Boost your Social and Emotional Intelligence!


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  • you all have some degree of EI or you wouldn't be here(you'd be drooling in the street, begging
  • Evolutionary wiring - safety, security = peopleExperience as physical pain:amygdala highjacktaxing, deadly to productivity, uses oxygen, glucose from blood diverted from other parts of brain inc working memoryimpairs analytic thinking, creative insight, problem solvingcalm the amygdalaname it to tame it
  • We are each other’s biological allieshold hands for women in MRI waiting to get mild shcock, anxiety lessens, if husband, anxiety next to nothingWe have ability to change ourselves sharing our brains wi each other
  • optimism, social support & whether we view stress as oppty or threatpositive mental attitude = brains more effectiveour brains are designed to work better when in positive state than neutral or neg
  • Transition to emotional intelligence at this point – defining it, developing it.
  • Empathy - feeling with, sensing non-verbal emotional signalsAttunement - listening wi full receptivity, attune to personEmpathic accuracy - understanding others' thoughts, feelings & intentionsSocial Cognition - knowing how the social world worksSocial Facility - knowing what others think and intend and interacting wi in smooth waySynchrony - interacting smoothly nonverbalSelf presentation - presenting self effectivelyInfluence - shaping outcomes of social interactionsConcern - caring re others' needs and acting accordingly
  • At SEI event on 7/13/11, this was an exercise in groups of 3s.Thomas can un-mute participants to discuss as a whole (the three webinars will have 10, 30, and 12 people on them)
  • Emotional self-awareness: ability to read one's emotsand recognize their impact while using gut feelings to guide decisions,being aware of emots and their significance, Accurate self assessment - knows strengths & limitsSelf-confidence-sound sense of self-worth and capabilities
  • Emotional self-control-mgs disruptive emots and impulses Transparency-honesty, integrity, trustworthyAdaptability-adapting to changing circumstancesAchievement -drive to improve performance to meet inner standards of excellenceInitiative -readiness to act & seize opptysOptimism-sees upsideregulating emots, honest & trustworthy, flexible & dedicated
  • Could talk about Phillip Zimbardo and shyness –emotional intelligence is a learnable skill, not just the way things areCOULD GO LATER – LEADING TO SALE – TALKING ABOUT LEARNABLE SKILLS
  • At the SEI evening, we then processed with a buddyYou could go to the phones then if people are willing to share:How many were able to identify emotions?How did it feel to speak them (even if alone in an office)To anyone who shares…how does it feel to share?
  • Boost your Social and Emotional Intelligence!

    1. 1. Boost yourSOCIAL & EMOTIONAL Intelligence
    2. 2. Social & Emotional Intelligence Predict Success in LifeValliant study: mature adaptations, abilityto handle frustration, control emotions,and get along with people predictsuccess and happiness later in life
    3. 3. Do you want more…?• Personal Power • Relationship with• Authenticity your Emotions• Stress • Openness to new Management Experiences• Creativity • Memory• Problem-Solving • Humor• Self-Awareness • Good Decision• Immune System Making Strength
    4. 4. But wait, there’s more…• Social Awareness • Understanding• Social Facility • Easy Interactions• Better Rapport • Social Skills• Intimacy• Influence• Empathy• Connection
    5. 5. Today’s Agenda• Understand what Emotional & Social Intelligence entail• Know how to develop the skills to maximize those benefits
    6. 6. Social Pain & Social Fear• Physical pain• Loss of status• Feeling rejected, excluded• Brain equates our social needs with survival
    7. 7. Emotions are Contagious• Brain research: humans are social beings, hard-wired to live and work together• Our emotions alter each others’ brains and physiological responses• Social intelligence is our “interpersonal radar”• Social Brains• Mirror Neurons
    8. 8. Define Social Intelligence• Being smart about relationships• Empathetic• Sensing what others feel and acting effectively based on that• Understanding others’ point of view• Smooth, effective interactions• Acting wisely in human relations
    9. 9. BenefitsOnly 25% of job success is from intelligence and technical skills
    10. 10. Benefits (cont’d) Positivity raisesproductivity by 31%
    11. 11. Benefits (cont’d)Positive salespeople sell 37% more than their negative counterparts
    12. 12. Benefits (cont’d) Doctors diagnose 19% more accurately whenoperating from positivity
    13. 13. Benefits (cont’d) At L’oreal, sales agentsrated high EI sold $91,370more than others, and had 63% less turnover.
    14. 14. Benefits (cont’d) For jobs of medium complexity, top EIperformers are 12X moreproductive than those at the bottom
    15. 15. Social Awareness & Facility• Empathy• Attunement• Empathic Accuracy• Social Cognition• Synchrony• Self presentation• Influence• Concern
    16. 16. Benefits of Social & Emotional Intelligence• Source of energy, information, trust, creativity, an d influence• Improves performance, collaboration with colleagues, and interaction with customers• Best differentiates between star performers and typical employees
    17. 17. Benefits• Awareness of emotions (self and others)• Self-soothing and regulating• Focus• Impusle control• Values and ethical attitudes• Reduced aggression and vviolence• More confidence
    18. 18. Emotional Intelligence• What is it?• What are the benefits?
    19. 19. Emotional Intelligence DefinedSalovy & Mayer (1990):“A form of social intelligence thatinvolves the ability to monitor one’s ownand others’ emotions, to discriminateamong them, and use this info to guideone’s thinking and action.”
    20. 20. Emotional Competence DefinedDaniel Goleman (1990):“The personal and social skills that leadto superior performance in the world ofwork.”
    21. 21. Key Element: Self Awareness• Emotional Self-Awareness• Accurate Self Assessment• Self-Confidence
    22. 22. Key Element: Self Management• Emotional self-control• Transparency• Adaptability• Achievement• Initiative• Optimism
    23. 23. Ability Based Model• Perceiving• Understanding• Using• Managing Emotions
    24. 24. Primary StatesPleasure<----------------------------------->Pain
    25. 25. Five Primary Feelings• Fear• Hurt• Anger• Sadness• Joy
    26. 26. Emotional Intelligence AssessmentCan you recognize five of at least three ofthe following?Today I felt fear when/about…Today I felt hurt when/about…Today I felt anger when/about…Today I felt sadness when/about…Today I felt joy when/about…
    27. 27. If you want a great life…• Career success• Relationship success• Contribution• Well-being• Sense of flourishing …improve your SEI!
    28. 28. More Life PersonalTransformation Experience September 16 – 18 Register at