Acrolinx userconference2013 writetight(er)

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Write Tight(er)

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Acrolinx userconference2013 writetight(er)

  1. 1. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight (er) Conciseness: What It Means, Why It Makes More Business SenseThan Ever, and How to Achieve It Marcia Riefer Johnston
  2. 2. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston #acroconf2013
  3. 3. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston #acroconf2013 No headline?
  4. 4. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston #acroconf2013 No headline? No bullets?
  5. 5. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston #acroconf2013 No headline? No bullets? No verbiage?
  6. 6. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston #acroconf2013 No headline? No bullets? No verbiage? How concise!
  7. 7. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston #acroconf2013 No headline? No bullets? No verbiage? How concise!
  8. 8. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston
  9. 9. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston “Most often I talk about content as text because text is everywhere … text is different … text is messy as hell.” —Kristina Halvorson Content Strategy for the Web
  10. 10. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston “The number-one complaint I’ve heard from technical publications managers is, ‘Much of my staff is about to retire, and I’m having trouble finding anyone who can write correct grammar and simple, concise, accurate text.’” —Maxwell Hoffmann Intercom magazine, Society forTechnical Communication, Jan. 2013
  11. 11. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Concise means “minimal.”
  12. 12. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Concise means “minimal.” Not short.
  13. 13. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Concise means “minimal.” Not short. “Cut me a short string.”
  14. 14. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Concise means “minimal.” Not short. “Cut me a short string.” Huh?
  15. 15. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Concise means “minimal.” Not short. “Cut me a short string.” Huh?
  16. 16. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Concise means “minimal.” Not short. “Cut me a short string.” Make text (like string) as long as needed. Huh?
  17. 17. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Concise means “minimal.”
  18. 18. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Not robospeak. Concise means “minimal.”
  19. 19. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Not robospeak. Concise means “minimal.”
  20. 20. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Not robospeak. Push button. Concise means “minimal.”
  21. 21. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Not robospeak. Push button. Push the button. Concise means “minimal.”
  22. 22. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Not robospeak. Keep the the. Push button. Push the button. Concise means “minimal.”
  23. 23. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Concise means “minimal.”
  24. 24. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Not gutted for mobile. Concise means “minimal.”
  25. 25. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Not gutted for mobile. Concise means “minimal.”
  26. 26. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Not gutted for mobile. Don’t think, “Smartphone users won’t need that.” Concise means “minimal.”
  27. 27. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Not gutted for mobile. They will. Don’t think, “Smartphone users won’t need that.” Concise means “minimal.”
  28. 28. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Not gutted for mobile. They will. Don’t think, “Smartphone users won’t need that.” Concise means “minimal.”
  29. 29. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Example
  30. 30. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Example
  31. 31. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston No discussion board? Example
  32. 32. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston No discussion board? No calendar? Example
  33. 33. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Concise ≠ Gutted No discussion board? No calendar? Example
  34. 34. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Minimal.
  35. 35. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Minimal. Enough to meet your audiences’ needs
  36. 36. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Minimal. Enough to meet your audiences’ needs Enough to accomplish your purpose
  37. 37. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Minimal. Enough to meet your audiences’ needs Enough to accomplish your purpose No more
  38. 38. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Minimal. Enough to meet your audiences’ needs Enough to accomplish your purpose No more No less
  39. 39. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Conciseness: What It Means, Why It Makes More Business SenseThan Ever, and How to Achieve It
  40. 40. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Conciseness: What It Means, Why It Makes More Business SenseThan Ever, and How to Achieve It Audience needs: “What’s in it for me?”
  41. 41. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Conciseness: What It Means, Why It Makes More Business SenseThan Ever, and How to Achieve It My purpose: Get you here Audience needs: “What’s in it for me?”
  42. 42. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Conciseness: What It Means, Why It Makes More Business SenseThan Ever, and How to Achieve It My purpose: Get you here Audience needs: “What’s in it for me?” No more
  43. 43. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Conciseness: What It Means, Why It Makes More Business SenseThan Ever, and How to Achieve It My purpose: Get you here Audience needs: “What’s in it for me?” No more No less
  44. 44. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Conciseness makes more business sense than ever.
  45. 45. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Small screens Conciseness makes more business sense than ever.
  46. 46. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Small screens Conciseness makes more business sense than ever. Translation costs
  47. 47. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Small screens Conciseness makes more business sense than ever. Translation costs Readability
  48. 48. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Small screens Conciseness makes more business sense than ever. Translation costs Readability Think usability.
  49. 49. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston “But I don’t write for small screens.”
  50. 50. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston “But I don’t write for small screens.” Maybe your readers see this.
  51. 51. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston ... or maybe your readers see this.
