How To Save Your Marriage


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As someone who was once in a frustrating, painful marriage, I know how it is to feel rejected. I know what it's like to feel fear and anxiety over not knowing what the future holds. I know what it's like to have a spouse who isn't interested in working things out, and is already looking toward "greener pastures".

No matter how difficult things have been going, and no matter how “numb” you may feel about your relationship, there are 3 key decisions you can make to turn your marriage around and recapture the feelings you once shared. The 3 C's of Marriage can overcome ANY obstacle, and save ANY marriage. I'm 100% convinced of that because my wife and I are living proof. We are now approaching our 32nd anniversary, and we're both secure in our relationship.

End feelings of rejection and stop feeling stuck and unsure of what to do. No one is without hope. But most ARE without a plan. Michael Eastwood's 3 reports can set your feet on the right path so you can move forward and regain lost feelings of love and respect. I know ... because the 3 C's helped me.

There is hope - but sometimes we need a little help. "How To Save Your Marriage" may be the help you need.

Published in: Self Improvement
1 Comment
  • How i got my husband back... My name is jessica. I live in Canada, and i got married four months ago.
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How To Save Your Marriage

  1. 1. Quick Note From Michael :My goal has been and always will be helping people that are in situations just like yours.I’ve been there and felt the pain, confusion, and frustration of losing the love andexcitement of my early marriage.The unanswered questions, the what ifs, the belief “if she only understood me” howdifferent things would be … and similar thoughts … kept me up many nights thinkingabout what I could do to avoid the conflicts we kept having. It seems our relationshipgot to the point where we couldn’t talk about anything without getting into anargument over it.During the first 10 years of my marriage my wife began the process of separation 3times, and I did move out once and took a job on the road for 6 months. Many times Ithought divorce was going to be the only option.Thankfully, I was able to restore my relationship and I am now happily married to thelove of my life for thirty one years.Now I want to share that knowledge and help YOU build a healthy and happy marriage.If you know anyone who is currently in the same situation as you please feel free topass this guide along. Share it on Facebook, Email, Forums, etc. Share this whereveryou can to help spread the message and help impact peoples’ lives for the better.Thank You,Michael Eastwood
  2. 2. Overcoming Marriage ProblemsAs hard as it may be to believe when things are at their worst - you really can overcomeany obstacle that’s standing in the way of having a good marriage. My own marriage isliving proof of that!In my own experience I’ve found if you’ll take the following 3 decisions, and adopt themas your own, a successful marriage is inevitable. I believe these 3 principles are thefoundation, and the key, to any good relationship – whether it be a marriagerelationship, a friendship, your role as a parent, or even your relationship with a nextdoor neighbor - adopt these principles and see what happens.The principles are called “The 3 C’s of Marriage”.I was introduced to these about 20 years ago. And they turned my marriage around.What Your Future Can Look Like if You Are Willing to Keep an OpenMind and Alter Your ApproachI’m happy for you!I’m enthused because I know what miracles are about to happen in your life when youapply what I’m about to share with you.Would you like for you and your spouse to really enjoy each others company again?Here are just some of the things which can happen once you’re able to overcome theobstacles that have been standing in your way … you and your spouse can learn to:  Respect each other’s differences  Stop fighting with each other  Agree about money  Enjoy each other’s company  Understand each other  Trust each other  Feel connected with each other  Come to an agreement on parenting, and more!I created 3 free reports to go over things you MUST DO when working with yourpartner to achieve the benefits listed above. You can get the first one HERE.
  3. 3. Briefly, each report covers one of the 3 C’s of marriage. In this introduction you’regetting an overview of all 3. Don’t worry. You’ll learn how to incorporate them intoyour life later. Here, I’m just introducing the principles.The 3 C’s of MarriageThey are: 1. Commitment 2. Communication, and, 3. CompromiseIn that exact order.Does that seem too simplistic? If so, that’s ok. Jesus taught some of the simplest lessonsever recorded, and yet they’re also some of the most profound! Apply each of these 3principles to your marriage and just watch what happens!If you really want to get past the obstacles that have been sabotaging your marriagefollow this simple step-by-step action plan to make them a thing of the past. These are 3proven and time tested tips that will show you how to have a happy and fulfillingmarriage.#1) Commitment – a solid commitment by itself gets you over 50% thereWhen a person lacks commitment it means they can only be relied upon when thingsare going well. And that’s just not life on this planet earth. I don’t care who you are –you will have obstacles and you will have challenges. Marriage is just one of many areasin which they occur.A solid commitment is HUGE because it locks your mind in on finding a way no matterwhat! Once that’s your attitude your mind starts looking for and expecting solutions.Is that what you’ve been experiencing so far? If so that’s great! It means you’re alreadymuch closer than you thought. Your commitment alone means you’re over half waythere! If not, you can learn how to make that commitment and what’s involved.
