On fire


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A plane crash and how it is related to ADHD. More you didn’t know about your hosts, including Miah’s epic ADHD moment at work at the worst possible time. Also, Mark and Miah take a question from Sergio, a listener call-in concerned about ADHD in social settings. Then in the “Uneducated” segment our hosts take on cluttered desks as a sign of a cluttered mind.

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On fire

  1. 1. On Fire
  2. 2. Welcome to Distracted podcast In a world where distractions were long thought the enemy, one man befriends that foe and finds freedom and a shiny object in Earth rock. Since then he has embraced the distraction and searches to help others in the epic battle against the norm. And now Distracted with Mark Patey. Mark: Hello, Hello welcome to the distracted podcast welcome everybody you know we’re trying to call program not podcast, I could do better than that Jeremiah: Hello, hello welcome to the distracted program chime will splint there too Mark: Yeah it’s… we need to do better, okay so welcome to the distracted program I’m Mark Patey here with Jeremiah: Miah Johnson, Jeremiah Miah whatever anything call me Mark: Miah if your good friend and so there’s three of us that call him Miah Jeremiah: That’s right my wife still calls me Mr. Johnson which is kind of weird
  3. 3. Things to know about the hosts Mark: It’s awkward but one thing you don’t know about Jeremiah is he has a very very beautiful wife. In fact I would say she’s so pretty that people look at you two walking down the street and think to themselves, “wow he must be rich”, that, to open the show what you didn’t know about your host. Jeremiah: Oh that’s nice of you Mark and one thing that you may not know about Mark Patey is he has built a jeep you could call it with six wheel drive steering a six by six fully custom jeep. Six wheel drive steering that was featured in magazines and forums and on ESPN too and all of it. And so Mark is not only a passionate pilot but also just a creator of awesome guy things. Mark: I still have that you know. I’m a little disappointed it’s been like six years since being pulled out of the shops and taken out of the thrill. It’s ready to go. I put new batteries every year because they’re dead and then I don’t use it. And then next year put new batteries and register again. Jeremiah: I bet if you Google Patey six by six, you could still come up with pictures and stories about that awesome vehicle.
  4. 4. Rules of the show Mark: Yeah it’s out there I’m sure, okay so what you didn’t know or didn’t care to know about your host to start the show of to the people who are new to our program we have only three rules on the show. Number one we reserved the right to be wrong. Jeremiah: And we are wrong constantly. Number two we reserve the right to… Mark: Change our minds whenever we figured out that we’re wrong. We also reserve the right to offend and we’re about fairness to all. We reserve the right to offend all people equally. Jeremiah: And frequently, we offend each other. If you’ve been in the studio right now you would be grossly offended. Mark: Yes, there’s no question except I don’t wanna know why. Continuing on… and we have no intention to offend anybody. We just know when you speak your mind and speak freely, someone is gonna get offended usually because they don’t agree with you. We apologize. Jeremiah: We are just cuddly teddy bears of kindness, love and sharp knives.
  5. 5. Rescue mission Mark: Miah I told you to keep the knives out of teddy bears. So that’s sounds horrible. And who was it that you sent it to? Okay that’s not even a true story so the program today. I couldn’t help but think of a rescue we have. Seems like it was not to long ago but it was a few years ago. We had an airplane that called out an emergency and of course search and rescue notified immediately and so my pager goes off and I’m scrumbling and particularly, I’m concerned because I know that an airplane declared an emergency. It was in-flight from - well I won’t need to say where - but it was coming from our local airport for a landing and it declared an emergency. It was on fire and my minds raising because aviation is such a small world and particularly around here. And I’m thinking who is it gonna be. Someone I know? Luckily it wasn’t. But what had happened is the pilot declared the emergency. He said that there were smoke in the cockpit and so he was gonna make an emergency landing. Jeremiah: The small aircraft right?
  6. 6. Emergency Landing Mark: The small aircraft yeah. And the pilot is so lucky and so he look out at his window like many pilots would and he was in a canyon this time bad to have in smoke in the cockpit and to believe you’re on fire and he looks down. He saw the only spot in the canyon that you could land on. One small stretch of flat smooth ground which was a small farmers field. A great place to land an airplane, but a difficult place between those canyon walls and hills to do. Even if you have a perfectly good airplane. But if you think your engines is quitting, and you’re trying to shut it off and shut it down, or if you think you’re on fire, I mean its very tough. He made it to that field but misjudged the landing heading just a little bit and slid off to right side of the field. Hit the wing on the tree, rip the wing off, and plane bursts into flames. Everything was burned into pieces except the engine which departed the airplane as a result of the impact. So the engine sat in perfect condition about thirty yards away from the airplane. Everything else is burned. We have packed up his charcoal remains and bagged him up. And that was a tough thing, especially when you’re sitting and going you still don’t know if is this someone I know or not that I’m putting into a body bag. And the thing that was interesting was one of us looked at the engine and the engine showed no signs of a fire. The fire was a post crash fires result of hitting the trees and ripping the wing off. But we did see what would cause what seem like a fire on the engine. It’s engine buffling it’s a kind of rubber tight material that helps seal air for engine cooling - a turbo hose clamp had come off the exhaust system.
