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Creation
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Creation

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  • 1. I think this is hilarious ! INEVER HEARD CREATION EXPLAINED THIS WAY BEFORE !!!
  • 2. In the beginning, God created theHeavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow, andred vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
  • 3. Then using Gods great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerrys Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. AndSatan said, "You want chocolate with that ?" And Man said, "Yes !" andWoman said, "and as long as youreat it, add some sprinkles." And theygained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
  • 4. And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
  • 5. So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-IslandDressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Womanunfastened their belts following the repast.
  • 6. God then said, "I have sent youheart healthy vegetables and olive oilin which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish andchicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gainedmore weight and his cholesterol went through the roof. God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It isgood." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devils Food."
  • 7. God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Womanlaughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.
  • 8. Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. AndSatan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips anddeep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.
  • 9. God then gave lean beef so that Manmight consume fewer calories and stillsatisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonalds and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that ?" And Man replied, "Yes ! And super size them !" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.
  • 10. God sighed and createdquadruple bypass surgery.
  • 11. Then Satan created private medical insurance !!!
  • 12. If you dont send this to five old friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world