The Handcuffs


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It wouldn't be like Mark and Miah to not eventually do a show about handcuffs; so the real question is, who's blindfolded and handcuffed? Also, 4 types of people are discussed, what type are you? Then, common advice given to those with ADHD is put to the test in the UN-Educated Segment.

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The Handcuffs

  1. 1. The Handcuffs
  2. 2. Handcuffs In a world where distractions were long thought the enemy, one man befriends that foe and finds freedom in a shiny object under a rock (makes me wanna head bang) since then, he has embraced the distractions and searches to help others in an epic battle against the norm (I don‟t know how this music makes one head bang, this isn‟t really what I pictured) and now, Distracted with Mark Patey… Mark: Welcome to Distracted, I‟m Mark Patey! Jeremiah: I‟m Miah Johnson Mark: and again…amazingly, a good topic today. It‟s called handcuffs. Your favorite topic Miah. Jeremiah: That‟s good, going a lot of directions here.
  3. 3. Handcuffs Mark: That‟s the next thing you don‟t know about your host. Normally we do what you don‟t know about your host and it‟s something I know about you and something you know about me that we share with the audience. But your reference to handcuffs, I don‟t know that. You would have to share that with me. Jeremiah: I‟m gonna share it. Now you‟re gonna get in trouble with your wife or your kids. Mark: She knows about the handcuffs. And it is not in the bedroom. Unfortunately for Miah. Jeremiah: Got a real one out there. Mark: Don‟t look back there. Jeremiah: Wow we really blew up the mics that time. Mark: Okay. So handcuffs, I had a…this almost to starting off the show… Distracted segment, it‟s kinda something that came up this week that sat on my mind.
  4. 4. Handcuffs Jeremiah: Wait 3 rules. We gotta walk in the program Mark, there are three rules. Mark: We do, you‟re right. We always do the three rules. We do end up adding a lot of listeners between every episodes, so they don‟t know them. But they should go back and listen Miah. Mark: Hey, listeners go back and listen to the past episodes. They‟re much better than this one. Jeremiah: Just like when you‟re starting to watch a TV show, you‟re gonna go back and watch the past episodes Mark: So you can see how our level of insanity has gotten to this level. Jeremiah: That‟s right.
  5. 5. Handcuffs Mark: Okay three rules, We reserve the right to be wrong coz we often are. Jeremiah: We reserve the right to change our minds and opinions. Mark: Yes because stubborn pig headed idiots are always right and stop learning. And we reserve the right to offend everyone equally. Jeremiah: My favorite! Mark: Free speech is practiced here. Actually, the rule is there as a cop out. They‟re all cop outs, everything we‟re gonna say during this half hour… So handcuffs, since our speech isn‟t handcuffed in anyway, we‟re talking about handcuffs… I had a visitor this week in the office, he‟s a, his name I Levi McPherson, he‟s a nice guy. He‟s a local consultant for marketing and putting together social media.
  6. 6. Handcuffs Jeremiah: And a real cool name, Levi McPherson. Mark: Like a book character. Jeremiah: Right. Mark: If the…what‟s that…when you get in trouble, you turn in like a mob box, and they put you in top secret hiding, like if you turn in a drug lord and they are afraid for your life, people you testify… Jeremiah: Witness protection program. Mark: Oh witness protection …my brain is so dumb. Jeremiah: We‟re in trouble…this is something I couldn‟t come up… Mark: If ever I was put in witness protection, I would want my name to be Levi McPherson.
  7. 7. Handcuffs Jeremiah: You look like a Levi McPherson. Mark: Do I? Coz Levi is super red neck, you almost picture a guy missing his teeth out in the woods, but then you put McPherson on it and suddenly it‟s like totally bad A Mama J. So Despite how bad A the name sounds, he‟s actually, a thin handsome looking gentleman. So Levi McPherson brought up a book that he‟s working on. And Levi, get it done man, if you‟re listening to this program, get working on it, coz this is as ADHD as you and I are, and you know what effort it took to get Addicts and Millionaires out on the market. Lots of focus and effort. Jeremiah: Lots of distracted efforts.