  7. 7. Smoke in the cockpit Mark: and again all of this in perfect condition. Sitting there as if it had been pick off the airplane and set away sterile clean and perfect for examination. It just literally rip off the firewall and so you could see exactly where a hose clamp next to the turbo had come apart. And that hot exhaust gasses were leaking out of the turbo hose clamp on to the engine baffling - which does not burn - but it would smoke like crazy. And so you could see how would have been burning ish or smoking and smoldering and also up there would be the intakes for the pressurization system and intakes for the airplane. So that heavy smoke would have pumped straight into the airplane to pressurize the aircraft. And so that’s what happened. Now for the pilot not knowing that his situation was non emergency smoke in the cockpit typically is and so all signs would say you’re on fire, get on the ground! But the reality was post crash investigation is that he was not on fire. He was just creating a lot of smoke by blowing that hot exhaust gas on a rubberized material. Again it doesn’t burn nor start the plane on fire. And the thing that made me think about the story
  8. 8. Because of Panic Mark: is how it relates to actually our topic and our program here is that he was only two minutes from spanish forks airport. He could have shut up his engine at the altitude of exact and glided to the airport fuel off engine off and just coast it into a safe landing at the perfectly good airport. But because of panic, he choose to land immediately and made the decision that cost him his life. So here’s the thing with ADHD and I’ve seen it often and I’ve seen it in questions we’re getting through Facebook - it’s facebook.com//adhdgift and our phone line which is which is 855addgift - and I’m seeing people that are in panic. Parents that are panic, kids that are panic about their ADHD. This new diagnosis or the conversation I just had with their school teacher. I just don’t know what to do and there in that panic their like that pilot that goes “oh my gosh react now” and it can be so deadly believing that it’s worse than it is. It’s more damaging and will always be more damaging than taking a second and thinking things through and making a more casual decision about your course forward. Jeremiah: A more methodical and more educated
  9. 9. Aircraft emergencies Mark: You know and I had my emergencies you know in my aircraft. I had a few of them in a nature of racing airplanes and pushing them beyond their designed limits, you end up with failures and I may talk about some of those and I will in some future podcast. Jeremiah: And just for clarification. Debbie and I have never been in a plane flying with Mark where we had to declare an emergency landing and firetrucks were chasing us down the runway because there’s smoke at the back of the plane. Mark: Miah she might think that really happened Jeremiah: Not it didn’t happen and at all Mark: It didn’t a year and a half ago on the second of june? Jeremiah: Not at all
  10. 10. Making logical decision Mark: Okay good to know. So here’s the thing. The message and the monologue really is, this for all of our listeners: life is tough. ADHD can be a nightmare. I mean I’ve always said when I speak at conferences, and I really I feel bad and I’ve done our listeners a disservice and I apologize when I’m at conferences, I do a really good job of always finishing up anything. I say or any point by saying you know ADHD - it’s a gift and the curse or if I talk about the challenge of ADHD, I say what a curse and the gift and I’ve done a disservice by not doing that better of this show. But the curse - the greatest curse of the ADHD challenge is believing it’s worse than it is. Being that pilot that has made a decision based of an indicator and it’s a logical decision, people aren’t just stupid. They’re making a logical decision. This pilot made a logical decision. But based on the information they have, they make a quick decision. They make choices and they decide it’s worse than it is and as a result to believing it so bad, they’re devastated, it could cost them their life.
  11. 11. Making logical decision Mark: And in quite literal sense, not just the analogy of the plane crash, but in the quite literal sense, people with ADHD will go all the way to the point of death in many cases. Suicide as a result of severe depression is not uncommon. In fact the one truly almost undeniable outcome of someone diagnosed with ADHD is depression. And that needs to be dealt in a real way. Let us not say everybody but sadly, when you’re told you’re broken and you’re damaged and you have a deficit and disorder, that’s pretty damaging.
