Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents


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  • Bullying can have catastrophic consequences for all involved.If your child reports being bulied, write down her story.These can help you prove that a pattern of bullying is occurring, and it will let school officials know that you take the problem seriously.As a way of helping everyone especially the parents, who find it quite hard to manage time, I found this great Safety Service which featured a safety app which gets me connected to a Safety Network or escalate my call to the nearest 911 when needed, it has other cool features that are helpful for your kids with just a press of a Panic Button. #SafekidZone, Check it here:
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Alberti Center Sample Presentation for Parents

  1. 1. Bullying PreventionWorkshop for Parents Amanda Nickerson, Ph.D. Associate Professor and Director Alberti Center for Bullying Abuse Prevention University at Buffalo
  2. 2. Key Points of Presentation• What is Bullying?• Recognize the Warning Signs• “Bullyproofing” My Child• My Child is Being Bullied• My Child Might Be Bullying Others• How Do I Get Help?
  3. 3. What is Bullying?
  4. 4. What is Bullying?Intentional, usually repeatedacts of verbal, physical, orwritten aggression by a peer(or group of peers) operatingfrom a position of strength orpower with the goal of hurtingthe victim physically ordamaging status and/or socialreputation Olweus (1978); United States Department of Education (1998)
  5. 5. What are the Different Types of Bullying?• Physical bullying o punching, shoving, acts that hurt people• Verbal bullying o name calling, making offensive remarks• Indirect bullying o spreading rumors, excluding, ganging up• Cyber bullying o sending insulting messages, pictures or threats by e-mail, text messaging, chat rooms Hinduja & Patchin (2009)
  6. 6. How is Bullying Different from Teasing and Conflict?Bullying: Based on a powerimbalance; intent to causepsychological or physical harm;usually repeated Teasing: Fun, good-natured, “give-and-take” between friends to get both parties to laughConflict: Astruggle, dispute, ormisunderstanding betweentwo equal forces
  7. 7. When and Where Does Bullying Occur?• Pre-K through late high school (and beyond); peaks in grades 4-7• Can happen anywhere, but it is most likely to occur in less closely supervised areas (bus, locker room, hallways, playground, online)
  8. 8. Is Bullying Different in Boys and Girls?• Boys o More direct, physical bullying o Bully more frequently than girls o Bully both boys and girls• Girls o More indirect (harder to detect) o Often occurs in groups and with girls of same age o Cyberbullying slightly more common than for malesBanks (2000); Cook, Williams, Guerra, Kim, & Sadek, (2010); Crick & Grotpeter, (1995); Hinduja & Patchi (2009); Hoover & Oliver, (1996); Nansel et al., (2001); Olweus, (2002); Underwood, (2003)
  9. 9. What do we Know about Students who Bully?• Desire for power and control• Get satisfaction from others’ suffering• Justify their behavior (“he deserved it”)• More exposed to physical punishment• More likely to be depressed• May have other problem behaviors (alcohol and drug use, fighting) Batsche & Knoff (1994); Beaver, Perron, & Howard, (2010); Olweus (1993); Swearer et al. (in press); Vaughn, Bender, DeLisi, (in press)
  10. 10. Recognize theWarning Signs
  11. 11. What are Signs that Child May be Bullying Others?• Refer to others negatively (wimp, loser)• Lack empathy• Strong need to get his or her own way• Hostile/defiant attitude• Anger easily• Deny involvement or blame others when behavior is addressed
  12. 12. What are Characteristics of Children who are Bullied?• Have a position of relative weakness o Age, ethnic background, financial status, disability, sexual orientation• Most are passive and lack assertiveness o Do nothing to invite aggression o Do not fight back when attached o May relate better to adults than peers• Some provoke others o Offend, irritate, tease others o Reactive; fight back when attacked Boivin, Poulin, & Vitaro (1994); Hodges & Perry (1999); Olweus (1978, 1993, 2001); Schwartz (2000); Snyder et al. (2003)
  13. 13. What are Kids Bullied About?• Appearance/body size• Perceived sexual orientation• How masculine or feminine they appear to be• Ability at school (“invisible” disabilities)• Race/ethnicity• Money• Religion “If they look different, love different, or walk different” - Kevin Jennings
  14. 14. What are Signs that Child May be Bullied• Unexplained illnesses, cuts/bruises• Not wanting to go to school or be in social situations• Any change in behavior o Not interested in doing things that he/she used to like doing o Withdrawn
  15. 15. What are Consequences for Youth who Bully?• More likely to experience legal or criminal troubles as adults• Poor ability to develop and maintain positive relationships in later life Andershed, Kerr, & Stattin (2001); Farrington (2009); Farrington, & Ttofi (2009, 2011); Oliver, Hoover, & Hazler (1994); Olweus (1993); Ttofi & Farrington (2008)
