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Bullying presentation for SAS
 

Bullying presentation for SAS

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  • Bullying issues have come to a great rise nowadays and as parents, we are the first ones to take responsibility in helping our kids avoid becoming a potential bully or worse a victim of a bully.As a way of helping everyone especially the parents, who still find it quite hard to manage issues like this, I found this great application which featured a safety app which gets me connected to a Safety Network or escalate my call to the nearest 911 when needed, it has other cool features that are helpful for your kids with just a press of a Panic Button. Check it here: http://www.SafeKidZone.com/
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    Bullying presentation for SAS Bullying presentation for SAS Presentation Transcript

    • Bully Prevention
      By Timber Monteith & Laura Cowan
    • Definition
      “Bullying occurs when a student is repeatedly harmed, psychologically and/or physically, by another student (person) or a group of students (people)” (Olweus, 1993).
    • Scenes from a Tragedy
      Act I – Survey the Landscape
      Bully – surveys the playground or hallway, identifies a target, looks to see if any adults are paying attention
      Bullied – unaware he/she is being observed
      Bystanders –laughing & enjoying one another’s company
    • Act II – Test Run
      The Bully – may brush up against the target as if by accident, observes the reaction from the bullied and the bystanders, may use crude and hurtful names
      The Bullied – may react with a shrug, is uneasy and feels fear in his/her gut, doesn’t know what to do
      The Bystander – may either look away or laugh (giving support and approval to the bully)
    • Act III - Action
      Bully – may shove the target and view him/her as an object of ridicule, not as an equal
      Bullied – may blame him/herself for being attacked, feels powerless, may try to rationalize that the bully really doesn’t mean to cause any harm
      Bystanders – some may move away & feel guilty for not stopping the bullying. Others may join in and taunt the target. Depersonalization & desensitization.
    • Act IV - Emboldened
      Bully – may finds new opportunities to taunt & torment; feels more powerful as he/she gains control over victim
      Bullied – may spend class time trying to figure out way to avoid bully; cannot concentrate on schoolwork; gets physically sick; makes excuses to avoid playground, bathroom, lunchroom, etc…; feels hopeless & helpless
      Bystanders – may break into two camps: one group stays clear of bully & confrontation; second group joins in the bullying. Both fear the bully & rationalize the target had it coming & is outside their circle of caring; glad it’s not them
    • Act V – Pinnacle of Pain
      Bully – may continue to torment & hurt target with increased viciousness; may become labeled a bully; fails to develop healthy relationships; may not feel empathy towards victim; views self as powerful & well liked; sense of entitlement
      Bullied – may slump further into depression & rage – angry with self, bully, bystanders, & adults who wouldn’t or couldn’t help; also feels pressure & shame because now struggling academically; spends time thinking of ways to get revenge; might join other “undesirables” who plot revenge; withdraws further into isolation & exile
      Bystanders- may remain fearful of bully & blame target for being a victim; join the bullying; shrug shoulders as do not see others intervening; see no need to stop it
    • Act VI - Finale
      Bully – might grow up with poor sense of self, stunted social skills, aggressive; may become a bully in personal, social, & work relationships; continue cycle of violence; may move onto criminal activities
      Bullied – may do whatever he/she can to get rid of the pain (often results in pent-up rage exploding into violent aggression)
      Bystander – may either get caught in the crossfire, grow up guilt-ridden for not doing anything, or become desensitized to bullying
    • A Typical Bullying Scenario with a Not So Typical Ending
    • Four Markers of Bullying
      1. Imbalance of Power
      Older
      Bigger
      Stronger
      More verbally adept
      Higher up on social ladder
      Different race
      Opposite sex
      Number of kids against one person
    • Four Markers of Bullying
      2. Intent to Harm
      Emotional pain
      Physical pain
      Expects the action to hurt
      Takes pleasure in witnessing the hurt
      Not an accident, not playful teasing, not a slip of the tongue
    • Four Markers of Bullying
      3. Threat of Further Aggression
      Both bully & bullied know the bullying can probably occur again
      If support is not sought or received or if it is not dealt with appropriately, the bullying may not be a one time event.
