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03 29 09 Improving Communication By Dealing With Our Differences Part I Keys To Effective Communication Communication Keys For Couples
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03 29 09 Improving Communication By Dealing With Our Differences Part I Keys To Effective Communication Communication Keys For Couples

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03 29 09 Improving Communication By Dealing With Our Differences

03 29 09 Improving Communication By Dealing With Our Differences


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  • 1. West Ridge Church Marriage Ministry
    • “ Can You Hear Me Now?”
    • Communication Keys for Couples
  • 2. III. Dealing With Our Differences
  • 3. III. Dealing With Our Differences
    • Introduction: “Irreconcilable Differences?”
    • The best marriages are generally those that
    • have full alignment in values but differ in core
    • personality temperament .
    • It is not enough to recognize our differences –
    • we must also respond appropriately.
  • 4. III. Dealing With Our Differences
    • Our Natural Response to Differences
  • 5. III. Dealing With Our Differences
    • Our Natural Response to Differences
    • 1. Believe that we are right and they are wrong .
    • 2. At first, we are patient and hope they will change on their own.
  • 6. III. Dealing With Our Differences
    • Our Natural Response to Differences
    • 3. But when they don’t, we attempt to change them through a variety of techniques.
    • -- Joke about it -- Teach or coach
    • -- Shame them -- Nag repeatedly
    • -- Yell about it -- Cry about it
    • -- Shut down/silence
  • 7. III. Dealing With Our Differences
    • 4. Most of these techniques have the unintended
    • result of pushing our spouse away.
    • 5. And over time, this leads to isolation – the very
    • opposite of intimacy.
    • 6. If this pattern is not changed, this behavior
    • ends up in: -- Divorce
    • -- “M & M” Marriage
    • Married and Miserable
  • 8. III. Dealing With Our Differences
    • The Desired Response
  • 9. III. Dealing With Our Differences
    • The Desired Response
    • 1. Recognize that God has not called us
    • to change our spouse -- that’s His job!
    • Because “opposites attract,” we tend to be
    • strong in areas our spouse is weak .
    • Don’t try to change your spouse.
    • Instead, allow God to use them to change me .
  • 10. III. Dealing With Our Differences
    • The Desired Response
    • 2. Accept our spouse as God’s gift to us for
    • helping us grow.
    • Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib
    • he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to
    • the man . The man and his wife were both naked,
    • and they felt no shame. Genesis 2:22,25
  • 11. III. Dealing With Our Differences
    • The Desired Response
    • 2. Accept our spouse as God’s gift to us for
    • helping us grow.
    • Our spouse is our God-given accountability
    • partner!
    • We should be asking:
    • What is God trying to teach me?
  • 12. III. Dealing With Our Differences
    • The Desired Response
    • 3. Learn to embrace these differences .
    • Romans 15:7
    • Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted
    • you , in order to bring praise to God.
  • 13. III. Dealing With Our Differences
    • The Desired Response
    • 3. Learn to embrace these differences .
    • 4. Understand the stages of this process.
  • 14. III. Dealing With Our Differences
    • We are different and….
    • DATING
    • Gee, hadn’t really noticed. Ignore
    • MARRIAGE
    • Yikes!!! Recognize
    • I get it….intellectually. Understand
    • I can live with that…if I must. Tolerate
    • THE WALL
  • 15. III. Dealing With Our Differences
    • We are different and….
    • DATING
    • Gee, hadn’t really noticed. Ignore
    • MARRIAGE
    • Yikes!!! Recognize
    • I get it….intellectually. Understand
    • I can live with that…if I must. Tolerate
    • THE WALL MUST PUSH PAST !!!
  • 16. III. Dealing With Our Differences
    • We are different and….
    • THE WALL
    • I’m okay with that…..really. Accept
    • I’m glad for you. Appreciate
    • I see how that benefits us! Embrace
  • 17. III. Dealing With Our Differences
    • 5. Embracing our differences creates a safe environment in which we can talk.
    • 6. The result is that our spouse feels unconditional acceptance .
    • We reach higher levels of intimacy only as we feel unconditionally accepted.
  • 18.
    • Five Major Keys of Effective Communication
    • 1. Maturing Character
    • 2. Mutual Understanding
    • 3. Unconditional Acceptance
    • Will you accept me as I am?