  52. 52. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston ... or maybe your readers see this. “Full site” view
  53. 53. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston ... or maybe your readers see this. “Full site” view “Mobile site” view
  54. 54. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston “But I write for print.” This is your toothbrush when it’s new.The blue bristles are blue all the way to their tips. This is your toothbrush when it’s ready to replace.The blue bristles have turned half white.
  55. 55. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Your readers want this.
  56. 56. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Especially if you translate. Philips Sonicare™ toothbrush
  57. 57. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston “But my stuff isn’t translated.”
  58. 58. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston “But my stuff isn’t translated.” Get ready!
  59. 59. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston How much can a word cost?
  60. 60. You may be needing a loan. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston How much can a word cost?
  61. 61. You may be needing a loan. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston How much can a word cost? words6
  62. 62. You may be needing a loan. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston How much can a word cost? words6
  63. 63. You may be needing a loan. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston How much can a word cost? You may need a loan. words6
  64. 64. You may be needing a loan. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston How much can a word cost? You may need a loan. words6 5 words
  65. 65. You may be needing a loan. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston How much can a word cost? You may need a loan. words6 5 words
  66. 66. You may be needing a loan. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston How much can a word cost? You may need a loan. words6 5 words 1 word
  67. 67. You may be needing a loan. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston How much can a word cost? You may need a loan. words6 5 words 1 word
  68. 68. You may be needing a loan. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston How much can a word cost? Translation cost (or savings): You may need a loan. words6 5 words 1 word
  69. 69. You may be needing a loan. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston How much can a word cost? Translation cost (or savings): 1 sentence, 1 language You may need a loan. words6 5 words 1 word
  70. 70. You may be needing a loan. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston How much can a word cost? Translation cost (or savings): 1 sentence, 1 language 10,000 sentences,* 1 language You may need a loan. words6 5 words 1 word
  71. 71. You may be needing a loan. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston How much can a word cost? Translation cost (or savings): * the size of a Harry Potter novel 1 sentence, 1 language 10,000 sentences,* 1 language You may need a loan. words6 5 words 1 word
  72. 72. You may be needing a loan. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston How much can a word cost? Translation cost (or savings): * the size of a Harry Potter novel 1 sentence, 1 language 10,000 sentences,* 1 language You may need a loan. words6 5 words 1 word 10,000 sentences,* 25 languages
  73. 73. You may be needing a loan. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston How much can a word cost? Translation cost (or savings): $ 0.25 * the size of a Harry Potter novel 1 sentence, 1 language 10,000 sentences,* 1 language You may need a loan. words6 5 words 1 word 10,000 sentences,* 25 languages
  74. 74. You may be needing a loan. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston How much can a word cost? Translation cost (or savings): $ 0.25 * the size of a Harry Potter novel 1 sentence, 1 language 10,000 sentences,* 1 language You may need a loan. words6 5 words 1 word 10,000 sentences,* 25 languages
  75. 75. You may be needing a loan. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston How much can a word cost? Translation cost (or savings): $ 0.25 * the size of a Harry Potter novel 1 sentence, 1 language 10,000 sentences,* 1 language $ 2,500.00 You may need a loan. words6 5 words 1 word 10,000 sentences,* 25 languages
  76. 76. You may be needing a loan. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston How much can a word cost? Translation cost (or savings): $ 0.25 * the size of a Harry Potter novel 1 sentence, 1 language 10,000 sentences,* 1 language $ 2,500.00 $ 62,500.00 You may need a loan. words6 5 words 1 word 10,000 sentences,* 25 languages
  77. 77. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston
  78. 78. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston a word? How so?
  79. 79. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston a word? How so? Close enough
  80. 80. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston a word? How so? Close enough Varies with the language
  81. 81. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston a word? How so? Close enough Varies with the language Depends on the translation memory
  82. 82. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston a word? How so? Close enough Varies with the language Depends on the translation memory • unrecognized word
  83. 83. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston a word? How so? Close enough Varies with the language Depends on the translation memory • unrecognized word • fuzzy match
  84. 84. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston a word? How so? Close enough Varies with the language Depends on the translation memory • unrecognized word • fuzzy match • 100% match
  85. 85. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston a word? How so? Close enough Varies with the language Depends on the translation memory • unrecognized word • fuzzy match • 100% match You still pay!
  86. 86. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Whether or not you translate ...
  87. 87. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Whether or not you translate ... Whatever size your page or screen ...