    • Four Markers of Bullying
      When bullying escalates…4th element is added:
      TERROR
      Bullying is systematic violence used to intimidate and maintain dominance
      Bully acts without fear of retaliation or recrimination
      Bullied rendered so powerless that unlikely to fight back or tell anyone about it.
    • 3 Main Types of Bullying
      1. Verbal – words are powerful tools to break the spirit of a child at the receiving end
      2. Physical – most readily identifiable, but accounts for less than 1/3 of bullying incidents
      3. Non-verbal – ignoring, isolating, excluding, shunning, starting/spreading rumors. At it’s most powerful during middle school years as young teens are trying to figure out who they are & trying to fit in with their peers.
    • What Bullies have in Common
      Dominate other people
      Use other people to get what they want
      Find it hard to see a situation from another person’s vantage point
      Are concerned with only their own wants & pleasures, and not the needs, rights & feelings of others
      Tend to hurt others when adults are not around
    • What Bullies have in Common
      View weaker siblings and peers as prey
      Use blame, criticism & false allegations to project their own inadequacies onto their target
      Refuse to accept responsibility for their actions
      Lack foresight
      Crave attention
      Role models often use aggression
    • What Bullies have in Common
      It’s not the bully we dislike, it’s the behavior that we do not like. Bullies are often acting out in an unhealthy manner the pain they are feeling.
    • Contempt is the Key
      Bullying is often NOT about anger or conflict towards the target. Bullies are often acting out anger from a different source
      Bullying is about contempt – a powerful feeling of dislike toward somebody considered to be worthless, inferior, or undeserving of respect (more often than not bullies are feeling this way about themselves).
      Bullies often feel a sense of entitlement, an intolerance towards differences, and a liberty to exclude.
    • Kids take after adult role models:
    • Teasing vs. Taunting
      Teasing:
      Teaser and person teased can easily swap roles
      No intention of hurting anyone
      Maintains basic dignity of everyone involved
      It is meant for both parties to laugh
      Is only a small part of activities shared by kids
      Is innocent in motive
      Is discontinued should someone become upset or objects to the teasing
      Teasing is necessary part of socializing & building relationships
      Flirtation
    • Teasing vs. Taunting
      Taunting:
      Based on imbalance of power and is one-sided
      Is intended to harm
      Involves humiliation, cruel, demeaning, or bigoted comments thinly disguised as a joke
      Includes laughter directed at the target, not with the target
      Is meant to diminish the self-worth of the target
      Includes fear of further taunting and can be prelude to physical bullying
      Continues especially when targeted kid becomes distressed or objects to the taunts
      Sexual harassment
    • The Bullied are often kids who:
      Are the new kids on the block
      Youngest in the school
      Have been traumatized by other life events
      Are submissive & lack self-confidence
      Have behaviors others find annoying
      Are unwilling or unable to stand up for themselves
      Are shy, reserved, quiet and unassuming
      Are rich or poor
      Whose race, ethnicity, religion, or sexual orientation are viewed by the bully as inferior, deserving of contempt
    • The Bullied are often kids who:
      Are bright, talented, gifted and ‘stand out’
      Expresses emotions easily
      Appear physically different from norms of age group
      wear braces or glasses
      Have acne or another skin condition
      Have physical attributes that are different from the majority
      Have a physical or mental disability
    • Kids who are bullied often do not tell anyone about it because:
      They are ashamed of being bullied
      They are afraid of retaliation
      They don’t think anyone can help
      They don’t think anyone will help
      They believe the lie that it’s okay because bullying is part of growing up
      They believe that adults are part of the lie, since it is not only kids who are bullying them
      The have learned that “ratting” on a bully is not cool
    • So Now What?
      What do we do if a child says he/she is being bullied?
    • A few do’s if your child is bullied
      Say “I hear you, I am here for you, I believe you, you are not alone in this”
      Validate your child’s feelings
      Help your child see that it is not his/her fault
      Talk with your child about an effective plan
      Report bullying to the school
      Help your child develop a strong sense of self.
