Marriage ( 1 )Staying Married ≄ Staying In Love Slides by: Timothy Chan, based on John Piper’s “This Momentary Marriage” & Tim Keller’s “The Meaning of Marriage”
Marriage In Today’s Culture❖ Today’s culture devalues or misunderstands marriage ❖ “Marriage is just a piece of paper” ❖ “Marriage is an archaic and oppressive institution” ❖ “Do you want to be single and lonely, or married and bored?” (Chris Rock, comedian) Many people believe these are indeed the only two options. ❖ Many say living together before marriage improves your chances of making a good marriage choice. ❖ Comment on a Yahoo forum: “Im getting married next year because I love my ﬁancé. However, if things change, I wont hesitate to divorce him.”
Marriage In Today’s Culture❖ New York Times: “The Happy Marriage Is the ‘Me’ Marriage” (Dec 2010) ❖ “... in modern relationships, people are looking for a partnership, and they want partners who make their lives more interesting ... help each of them attain valued goals.” (Tara Parker-Hope)
Marriage In Today’s Culture❖ Psychology Today: “The Case Against Marriage: Marriage Does More Harm Than Good” (Jan 2012) ❖ “Nothing in life is permanent. Yet with marriage, we expect ourselves to defy the laws of nature ... Wouldnt it be more meaningful if when entering a relationship, we accept the truth that its going to end some day. Then we can attach with fewer expectations and value and learn from what is real”
Marriage In Today’s Culture❖ Psychology Today: “The Case Against Marriage: Marriage Does More Harm Than Good” (Jan 2012) ❖ “As an alternative to marriage, serial relationships and casual encounters constantly create new and unexpected challenges calling on us to reach more deeply in order to navigate the demands of diﬀerent experiences.” (Stanley Siegel)
Your View Of Marriage❖ (Q) Pick one of the above quotes/articles/images from today’s culture that devalues or misunderstands marriage. What is your response to it?❖ (Q) Why did you decide to get married?
God’s View Of Marriage❖ When Jesus gave a glimpse of the magniﬁcent view of marriage that God designed for mankind, the disciples said to him: (Matt 19:10) “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” ❖ In other words, God’s view of marriage is so diﬀerent from ours, that the disciples could not even imagine it to be a good thing.❖ Jesus answered them: (Matt 19:11) “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given.”
God’s View Of Marriage❖ “The greatness and glory of marriage is beyond our ability to think or feel without divine revelation and without the illumining and awakening work of the Holy Spirit.” (John Piper)❖ Two things we can say about marriage: 1. The most foundational thing about marriage: Marriage is God’s invention 2. The most ultimate thing about marriage: Marriage is for God’s glory
Foundation Of Marriage❖ Marriage is God’s idea. ❖ The Bible begins with a marriage of Adam & Eve, and ends with a marriage of Christ and the church. ❖ (Gen 2:18) Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper ﬁt for him.” ❖ (Gen 2:22) And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. ❖ (Gen 2:24) Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one ﬂesh.
Foundation Of Marriage❖ Therefore, marriage is from God and through God. ❖ (Mark 10:9) What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.❖ “What God institutes he also regulates. If God invented marriage, then those who enter it should make every eﬀort to understand and submit to his purposes for it.” (Tim Keller)
Ultimate Purpose Of Marriage❖ God designed marriage to be a temporary gift. Marriage only lasts in this life, and we will not be married to our spouses in heaven. ❖ (Mark 12:25) For when they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.❖ (Q) There is no human marriage after death. How does this shape your view of earthly marriage?❖ The blessings we may receive in marriage – precious children, sexual intimacy, high romance – are to be held loosely, for they are not part of the next life.
Ultimate Purpose Of Marriage❖ Therefore, marriage is not an ends but a means. It is meant to be a “momentary” means that points toward an ends with “permanence.”❖ Marriage is not just from God and through God, but it is ultimately for the glory of God.
Ultimate Purpose Of Marriage❖ How is marriage being used to glorify God? ❖ Marriage exists to re-enact the gospel. ❖ (Eph 5:31-32) “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one ﬂesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. ❖ “The highest meaning and the most ultimate purpose of marriage is to put the covenant relationship of Christ and his church on display.” (John Piper)
Ultimate Purpose Of Marriage❖ “Marriage is not mainly about being or staying in love. It’s mainly about telling the truth with our lives. It’s about portraying something true about Jesus Christ and the way he relates to his people. It is about showing in real life the glory of the gospel.” (John Piper)❖ (Q) What kind of picture is your marriage currently portraying to other people? How is Jesus and/or the gospel being displayed by the way you relate to your spouse?
Marriage Is A Covenant❖ “Staying married, therefore, is not mainly about staying in love. It is about keeping covenant. “Till death do us part” or “As long as we both shall live” is a sacred covenant promise – the same kind Jesus made with his bride when he died for her.” (John Piper)
Marriage Is A Covenant❖ “Therefore, what makes divorce and remarriage so horriﬁc in God’s eyes is not merely that it involves covenant-breaking to the spouse, but that it involves misrepresenting Christ and his covenant. Christ will never leave his wife. Ever.” (John Piper) ❖ (Prov 2:17) [She] forsakes the companion of her youth and forgets the covenant of her God. ❖ “To break faith with your spouse is to break faith with God at the same time.” (Tim Keller)❖ (Q) If Christ wants our marriages to reﬂect his loving union with us, his church, what changes might this inspire you to make in your marriage?
Summary of Study #1❖ It’s impossible to understand the greatness of marriage without divine intervention.❖ Marriage is God’s idea – it is from God and through God.❖ There will not be human marriage in heaven – marriage is a momentary gift.❖ Marriage exists to re-enact the gospel, to display the loving union between Christ and his bride, the church.❖ Staying married is not mainly about staying in love. It’s about keeping covenant.