  88. 88. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Dump these words!*
  89. 89. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Dump these words!* *unless you need them
  90. 90. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Dump these words!* weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) *unless you need them
  91. 91. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Dump these words!* weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs) *unless you need them
  92. 92. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Dump these words!* weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs) very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers) *unless you need them
  93. 93. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Dump these words!* weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs) very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers) not, no (& other negative words) *unless you need them
  94. 94. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Dump these words!* weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs) very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers) not, no (& other negative words) the fact that *unless you need them
  95. 95. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Dump these words!* weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs) very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers) not, no (& other negative words) the fact that just *unless you need them
  96. 96. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Dump these words!* weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs) very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers) not, no (& other negative words) the fact that just begin to, start to, try to, tend to, in order to *unless you need them
  97. 97. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Dump these words!* weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs) very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers) not, no (& other negative words) the fact that just begin to, start to, try to, tend to, in order to point in time *unless you need them
  98. 98. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Dump these words!* weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs) very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers) not, no (& other negative words) the fact that just begin to, start to, try to, tend to, in order to point in time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general) *unless you need them
  99. 99. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Dump these words!* weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs) very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers) not, no (& other negative words) the fact that just begin to, start to, try to, tend to, in order to point in time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general) proverbial *unless you need them
  100. 100. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Dump these words!* weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs) very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers) not, no (& other negative words) the fact that just begin to, start to, try to, tend to, in order to point in time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general) proverbial many different, three different *unless you need them
  101. 101. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Dump these words!* weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs) very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers) not, no (& other negative words) the fact that just begin to, start to, try to, tend to, in order to point in time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general) proverbial many different, three different particular *unless you need them
  102. 102. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Dump these words!* weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs) very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers) not, no (& other negative words) the fact that just begin to, start to, try to, tend to, in order to point in time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general) proverbial many different, three different particular verbiage *unless you need them
  103. 103. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Dump these words!* weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs) very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers) not, no (& other negative words) the fact that just begin to, start to, try to, tend to, in order to point in time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general) proverbial many different, three different particular verbiage any other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch *unless you need them
  104. 104. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Dump these words!* weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs) very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers) not, no (& other negative words) the fact that just begin to, start to, try to, tend to, in order to point in time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general) proverbial many different, three different particular verbiage any other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch *unless you need them
  105. 105. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Dump these words!* weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs) very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers) not, no (& other negative words) the fact that just begin to, start to, try to, tend to, in order to point in time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general) proverbial many different, three different particular verbiage any other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch *unless you need them
  106. 106. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Dump these words!* weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs) very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers) not, no (& other negative words) the fact that just begin to, start to, try to, tend to, in order to point in time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general) proverbial many different, three different particular verbiage any other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch *unless you need them
  107. 107. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston See be-verbs.
  108. 108. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston
  109. 109. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston
  110. 110. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston The fix might not be self-evident.
  111. 111. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston The fix might not be self-evident.
  112. 112. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston The fix might not be self-evident. You have to think.
  113. 113. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Another translation example
  114. 114. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Updates are needed to your content. Another translation example
  115. 115. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Updates are needed to your content. Another translation example words6
  116. 116. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Updates are needed to your content. Another translation example words6
  117. 117. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Updates are needed to your content. Another translation example Your content needs updating. words6
  118. 118. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Updates are needed to your content. Another translation example Your content needs updating. words6 4 words
  119. 119. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Updates are needed to your content. Another translation example Your content needs updating. words6 4 words
  120. 120. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Updates are needed to your content. Another translation example Your content needs updating. words6 4 words 2 words
  121. 121. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Updates are needed to your content. Another translation example Your content needs updating. words6 4 words 2 words
  122. 122. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Updates are needed to your content. Another translation example Your content needs updating. words6 4 words 2 words $ 0.501 sentence, 1 language 10,000 sentences, 1 language 10,000 sentences, 25 languages $ 5,000.00 $ 125,000.00 Translation savings:
  123. 123. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Example
  124. 124. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston It’s worth noting that most readers do not want to wade through huge volumes of information to find what they need. Example
  125. 125. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston It’s worth noting that most readers do not want to wade through huge volumes of information to find what they need. Example
  126. 126. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston It’s worth noting that most readers do not want to wade through huge volumes of information to find what they need. Example
  127. 127. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston It’s worth noting that most readers do not want to wade through huge volumes of information to find what they need. Example
  128. 128. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston It’s worth noting that most readers do not want to wade through huge volumes of information to find what they need. Example
  129. 129. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston It’s worth noting that most readers do not want to wade through huge volumes of information to find what they need. Example
  130. 130. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston It’s worth noting that most readers do not want to wade through huge volumes of information to find what they need. Example Nobody wants to wade through volumes.
  131. 131. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston It’s worth noting that most readers do not want to wade through huge volumes of information to find what they need. Example Nobody wants to wade through volumes. 15-word reduction x 10,000 sentences x 25 languages saves ...
