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Relationships and Individuation
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Relationships and Individuation

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  • No right or wrong answer.\n\nHow many been in a relationship?\n\n
  • How many ever broken up?\n
  • One of the main questions in therapy: do other people go through this?\n
  • \n
  • You see things in the mirror others don’t\nFixed ideas about self...\nUnlovable because...\n\n
  • They also have their fixed ideas\n
  • Cultural: movies, rom-com, etc.\nDevelopmental: Harville Hendrix\n
  • Clarify terms\n“marriage” ~ long-term relationship\n
  • \n
  • You aren’t the person I married\n
  • Stalemate\n
  • Individuation\n
  • Winnicott: can the other survive my aggression?\n
  • \n
  • \n
  • \n
  • For some, long-term commitment is it\nFor others, serial monogamy\nFor others, don’t ask, don’t tell\nMany different arrangements\n
  • \n
  • \n
  • Transcript

    • 1. It just works.
    • 2. Except when it doesn’t.
    • 3. Am I broken?
    • 4. Tam Lin, A Scottish Ballad
    • 5. We are all monstrous in some way
    • 6. So are our partners
    • 7. Relationships are born of fantasy projections
    • 8. Reality is more complicated
    • 9. “Unfinished business”
    • 10. Resentment
    • 11. Disengagement
    • 12. Marriage is a crucible
    • 13. Crises are inevitable and necessary
    • 14. Seldom or never does amarriage develop into anindividual relationship smoothlyand without crises. There is nobirth of consciousness withoutpain. —C. G. Jung
    • 15. There is no love without hate
    • 16. Marriage is not for everyone
    • 17. Find your own way
    • 18. Photo Credits1: http://flic.kr/p/6eXzZq2: http://flic.kr/p/2VMbfc3: http://flic.kr/p/H2C424: http://flic.kr/p/4s6MUv5: http://flic.kr/p/doDue6: http://flic.kr/p/7nzbbS7: http://flic.kr/p/2ApKi58: http://flic.kr/p/6a6hTd9: http://flic.kr/p/5VUB1r10: http://flic.kr/p/3267511: http://flic.kr/p/QDLpU12: http://flic.kr/p/6qS6yB13: http://flic.kr/p/6HHyRg14: http://flic.kr/p/2nr82h15: http://flic.kr/p/owu3P16: http://flic.kr/p/6rqSs17: http://flic.kr/p/8Ts1X
    • 19. ReferencesGuggenbühl-Craig, A. (1986). Marriage: Dead or alive (M. Stein, Trans.). Dallas, TX: Spring Publications. (Original work published 1977)Jung, C. G. (1983). Marriage as a psychological relationship. In H. Read, M. Fordham, G. Adler, & W. McGuire (Eds.), Aspects of the feminine (R. F. C. Hull, Trans.). Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press. (Original work published 1925)Winnicott, D. W. (1971). Playing and reality. London: Tavistock Publications.