  8. 8. Handcuffs
  9. 9. Engagement Crisis Mark: So he‟s writing about an engagement crisis in America. And as he explains the engagement crisis in brief detail – and really it was about 60 seconds – and 60 seconds sunk in because it reminded me of something that I used to do. A lot when I was speaking circuit on rapid business development. And he said “the world is turning in to…” he kinda talked about the US and I‟ve seen it all over – the whole world – that we‟re seeing more spectators instead of participants in life. And in causes. And everything. And even causes – and he can say this – that was kinda the end of his thing, there‟s an engagement crisis and as he talks about it, I kinda made a note: spectators versus participants. And I think, you even see people actively engaged in a cause, that are spectators other than the event itself, and they go home from the event, and they‟re spectators again, they participated for an event and a lot of times it‟s because they like running five case, they don‟t really participate beyond the social gathering. Jeremiah: Right
  10. 10. Four Types of People Mark: And it concerns me that actually does tie in the handcuffs, because when I was on the speaking circuit I talked about 4 different types of people, and a lot of our listeners have heard this before at least heard of the 3 of them, and I‟ve put a 4th one in there, and it goes like this… there‟s the unconsciously incompetent people – which are completely incompetent, unaware, and unaware that they‟re incompetent or unaware that we‟re incompetent coz everyone can be unconsciously incompetent. Jeremiah: Absolutely. Mark: At anytime. Jeremiah: You don‟t even start learning unless you are aware that you‟re unconsciously incompetent.
  11. 11. Unconsciously Incompetent People Mark: That you know, you don‟t know what you don‟t know. And as soon as you recognize “I don‟t know what I don‟t know”, so I have a lot to learn, then there‟s at least the option for progress. So unconsciously incompetent, but unfortunately, the unconsciously incompetent are the ignorant, arrogant, and the first to have the strongest opinion. Because once they‟ve decided they know so much, Jeremiah: You can‟t teach them anything, Mark: And thereby they spend their whole life looking in other people that have been successful and be angry and say, no it‟s because he was lucky, because she was born into this family, or because they have this certain environment or culture they grew up in. Instead of looking at themselves, they look at everybody else‟s fortune and their misfortune instead of recognizing that people may have actually done things or learn things or think differently and have different beliefs and values that resulted in their success.
  12. 12. Unconsciously Incompetent People Jeremiah: Or thinking, “oh I‟m not doing anything” Mark: Right. And I gotta tell you, unconsciously incompetent people, are usually miserable when they look at other people, but with themselves, they‟re very content. They are the kings, the bees knees as grandma would say. Right?
  13. 13. Consciously Incompetent People Mark: Then there‟s the consciously incompetent, and you can‟t stay there. One who‟s consciously incompetent, it‟s frustrating. It‟s painful. Knowing that you don‟t know, knowing that people are doing it better than you, and that it‟s your fault not theirs. Jeremiah: Right. Right. Mark: But you have to progress with that. Once you become consciously incompetent, you have to do something about it or you are forced to live in denial, because the pain‟s too great to stay there. Jeremiah: So the first one, you don‟t have a clue that you don‟t have a clue. The second one, you‟ve got a clue that you don‟t have a clue. Mark: And that‟s your problem. Jeremiah: You know that you don‟t know.
  14. 14. Consciously Competent People Mark: Right. Okay, so the third one, is conscious competence and you‟re doing it right, you‟re doing it right now, you‟re doing it well, because it‟s so much on your mind. You reading the right books, you‟re studying the right philosophies, you‟re engaged in the right kinds of courses and programs or listening to the right talk shows or whatever there is. You are getting there because you are feeding your mind and you are thinking about it. And that‟s conscious competence. And you can find a lot of success there but it‟s so stinking much work. But the thing about that phase is you don‟t stay there forever. It‟s almost like unconscious incompetence, usually people step back to (sorry) conscious incompetence, it‟s painful, so they move forward, or they move back into denial, and become unconsciously incompetent, thinking it‟s everyone else‟s fault. Conscious competence, takes so much work but you finally move in to the last phase which is unconsciously competent. And these are the people that you meet and you look at them then you‟re like “this guy‟s got a Midas touch” and they really think it‟s this personality or trait that everyone looks at and it isn‟t really Midas touch. My twin brother Mike, people would say “yea, that‟s Midas Mike” because if Mike touches a company, it grows, it succeeds and look at Mike, look at his life. Look how tiny he spends in an office and they‟re like “why?” He didn‟t have to actually work in the company he was building he just has to show up and touch it every now and then in the board meeting or a weekly meeting and leave and then it goes nuts. And it‟s because Mike is unconsciously competent, he‟s done it right, he‟s done it right for so long that it‟s innate. That‟s part of who he is.
