Chapter 4: Lefty Widdershins &
the Case of the Asparagus Soda
Fluticasone and Losartan both needed to get into Private School, but a local
neighborhood boy named Nery Miguel kept interrupting the tour.
“There was this one episode, where Bunny Bare-Buns's carrot patch got robbed!!
Remember that? I thought it was going to be that mean ol' Buzzin' Bee Gang that did it
“Nery, my.. pleasant little boy,” Loki said through gritted teeth, “We're kind of.. busy.
Could you go play in the street or something?”
“Is there a bathroom in this castle or what??” The headmaster suddenly shouted,
wincing as he did the “full-bladder dance”.
When Last we left our Fair Freshnfruity Friends..
And so we continue the riveting drama that leaves readers
speechless, and all of the little children feeling less-than-safe
in their beds!
E-GADS what will happen next??
(Well turn the page, for starters!)
In addition to the head-master's visit, tonight is also Omeprazole's birthday into adulthood! Mr. Loki
has quite a busy night ahead.
Nevertheless he feels the need to pitch their blackened catfish dinner to the best of his ability.
“See?? See?? It doesn't even taste like shoe-leather! We're a real class act around here!”
With a final score of 113/90, Fluticasone and Losartan are a-goin' to private school!
Amazingly, this score is without the 10 extra points, because the head-master had no coffee!
Fluticasone wants to be a Space Pirate! We'll have to look out for the Adventure career track for her.
Tootie took the opportunity on this maternity leave to re-unite with old friends.
Remember Jill Smith from Chapter 1?
“YES! It looks exactly like one of those, spots and everything!!” She nodded.
Next she caught up with Lazlo Curious.
“You want to paint WHAT on me?! OH! Okay, I didn't quite hear the first time. Okay, sure!”
Say, who is this pretty lady that seems to have happened by?
Omeprazole has had her birthday right out on the sidewalk after the work carpool dropped her home!
At the same time that she grew up, Omeprazole was promoted to Roadie!
Now move out, we need the space for more of your future siblings. lol
Special Honorary Titles:
SECOND FRESHNFRUITY TO
GROW UP WITHOUT A
Aspiration Lvl earned
Verdict: WE ARE SO
“You know what would go great with that,” Losartan suggested helpfully, “Super-Fizz Asparagus-
“You watch a lot of t.v. don't you?” Fluticasone smiled at her little brother.
But then Fluticasone really got into it, recalling the jingle:
“Iiit fizzles up your nose and down-to- your-toes!
Mmmm! Ice-Cold Asparagus!” She sang.
We missed the first little “pop”; this may very well be Tootie's second!
“Yes I think so, too!” She agreed with the narrator happily.
*not long after that..
“Ohh hot-cakes, Ithinkit'stimeforthebabytocomeout!!” Tootie grunted all in one breath as Loki came into the
“Just come eat the rest of your stupid sandwich; you'll feel better,”Ranitidine muttered moodily.
Baby #7 is here at last!
It's a girl, and her name is Hydrocodone!
The Freshnfruitys are also three babies away from having had 10 children!!
“Hey dad, are we sure mom isn't a robot?” Ranitidine asked, as if confirming it.
In another area of the castle(specifically the laboratory), Fluticasone has gotten into the Adventurer
career, which will put her on her way to fulfilling her lifetime want to be a space pirate!
But she is left wondering: Is “YAARRRR” the same in space-pirate lingo as it is for Earth pirates?
To kill time, Fluticasone and Ranitidine decided to compete to see who will get the next body point!
Tootie found Vidcund Curious on the street and decided to invite him inside to catch up with him.
“Say, you're not the pretty little rosebud that I remembered AT ALL,” Vidcund laughed.
Introducing Xavier Hurt, the new maid(in the purple shirt)!
Hey wait- isn't he supposed to be cleaning?!
“Eeww! I think I sat in something!” Vidcund exclaimed, “Is there something on
my butt?? I knew it! Dang kids and their Frosted Toadstools with Sugar-
*After the body point competition the girls all sat down to refreshing bowls of moose-turd pie..
“That was fun! Wanna wrestle for match sticks now?” Fluticasone asked her sister as they sat
down from their contest.
“Sure but let's make it for purple match sticks!” Ranitidine chirped.
“Better yet, we'll wrestle for my mint-in-the-case baseball autographed by Lefty Widdershins!” Ranitidine
gasped as she had an epiphany.
“I don't know who that is,” Fluticasone paused, “ Ma, do you know of a baseball player named Lefty
“No, honey, but isn't it nice of your sister to offer her baseball to you?” Tootie replied sweetly.
“Oh come on,” Ranitidine groaned as the other two stared at her blankly, “LEFTY WIDDERSHINS??
The king of the red loogie bean ball??”
“Oh!” Fluticasone jumped in her seat, “Wasn't he the one who- wait, no that was The Nickel-Plated
Knee-Cap..” she continued musing.
Even though Nery Miguel may have caused a lot of trouble at the end of chapter 3, he also may be able
to make up for it by helping Losartan fulfill his want to make a friend.
Holy crow! Fluticasone has been promoted to the top of the Adventurer career(for teens) on her first
night on the job! She's been promoted to Multiregional Sim of Some Question!
Can Loki cook a turkey in this chapter without setting something on fire? Let's find out!
Well check Loki out! Nothing is charred, toasted, flambe'd, or blackened, and only Vidcund is around
to appreciate it.
I was wrong! Tootie clearly appreciates a man who can cook.
In an effort to improve Tootie's mood, they bought her the microwave she wanted.
“Oh good! It's so pretty,” she exclaimed, “ now what does it do?”