  4. 4. #2) Communication – the starting point of mutual understandingWho doesn’t want to be understood? And what’s more frustrating than feeling you’rebeing wrongly accused, no matter how hard you try to explain yourself?In communication it’s important to have ground rules. If a husband and wife can agreeto respect each other and take turns l-i-s-t-e-n-i-n-g it’s amazing what can happen. Goodlistening is rare. It requires shutting out your own thoughts and focusing in on what yourpartner is saying.What’s the alternative?By default we simply assume things, misinterpret each another, and make accusations.#3) Compromise – if one person always wins that means their partner is a loser(because he or she always loses) Is that what we want?Think about it. We may want things to go our way but what are the odds we’re alwaysright?Yet that’s how we act when all we do is fight. We become hell bent on the other personknowing we’re right, and they’re wrong. With a power struggle like that, is it anywonder this kind of marriage is in trouble? No give and take?Putting It All TogetherThose are the 3 steps you must take if you want your relationship back. Follow each ofthem and you are guaranteed to resolve the problems which seem so insurmountableright now. This is not a magic formula but it’s close.As I mentioned earlier, the upcoming free reports share the 3 things you MUST DO toensure success in your marriage. If you want your marriage to leave you feeling -  loved, and,  respectedthis is an excellent resource for you. And it’s the next chapter!
  5. 5. CommitmentThe First Key Decision That Can Overcome Any Obstacle and Save Any Marriage By Michael Eastwood
  6. 6. There are 3 Vital Decisions (Steps) to Restoring a Marriage – the First ofWhich is to Make A Solid CommitmentThe first step to healing a broken marriage is to resolve that no matter what it takes(short of infidelity or physical abuse*) – you are going to fix whatever is broken. In otherwords you’re going to make a solid commitment to your marriage.Without a solid commitment to work things out the chances of it happening are slim.With a commitment it’s almost inevitable.Trying to heal a marriage where both parties have been wounded can be one of themost difficult things you’ll ever do. Being in a hard relationship is certainly no walk in thepark. And depending on the amount of pain inflicted healing can be a slow process. It’sa process that takes time. Which is why it requires a commitment.But is it worth it?What are the Options?What happens if you don’t make a commitment? (A commitment means no matterwhat you’re going to see this through)Well there are really only so many options … 1. Divorce – you just give up. 2. Separation – you get ready to give up. 3. You give all the blame to your spouse and become a victim. 4. Get counseling – you work on things and try to make them better. 5. You stay in the marriage but divorce yourself emotionally from it.While you may be able to think of more, the above are the most likely outcomes. Buthere’s what won’t happen. Things won’t just magically get better.*[NOTE: Infidelity, although painful, can be healed. If your spouse was unfaithful and you’re struggling with how to deal with ityou might try going here to get ideas from someone who specializes in that area. For physical abuse my advice is to get to a safelocation – TODAY – and then seek professional help in your area. ]
  7. 7. The “Ugly Side” of DivorceI remember when, after 10 years of marriage I went to an attorney to get the details ofwhat was involved in a legal separation. I wasn’t quite ready to ask about a divorce, notyet. So I was asking about a legal separation.That visit was a real eye opener. What I learned was how intertwined my wife’s and mylives had become. When you visit a divorce attorney – even if it’s only to inquire about alegal separation - for the first time you start understanding the reality of what you’reabout to do. And believe me it has a sobering effect on how you think.What you realize is everything you’ve worked so hard for, and poured yourself into, is a50-50 deal. You don’t own anything yourself.We had joint checking and savings accounts, we filed our taxes jointly, our names wereboth on the titles of our cars, our house … our possessions had been purchased or givento us from so many different sources … we were both involved in varying degrees withour children’s school life. Our children needed us as parents and one of us would haveto move – it just goes on and on. When the Bible says “they two shall become one flesh”it’s literally true in so many ways.Divorce un-builds and un-does what took years to nurture.Commitments Change EverythingTo succeed doing anything in life takes sacrifice and hard work. But it has it’s rewards.The determination not to be swayed by the highs and lows of a relationship builds innerstrength and integrity (which causes you to have a feeling of confidence in yourself), notto mention the ability to see beyond your personal unhappiness.Here is a famous quote by Calvin Coolidge, our country’s 30th president:“Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is morecommon than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius isalmost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistenceand determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan Press On has solved and alwayswill solve the problems of the human race.”
