It just works.
Except when it doesn’t.
Am I broken?
Tam Lin, A Scottish Ballad
We are all monstrous in some way
So are our partners
Relationships are born of fantasy projections
Reality is more complicated
“Unfinished business”
Resentment
Disengagement
Marriage is a crucible
Crises are inevitable and necessary
Seldom or never does amarriage develop into anindividual relationship smoothlyand without crises. There is nobirth of cons...
There is no love without hate
Marriage is not for everyone
Find your own way
Photo Credits1: http://flic.kr/p/6eXzZq2: http://flic.kr/p/2VMbfc3: http://flic.kr/p/H2C424: http://flic.kr/p/4s6MUv5: htt...
ReferencesGuggenbühl-Craig, A. (1986). Marriage: Dead or alive (M.   Stein, Trans.). Dallas, TX: Spring Publications. (Ori...
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Relationships and Individuation

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  • No right or wrong answer.\n\nHow many been in a relationship?\n\n
  • How many ever broken up?\n
  • One of the main questions in therapy: do other people go through this?\n
  • \n
  • You see things in the mirror others don’t\nFixed ideas about self...\nUnlovable because...\n\n
  • They also have their fixed ideas\n
  • Cultural: movies, rom-com, etc.\nDevelopmental: Harville Hendrix\n
  • Clarify terms\n“marriage” ~ long-term relationship\n
  • \n
  • You aren’t the person I married\n
  • Stalemate\n
  • Individuation\n
  • Winnicott: can the other survive my aggression?\n
  • \n
  • \n
  • \n
  • For some, long-term commitment is it\nFor others, serial monogamy\nFor others, don’t ask, don’t tell\nMany different arrangements\n
  • \n
  • \n
  • Transcript of "Relationships and Individuation"

    1. 1. It just works.
    2. 2. Except when it doesn’t.
    3. 3. Am I broken?
    4. 4. Tam Lin, A Scottish Ballad
    5. 5. We are all monstrous in some way
    6. 6. So are our partners
    7. 7. Relationships are born of fantasy projections
    8. 8. Reality is more complicated
    9. 9. “Unfinished business”
    10. 10. Resentment
    11. 11. Disengagement
    12. 12. Marriage is a crucible
    13. 13. Crises are inevitable and necessary
    14. 14. Seldom or never does amarriage develop into anindividual relationship smoothlyand without crises. There is nobirth of consciousness withoutpain. —C. G. Jung
    15. 15. There is no love without hate
    16. 16. Marriage is not for everyone
    17. 17. Find your own way
    18. 18. Photo Credits1: http://flic.kr/p/6eXzZq2: http://flic.kr/p/2VMbfc3: http://flic.kr/p/H2C424: http://flic.kr/p/4s6MUv5: http://flic.kr/p/doDue6: http://flic.kr/p/7nzbbS7: http://flic.kr/p/2ApKi58: http://flic.kr/p/6a6hTd9: http://flic.kr/p/5VUB1r10: http://flic.kr/p/3267511: http://flic.kr/p/QDLpU12: http://flic.kr/p/6qS6yB13: http://flic.kr/p/6HHyRg14: http://flic.kr/p/2nr82h15: http://flic.kr/p/owu3P16: http://flic.kr/p/6rqSs17: http://flic.kr/p/8Ts1X
    19. 19. ReferencesGuggenbühl-Craig, A. (1986). Marriage: Dead or alive (M. Stein, Trans.). Dallas, TX: Spring Publications. (Original work published 1977)Jung, C. G. (1983). Marriage as a psychological relationship. In H. Read, M. Fordham, G. Adler, & W. McGuire (Eds.), Aspects of the feminine (R. F. C. Hull, Trans.). Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press. (Original work published 1925)Winnicott, D. W. (1971). Playing and reality. London: Tavistock Publications.

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