  15. 15. Consciously Competent People Jeremiah: And that‟s “insert activity here” so example, driving a car. Years ago you introduced me in those concepts and the concept was driving the stick shift right? I mean how many of us know how to drive a stick shift, and even think about it when we drive. Because we‟re so unconsciously competent. But we have to progress through those steps. Mark: Right. And that example is a great example. The point being – or example, you get in the car with dad, you‟ve been watching dad driving a stick shift forever, or drive a car, but stick shifts are a better example and you‟re like dad starts to say “listen son, (or daughter) all you gotta do is push in the clutch, put it in gear, you give it a little gas…” and you‟re like “woah woah woah, dad, I got this, I know how to do this. You‟re so lame. I know how to do this.” And then you finally let out. But then you let out the clutch and you stall it, or you get too much gas and you peal rubber, you panicked and you step on the break and you get to push in the clutch when you stall it, and so you quickly – when you try something, you realize how unconsciously incompetent you were. And you‟ve moved and graduated into that painful time conscious incompetence and you‟re going “okay, dad. How much more gas should I give?” and that‟s what drives me nuts about every armchair quarter back in the planet.
  16. 16. Mistaking Confidence as Arrogance Jeremiah: Excluding us, because we are not. Mark: No, we are lazy boy quarter backs. But they haven‟t tried it. And so they think they‟ve got all these straight knowledge, and all the right answers, and you‟re like, “you know what? You‟re the kid who hasn‟t driven a stick shift yet, you have no idea how much you don‟t know” and for some of us it‟s a little laughable. And your arrogance is amazing. And Miah, your arrogance is amazing. Jeremiah: I get that a lot actually. Mark: That‟s a small distraction. People who are successful, they are so confident, that you often mistake it for arrogance, and I don‟t know how you draw that line. There are people who are flat-all-arrogant and I‟m gonna say some who is arrogant is one that hasn‟t really mounted to anything but still has the over confidence. Then you have somebody that has really done a lot, in whatever area that they chosen, and they‟ve got so much confidence that they almost seem arrogant but in a lot of things in life, you have to have that much confidence, and that has nothing to do with these four types of people that we‟re talking about. Jeremiah: Earned confidence – earned confidence can be perceived as arrogance.
  17. 17. Mistaking Confidence as Arrogance Mark: That‟s right. Especially if someone is looking at that person in a jealous side. They‟ll look the negative of it. Jeremiah: I think I got a lot of shirt better than you. Mark: Which part of the shirt? Just the belly. Okay, so you are humbled enough, you‟ll become consciously incompetent, you‟re now willing to learn, or you give up all together, sadly. And then you move on to consciously competent, and now you‟re getting it done right, coz you‟re thinking about it – you‟re driving down the road, you‟re coming up to a stop light, you come slowing down, everything‟s good, got my blinker on, I‟m ready to make my turn, and why is the car starting to jerk, oh clutch! And you push in the clutch right before the engine stalls, and you‟re like oh yeah. Jeremiah: You‟re senses are alive and alert. Hyper-aware.
  18. 18. Mistaking Confidence as Arrogance Mark: Then finally, it‟s not all that work. It‟s you get in the car, you‟re driving the stick shift, talking on your phone, thinking, texting, nearly killing everyone around you, but you can get into a vehicle and manage all the lame changes, mergers, traffic intersections, shifting, breaking, stopping, turning signals, obeying the laws, while paying attention to your talk radio, and being engaged to what‟s going on in the radio. And you autopilot all the way to work. Mark: So, life is the same way, you have to accept your being unconsciously incompetent, I know I‟m unconsciously incompetent, and I think that‟s probably the greatest strength that you can have in life – is to know you‟re unconsciously incompetent. You don‟t know what you don‟t know so get out there and start learning, be humble enough to obey each sides of every option. Jeremiah: You should all reserve the right to be wrong and reserve your right to change your mind. Mark: Absolutely. I thought those were cop out for the show? Jeremiah: The offend part you should know.