  12. 12. Cover of the book sign Jeremiah: And these were all topics that you’ve addressed in your book Addicts and Millionaires. I mean it’s called the gift and curse of ADD/ADHD. Mark: You know you’re right. In the book I very much take in fact the cover of the book has a sign post and it got arrows pointing in two directions. And I want to talk about it just for second because I don’t even talk about it in the book - but the cover of the book, on the left hand side it says distracted and impulsive scattered brain emotional and hyper and these are all arrows pointing to the left kind of the dark side of the book. On the right side of that same sign post are the signs multitasking, spontaneous, creative, enthusiastic, and energetic. And if you look at the cover you would see that distracted is right next to multitasking. Why are we distracted? Distracted bad or are we multi tasking or hyper aware? Hyper aware or multi tasking is good. But it’s almost the exact same thing. Same with impulsive and spontaneous, impulsive is bad. It’s a curse. Spontaneous is good. What it gets how much fun how exciting you know. Scattered brain, that’s bad or creative. It’s good to be creative. You almost have to be scattered brain and so it is a gift and it is a curse are we emotional? Which can bad or we enthusiastic which can be good and have a flair and passion for life or we hyper bad or are we energetic good.
  13. 13. Adhd not a curse Jeremiah: And I think that last one is where a lot of boys - young boys - following today that hyper versus energetic Mark: And it saddens me. It actually breaks my heart because what used to be boys being boys is now a disorder and a dysfunction. That’s not to say ADHD isn’t a curse or can be a curse. But take the good with the bad. Don’t look at the bad and take that one to your grave. It should never be that way. Alright that seem pretty. Some deep stuff. Okay let’s make jokes and be sarcastic and laugh a little. Alright one of our listeners called in to 855addgift and had a question for us and we gonna play that and talk about it. Sergio: Hi Sergio here. Long time listener. Long time fan of both the podcast. I was listening to the distracted podcast and thought about of how people aren’t unable to associate completely and it is awesome that you’re talking about giving people freedom. Maybe there could be an episode about how to deal with actual issues besides just the freedom. Besides releasing them how to make them deal. Help people deal with the association with other people. I don’t know how to say it just like something like distracted too so I kind of see where you’re going with it. but thank you bye.
  14. 14. Number one Program Mark: Alright, Sergio thanks so much for making the call and I thought it was funny Miah because not the call funny ha ha ha, but it was interesting because we got a call in from Sergio who came over from my aviation podcast started listening to distracted and has a question and we appreciate that but then what was really funny is we saw another question from Sergio on facebook that came to us and it was a very similar question infact I didn’t know you even need to read it it’s so similar Jeremiah: That’s not fun at all because didn’t you just read that we are the number one program on ADD/ADHD for a guys name Sergio? Mark: You know I thought that it was just the number one program on ADD/ADHD Jeremiah: On iTunes it is? Mark: On iTunes it is Jeremiah: But also for guys named Sergio that like to download podcast Monday morning between the hours of 9 and 9:23 we are the number one show in that timeslot.
  15. 15. Adhd and social settings Mark: That’s true, So yes Sergio on facebook reached out with similar question and I thought it was a same guy and so I was like “go back and forth” it’s not the same guy. We have two Sergios with the same question one through facebook and one through… Jeremiah: When you got it, you got it. And guys like Sergio I know we got it. Mark: So Sergio and Sergio here are several thoughts on the subject Jeremiah: Subject is ADHD and social settings Mark: And having some impact there. Okay so first of one thing, I found myself struggling with for a long time was I would look at people who were smart and successful. People I admired and look up to and I wanted to be like them. And worst than that Miah, I wanted to be them. And I put on a persona that wasn’t me. One time when I was a guy I kind of look up to and mentored was kind of harsh and craps. And I try to become harsh and craps and it didn’t work for me. That personality didn’t work for me. And then I did it with few peolple in my early age. People I really look up to and I try to be them as if to be them was to be successful and it doesn’t work.
  16. 16. Be yourself Mark: When you’re talking about social settings and Sergio you know 855addgift call in. Sergio you talk about that challenge or in that social setting it almost seemed to me like your shy or quiet in the setting. And that’s not a bad thing. The first piece of advice I can give is be you and figure out who you are. You don’t have to be Mark Patey or Miah Johnson not you want to be for crying out loud. But I tend for my example is to be one that’s kind of opposite of what you talk about. Now as I’ve grown up and kind of got a lot more confidence of who I am or who I think I am. Jeremiah: Okay. The first time I met Mark Patey like after a two minute conversation, when he left I turn on the guy and says to him is this guy for real? I mean his like no dude his always like that I’m like okay is there any more oxygen left in this room? Mark: And I haven’t changed a bit and I still suck the oxygen out of the room. Jeremiah: But the thing is, I thought it was an act right? But it was totally sincere.
