JUNE 2011 Funny Bone“A cheerful heart is good medicine…” Proverbs 17:22 A Funny Thing FLAG DAY…THE “BIRTHDAY” OF OUR FLAG Happened on the Way to Better Hearing… Many of you may not think of – or even be aware of – America’s lightly remembered holiday: “Flag Day”. Although Americans across the nation Ahhh…the joys of being a celebrate America’s birthday every July, a lesser-observed holiday is thebaby-boomer! Since I, my “birthday” of our flag, celebrated on June 14th. The Continental Congresssiblings – and so many of my passed a resolution adopting the “Stars and Stripes” as the official nationalfriends – have crested the “hill” flag on June 14, 1777..that we are now spilling over in The resolution stated that the banner would carry thirteenlarge numbers, I’m hearing stars and thirteen stripes, representing the number of originalmore and more amusing colonies that existed at the time of our independence fromanecdotes to pass along. Great Britain. The red stripes were chosen to represent The other day my husband hardiness and valor; the white stripes for purity and innocence,and I went out for Mexican and the blue backdrop for vigilance, perseverance, and justice.food with friends. Sheila told Formalization of a day specifically set aside to honorus how she and her husband, America’s ensign of freedom is credited to a Wisconsin school teacher, Mr.Gary, have been fighting the BJ Cigrand, who set a formal program into motion. In 1885, it wasBattle of the Bulge by eating Cigrand’s desire to give homage to the flag on the 108th anniversary of itssalads for dinner. Gary has adoption. He held the first publicly-recognized formal observance at Stonytaken to the task of making the Hill School, a small, one-room schoolhouse in Waubeka, Wisconsin. Insalads and has been finding June, 1886, Cigrand publicly proposed an annual observance of the birth ofways to make them particularly the flag and from the late 1880’s on, he spoke around the country onenjoyable. During our festive patriotism, respect for the flag, and the importance of honoring our nation’sMexican meal, Sheila bragged most beloved symbol of freedom.on Gary’s special salads; Gary On June 14, 1894, a public school children’s celebration of Flag Daysoaked up the praise until he took place in Chicago, with over 300,000 children participating – due, inmisunderstood two words. large part, to Cigrand’s speeches on patriotism and the flag. And while Having eaten a hefty many others contributed to the promotion of a patriotic observance,burrito, Sheila remarked, “Gary Cigrand became president of the American Flag Day Association and,and I will have to eat soup and later, the National Flag Day Society. At one time he noted he had givensalad all week to make up for over 2,188 patriotic speeches. BJ Cigrand is generally credited as “theall these calories tonight!” Father of Flag Day” and the Chicago Tribune noted that he “almost single- handedly” established the holiday. Gary teasingly huffed, “Ah! In June, 1776, Betsy Ross was commissioned by GeorgeThe truth comes out! You just Washington to sew the first official flag to replace thetold them you like my salads!” many different flags flown by the fledging country. In Sheila looked at him 1891, the Betsy Ross House in Philadelphia held aquizzically. “I do…” she Flag Day observance and has since been aassured him. To which Gary predominant site for annual Flag Day celebrations.answered, “Then what do you On August 3, 1949, June 14th was officially established as National Flagmean, ‘We’ll have to eat stupid Day by an Act of Congress under President Harry S. Truman.salad all week’?” Although many of us may not have given much thought to Flag Day in A few good chuckles later, I the past, it just might be that June 14, 2011 is a good time to pull out “Thetalked Gary into a hearing test. Grand Old Flag” again and just let her wave from now through July 4th !See you next week, Gary! ‘… you’re a high-flyin’ flag and forever in peace may you wave!’
