How to talk like a ge1sha

How to talk like a Ge1shaA guide to Japanese as a programmers language Andrew Grimm Railscamp X

Hello World● Minasan konnichiwa (Hello everyone)

Vocabulary● Puroguramaa: Programmer● Waaurufu: werewolf● Bagu: bug● Burogu: blog● Paatii: party● Biiru: Beer

Plz halp● Good morning: Ohayou gozaimasu● Gday: Konnichiwa● Good evening: Konbanwa● How you going, mate? Genki desu ka?● Please (halp): Kudasai● Please (go ahead): Douzo● Thanx: Arigatou● Goodbye: Ja mata

How to copulate● Noun, subject marker, noun, desu● Bigg-san wa puroguramaa desu● Mr Bigg is a programmer

!● Japanese uses different verb forms for negative versus positive● Bigg-san wa waaurufu dewa arimasen● Mr Bigg is not a werewolf

From future import present tense● Japanese does not have a future tense● Just use the present tense

Particles● Those pesky small words go after the noun● No: of● Wa: used to indicate subject● O: used to indicate object● Kara: From (some meanings)● Made: To (some meanings)

Nouns● No singular or plural● Different objects have different counters● Five: go● Five beers: go-hon no biru● Five programmers: go-nin no puroguramaa● Five am: go-ji

Metaprogramming● Kore: This (near speaker)● Sore: That (near listener)● Are: That over there (far from listener)● Kore o kudasai (this please) served in every restaurant I went to – even McDonalds!

Linguistic prolog● To ask a question, just replace a known with a who/what/where word, and add ka at the end● Nan-ji desu ka? (What oclock is it?)● Biru-ji desu. (Beer oclock it is)

Japanese writing● Three writing systems:● Kanji● Hiragana● Katakana

Kanji: the evils of copy & paste● The Japanese copied Chinese characters to represent Japanese words● One character per word● 2000+ characters

Hiragana and katakana: shortcuts● More like alphabets● Derived from simplifications of kanji used for sound alone● Each letter represents a syllable● Each has ~ 46 letters● In general, hiragana used in native words, katakana in European loanwords

Legacy encodings● Japanese used to have many letters with the same pronounciation.● The Japanese government declared these letters obsolete (hentaigana) and not to be taught at school

Politeness: -san● -san is put after names● -san obeys whats called ingroup/outgroup rules● Dont use -san when talking about yourself● Dont use -san for someone in your family when talking to someone outside your family

Politeness: verb forms● Different verb forms are used for different levels of politeness.● The form you initially learn is called teinei- go.● Originated with language used by ge1sha to address their guests (hence the title of this talk)

Politeness: o- / go- words● Used for important things ● O-cha: Tea ● Go-han: Rice ● O-kane: Money ● O-sake: Booze / sake● Used to soften “dirty” words ● O-tearai: bathroom

Politeness: family● When talking about someone elses family, politeness goes up to 11 and you use o-/go- and -san● Father (someone elses): o-tou-san● When talking about your own family to someone else, you use a humble form● Father (your own, when talking to someone else): chichi

Learning Japanese● 16 lessons at a community college was enough for me to speak Japanese, even if not understand the response● “Japanese for Busy People” is slightly boring but good – you can use it if you miss lessons● Searching the internet to answer your curiosities about the language can be a time sink

Learning in romaji or kana● Learning in romaji (Roman letters) is technical debt● I was able to visit Japan without learning kana (hiragana and katakana)

Hints for handling Japan – Japan specific

Train stations● Station names, exit names, and ticketing is in both Japanese and English

Loanwords● The more modern the word, the more likely it is an English loanword (gairai-go)● Tend to have vowels added in to sound more Japanese-like

American English● Bad news: you have to learn two languages● Good news: one of them is similar to English

English heading, Japanese body

Toilets● Blue for boys, pink for girls, green for disabled

Communication – common sense

Pronunciation● 50% of language variations are the same words pronounced in a different way● Writing things down can help ● Gives people more time to understand ● Japanese learn written English more than spoken

Likelihood to speak English● Tourist information desk? Pretty likely● Love hotel receptionist? Maybe not

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How to talk like a ge1sha

by Andrew Grimm

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