  17. 17. Distracted Mind Mark: No. It’s just who I am. I demand all the time in sense of oxygen. No. And for me that works. That’s me and it is what I am who I am. And you need to be that. If you’re the shy type, be the shy type. Its seems to over simplify it but it’s not over simplifying. It’s because you see everybody in life is trying to emulate what they’re trying to be. Or emulates somebody else and instead of spending so much time trying to be like somebody else, spend a little time for you and decide of who you are. I mean certainly you look to others to get your views of what’s working and what isn’t working but be you. So that’s step 1. Step 2 for the ADHDiers, I think is pick 3 things when you’re talking to someone. If you find yourself being distracted in the conversation and social setting, do not go and try to stop the distracted part of your ADHD mind. I’m so frustrated with all the health programs or other podcasts and books that talk about curing the ADHD and learning to focus. And I’m like “stop”, we have the gift and curse of distracted or multi tasking or hyper aware or we, distracted or hyper aware one is bad one is good. It’s a gift and a curse. Why take the gift away and make us focus on one thing? It takes away part of the gift we’re given. So what I do when I’m talking to somebody, I know my minds gonna be on probaly three things, so I make a concious effort to make the three things my mind is distracted on is them. So I let my mind think about what they’re saying and I let my mind wander on maybe the shirt their wearing or I let my mind wander on the third level back on their name and try to remember the name and honestly I’m not very good at that.
  18. 18. Leaning on Equal opposites Jeremiah: And you talk about those techniques. I mean we’ve done a few businesses together Mark. And Mark leans on others to remember names and phone numbers plus you’re just dyslexic and you will always switch knows how you always switch the last two numbers of the phone numbers. Mark: It’s always the last two numbers for me. If I write it down and I call and it’s not personal, I can switch the last two so I am dyslexic. I do struggle with names but I find it eventhough I’ve never become good at names and I’ve relied on equal opposites around me to write down peoples names and numbers and things on the conversation to make sure I follow up. Keep the commitments I made. I lean on equal opposites but the fact that I choose to focus on their name while I’m trying to focus on thier conversation while I’m thinking about the shirt if you allow your mind to do what the ADHD mind does, all surrounded around that person, the curse part of that distracted completely goes away. In fact I would argue it becomes a gift because the person you’re talking to sees that you’re geuinely into them. Now this takes practice. It’s gonna take you thinking about this on regular basis and really a lot of things. We talked about the show you gonna hear it you gonna say that make sense. I’m gonna do that in a week. You’re gonna forget it. I highly suggest everybody listen to the show more than once because if you got something out of one of them, chances are in a few weeks you’re gonna forget it. It might good to go back to it.
  19. 19. Social Situation Jeremiah: Right and I actually have a real role scenario where I had a social situation. Actually a professional social situation. It was ADD curse. There’s no gift at all in the situation. So we had just merged companies - this is the company that Mark and the others had launched and created and we brought in private equity money. And Mark and the others are doing other things now and I’m still there and I love it. It’s fun and we’re actually in merger and acquisition mode so we bring this other companies together now and we hired consultants to come in to help bring the senior management executives teams together. And also they helped create revenue strategies and branding so these are professional consultants that come in. And we did a week long retreat and a CEO who I admire and respect has a lot of history he’s in that meeting with us. We’re all in one table and the consultant were on the table. He said why won’t you tell me who you are? What your title is and what you do for the company? and I just by the way I were saying on the table I was gonna be the last guy. Mark: So you have way too much time to think about that. See an ADHD mind who can come up with a great answer with no thoughts whatsoever in fact while quite often open our mouths and give an answer before someone finishes the question and you’ve been given the whole time.
  20. 20. Weakness in social situations Jeremiah: Now let me go through this. So after everyone talked and explained what they did for the company and their title, this guy this consultant, his job was to play devils advocate and rip him tear him apart. Find the weakness but only to expose the weakness so we can in a helpful way not to be an A hole right? And so here my mind not only thinks “okay what will I do with the company like this like that” I’m thinking like last 8 years of my work with the company and at that time, I was also creating rip bottles in my mind about what I’m gonna say to him when he tries to attack me so it came all the way down around my side. Mark: Your mind literally gone ten directions ten levels deep. Jeremiah: To the point where the second to the last person, I just gave up thinking about it because you know enough there. I fixed the problem I’m on to something else so I stand up my name is Jeremiah Johnson, I start going on this list and I stop it was a pretty long list and I stop and this guy stared at me blinking and he goes I have no clue what you have just said. Mark: Oh Miah that’s half of our listeners
  21. 21. Horrifying social situation Jeremiah: I said “Debbie is that you?” And then I so restated that again from a different angle come out again and goes you know what can you just tell me in ten seconds what in the world you do in this company ready go ten nine eight seven and he count it. You know what I did, I was standing up among these all new executives and senior vice presidents and I was I said nothing Mark, I was so… my mind was in so many different places it was everywhere so it was nowhere and I just sat down and he look at my CEO and goes “I’m very concerned about Jeremiah and you should be too” Mark: Now here’s the thing that really let that sink in for a second “I’m very concerned and you should be too” now listeners, put yourself in that spot and Miah you have to live through that. How truly horrifying. Jeremiah: I was sick to my stomach that whole day I went home I was sick to my stomach I have no value of this company Mark: Now here’s the interesting thing to me in the back store is the most important part. One you we’re there when we came up with the ideas for that company. Took it from virtually nothing and built and pulled few different companies together and took it to the fastest growing strongest business in that whole market space. I mean almost world domination trajectory and you were there and you were key executive VP that made it happen boots on the street with clients that’s one.