  19. 19. Mistaking Confidence as Arrogance Mark: But here‟s the thing. The reserve the right to offend all people equally, is just recognizing the reality that in the world, everybody has different opinions, and to please everyone is to be nobody. To be the person that says “yeah I think so too”. I had a friend in school that was so insecure and he would say something – anything – and we just test him, even if we totally agreed with him, he would say something “oh did you know that blah blah blah…oh that‟s totally not true blah blah blah” and I would say, “that‟s a good point, you‟re right. I agree.” And he‟s like, “oh come on dude” Jeremiah: Everything you just said, that was just Nacho Libre. Everything you just said were some of your favorites. Everyday.
  20. 20. Importance of Mentors Mark: x-o-x-o. Okay so back to the engagement crisis, we‟ve got spectators instead of participants. Spectators, sadly, become the commentators, and educators in society. The participants in life, are so busy doing things in life that they don‟t have a lot of time to sit aside and be the commentator, the spectator and the armchair quarter back. I wish more business people or athletes or anybody or engineers or pick any trade would take some time to reach out those who has been successful in the field and mentor. Jeremiah: Right. That‟s huge dude. It‟s so big, it‟s so important. You mentored me, and now when I started working with you and when you‟re in the other companies I would, I had no idea about what – you called it growth climate and creating environments so people can grow in it and express ideas and try things and not be afraid and… Mark: But you were easy to bring in, because you were eager to learn. And you were willing to work. Jeremiah: … or naïve. One or the other. Mark: Yes, that could‟ve been too. Jeremiah: And you‟re a good manipulator. I believe in mentors.
  21. 21. The Handcuffs Mark: In all sincerity, when you‟re looking to hire people, I‟ve always said, it‟s not so much what they know, or what their education was – are they willing to work and are they teachable? Because everything else comes. We always said in our first business – it was a construction company – Mike and I started and I was 15 years old. We said, look, if they grew up in a farm, you hire them. Period! Because everything else can be taught. Work ethic, that‟s the tough part. Okay, so can we go back full circle to the handcuffs, I would teach these four principles, these levels of consciousness and competence. Then I would pull people out of the audience, and it didn‟t matter how many people were in the audience and the results were the same all the time, so basically, this was it. I would teach those principles and say let‟s do an exercise, I need volunteers, and people would raise their hands and pull them up. And soon as they get on the stage, I sat them down and okay, I‟m gonna blind fold you, you‟re totally blind, and you can‟t take your blindfold off, and here you go, put this on. Then I sat the next person down and say, I‟m gonna handcuff you, I take out some handcuffs and handcuff them to the chair. Then I have another person there – and I say just sit here and listen to the rules of the game. So there‟s three people – one was blindfolded, one was handcuffed, the other one I said just sit here and enjoy the game. And then I would pull out a whole bunch of cash, and I would go the bank before and get a big brown paper bag and I would say look, it depends on the size of the group Jeremiah: Wait you take out your bottle of blues in.
  22. 22. The Handcuffs Mark: And then I put the cash in the brown paper bag. Right from the deals from the great weekend. And if it was a big group I would really get a lot of money. But if it‟s just like 50 or 100 people I would just get a couple of hundred dollar bills a few 50 dollar bills maybe a dozen 20 dollar bills and then a few hundred dollars and one. It‟s amazing how 2, 3 hundred dollars and ones looks like a lot of cash. But then what I do is say, okay, there‟s one rule to this game, the rule to this game is first person to grab the cash, gets to keep it. And then I‟ll turn to the audience and then I bet you‟re wishing you all raised your hands now. And you know they always got the reaction of the crowd. And then I‟d take a hundred dollar bill, and I‟d go set it on the floor five feet in front of them. And I‟d go around putting a hundred dollar bill sitting on the table of somebody in the audience or on their lap, just sitting on their knee and I‟ll just put it right there. And always somebody will grab the hundred dollar bill and go and stick it in their pocket and instantly pull back out and stick it on their knee or table. And then I‟d do the 50s, I would find clever places, I put one on somebody‟s head in the audience and then the bills got smaller and smaller and smaller than the hundreds and I just shock the ones, raining money! The audience is getting in to it and it‟s just cash all over the place. And to these three people on the stage, I say okay, there‟s only one rule to this game, first person to grab the cash, he‟s to keep it. After I say go, and they‟re just, I mean they‟re ready. And I say, all right, last time I‟m gonna say the rules – first person to grab the cash after I say go gets to keep it. Go. And instantly the person who didn‟t have the handcuffs and blindfolds, off the chair, just darting out grabbing cash everywhere.