  132. 132. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston It’s worth noting that most readers do not want to wade through huge volumes of information to find what they need. Example Nobody wants to wade through volumes. 15-word reduction x 10,000 sentences x 25 languages saves ... $ 937,500.00
  133. 133. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston It’s worth noting that most readers do not want to wade through huge volumes of information to find what they need. Example Nobody wants to wade through volumes. 15-word reduction x 10,000 sentences x 25 languages saves ... A cool mill. $ 937,500.00
  134. 134. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston
  135. 135. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston If only we had an automated text-analysis tool ...
  136. 136. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston This is your toothbrush when it’s new.The blue bristles are blue all the way to their tips. This is your toothbrush when it’s ready to replace.The blue bristles have turned half white.
  137. 137. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston This is your toothbrush when it’s new.The blue bristles are blue all the way to their tips. This is your toothbrush when it’s ready to replace.The blue bristles have turned half white.
  138. 138. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston This is your toothbrush when it’s new.The blue bristles are blue all the way to their tips. This is your toothbrush when it’s ready to replace.The blue bristles have turned half white.
  139. 139. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston This is your toothbrush when it’s new.The blue bristles are blue all the way to their tips. This is your toothbrush when it’s ready to replace.The blue bristles have turned half white. Bet you didn’t miss the headline I deleted.
  140. 140. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston It’s mind-boggling to consider what TIGHTENING that dramatic would do to IMPROVES KEYWORD DENSITY.
  141. 141. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston It’s mind-boggling to consider what TIGHTENING that dramatic would do to IMPROVES KEYWORD DENSITY.
  142. 142. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston It’s mind-boggling to consider what TIGHTENING that dramatic would do to IMPROVES KEYWORD DENSITY.
  143. 143. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston It’s mind-boggling to consider what TIGHTENING that dramatic would do to IMPROVES KEYWORD DENSITY.
  144. 144. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston YOUR WORDS HERE
  145. 145. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Dump these words!* weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are) -ly words (& other vapid adverbs) very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers) not, no (& other negative words) the fact that just begin to, start to, try to, tend to, in order to point in time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general) proverbial many different, three different particular verbiage any other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch *unless you need them
  146. 146. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Story time
  147. 147. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Story time Water dispenser
  148. 148. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Story time Water dispenser Buttons
  149. 149. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Story time Water dispenser Buttons Quick reference
  150. 150. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Looks easy enough.
  151. 151. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Concise = good ... right?
  152. 152. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Ready for a video?
  153. 153. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Ready for a video? (You’ll have to pretend.)
  154. 154. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Hey, Rick, would you bring me a glass of room-temperature water?
  155. 155. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Hey, Rick, would you bring me a glass of room-temperature water? Rick (Smart guy!)
  156. 156. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Hey, Rick, would you bring me a glass of room-temperature water? GlassRick (Smart guy!)
  157. 157. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Hey, Rick, would you bring me a glass of room-temperature water? GlassRick (Smart guy!) Instructions
  158. 158. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Hey, Rick, would you bring me a glass of room-temperature water? GlassRick (Smart guy!) Instructions Button
  159. 159. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Hey, Rick, would you bring me a glass of room-temperature water? GlassRick (Smart guy!) Instructions Button Water
  160. 160. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Hey, Rick, would you bring me a glass of room-temperature water? DumpGlassRick (Smart guy!) Instructions Button Water
  161. 161. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Hey, Rick, would you bring me a glass of room-temperature water? DumpGlassRick (Smart guy!) Instructions Button Water Read again
  162. 162. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Hey, Rick, would you bring me a glass of room-temperature water? DumpGlassRick (Smart guy!) Instructions Button Water Read again Exasperation
  163. 163. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Hey, Rick, would you bring me a glass of room-temperature water? DumpGlassRick (Smart guy!) Instructions Button Water Read again Exasperation Try again
  164. 164. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Hey, Rick, would you bring me a glass of room-temperature water? DumpGlassRick (Smart guy!) Instructions Button Water Read again Exasperation Try again Try again
  165. 165. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Hey, Rick, would you bring me a glass of room-temperature water? Dump again DumpGlassRick (Smart guy!) Instructions Button Water Read again Exasperation Try again Try again
  166. 166. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston Hey, Rick, would you bring me a glass of room-temperature water? Dump again DumpGlassRick (Smart guy!) Instructions Button Water Read again Exasperation Try again Try again Try again
  167. 167. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston
  168. 168. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston
  169. 169. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston If conciseness doesn’t fix it, change what you’re saying.
  170. 170. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston
  171. 171. HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston “Reader-users read differently than their forebears—they readTwitter to find links to long articles that will interest them; they switch between phone calls and the Kindle app. And yes, they watch video, play games, and listen to music. But language still knits it all together, and words have more work to do than they ever did before.” — Paul Ford Foreword to Karen McGrane's Content Strategy for Mobile, 2012

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