Practical Coaching Skills for Managers (DA1067 )9 Traits of Effective Teams (dvd- 41042DVD or cd 10292CD)New Relationship Strategies (14321CD )Assertive Communication (dvd 41104DVD or cd 10173CD )Strength Finder 2.0 (Amazon)Use Discount Code 2316 www.Pryor.com
The Impacts of Conflict Stress,frustration, & anxiety Loss of sleep Strained relationships Grievances and litigation Presenteeism Employee turnover
The Impacts of Conflict Loss of productivity Increased client complaints Absenteeism Sabotage Injury and accidents Disability claims Sick leave
Less stress Balances power More honest relationships Your communication is clearer and more impactful Career advancement
1. Know what you do not like about yourself. This can be a trigger for you with others.2. Be professional, maintain your composure. If you and/or another person are getting upset, attempt to remain calm:• Speak to the person as if the other person is not upset – this can be very effective.• Avoid use of the word “you” – this avoids your appearing to be blaming the person.• Nod your head to assure the person that you heard him/her.• Maintain eye contact with the person.
3. Move the discussion to where others cannot hear.4. Allow the other person time to speak. Do not interrupt the or judge what is being said. Remain open.5. Make sure you are accurately understanding one another. Ask the person to let you repeat without interruption what you heard to determine you are understanding correctly. To understand the person more, ask open-ended questions (Do not use “why” questions –often it puts people on the defensive).
6. Repeat the above step, for the other to determine they are understanding you.Describe your perspective: Avoid “you” statements- use “I” language. Use terms of the present as much as possible. Briefly touch on your feelings.7. Acknowledge what you disagree & agree on. It is very powerful to focus on where you both agree.
8. Discuss the matter on which you disagree, not the nature of the other person. Ask “What can we do fix the problem?” Focus on collaboration and solutions. If the other complains or turns negative, then ask the same question. Focus on actions you both can do. Ask the other person if they will support the action(s). If the person will not, then ask for a “cooling off period”.9. Thank the person for working with you. It takes patience for a person to engage in meaningful conversation during conflict. Acknowledge and thank the other person for their effort.
10. If the situation remains a conflict, then: Conclude if the other person’s behavior violates one of the personnel policies and procedures in the workplace and if it does, then follow the policy’s terms for addressing that violation. Otherwise, consider whether to agree to disagree. Consider seeking a third party to mediate.
Resource for Your ACTion Plan: www.ChangingMinds.org Using Body Language Resource for Your ACTion Plan: Active Listening www.MindTools.com
Bonus Information Less stress Fewer conflicts Effective communication allows for needs to be met Knows how to say “No”
An excessive workloadConcerns about management’s ability tolead the company forward successfullyAnxiety about the future, particular longer-term job, income and retirement securityLack of challenge in their work, withboredom intensifying existing frustrationabout workloadInsufficient recognition for the level ofcontribution and effort provided, andconcerns that pay isn’t commensurate withperformance.
Bonus Information1) Let people make decisions about and control and/or influence their job.2) Allow opportunities or people to express their opinion about workplace policies and procedures. (anonymous)3) Treat people as adults with fairness and consistency.
Bonus Information4) Do not create “rules” for all employees, when just a few people are creating the situation.5) Help people feel like members of the inner circle; each person wants to have the same information as quickly as everyone else.6) Encourage and support people the opportunity to grow and develop.
Bonus Information7) Provide appropriate rewards and recognition so people feel their contribution is valued.8) Ask yourself “What’s your own mindset?”9) Bring humor into the situation- get them laughing.
Acknowledge their expertiseAsk if there may be, if it is a possibility that…could workDo not question authorityDo not threaten the ego
Show Policies, Procedures & LawsExplain it is not personalOffer a set of solutions- allow them to pick/have inputReinforce the “buy-in”Explain what the consequences are of not followingthrough
Book Suggestion:Hot Buttons: How to Resolve Conflict and Cool Everyone Down Amazon.com
Use “I” messages- ExamplesWhen Im....When I....I think that I....I feel that I....My concern is...
When Im shouted at I....When Im sworn at I....When Im pushed around I....When I think Im not being heard I....
Ask yourself the following when preparing your communication: Does this need to be said? Does it need to be said by me? Does it need to be said by me right now? Is this coming from a place of respect & kindness? Will it leave both of us honored & respected.
Deal with conflict in a timely manner Keep information about the conflict confidential Take responsibility for personal change Focus on problem solving
Get in ACTion and Stay in ACTion!Thank you for your time & participation!!!!