  23. 23. The Handcuffs Mark: The person with the chair is handcuffed to „em, is picking up the chair, and running around with the chair, and grabbing money. The person with the blindfold was usually stamping around padding around, and people in the audience were trying to help him “over here! Over here” while the other two were chasing other cash up other aisles and on for the big bills, and ultimately they will get some of the cash. And then they come back the stage and I say, okay listen everybody, we just learned about four types of people. And the whole point was to get engaged in life. And to recognize that to be successful, to grow and to learn, to get somewhere in life, is up to nobody but you. And your willingness to engage. And so we learn about four types of people. We have the consciously competent – and I would say that was the person with no blindfold, no handcuffs, and could just go get it. And who has the most money? And it was always that person. And then we talk about those who are consciously incompetent. Right? And so they can see that they‟re hindered. But they‟re making an effort they‟re trying to go for it and they are handcuffed by their own beliefs or lack of knowledge. But they‟re going for it. It‟s harder. But they‟re going for it. And so, but then you have the blindfolded one, that can‟t see the opportunities right in front of them. And if they don‟t see the opportunity, they can‟t go pursue it. Jeremiah: Blind squirrel always gets a nut.
  24. 24. The Four Types of People Mark: Every blind squirrel gets a nut. Eventually. Okay so now we get this person who‟s blind, and they‟re hardly getting anything out of life coz they‟re blind of what surround them. But there‟s one other thing – we talked about four types of people. There‟s three of them represented here, who‟s the fourth? And they‟re all sitting there quietly and I‟m like, “come on, who‟s the fourth? Who‟s the fourth?” And they still, they never get it and I‟d say, “who was closest to the money?” – the money representing the opportunity. Who was closest? And then half of the audience was going “no way” you could see they‟re starting to get…and I say “what was the only rule to the game? First person to grab the money gets to keep it. Was there any rule that says the person with a hundred dollar bill sitting on his head couldn‟t take it, the person with a hundred on their knee, the 50 dollar bills, the 20 dollar bills scattered, was there any rule that you as an audience could not just take it?” And then I‟d bring up the point that there was always somebody would kinda take it and seriously for fun and to get attention from their peers and I would put that on the back. Look, the problem in life is everyone thinks they‟ll have to be invited up on stage they have to be specifically put in to the game of life to be able to participate. They are all spectators by their own choice. And they think it‟s somebody else‟s fault. And I probably did that little exercise, I mean easily, if they‟d do a hundred times. All over the world… Jeremiah: It‟s a hundred dollars.
  25. 25. The Four Types of People Mark: Well, I get paid pretty well this week. I always thought, you know what if I take 10% of what I get paid to speak in a big conference and throw around the room, and people say lots of nice things about me… Jeremiah: Will you invite me in your next conference? Mark: I‟m not gonna do this exercise. Jeremiah: So for everyone there, if you‟re in a conference with Mark Patey, don‟t give it the clue. Don‟t tell anyone. Just sit there and pretend you don‟t know. Don‟t try to be super smart. Don‟t say I‟m not gonna be here and stay unconsciously incompetent, I‟m going for it.
  26. 26. Lesson in Luck Mark: So, the other thing I did, I always said, there‟s one other thing to this game. In a game of life there will be some kind of level a lot would say, some might say that Mike and I have been lucky in different endeavors and pursuits, I said do, for an exercise and a game of luck, we‟ve all had cash all over the room, you‟re all feeling bad that you missed out on the opportunity to wake up and just grab some cash when I said go. So, I want everyone to look under your chair right now, and fill around for a piece of paper stapled and you know attached under your chair right now. Everybody reach under and as soon as those of you find it, go ahead and stand up and show everybody what you‟ve got. And people are instantly under their chair, and the whole place is a disaster, and people look around, and I just sit and wait until people start to laugh and looking around, there‟s nobody standing up, and I‟m like, wait, nobody‟s got it? Nobody found it? Wait! Wand there‟s people off to the side, getting chairs that are stacked up on the side, and everybody‟s looking for the presumed money. And then at the end I‟m like, okay, there‟s your lesson in luck. It doesn‟t happen. You can‟t bake on it. You cannot bake on that – anyway in life. But yet, so many people do. It just drove me nuts. No matter what country, no matter how smart the group of people, kids, adults, business professionals, whoever it was, those two exercises resulted in the same thing, every time.
