Unerdwear Research Sheet 2013


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At Unerdwear we are exceptionally metrics-driven. Being data nerds at heart, we could not imagine launching a new developer product without making sure we have a set of clearly defined performance indicators and that we measure everything. It has been our top priority that upon release our proprietary softwear is thoroughly tested--both in terms of usability, security and its overall performance.

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Unerdwear Research Sheet 2013

  1. 1. Unerdwear Research SheetSpring 2013 Findings
  2. 2. At Unerdwear we are exceptionally metrics-driven. Beingdata nerds at heart, we could not imagine launching a newdeveloper product without making sure we have a set ofclearly defined performance indicators and that we measureeverything. It has been our top priority that upon release ourproprietary softwear is thoroughly tested--both in terms ofusability, security and its overall performance.
  3. 3. We have designed and conducted a 3-month-long undercoverresearch on a group of carefully pre-selected 256 fake stockphoto nerds, one authentic stock photo dinosaur and oneauthentic stock photo fake stock photo nerd’s cat. We havechosen 256 nerds as our sample size not only because it’s2 to the power of 8 and a perfect square--which is so freakingcool already--but also because we’ve seen it so many timesbefore it just kind of made sense. 200 (constituting 78.125%of that group) were fake stock photo nerdy men, while 56(21.875% accordingly) of the interviewed sample group werefake stock photo nerdy women. Yes, we did include the catand the dinosaur in the research for no particular reason andwe do want to make transparent that what we’ve learned fromthem was a representation of a fairly limited data set andmight not be of sufficient statistical significance.
  4. 4. The research method applied was a sophisticated patent-pending variation of A/B testing which focuses heavily onsubjectively reported perceived change over time. We definedstate “A” as “Before” and state “B” as “After” which reallymade no sense and caused some confusion as of which state(B=After or A=Before) study participants were referring to...Luckily, among the 256+2 study participants we did includea placebo group of people who were unknowingly NOTwearing Unerdwear during the time of research. And placebogroups are believed to always make research findings moreconclusive.
  5. 5. We have targeted our research to get hard data on thecorrelations between wearing Unerdwear and multiple aspectsof nerds’ overall well-being that randomly appeared to usas “important”. The set of variables included: code quality,whatever they thought they meant by “productivity”, socialstatus, condition of their beloved electronic devices (includingperipherals). Finally, their Hacker News karma. MeasuringPearson product-moment correlation coefficient also soundedcool but we failed to understand what we can make of it.
  6. 6. After the 90 days of thorough testing followed by 90 daysof data mining and machine learning, we have developeda theory that Unerdwear can likely solve every singleproblem a nerd can face. While the Higgs boson is alreadydiscovered and there is not much we can do about it, wehave firm reasons to believe that widespread promotion andglobal application of Unerdwear will eventually lower thelevel of entropy in the Universe. Upon that realization it wasconsequently concluded that--to put it in scientific terms--”waybefore” the humanity faces technological singularity in 2045,Unerdwear will be able to solve all first world problems fornon-nerds, too.
  7. 7. We’ve never hacked textiles before but the stakes seemedso high that on the spur of the moment we recently orderedsome cotton and talked to people who know people whoactually know people in the textile industry. We want to keepcollecting big data to support our theories and so that ourmachines can learn even more about Unerdwear patterns andhuman-Unerdwear interaction. If you want to help us save thehumanity or at least make the world a better place, considercontributing to the research.
  8. 8. Sign up to get your pair of nerdies and at unerdwear.comor just casually email us at unerdwear@gmail.com.