  22. 22. Adhd mind Mark: I am argueably one of the most reliable people in the company. And I can say that I was the owner of the company and that’s not low in sunshine. So that’s back story number one - to understand number two - look what happened to ADHD mind in how people percieve it as suppose to what really happened. What really happens in your mind because you have so much knowledge and so much information and so much to give on the subject what’s left with nothing to say not because you had nothing to say not because you had nothing to contribute although that’s how it appeared from the outside but because it was overwhelmed with an abundance of. Jeremiah: “Where do I start?” that’s literally what my court of what I begin with that.
  23. 23. Adhd curse Mark: Now take how quickly how someone treats us and interacts with us especially when your ADHD or not. And one thing we’re learning about our listeners, Miah is how many of our listeners don’t have ADHD? They’re listening for other reasons and so ADHD or not, how quickly we can shut down I mean you know and everybody in the room other than that consultant knew that you’re one of the most valuable people of the company. Truly one of the most valuable people of the company. And in one blink moment that one truly ADHD curse of the moment and abundance of information in your head was percieve as a lack of information in your head. A comment followed up which is the only logical no criticism to the consultant the logical thing he can come up with is “I’m very concerned”. You have this level caliper and pay of individual in this room that just went blank and sat down. He only made the logical assumption but the assumption was wrong and now take this to the class room. Jeremiah: Exactly where I was going, you put nine year old Mark Patey in a classroom and then the teacher said Mark Patey what’s the answer
  24. 24. Learning from social situation Mark: Ahh I have five answers! And actually I was thinking about the third level deep of the fourth answer and more importantly I have questions for you. Yeah so… and take this parents, with your kids the blank stare maybe not because they don’t have anything to say but because there’s so much in their mind that they haven’t given a chance to spit it out or they don’t feel like their safe now some parents you may feel an attack here and you know what? If you’re guilty feeling, attack and make a change. If you’re not guilty, know that someday we’re gonna attack you enough but theres a change, offense is we reserved the right to offend all people equally. Jeremiah: That’s the way to make them tune in next week. We can attack you Mark: You know for your good and ours so Miah I think that’s wonderful. A real case example of gift and curse Jeremiah: I’ve learned anything from that social situation you know what I did learn this and I’m really good at social situation. You know I’m a people person that do will and for me, that was really shocking. It was really really shocking. But I did learn and I thought you know what if I just take a deep breath, just stop, take a deep breath, right? Take that moment to find the runway, don’t put it down in the canyon on the field and so in social situations sometimes because of ADHD, there are unavoidable consequences period.
  25. 25. Adhd moment Mark: And don’t let that hit your self worth. I remember the day that happened you’re in my conversation over lunch you’re like you wouldn’t believe that ADHD moment that I just have. Now interesting that the president the new now president of the company after the acquisitions and everything you know pulled you aside and made it very clear how valuable you are of the company Jeremiah: Mark, he saw how defeated I was. He saw I had my tail between my legs and I was shaking I mean that’s how bad it was. Mark: But here’s the thing listeners, me included and talk to myself here don’t think your alone in this moments. Don’t think that because Miah has reached a certain level of success that his immune or that I or anyone else is immune to these gut check. I’m of no value I’m of no …and it can happen just boom! It’s there it’s instant and it’s so… it’s instantly or that pilot going “I’m on fire” just put the thing down and you’re not alone there and this brings me back to another thing. I’m kind of listening and was starting to get to know our audience and watch grow in very exciting and humbling way… one thing I’ve realized about our audience is they are… it’s a community we need to find Miah a way to bring all of them together because this is a place of people with ADHD to feel like this home. This is my safe harbor, this is where I can find help and support and understanding and ocassionally a laugh right? Ocassionally we not even have content
  26. 26. Community of Adhd Jeremiah: We may get people a reason to listen to us again. Mark: And I hope they feel… and all of you should feel like this. I hope you feel like it’s a community. I’m starting to feel that in the emails and comments, in messages, this a place that you should feel like you’re a part of it and I almost and I want to - not almost - I wanna find something to call the listeners because without so much fans as they are part of the community they’re like we’re all on this crusade. Jeremiah: Why don’t we call them the pedites? Mark: Pedites please no please. Jeremiah: These are bad jokes guys. Mark: No. It’s really bad, occasionally we’ll have a good one. Within a year or two will get one. So the crusaders Miah they’re on a mission, I think we’re on a mission to help people recognize you’re not alone. That happens to everybody. Those painful defeatful moments those ADHD curse moments, they happen. They can happen daily. They can happen several times in one day. That’s okay. Life’s not as bad as it may appear. You’re not on fire. You don’t have to put it down. There is help in a safe harbor within gliding distance. There’s a place to go to get the damage fixed. There’s an airport to land where there’s a mechanic. And this is it I hope. And it’s our commitment that it will be and it will do.