    • A few don’ts if your child is bullied
      Do not minimize, rationalize, or explain the bully’s behavior
      Do not rush to solve the problem for your child
      Do not tell your child to avoid the bully unless physical safety is an issue
      Do not tell your child to fight back
      Do not confront the bully or the bully’s parents alone.
    • Remember!
      Bystanders can be part of the problem or part of the solution
    • No Innocent Bystanders
      Followers/Henchmen – take active part but do not start the bullying
      Supporters – support bullying but do not take active part
      Passive Supporters – who like bullying but do not display open support
      Disengaged onlookers – watch what happens, but do not take a stand
      Possible Defenders – do not like bullying and think they should help out, but don’t
      Defenders of the Target – do not like bullying and try to help
    • Lame Excuses
      Why do 81% (Olweus, 1995) take part in bullying or turn a blind eye?
      The bully is my friend
      It’s not my problem. It’s not my fight
      The target is not my friend
      He’s a loser
      She deserved to be bullied, asked for it, had it coming
      The bullying will toughen him up
      I don’t want to be a rat or a snitch
      It’s better to be in the “in” group than with the outcasts
      I don’t want to be the next target
    • What can you do at home to prevent bullying?
      Parents give their kids 6 critical life messages every day
      I believe in you
      I trust you
      I know you can handle life situations
      You are listened to
      You are cared for
      You are very important to me
      THESE MESSAGES HELP CHILDREN TO BUFFER THE POSSIBLE IMPACTS OF A BULLY, OR FROM THE NEED TO BECOME A BULLY!
    • What can you do at home to prevent bullying?
      Listen to your child with an open mind
      Create opportunities for your child to talk about their lives
      Spend time with one another (Family Dinners!)
      Each person talks about best, worst, & funniest part of the day.
    • What can you do if your child bullies?
      1). Intervene immediately with discipline – the goals should be to instruct, teach, guide, and help your child become self-disciplined
      Show child that he/she has done something wrong (don not mince words)
      Give child ownership of the problem – no excuses
      Give child a process to solve the problem he/she created
      Leave dignity intact (child is not a bad person, but the act of bullying was not that of a caring, responsible person
      Find out why and what triggered this behavior
    • What can you do if your child bullies?
      2). Create opportunities to “do good”
      3). Nurture empathy
      4). Teach friendship skills (assertive, respectful, & peaceful ways to deal with others)
      5). Closely monitor your child’s TV viewing, video game playing, computer activities, & music
      6). Engage in more constructive, entertaining, & energizing activities
    • Warning Signs your child is being bullied
      Abrupt lack of interest in school or refusal to go to school
      Takes an unusual route to school
      Grades drop
      Withdraws from family & school activities
      Hungry after school, saying he/she lost lunch money
      Taking parents’ money and making lame excuses to where it went
      Heads straight to the bathroom when gets home from school
    • Warning Signs
      Is sad, sullen, angry, or scared after receiving a phone call or email
      Does something out of character
      Uses derogatory or demeaning language when talking about peers
      Stops talking about peers and everyday activities
      Has physical injuries not consistent with explanation
      Has disheveled, torn, or missing clothing
      Has stomachaches, headaches, panic attacks, is unable to sleep, sleeps too much, is exhausted
    • Take a Stand Against Bullies!
    • Homework
      Have a conversation with your child about bullying.
      An information sheet containing the do’s & don’t’s of bullying, and some questions to ask your child is attached.
    • Resources and Bibliography
      Coloroso, B. (2002). The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander. Toronto: HarperCollins Publishers.
      Thompson, M. (2002). Mom, They’re Teasing Me; Helping your child solve social problems. New York: Ballantine Books.
      Thompson, M. (2001). Best Friends, Worst Enemies; Understanding the social lives of children. New York: Ballantine Books.
      Garbarino, J. & deLara, E. (2002). And Words Can Hurt Forever. New York: Free Press.
      Bonds, M. & Stoker, S. (2000). Bully Proofing Your School. Longmont, CO: Sopris West.
      Beane, A. (1999). Bully Free Classroom. Minneapolis, MN: Free Spirit Publishing.
      http://www.bullying.org/