JUNE...SCHOOL’S OUT! “Buddy’s Bio” Maybe that’s why these Our family schedule has been extremely busy the discombobulated definitions and past few weeks and I hadn’t yet had a chance to meetmeasurements got past the teachers… the new neighbors – until we had a good reason: Buddy !Megahertz: a million aches and pains Recently I have been traveling to business conventions, looking atHospital: I.V. League all the new technologies for hearing aids for 2011. That leaves MarielaParadigms: 8 nickels home alone with Luke, Daniel, and yes… Buddy.C-Ration: meal measured to feed 100 The house next door had been up for sale for many months. Finally the house sold at rock-bottom price.Benign: what you’ll be after eight (That hurts the old equity!) I don’t know why, but for someBalderdash: rapidly receding hairline reason, I silently sort of blamed the new buyers for theSemicolon: half of a large intestine entire real estate problem. Not to say that someone else wouldn’t have bought the house for the same reducedMegaphone: 1 million microphones price, but since they are the ones who bought it, it makesUnicycle: 365.25 days me feel better to blame them.Megacycle: 1 million bicycles Once the purchase is made, the whole process starts with all of theAvoidable: what a bullfighter tries to do construction people coming to update the home before the new residentsMicrofiche: 1 millionth of a fish move in. This is always a nuisance! Noise at six a.m. sharp; all of the strangers coming and going, and never sure what they’re doing here inMyth: a female moth the first place – while taking all of the parking spots in front of our house.Centipede: odor from a wet diaper One of the last services to arrive was the landscapers. They rippedTerrapin: 1 trillion pins everything out of the large planter in front of the house. Of course, I’mEternity: last two minutes of a football away at the hearing convention, and each day Buddy would go over and game dig up about half of what was planted after they hadDiagram: 2 monograms left for the day. I mean, actually unearthing the new plants from the roots – and deeper. TheParadox: 2 physicians workers would bring more new plants and BuddyWonTon: 2000 lbs of Chinese soup would wait until they would leave and dig themMicroscope: 1 millionth of a swig a up again. I’m not real sure what he was after, but mouthwash when I heard about this, I had to believe that BuddyCircumference of an Alaskan igloo: shared my thoughts about all of this housing mess and 1 Eskimo Pi was getting a small token of revenge on the market.16.5 feet into the Twilight Zone: Unaware of Buddy ‘s newest escapade, I fly in from out of town 1 Rod Serling midday and come home. As you know, I work every day of the week, soBasic Unit of Laryngitis: to be home in the middle of the week is a real treat for me. The kids are 1 hoarsepower at school, the neighbors are at work. Maybe I can relax for a while. IWeight an evangelist’s prayers pull my suitcase out of the car and start into the house. I hear ancarries with God: 1 billigram unfamiliar voice say those same words I have heard echoing from theHow long you’ll be at sea to sail 220 past, “Is this your dog?” I turn around to see a lady holding a very dirty-yards, at one nautical mile per hour: pawed but happy-looking Buddy. Knotfurlong “Yes; that’s ‘Buddy’ “, I say. Holding Buddy out to me, she responds,Shortest pathway between two jokes: “Yes, I know his name. I’m your new neighbor, Jodi. Buddy has been A straight line out every day getting into my planter.” Buddy shows no remorse. Many of these came from our veryfaithful friend, Lyn Rosenfield. She often “I’m sorry,” I apologize, as I take Buddy from her and introduceshares her sense of humor with us and myself – all the while thinking, “Jodi, you have no idea what you’re upwe sincerely appreciate the items any of against. It’s likely you’ll see a lot of Buddy ; you might as well get usedour readers pass on to us. Keep reading! to it.” Taking Buddy ’s cue, I’m ashamed to admit that I, too, feel noYours may show up next! remorse. “Nice to meet you,” I pretend. I’ll warm up to them tomorrow…
SAY SO LONG TO SOPHOMORICSOPHISTICATION – HELLO, HIGH TECH! A MONTH OF CELEBRATION – CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL OF YOU! Some of you have recently called our office to schedule anappointment with me, only to find out I was out traveling to differentbusiness events. Each spring, hearing instrument manufacturers – thatspend millions of dollars in research, development, and testing of new FOR EVERYONE:products – roll out their newest technologies and designs, revealing thelatest innovations in their hearing systems. After attending the recent BATTERY TESTER:seminars and conventions, this year is the best I have ever seen! ½ PRICE! $7.00 SAVINGS! Some years, there may be only one specific manufacturer that has asignificant breakthrough. This year, all of them have new products that COUPON GOOD THRU JUNE 30, 2011are far superior to the products offered just last year! Impressively, thetime required from idea conception to having a viableworking product for consumer purchase has become aremarkably fast process. I don’t have the space here togo into details from each company specifically, but I willshare some of the highlights: Phonak has always been a