  27. 27. Writing the book Jeremiah: Right and your book is the opening salvo I think in that message. Mark: I tell you Miah, the book was so hard to write because here, I’m interviewing all this millionaires and my business mind wanted to keep coming back on how to be successful in business. The ADHD enterprenuer had to be the next book had to be the book I was writing and I had to keep pulling out those business tidbits for the ADHD’er and pull them out because the book has only one purpose. Addicts and Millionaires has one purpose and that’s to help reprogram peoples minds to accept atleast the posibility that there is a gift that comes with this curse. To accept atleast the posibility that there is some advantages and that they are not broken first and foremost. That they are not broken and it took everything that’s in that book. Every page, every story and example there’s things that were pulled out because it didn’t fit that purpose. They became business for the ADHDier, the first step always is to not believe you’re broken first and foremost it doesn’t matter if they had a cure for ADHD and you have low selfworth as the result to the level it doesn’t matter you can take that pill and be cured but if the low selfworth is there your not gonna find success.
  28. 28. Hero Tribute Jeremiah: So the CEO of job blues speaking at harvard school Dave Nelman who should be a hero tribute to him because his ultimately ADHD/ADD talks about it all the time. And in fact if you listen to our podcast with Dave Nelson, he talks about the story but literally they ask him at that harvard conference about the cure for ADD/ADHD. Mark: Well as I understand the story, he finished his whole speech and open to question and answer and somebody got up and said something along the line “so you know you talk about your ADHD you do know there are medications to cure that” Jeremiah: Oh that’s right and he said “why so I can be like all the rest of you?” Mark: Hero tribute and I love that and the whole point of Addicts and Millionaires was to help people recognized you’re not broken. Because without that, nothing else matters. Nothing we say, nothing we can do they to accept atleast to the posibilty don’t have to accept on face value. And I know it took the whole book I think to get what reprograming needs to be done for a lot of these people. If not everybody with ADHD to reprogram their mind because you can say intellectually, I believed I’m not broken but there’s so much history and baggage and wiring mentally with that diagnosis and with society constant joking and demeaning attitude, there’s so much wiring you can intellectually accept it but it doesn’t matter the still brain program to that self behavior
  29. 29. Join and Help Jeremiah: To cut the emotions and psychological component that comes after the intellectual understanding and then there are the behaviours and constant reminding to where you can affect the emotional and psychological component and damage that have been done by that faults perception of yourself and your selworth that’s slowly over time can endure itself Mark: Crusaders, I mean listeners, please I mean jump on the bandwagon with us we’re kind of singing this song by ourselves out here doing our show and I know there’s a lot of people that are joining in. But there are so many people that are struggling with their ADHD truly painfully. I mean some of these Facebook private messages we get, you can see the tears in the print that is a computer but you can feel it. There’s so much pain that doesn’t have to be there and that reprograming needs to have the message. The messaging needs to change. There has to be the whole full component attached to the gift and curse that is ADHD. A realistic view point …okay so moving on from that any other advice for Sergio and social settings and ADHD?
  30. 30. Tactical things Jeremiah: Ah, you know, if you wanted some real tactical things like Mark and I was talking about before, I’m really good of names and people. Like I remember contacts I’ve had from seven or eight years ago from business dealings when I was at different companies but I didn’t used to be that way. I did have the inside desire to find out ways to learn peoples names and I remember them so I associate them when my mind gets distracted on something about them. I try to associate their name with that one thing and that helps. And remember in social situation and forgetting names is real common for ADHD very common don’t be afraid to ask their name again atleast one more time now three or four more times you got to but atleast one more time don’t be afraid to say I’m totally sorry I spaced your name or I forgot your name my name is Jeremiah whats your name again? And then say it loud two times Becky, Becky.
