If You Didnt Bring Jerky, What Did I
Just Eat: Misadventures in Hunting,
Fishing, and the Wilds of Suburbia by
Bill Heavey
Great Service
For nearly a decade, Bill Heavey, an outdoorsman marooned in suburbia,
has written the “Sportsman’s Life” column on the back page of Field &
Stream, where he does for hunting and fishing what David Feherty does
for golf and Lewis Grizzard did for the South. His work is adored by
readers—one proclaims him “the greatest sportswriter who has ever
walked the planet”—and his peers have recognized his work with three
prestigious National Magazine Award nominations. If You Didn’t Bring
Jerky, What Did I Just Eat? is the first collection of Heavey’s hilarious
observations on life as an enthusiastic (but often hapless) outdoorsman.
Whether he’s hunting cougars in the southwest desert, scheming to make
his five-year-old daughter fall in love with fishing, or chronicling his father’s
slow decline through the lens of the numerous dogs he’s owned over
seventy-five years, Heavey is a master at blending humor and pathos—
and wide-ranging outdoor enthusiasms—into a poignant and potent stew.
Funny, warmhearted, and supremely entertaining, this book is an
uproarious addition to the literature of the outdoors. The paperback edition
features two new pieces.
Personal Review: If You Didnt Bring Jerky, What Did I Just Eat:
Misadventures in Hunting, Fishing, and the Wilds of Suburbia by
Bill Heavey
Great collection of stories that I would recommend to any avid
outdoorsman and as a good gift to the same. You will laugh out loud
multiple times and still have a couple moments that pull on your
heartstrings. A great mind and a dry wit are why folks turn the back of
Field & Stream first.
As an example, if you like this snippet from "The Cuban Classic", you'll be
happy:
"It's crazy-good video-game fishing, the flat-out most sustained largemouth
action I've ever had. After about 10 minutes of this, Samuel stows his rod.
'No good here,' he says. I ignore him, cast again, and ask if he'd mind

explaining just what the Sam Hill he's talking about. 'Place like this, you
can wear your arm out. But you can't win a tournament.'
"What I ask, would it take to win?
"'Here? You need an average of 5 pounds each fish to be competitive. To
win, it usually takes an average of 6 pounds, maybe a little more.' I look at
him. He's smiling but he's not kidding.
"We need to invade this country."
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