  27. 27. The Handcuffs Jeremiah: There‟s a great saying and I don‟t… I don‟t know who said that and I‟m gonna paraphrase, be kind to me coz I‟m, you know… go ahead and bash me on twitter, Facebook, or whatever, the saying is, I‟ve seen opportunity and it‟s just in coverall, have you heard of that? Mark: I‟ve seen opportunity and it looks like hard work in coveralls and gets up in 5 in the morning. I‟ve heard rumors of this 5 in the morning if you speak up. I mean people talk about that a lot, I don‟t believe it. It‟s like trolls in Iceland. Jeremiah: Oh speaking of trolls in Iceland. We‟ve got to go to what you didn‟t know about your host. Mark: Okay what you didn‟t know about your host. What you don‟t know about your host Mr. Jeremiah Johnson, he has a funky left elbow and it creeps me out. Jeremiah: So if you can‟t see it through, the actual speakers that you‟re listening, go to our YouTube channel and go check out my elbow.
  28. 28. The Handcuffs Mark: How long have you known me? Jeremiah: I‟ve known you better than ten years. Mark: Yeah. And there‟s even one trip when you‟re doing 5 cane in every states, and you‟re running 5 Cates, Jeremiah: You‟ve never noticed my creepy elbow. Mark: No not til today but for the show you put it up there and I‟m like, why is your elbow bending backwards? Jeremiah: It‟s because when I was 5 years old, I jumped out of a tree and I thought I was superman I can fly and land on it. Now I was in a town of 200 people. But I grew up in about 10 and so I went to the hospital and waited for about 4 hours before the doctor could see me, and the doctor says “the bones the best as he could”
  29. 29. The Handcuffs Mark: It‟s amazing how they can heal you up with some tape, some old cloth from the sheet bag. So what you didn‟t know about Miah, something that you can see. Jeremiah: So something you don‟t know about Mark Patey, and the visual, okay just close your eyes… Mark: Come on, be nice. Jeremiah: In the early 90‟s, Mark Patey taught hip hop and I can‟t even finish it. Mark Patey taught hip hop dancing in Iceland. Mark: Hey you know what, in my own defense, that was really really cool stuff back then. That was the vanilla ice. Hey I can‟t believe it‟s the end of the show. We got music. Jeremiah: The show with a little bit of dance. We should just stop the music and keep going. We got more to do.
  30. 30. The Handcuffs Mark: Okay music‟s off. We‟ll go a little bit long. It‟s so hard. This isn‟t audible. So yes, I taught hip hop in Iceland, and actually before I did that, I got to do a lot of performing back when hip hop was cool. I was cool when hip hop was cool. And when that kind of hip hop stops being cool, I stopped being cool. So I guess what I‟m saying is I had about 6 to 18 months of my life and that was pretty cool. And it was on Iceland. This is so funny that you bring this up – my wife, was playing old YouTube videos of MC Hammer, just two nights ago, and she told my kids “did you know your dad used to compete in dance and taught dance?” and they‟re like, “what?” and I‟m like, “Suzie, some things you don‟t tell our boys.” I got four boys. And then they made me dance to some old 80‟s hip hop music and I‟m hurting. What hurts? My pride hurts; I‟m no longer cool to my kids. Jeremiah: So one day we‟ll get you to dance hip hop and we‟ll put it on YouTube and we‟re gonna show everyone. Mark: Nope. And there are some things you just don‟t wanna tell your kids like I was tap dancing jazz when I was a little kid. And my wife‟s like “let‟s put our boys in tap dancing jazz” and I was like tap dance is a lost art. Tap dancers will hate me.