  16. 16. What are Consequences for Targets of Bullying?• Emotional distress• Loneliness, peer rejection• Desire to avoid school• Increased anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation; low self-esteem• In some cases, may respond with extreme violence Boivin, Hymel, & Bukowski (1995); Boulton & Underwood (1992); Crick & Bigbee (1998); Egan & Perry (1998); Hinduja, & Patchin, (2009); Kochenderfer & Ladd (1996); Nickerson & Sltater (2009); Olweus (1993); Perry et al. (1988)
  17. 17. “Bullyproofing” My Child
  18. 18. Be a Positive Role Model• Talk with and listen to your child (about school, peers, interests• Listen to and validate concerns about friends and other students• Treat others with dignity and respect• Avoid using derogatory terms toward or about others in person and/or electronically (View Think Before You Speak video) Hymel, Nickerson, & Swearer
  19. 19. Get and Stay Involved• Get involved in school, in community, and at home o Do so in a developmentally appropriate way (mindful of child’s and school’s preference)• Visit school’s website and read newsletters• Know the school’s policies in terms of bullying prevention and intervention• Join the PTA and volunteer• Attend extracurricular and sporting events o Support child’s talents and competence o Get to know coaches, counselors, and leaders
  20. 20. Teach Children Good Habits Early and Consistently• Have high expectations for behavior and a low tolerance for being mean• Be specific about how specific words and behaviors can hurt others• Teach better ways to respond (All feelings are OK – but not all behaviors are OK)• Emphasize the importance of being a friend
  21. 21. Bullying, Friendship, and Relationships Visit other resources and conversation starters
  22. 22. Teach Children to be Upstanders, not Bystanders• Don’t join in… speak up if it is safe to do so• Band together as a group against bullies• Tell an adult about the bullying o Tattling/ratting = telling an adult to get someone in trouble o Telling/reporting = telling an adult because someone’s behavior is unsafe or hurtful to another• Reach out to isolated peers, offer support• See
  23. 23. Cyberbullying Prevention• Teach responsible use of technology o Only communicate things that you would be OK about your parents seeing o Follow rules (no Facebook under age of 13) o Beware of anonymous sites like Formspring o Use the “off” switch • Do not respond to upsetting communications• Supervise and limit activities (no 24/7) o Have computers in common areas (not in bedroom) o Know child’s password o Be friend on Facebook o Bring cell phones, computers to parents’ room to charge overnight
  24. 24. My Child isBeing Bullied
  25. 25. If Your Child is Being Bullied (View From the Mouth of Youth video)• Listen and empathize o “Tell me what happened” o “That must have been very scary for you” o Thank child for telling you• Take it seriously o Do not minimize of trivialize
  26. 26. If Your Child is Being Bullied• Work with child to find out more about situation and to problem-solve o Responses like “just ignore it,” “give him a good whack,” what did you do to bother him or her?” won’t help• Work in partnership with school and with outside professionals if needed• Follow-up
  27. 27. My Child Might Be Bullying Others
  28. 28. If Your Child is Bullying Others• Send clear, firm, and supportive message that the behavior is not OK and that you are going to work with child to change it (meaningful consequences)• Try to figure out why your child is bullying o Desire for social power or status? o Temperament issue that needs more adult regulation? o Going along with peers? o Being bullied by others and lashing out?
  29. 29. If Your Child is Bullying Others• Work with teacher or counselor to plan for change o Involve child in developing alternate behaviors or ideas to gain leadership and “social status” that don’t involve bullying others• Provide specific examples (from your experience; carefully screened books and media)
  30. 30. How Do I Get Help?
  31. 31. Know that there are Resources AvailableLocal Resources for Families• Family Resource Centers (Cleveland Hill 836-7200 Ext. 8363)• Catholic Charities – 218-1400• Child & Adolescent Treatment Services Intake – 835-780• Child & Family Services – 842-750• Prevention Focus/Teen Focus – 884-3256• Erie County Council for the Prevention of Alcohol & Substance Abuse – 831-2298• Mental Health Association of Erie County – 886-1242• Police (911)Referrals for Students in Crisis• 1-800-273-TALK (Suicide Lifeline)• 1-866-4-U-Trevor (LGBTQ Youth Suicide Hotline)• 716-834-1144 or 1-877-KIDS-400 (Buffalo Crisis Services Hotline)
  32. 32. Questions? Thank you for your attention and interest! To make the best use of our time, please make sure your question is… 1. A question, rather than a statement 1. Something I am likely to be able to answerFor more resources, please visit us at