  31. 31. The why question Mark: Okay another tactical thing one of the chapter in Addicts and Millionaires is called the best question in the world. And it’s that question is why the ADHD brain just loves why it has to connect dots everything even seemingly unrelated things that tries to connect the dots and make their relation is one of the reasons we’re good at certain things. When you’re talking with someone in a social setting and your worried about getting distracted, look for the why in what they’re saying and it will trigger your mind literally trigger that ADHD gift to start spooling in their direction - to the right direction. And even ask them when they bring up something say “what make you decide to do that?” “what brought you to that path or why did you step in to that career?” and as soon as you ask a why kind of a question and your ADHD mind, I promise you, it will come up with it if you will allow it. Ask the why and your mind will latch on to that and drill and drill and drill as long as it will let you and you will be distracted. In fact if anything, they’re gonna go wow this guy is really interested in me and that’s a gift
  32. 32. Uneducated segment Jeremiah: How to pick up chicks in the bar Mark: Ask them why they are there Jeremiah: Did I say chicks in the bar? Mark: You did say chicks in the bar. Goes back to the happy days in the band Jeremiah: Step one play in a band. Step two chicks are picked up Mark: Alright onto uneducated. We missed it on our last show. We haven’t had an uneducated segment even lined up first but we missed it. That’s okay the show finished in our kind of target time frame Jeremiah: We’re doing okay now? Mark: I have no idea because the recording thing is not pointed at me with the time its natures instead of a clock Jeremiah: It feels good though
  33. 33. Cluttered desk a sign of Cluttered mind Mark: Its feels good, okay uneducated for our new listeners uneducated segment is when we take something we’ve learned or been told or taught or indoctrinated into believing that it’s true and we flipped it on its head and uneducate you for your benefit. Today’s uneducated segment is “a cluttered desk is a sign of a clutterd mind.” The cluttered desk is a sign of the cluttered mind, what a bunch of crap. That’s the most ridiculous thing I ever heard and I’ve heard it. And you know, and I have a cluttered desk and I try and what’s funny is I’m actually fairly ocd but if I can get into a project, all ocdness goes away and creativity and the chaos… that is creativity, the chaos that you embraced as an ADHDier spreads all over the desk and the floor and the living room and the counter and now there’s drill bits and saw dust in the living room and I mean… Jeremiah: You take cluttered desk and you insert whatever your pallets is cluttered garage is a sign of cluttered mind that’s assumption right? If your cluttery in your outward things that you’re doing in creating, then you must be cluttering your mind. And Einstein said to that is then what is a sign of an empty desk? Mark: Me Jeremiah: Oh waits my desk is empty right now wait a minute Mark: I love it that’s a great Einstein quote
  34. 34. You need to clutter Jeremiah: Yeah, don’t go to snops.com whenever or trying …you know Facebook he didn’t really say that. That’s just one thing you say in email chain Mark: It doesn’t matter if you said it or not. It’s a great comment, A cluttered desk is not a sign of cluttered mind. Some people are cluttered some people are OC some people get add into a project and the project needs the entire desk and four layers of it that’s just the way it is. And embrace that about yourself and hopefully you’re in an environment you allow that I actually find for my son Cason. He’s one of my ADHDier that he needs to clutter and I’m not saying everybody does. I’m not saying you got to be cluttered but here’s one thing I found with him, in his homework, if you say have you got homework to do? And he says yes I’ve got and there’s gonna be twelve assignments that his laid on and behind me to get done if you try to put all twelve assignments on the desk, he’s overwhelmed. And he does none. And so you try to do what other ADHD books and being organized and coaches try to tell you and that’s focus on one so you clean everything away and you put one assignment . Jeremiah: remove all distractions. Mark: remove all distractions. And now his staring at the one project
  35. 35. Multi tasking brain Mark: You freak out and what happens is that brain, that multi tasking brain, is left to either do the one thing or not do that one thing. And when its got its mind is easily gonna be on it’s three things anyway you got at best the one and three chance that its gonna be doing that homework assignment. And so what we found in embracing ADHD gifts for what it is and not trying to change ADHD but leveraging and magnifying the gifts and managing the curse is we gave him three things. There’s a magic in the number of three with ADHD. I do this in business I always have three businesses that I’m running and as soon as I knew super fun creative distraction comes up here at the TSO, the top secret office, here’s my distraction we’ll get back at Cason’s story people have commented “hey you talked about the top secret office on your show” so it’s not really top secret. And I’m like okay let me explain that the TSO, top secret office it’s location is not top secret, yes, were behind the gate and security and at an airport. It doesn’t matter its not the location that’s top secret. Jeremiah: It’s the fact that winged monkeys purch up on high that subdown by people when they come close.
  36. 36. Tso the secret office Mark: Look they biten you only once and I would appreciate if you turn your back off a little. The TSO when you walk up you see the sign at the top of the stairs as you come into the office area and it says TSO, a place to focus on the best distractions. My distractions have always been my greatest money makers. The thing that I should not be focusing on have been inventions and on the products and business ideas. So what happens at the TSO is where I focused on the distractions. And therein lies are the top secret and so coming back to Cason at the TSO I’ve got always atleast three companies. Now those companies are not located at the TSO. They have their own offices. I have an office in each of those businesses. I’m rarely there. I’m only there if they need me there. Rest of my time is here in TSO where I can focus on the distractions. The distractions are often top secret because it’s a new business. It’s a new business product, it’s a new software technology that you could try to get market before anything else. It’s more about what is done in the TSO in building products and ideas the incubator that is the top secret office.