  8. 8. Do you see the parallels here?Persistence, determination, and commitment are flip sides of the same coin. This meansthe same qualities Calvin Coolidge said will “always solve the problems of the humanrace” will surely aid you in solving your relationship problems – no matter how painful,no matter how big.Reasons Not to Give UpHappily married couples say they’ve learned to accept each other’s strength andpossibilities. They make the case that by doing so they transform themselves from theordinary to the extraordinary.That’s what’s so rewarding about making things work out. My wife and I wouldn’t tradeanything for the people we’ve become in the process. There is a quiet confidence wehave in each other’s commitment. It’s a good, safe feeling to know that she accepts me,even with all my faults. And I’ve learned to accept her. There’s a trust between us Iwouldn’t trade for anything.Putting It All TogetherI’m 100% convinced my marriage wouldn’t have lasted without the commitment mywife and I each made individually to God, and to each other. On our wedding day weexchanged vows – promises of what we would do for each other – before God, beforefamily, and before all our friends. Those vows (commitments) we made prevented usfrom getting divorced – in spite of how many times I desperately wanted to.Underlying everything was the fact I really did love my wife, and I believed she lovedme. Our problem was we didn’t know how to resolve our conflicts. And because wedidn’t they just got worse and worse.Which leads to the next step you need to take … the next principle that can turn yourlife and your marriage completely around. And that’s the topic of my next article.Communication.As I mentioned earlier, I recommend that you read each of my reports so you don’tmiss even one of the 3 things you MUST DO when you need to turn things around withyour special someone in order to ensure success.
  9. 9. It provides in depth information about how to properly communicate with your spouseso that he or she will want to work things out with you. It’s an excellent resource forsomeone who is looking to take the next step and patch up their relationship.For more information click here to read the report.Thank youMichael Eastwood
  10. 10. CommunicationThe Second Key Decision That Can Overcome Any Obstacle and Save Any Marriage By Michael Eastwood
  11. 11. There are 3 Vital Decisions (Steps) to Restoring a Marriage – the Second of Which is to Become a Skilled CommunicatorThe second step to healing a broken marriage is to resolve to become a skilledcommunicator, and it really isn’t that hard. It just takes a willingness to learn andpractice. But the rewards are absolutely astounding!  Feeling understood by your spouse  Feeling more loved, respected, and accepted  Being treated like your thoughts and ideas have value  Having someone you can confide in  Builds greater trust between you  Enables you to learn how to resolve differences  Seeing sides of each other you’d never seen before  Understanding how your actions affect your partnerThe list could go on and on.Does communication take work? Yes.Are there rewards? Yes.Is it worth it?You be the judge. But put it this way … wouldn’t it feel great to know you cared enoughabout each other to allow open and free expression?In-depth advice about a step by step alternative when marriage counseling isn’t anoption is available at MarriageSherpa (read more Here)An Epidemic of MisunderstandingIf you lack communication skills don’t worry – you’re not alone. Most people are lousycommunicators.One reason is most of us grew up without having it being modeled.