company with a vision forwireless communication. One of my favorite Behind-the- YOU SAID IT!Ear wireless systems is the “SmartLink”. This hand-held remote control Straight From Our Customer’s Heart:is also an FM transmitter! You can position it in many different places to ‘I love these new Audibel hearingpick up the sounds you want to hear, i.e. next to the TV, on a speaker’s aids. Now when I’m in my jewelry class,podium at a luncheon or around the neck of a tour guide – with their I can hear the instructor. I love that I canpermission of course! This way, the sound signal is sent directly into change the aids so I can hear the ladiesyour hearing aids. This “SmartLink” also links to your phone, so you can in front of me instead of the peoplehear a phone conversation with both ears! behind me. I can actually hear both Oticon has really come a long way with providing solutions for patients male and female voices. It used to be Ito understand speech in noisy environments. With their ConnectLine couldn’t hear women. Now I don’t havehardware, you can hear your TV right in your own hearing aids, and the to tell women to speak up and men totelephone can be heard with BlueTooth technology when you wear the slow down. Thank you all.’“streamer” (wireless remote) around your neck. The hearing aids vary in Yours truly, Mildred Pendlaysize, color and power to fit almost any hearing loss. Dana Point ReSound announced a new system that provides a 2.4 gigahertzsignal technology that can pick up a wireless signal from your televisionso you can hear your favorite programs and hear the conversation ofsomeone in the room with you. The new special feature of ReSound’sproduct is the Remote Wireless Microphone that the speaker you wantto hear can wear, transmitting their voice directly into your hearing aids! Of course, we highlighted Audibel’s wireless Range product earlierthis year, when it was introduced in January. Again, the innovative and very sophisticated technology that is being used to provide you with the best that hearing aids can offer in the 21st century makes our job more fun and exciting all the time – and more successful for you! I will continue to highlight more REMEMBER TO LOOK FOR OURexciting options from different manufacturers in next month’s issue. “HIDDEN IN PLAIN VIEW” HEART.Can’t wait until next month? Call us today to find out how these FIND IT AND GET A PRIZE!ground-breaking technologies can improve your life. (MAY’S HEART ENCIRCLED LADY’S HEAD AT MOVIES)
3ADVANCED EAR CARE 24310 Moulton Pkwy., Ste. D Laguna Woods, CA 92637 (949) 830-5330 E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org Website: www.advancedearcare.comLOONEY LAW: Mtn View, CA: It is illegal to give your pet fish an aggressive name such as ‘Killer’.’Biter’ or ‘Sugar-Ray’. A FATHER’S LOVE… When he comes home all excited By giving all he canFathers seldom say, “I love you”,‘ With a poorly wrapped surprise. To make some secret dream come true‘Though the feeling’s always there. A father says, “I love you” Or follow through a planBut somehow those three little words With his strong, helping hands - A father’s seldom-spoken loveAre the hardest ones to share. With a smile when you’re in trouble - Sounds clearly through the years -And fathers say “I love you” With the way he understands. Sometimes in peals of laughter -In ways that words can’t match - He says, “I love you” haltingly Sometimes through happy tears.With tender bedtime stories - With awkward tenderness Perhaps dads have to speak their loveOr a friendly game of catch! (It’s hard to help a four-year-old In a fashion all their ownYou can see the words "I love you" into a party dress.) Because the love that fathers feelIn a fathers boyish eyes, He speaks his love unselfishly, Is too big for words alone. BASEBALL WORD SEARCH TESTING… TESTING… (Circle the Baseball Terms – Can You Hear Me Now? Any 15 Out of 18 Wins a Prize!) When we lose our hearing sensitivity, the cilla hair cells can never be replaced to restore perfectly normal hearing. Everyone understands that part. Many of you have heard me here in the office say, “You can’t get a dollar out of 99 cents”, but the truth is, we sure want to get all of that 99 cents! That has always been a goal of mine: to provide the very best hearing humanly possible with hearing aids for every customer who comes into my office. But how do you know that we have reached the top level of performance of your hearing aids for you? Let me give you a free “H.I.N.T.” (“Hearing In Noise Test”) This is a good test for us to use after the initial fitting period to see how well you hear and understand words when there is external, interfering noise. To assure you that we have given you the most you can get from your hearing aids, we will simulate noisy HOME PLATE FOUL BALL SHORTSTOP environments such as restaurants, party conversation, MAJOR LEAGUE CATCHER GLOVE construction work or traffic noise and test how you hear CURVE BALL RUNNER STRIKE in these difficult situations. While you have lost some INNING FIELD PINCH HIT hearing, this test will show how much better you do BATTER STADIUM DUGOUT hear with your aids. Take our free H.I.N.T. Call us today! BUNT FENCE THROWFUN FACT: The U.S. military used toilet tissue to camouflage their tanks in Saudi Arabia during ‘Desert Storm’.