  37. 37. Not only focus on 1 thing Mark: Coming full circle back to Cason, we put in front of him that magical number of three items. He’s got twelve or fifthteen or who knows how many he should be doing but overwhelms them. You put one he can’t do it, you put three in front of him and you say “hey pick your top three assignments put them out in the table and the desk in front of you spread them all out open all the books and work on whatever you wanna work on” and what happens is his mind then, instead of having the decision “do I do this assignment or not” do these assignment by now has do I do these assignment this assignment or these assignment. And you will see him start to work on math one and get going along a little bit and he’ll get frustrated. Kind of stop and then he will move over to an english assignment and start writing. And then all of a sudden his mind in the background is figuring out and it goes oh oh oh I remember and it jumps back to the Math and finishes the Math problem. Because the creative sub concious was able to work on it while he was able to get distracted with an English assignment, and so embraced that. Find ways to not let it get out of control but embrace it the second you try to make it one thing and one thing only the second you take the full heart the idea from those trying to coach us on ADHD that don’t understand what’s really going on in our heads and try to focus on the one thing. I think you set your self up for disaster because you are now trying to be someone you’re not. You’re now trying to become something you’re not and if anything on this show were trying to help everybody become who they really are and understand it better and embraced it not run from it.
  38. 38. Embrace the clutter Jeremiah: And somehow, that means that cluttered minds or cluttered desk are not a sign of cluttered mind Mark: Absolutely! All of that came full circle with that one statement, Right? So in our uneducated segment that went all over the place and hopefully you gain something out of it is that allow some clutter embrace the clutter that is ADHD. We are uneducating you to the sense that a cluttered mind is not only the sign or cluttered desk is not only not the sign of a cluttered mind but the clutter often should be embraced the TSO a place to focus on the best distractions allow the distractions when time permits. Jeremiah: I was gonna say so I come home in the house and mess I can say Debbie I really appreciate your creative mind Mark: That’s wanna spend sometime with that pretty lady. Jeremiah: Debbie, here’s what were gonna do I’m wanna give you three things you wanna focus on the dishes the bathroom and the laundry you choose Mark: And she’s gonna give you three things to focus on - the couch the floor or the basement. Alright ladies and gentlemen… hey crusaders seriously, join the crusade mentally, emotionally you’re listening for a reason. Just help us out get the message out however you can do it.
  39. 39. Share the program Mark: Yeah share it through social media. Send people emails, talk to people and if you open your mind to the idea that your part of this, your part of something is crazy. And off the wall as a podcast you will see that more people than you ever imagine are struggling in dealing with ADHD. It will come up in your day to day conversations so often it will blow your mind and when those opportunities come up invite them into the club as it were and it sounds cheesy but you know what whether we like it or not that’s kind of what we see happening with this people need a place to go and hopefully as long as were able we can be a place atleast in your ear and occasionally in your hearts once a week or every other week or twice a week Jeremiah: You said something that crazy of the wall as podcast they can let it go because when I think crazy of the wall the first thing that comes to my mind is a podcast
  40. 40. How to share the podcast Mark: Wait you know what amazes me how many people are tuning in to our show and I don’t even know what podcast was before someone told me I should do an aviation podcast back when I first start and I still running so many people don’t know what it is so if your sharing the program with people you might have to grab their smartphone from them and go download the app for them show them where the search is and figure out how to get on it because you just say hey theres a great podacast go get it even text addict people sometimes just don’t get it they just don’t understand so share that as well Miah I think that wraps up our program next weeks program of course it’s gonna be awesome Jeremiah: We gonna try to have the two people we know that are absolutely one is add the other is equal opposite and it will be a very intriguing conversation Mark: Have they agreed to be on the program? Jeremiah: I’ve talked to them the have agreed Mark: Okay so hopefully that will be our next program we even thought about doing many programs in between the longer programs will see how that works
  41. 41. Thanks for listening Jeremiah: And then the mini mini programs will turn the many ones and between the longer ones Mark: We call those shorts. Jeremiah: Okay we call them shorts and then we’ll have briefs Mark: The long ones will be called pants Jeremiah: Briefs I was going to briefs and you are going to pants Mark: And the really short one will be a speedo Jeremiah: Pretty soon will call it a G string and then we call it a commando Mark: That’s really some bad jokes Jeremiah: Well thank you everybody Jeremiah: I have really appreciate the right time to get on that you saying that because you smell good right now Mark: I it was a favor we saw the funk from last week program right? Return the favor with kind loving, Thanks everybody we’ll talk to you next time