Be the Captain of Your Table

By
Andrea Nierenberg
1
The deepest craving of human nature is
the need to feel valued and valuable. To
be a great conversationalist–make others
f...
Be the Captain of Your Table
•
•
•
•

Create conversation chemistry.
Get your point across.
Keep the conversation going.
I...
Visual & Non-Verbal
Body Language and What We Silently Communicate
• What impression are you really making?
• What are the...
Verbal
The secret to telling a good story:
• Prepare & Plan ahead!
– Know your audience and try to find out who
you’ll be ...
GREAT Communicators

The mysterious qualities that make one
person charismatic and likeable and
another less so have been ...
GREAT Communicators
Seven qualities that the finest communicators
always possess:
1. Confident and secure in their curiosi...
GREAT Communicators
4. Tenacious in going around obstacles
5. Excellent listeners
6. Rebound quickly and completely from
r...
The Five A’s
How to be extremely interesting and memorable:
• Accept Others As They Are – refrain from criticizing or
crit...
Ways to Win
People to Your Way
of Thinking —Dale Carnegie
2013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com

10
Avoid arguments.
Show respect for the other person's opinions.
Never tell someone they are wrong.
If you're wrong, admit i...
Let the other person feel the idea is
his/hers.
Try honestly to see things from the other
person's point of view.
Sympathi...
Getting People to Your Point of View
•

Begin with praise and honest appreciation.

•

Call attention to other people's mi...
Session Summary
• COMMUNICATE with
Confidence; CONCENTRATE

• CLEAR Communication and Conversation
• RESEARCH, REFLECT

• ...
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Be the captain of your table -Communicating Effectively

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Be the captain of your table -Communicating Effectively

  1. 1. Be the Captain of Your Table By Andrea Nierenberg 1
  2. 2. The deepest craving of human nature is the need to feel valued and valuable. To be a great conversationalist–make others feel important. 2013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com 2
  3. 3. Be the Captain of Your Table • • • • Create conversation chemistry. Get your point across. Keep the conversation going. Incorporate the 3 ways we communicate for any social situation. 2013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com 3
  4. 4. Visual & Non-Verbal Body Language and What We Silently Communicate • What impression are you really making? • What are the body signals that show you’re: – – – – – – Interested? Bored? Excited? Want to get away? Intimidated? Attracted? • What are the insights detected by others as you speak? 2013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com 4
  5. 5. Verbal The secret to telling a good story: • Prepare & Plan ahead! – Know your audience and try to find out who you’ll be meeting. – Keep it SHORT!!! – Organize a beginning, middle and end. 2013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com 5
  6. 6. GREAT Communicators The mysterious qualities that make one person charismatic and likeable and another less so have been contemplated by philosophers and business people throughout the years. 2013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com 6
  7. 7. GREAT Communicators Seven qualities that the finest communicators always possess: 1. Confident and secure in their curiosity and charisma factor 2. Appreciate those who help them 3. Nurture relationships consistently– focus on the other person 2013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com 7
  8. 8. GREAT Communicators 4. Tenacious in going around obstacles 5. Excellent listeners 6. Rebound quickly and completely from rejection–don’t take it personally 7. Friendly and approachable. 2013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com 8
  9. 9. The Five A’s How to be extremely interesting and memorable: • Accept Others As They Are – refrain from criticizing or critiquing unless asked • Appreciation – making someone else feel good–often by sincerely saying “thank you” • Approval – “babies cry for it” – “adults die for it”–look for ways to give praise • Admiration – Abraham Lincoln “Everybody likes a compliment’” • Attention – showing value and being present creates chemistry 2013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com 9
  10. 10. Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking —Dale Carnegie 2013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com 10
  11. 11. Avoid arguments. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never tell someone they are wrong. If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. Begin in a friendly way. Start with questions the other person will answer yes to. Let the other person do the talking. 2013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com 11
  12. 12. Let the other person feel the idea is his/hers. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view. Sympathize with the other person. Appeal to noble motives. Dramatize your ideas. Throw down a challenge. 2013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com 12
  13. 13. Getting People to Your Point of View • Begin with praise and honest appreciation. • Call attention to other people's mistakes indirectly. • Talk about your own mistakes first. • Ask questions instead of directly giving orders. • Let the other person save face. • Praise every improvement. • Give them a fine reputation to live up to. • Encourage them by making their faults seem easy to correct. • Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest. 2013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com 13
  14. 14. Session Summary • COMMUNICATE with Confidence; CONCENTRATE • CLEAR Communication and Conversation • RESEARCH, REFLECT • RELATE to the other person; RAPPORT to RELATIONSHIP • UNDERSTAND • Focus on the other ‘YOU’ • INVOLVE the other person. • SMILE, Stay flexible • STAY aware • TALK less, listen more • Know when to EXIT and END the conversation • ASK open-ended high gain questions; ATTITUDE is everything, Pay ATTENTION • LISTEN to words, thoughts, and emotions behind the message 2013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com 14

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