  12. 12. Another is because communication requires commitment (remember foundationprinciple #1?). And it requires maturity. It also requires patience. Plus honesty. Plus acertain level of vulnerability, trust, and security. See why it’s not very common?Opening the Lines of Communication In order for any relationship to be successful, there must be consistent good communication. Although this is true for any relationship, it’s most essential in marriage. In nearly every marriage which has begun to deteriorate, lack of communication is one of the main factors.One of the best ways to resolve this problem is to go back to the very beginning-- yourbeginning! Was lack of communication a problem all along, or was it something thatstarted later?For far too many couples, lack of communication was a problem from the start. If youand your spouse fall into this category, it is essential that you come to terms with thisproblem so you can work on resolving it. Some people have had a lack ofcommunication because of a naïve belief that “love would conquer all,” and thereforedid not recognize the need to discuss important issues; others began their relationship,and even entered into marriage, feeling unable to voice their thoughts, feelings,preferences, beliefs, so they just “went along with” their partners on everything.Guess what? That doesn’t work.(Don’t forget report #3 – Learning to Compromise )Because for people in these categories, the time usually comes when they’re no longercontent to simply “go with the flow,” and find that major differences and disagreementsoccur when they attempt to assert themselves. They may find that their spouse wishesto remain in charge; or, they may find that they and their spouse disagree on significantissues.
  13. 13. In either case, opening the lines of communication is the first, essential step in assertingoneself and in beginning to reach agreements. You will find that there will be a numberof instances in which you and your spouse must “agree to disagree.”This is where maturity comes in. It takes an emotionally mature person to accept asituation that requires them to patiently allow things to be different than they believe itshould be. Especially when it happens in areas you both have deep feelings about.More on that in a moment.For many other couples, however, communication was a present factor in thebeginning, but somehow managed to deteriorate over time. Lack of time with eachother due to family and work responsibilities often account for many of these instances.Sometimes, also, a persons priorities shift-- while the marital relationship was once apersons number-one focus, other factors in his or her life led the marriage to takesecond-place, somehow not seeming as important as it was at the beginning.In these instances, reassessing priorities is the main key to reestablishing goodcommunication. It is necessary to give your marriage the time and attention it needsand deserves-- and to give your spouse the time and attention which he or she needsand deserves.There are other instances in which people simply lack good communication skills. If thisappears to describe you or your spouse, take heart-- good communication skills can belearned. Even if you are nonassertive, or do not know how to communicate effectively,it is a skill which you can learn-- by practice and experience.Whichever of these categories describes you and your spouse, recognizing thefoundation of the problem is the first step in resolving it.What Does Good Communication Look Like?What is good communication? When you and your spouse can talk with each otherabout all important subjects and even subjects which have no serious implications at all;when you can freely share what you think, feel, believe, want, like and dislike; whenyou can state your stand on important issues and listen to your spouses, with mutual
  14. 14. respect even when there are matters of disagreement; you can have good, effectivecommunication.Good communication comes from practice, experience, respect and the time which youare willing to put into it!More About Emotional MaturityI made the comment above that because of differences we sometimes will findourselves in the position of “agreeing to disagree”.Unfortunately, for marriages that are in trouble husbands and wives rarely have thewillingness to make those kinds of agreements and “go with the flow”. Instead whathappens is they engage in power struggles, where one wins and the other loses.As you can see, a large element of the “3 Key Decisions That Can Overcome AnyProblem And Save Any Marriage” plan is self-control. You need to control youremotions. You need to recognize and make a serious effort to minimize emotional andbehavioral problems. You need to listen, and above all, you need to be patient. It’s whatmature adults do.It’s a challenge but you have a great incentive – your marriage and family if you havechildren.Emotional maturity is a hallmark of the 3rd C of marriage … Compromise. With a firmfoundation of commitment, open channels of communication for understanding, thefinal piece is learning to Compromise. That’s in my 3rd report here.Thank YouMichael Eastwoodp.s. Get your 3rd report – on Compromise - for overcoming obstacles. You’ve come thisfar … don’t miss this last key report on how to resolve your differences. It’s still FREE.Get it here!p.p.s. For a complete, in-depth plan to learn discipline and control in marriage, considerchecking out “MarriageSherpa – Find The Love Again”. It provides all the steps you
  15. 15. must take to get your marriage back on track, the common problems you run into, and itwill teach you the steps, tools, techniques, and strategies you’ll need along the way.It goes into looking critically at yourself which can be a difficult process. However, it isan essential part of the process. It will help you emerge with renewed confidence inyourself and your ability to change. This will definitely multiply the chances of yoursuccess. You can get more information by clicking here.
