Real Communication by Dan O’Hair and Mary WeimannManaging Conﬂict in Relationships
Conﬂict• Conflict is more than an argument.• Conflict is a negative interaction between 2 or more interdependent people.
Conﬂict• Conflict management is how we engage in conﬂict.• It is how we address disagreements with our relational partners.
Conﬂict• Unproductive conflict is conﬂict that is managed poorly.• It is conﬂict that has a negative affect on those involved.• It can cause health problems.
Conﬂict• Productive conflict is conﬂict that is managed effectively.• We ﬁnd a way to manage conﬂict, but don’t always ﬁnd a resolution.• It can foster healthy debate, lead to better decision- making, and spur relationship growth.
Reasons for Conﬂict•Misunderstandings and inaccurate perceptions of a situation.•If costs outweigh the rewards in a relationship, conﬂict may arise.
Reasons for Conﬂict•When goals are not compatible, conﬂict can occur.•Provocation is purposeful instigation.
Provocation• Aggression is verbal abuse or physical threats.• Identity management are insults that threaten your identity or attacks to your religion, values, race, or ethnic group.• Lack of fairness is when your shared resources are unbalanced.• Incompetence is someone doing poor work.
Inﬂuencing Forces• Imbalance of power• Attitudes like fear or distrust• Communication boundary management is an avoidance to discuss certain topics with certain people.
Inﬂuencing ForcesCommunication Climate is anatmosphere that conﬂictsproduce. • uncertain climates • defensive climates • supportive climates
Inﬂuencing ForcesCulture determines howconﬂicts are handled. • individualistic cultures emphasize personal needs. • collectivist cultures emphasize group identity.
Inﬂuencing ForcesChannel choice can inﬂuenceour communication. • Flaming is posting messages that are intentionally hostile or insulting online. • Cyber-bullying is abusive attacks over electronic channels.
Managing Conﬂict•Escapist Strategies avoids the issues.•Challenging strategies promotes your point of view like assertiveness.
Managing Conﬂict•Cooperative strategies •beneﬁt the relationship and serve mutual goals.
Conﬂict Outcomes• Compromise is giving up a little to gain a little as a quick resolution. • Trading • Random selection or ﬂipping a coin. • Beware of too much compromising on one side.
Conﬂict Outcomes• Win-win solutions please both parties.• Lose-lose solutions solves conﬂict but no one is happy.• Separation removes you from the relationship.• Decide to agree with the other person.