  31. 31. Uneducated Segment Mark: So let‟s move on to our uneducated segment, before we end the show it‟s a good segment. Jeremiah: I like it. Mark: I do. I like it too. Uneducated segment of the day. For those who are just tuning in, and a reminder, uneducated segment is about something we learn have been taught, or is still being taught in the world around us that is just flat wrong. And we uneducated you, for your own good. And after you become uneducated, you are now more educated. Jeremiah: Think of that.
  32. 32. Creating a Sterile Environment Mark: If you are high, that would really get your head going for a while. Okay, so uneducated segment for today, this is specifically a tip from experts - multiple experts – lots of experts with multiple letters, usual PhD, blah blah blah, and they all have this great tip – it‟s so common that I‟m forced, we‟re forced to uneducate – that‟s the burden we must bear. So uneducated, we are taught, for those with ADHD, if you wanna get things done, you will create a sterile environment free of distractions to help you focus. Come on! Are you freaking kidding me? First of all, A. Impossible! The distractions are in the mind. Not always but surround us, it‟s our mind that‟s running. Mark: There are triggers around us but you won‟t stop the trigger in your brain. It just happens. This is obviously advised. Creating a sterile environment free from distractions to help you focus. This is obviously written by somebody who does not have ADHD. Obviously. Because it‟s ridiculous, pick and create a sterile environment, and put that one thing in front of you that you need to do, and you won‟t be able to do it. Because your mind is gonna be doing two or three things at a time and that one thing if it‟s not as cool as where your mind‟s going, it will be ignored. If you want to find success in getting something done, you have to create this distractions around you that don‟t take away from what needs to be done. But allows your multitasking mind to do multiple things.
  33. 33. Creating a Sterile Environment Jeremiah: That‟s right and when we discuss this topic, and we talk about a great tool that people with ADHD or people with hard times seem or what ever can use is music. Mark: It‟s beautiful. But you have to know how to use music as a tool. And I haven‟t seen this written or talked about is some seminars and courses. Jeremiah: You and I agree so it‟s true.
  34. 34. Creating a Sterile Environment Mark: That‟s a given. It‟s true. You heard it here. It‟s true and it can‟t be wrong. Or we could be. This is something that we‟ve helped parents and kids with and when I talk about it in seminars and conferences, you see people, their light bulb goes on, and in a group you say – you go speak in front of 200 people right? You‟re gonna have 15 to 20 of those people are ADHD and every time they come up and be like, you so nailed it. That‟s how I found work and they never understood why. So here are the tips. Okay one, a sterile environment is impossible because you can‟t get your mind out of your body. You‟re still stuck with a mind that is not a sterile environment. For my kids, when they‟re doing homework, my ADHD kids, I‟ll tell them pick three homework assignments, not 12, coz they get overwhelmed. I say pick you top 3 put them in front of you as long as they have 3, and they can work with anyone of the three, no priority, they‟ll look at their homework in math, and I don‟t wanna work on that, look at English, if they have History assignment, oh I‟ll work on that one, then when they‟re half way done with it, they go oh I remember that math thing, and they jump over to math, they start working on the math and eventually, they finished math they set it aside and then you put another piece of homework in front of them and you let that mind that likes to jump around, jump around between the three homework assignments, and as far as the sterile environment, music is such a great way to keep other mental distractions from keeping in to your brain.
  35. 35. 2 Types of Music Jeremiah: Yeah it feels that voice right. There‟s kind of 2 types of music, there‟s music where if you need to put your background ADHD mind on control then put on music that‟s familiar to you, that won‟t demand and that won‟t be like the new shiny. If you‟re doing a task where your required focus is at hand, well it‟s not required focus if it‟s required mental focus. Like if you‟re doing an assignment or a spreadsheet or a business proposal, for somebody, and you need your mental focus on that, then what you‟re saying and what we‟ve talked about is make sure the music is what you‟re familiar with, play your ipod music. And the reason for that, is because as soon as you hear a new song you never heard before, your mind may trigger on the lyrics of that song and wander away. Now if it‟s a song you can sing and it can play in the back of your mind over and over and over again, your mid has already run whatever song it can, it‟s not gonna trigger away. So you entertain that multitasking mind with familiar music so your mental horsepower can do it‟s assignment without wandering off. Mark: And then you have your opposite task like cleaning the garage, or the mundane tasks, you can actually have engaging music or engaging background.