  16. 16. CompromiseThe Third Key Decision That Can Overcome Any Obstacle and Save Any Marriage By Michael Eastwood
  17. 17. Dealing With Differences vs. Power StrugglesWhich picture accurately depicts your marriage? The happy, CompromisingCouple on the cover page? or, the “I Win / You Lose” couple above?Q. Which do you want it to be?NOTE: Like this ebook? For more valuable marriage tips check out look my freenewsletter. I promise it has actionable content and if you don’t like it you can cancel atany time.Everyone Is DifferentEach person is an individual; and, as such, no two people can reasonably be expected toagree on everything. Being able to recognize this as a fact-of-life is one of the mostimportant signs of maturity. It is also the first step in learning how to effectively resolvedifferences.
  18. 18. If you think about it, you probably know a lot of people who don’t have that level ofmaturity. Even though it affects every area of life, it can quickly spell “disaster” in amarriage! You may know someone who, due to flaws in his or her upbringing, alwayshas to “have his own way.” It may be someone who always had and did whatever hewanted as a child, causing him to become older without growing up, still believing he’sentitled to get whatever he wants.It may be someone who had to fight for everything that he had, and even as an adultinterprets differences as a threat to “his rights.” Or it may be someone who wasspoiled, with “his way” never being challenged by anyone. While such a person canlearn how to respectfully acknowledge differences, and learn how to compromise, it alldepends on the willingness of that person.Power or Co-operation?Fortunately, difficulties in a marriage are not always to such an extreme. Perhaps youand your spouse did not fully acknowledge your differences in the early stages of yourrelationship; or perhaps you felt that time and love would solve the problem. Does this look like a mature way of resolving problems?
  19. 19. While effective communication is essential in resolving any type of problem, respect foreach others differences and the motivation to reach a solution are also necessary.As differences come about primarily from a persons background and upbringing, therecan be many or few, minor or serious. But whether the subject is a matter of a minordisagreement or something of a very serious nature, getting the hang of resolvingdifferences before they become matters of confrontation is the most important factor.In other words, what the issue is, is not nearly as relevant as what you do about it.Whether you and your spouse are disagreeing on something as tiny as where to hangyour towels in the bathroom, or something of large proportion such as whether or notyour sixteen-year-old is ready to get a drivers license. Learning how to resolvedifferences is the deciding factor between reaching a conclusion both spouses can livewith - or – giving in to a power-struggle which requires that one party wins and theother one loses.The fact of the matter is that in a marital relationship, if differences are settled bypower-struggles, everyone loses.Two Better WaysIf power struggles have become a problem in your marriage, you may be wonderinghow not being in a struggle can work.There are two basic manners in which differences can be resolved-- by compromise, orby “agreeing to disagree.”In most cases, you will find that compromise is indeed the best solution. This way, aconclusion is reached which both persons can be relatively comfortable with. In someinstances, however, agreeing to disagree is the only viable solution. The reason why it ismost beneficial is that it eliminates power struggles and promotes respect betweenboth people. This was the most common route my wife and I took until we developedour communication skills.Although many people fail to grasp this fact, mainly due to their upbringing or populartrends, “fighting” is most definitely not an unavoidable, par-for-the-course part of any
  20. 20. relationship, including marriage. The fact of the matter is that most arguments can bestopped in their tracks by setting yourself to the task of learning effectivecommunication and how to resolve your differences through compromise and agreeingto disagree.It is simply not necessary for any disagreement to escalate into a “fight”-- nor is ithealthy! It causes more problems than were there to begin with, and diminishes therespect between the two individuals. Learning how to resolve differences is not onlyessential-- it is also possible!In wrapping up these 3 reports I hope you can see that Commitment – Communication –and Compromise are not only possible, but are the keys to making a difference in yourmarriage. Master these 3 principles and anything, (if your experience is like mine) thenanything is possible.God bless. I wish you and yours all the best in life.Michael Eastwoodp.s. Last chance to secure my newsletter. It begins with a look at the power of habits inour relationships – and how we begin to fight with our spouses on autopilot, withoutany thought - like Pavlov’s dog! Want to stop fighting with your spouse? Check it out!