  36. 36. 2 Types of Music Jeremiah: Like a great example is if I‟m gonna perform or work some kind of monologue speech, I cannot listen to talk radio. It can‟t be in the background. If someone starts talking politics, even in the office in the background, and I‟m trying to get something done, I‟m out of that. But when I‟m in my garage working on my car, or if I‟m doing something that‟s a minimal task, I‟d love it. That way you don‟t get bored. Mark: So let‟s get some examples, if your mowing the lawn, it requires no mental horsepower, but you get so bored doing it, so don‟t listen to your iPod, you‟re ADHD, don‟t listen to your iPod favorite songs, mowing the lawn coz you will be bored the entire time you‟re mowing the lawn. Listen to some sort of radio channel XM or something that‟s got new songs and engage your mind so you‟re not easily bored. Or talk radio. And then your mind can wander while you do the medial task. Jeremiah: Some audiobook. Mark: And then if it‟s an assignment that requires mental horsepower, as supposed to just physically doing something, then make sure it‟s familiar music so it doesn‟t take your mind away. Did we make that clear? I hope that‟s clear.
  37. 37. 2 Types of Music Jeremiah: That‟s clear. Let‟s test our audience. Mark: Audience, if that‟s clear, I want you to be dead silent. Jeremiah: Crystal clear. Mark: Dude that‟s amazing. Jeremiah: Awesome. Mark: They are so good. We are educators, extraordinary. Jeremiah: Uneducators.
  38. 38. Appropriate Distraction Mark: You have now been uneducated. To create a sterile environment for the ADHD personality is insane. It‟s impossible. Coz our mind is a multitasking machine. It‟s not a sterile environment and you can learn to make that mind a sterile environment, it doesn‟t matter what you do at the stuff around us, but, the tips work. If you‟re gonna do something medial or mundane that is boring for you, listen to something that engages your mind, and if you need to do something that requires you to engage your mind, then make sure there is a distraction to your multitasking brain that‟s familiar and it can even be a movie that you‟ve seen a ton of times. Some would say, you can‟t have an ADHD kid and have a movie on or TV on when they‟re doing their homework. Yes, you can‟t have TV on, and they can have a movie on that they‟ve only seen once or never seen. But if they‟ve seen it a ton of times, you can make them sit and do the homework and be engaged and the movie will entertain the background part of their brain so it doesn‟t wander off thinking about a girlfriend or work or whatever it is. Jeremiah: The appropriate distraction can actually help focus. Embrace the distractions.
  39. 39. Mark: All right. I like that uneducated segment. Jeremiah: That‟s cool. Mark: I hope that helps all of our listeners. You know I think that‟s probably applicable even for those who don‟t have ADHD. Jeremiah: Yeah. I think it‟s good life advice. Good life advice found here on the Distracted program. I feel like time flies, we‟re done. Mark: Maybe if we had some dessert. Or a mountain dew. Jeremiah: Okay everybody thanks so much for joining our show we love you. Mark: It‟s been awesome. Jeremiah: We love all of you.
  40. 40. Mark: You have no idea how good this has been for us. Mark: And their feedback today was amazing. I mean they just quietly listen to everything we said. By the way we did get some feedback from some of our listeners, it said she doesn‟t have ADHD no one in her family does, not and not and not, she likes us for the comedic relief. Jeremiah: That‟s great. I‟m used to being a joke right. Mark: Well that‟s fun. I guess. We‟re not always on the ADHD topic. In fact this entire program wasn‟t really ADHD until the distracted segment that was universally applicable anyway. So please share the program to people who don‟t have ADHD. Everybody deserves to get distracted every now and then. Jeremiah: Some people needs a little you and me in their life.
  41. 41. Mark: All right ladies and gentleman if you wanna call in and have a question in the show call 855-ADDGIFT by leaving a message, you agree that we have the permission to air your voice. Jeremiah: When you leave a message you automatically agree that Mark is number one I‟m like number two. Mark: 1.5. You‟re worth a half. That‟s the end of our show, out again for the last time. Jeremiah: Over and out. Bye! Mark: Difference is not a disorder.