There's a better shot of the new maid Xavier, as he actually goes about his rounds. :-)
Ooh-hoo! Tootie's been promoted to College Senior Professor!
She'd do pretty well in the military too, the way she effortlessly blends into her surroundings here.
Become the sand, Tootie.
That same evening, the current “big enchilada”, baby Hydrocodone is growing into a toddler!
'This is why I got married,' Tootie thought fondly as she rattled the heck out of a party favor,
anticipating (with the rest of us) what her most recent child would end up looking like.
“I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeVille”, Hydrocodone seems to be saying.
Hmm.. well she has A CHIN, but not THE CHIN. It's a start!
We'll have to keep an eye on this one, if you can handle it.
Who is Losartan bringing across the drawbridge today?
His name is Pong King. Welcome, Pong! Won't you be our neighbor?
I was a little blown away by Fluticasone's carpool ride to work, until I realized that she was going to
work at the same time as her father Loki, who is a mad scientist.
It's Losartan AND Ranitidine's birthdays tonight! He's becoming a teenager, while she is
going into adulthood!
Attending are Kendal Lawson(in the red dress) and Barbara Young(in the pink and plaid).
“That's right, I get two cakes! Nothing for you,” Ranitidine bragged to her little brother.
As an added bonus, Ranitidine was promoted to Senior Manager upon growing up!
Special Honorary Titles:
THIRD FRESHNFRUITY TO GROW
UP WITHOUT A BIRTHDAY PARTY
Aspiration Lvl earned
(as teen):FUTURE FINANCIER
Turn-Ons: GREY HAIR
Verdict: A CONSTANT
REMINDER OF HER PARENTS'
Mama Tootie joins the party just in time for Losartan's turn at the cake!
Name: LOSARTAN FRESHNFRUITY
Special Honorary Titles:
SECOND SON OF THE REBIRTH
Rolled: PLEASURE SIM
(as a child):CHILD PRODIGY
Turn-Ons: MAKEUP & ATHLETIC
Turn-Off: BLONDE HAIR
Verdict: THINGS JUST KEEP
The next morning Hydrocodone learned her first skill!
She is now potty-trained!
“Can we go play cowboys and indians now?!” Loki groaned impatiently.
Loki is using some of his free time during the day to help his wife closer to her next promotion.
She needs 2 more friends, and he has targeted the head master, Andrew Gonzaga to be the next.
“Well of COURSE there are aliens, you twit!” He berated Andrew, using his superstar charisma to win
the man over.
While Loki was upstairs making friends, Ranitidine came home from work with a promotion!
She is now Vice President in the Business career!
With her promotion, the family now has $23,809 to play with!
At first when I found out Hydrocodone only had one day left before her birthday, I thought:
'Hooray! She only has one day left and she'll be a child!'
But then I thought:
'Oh peanut butter balls! She's only been potty-trained! She has one day left to learn the other 2 skills!!'
Howsabout we teach her to walk now?
Losartan needs a job! His lifetime want is to have 50 first dates(which he may never get, let's face it)
but that means we can stick him in whatever kooky job that offers, without focusing on his lifetime
Down he goes into the dungeon to use the computer there. Nice orange sweater by the way, fella.
There's nothing particularly odd in the job offerings, so he's going into the culinary career for now.
Merry Christmas, Losartan, you're starting out as a drive-thru clerk!
WHEW! 2 skills down and one to go!
Hydrocodone has learned to walk!
That's some leak in the shower of the childrens' bedroom!
Good thing Losartan has the skill level to fix it.
For repairing that crazy shower leak, we'll reward Losartan with a makeover!
(he's really due for one anyway)
Nothing like a beanie, yellow eyeshadow and a little lip gloss to make a fella feel super-butch.
At 5:30 in the morning, Hydrocodone was rested, and our mighty hero Losartan volunteered to help
his little sister learn to talk!
“Make mine lime,” Losartan said slowly.
“LIME!” Hydrocodone giggled enthusiastically.
Ranitidine must have carpooled with someone else,
BECAUSE SHE'S BEEN PROMOTED TO PRESIDENT!!
And this starry-eyed, vacant stare is supposed to emote glee??
Easy girl calm down; don't go getting so excited on me. lol
At 4:46 p.m.(game time again), it turns out to be Loki that finished teaching Hydrocodone to talk!
WHEEEEWWW!! All without smart milk too!
I hate to say it, but it's time Ranitidine moved out. Don't cry girl, don't cry. . .
But seriously, as president of a corporation shouldn't she have moved out WAY before this??
GO MOOCH OFF YOUR SIBLINGS FOR AWHILE!
Tonight is Hydrocodone's birthday; let's see if Loki's luck with the stove continues to hold as he cooks
up a platter of Lobster Thermidor.
“Ha-HA!!” Loki laughed confidently with his chest out, in his best hero-laugh.
Once again he did not burn down the kitchen!
“HO-HO!! I am Lobster-Man!! KNEEL before my mighty lobster powers!!” the hero-voice commanded.
Even though she got all of her learning in, Hydrocodone seems to have cut it a little close as far as time to
grow up regardless of cake. While there was a cake intended for her, she seems to have grown up before she
could get downstairs. She can still have her makeover though!
Ole, senorita!! Let her carve H's in all the doors with a butter-knife(swords are dangerous)!
But first, go have some birthday lobster.
Status: SEVENTH BORN
Special Honorary Titles:
FIRST FRESHNFRUITY CHILD TO
GROW UP BEFORE HER OWN PARTY
Aspiration Lvl Earned(as a
toddler): MIRACLE MITE
Verdict: WE SHALL CALL HER
JENNY CHIN-CHINS. MAYBE.
With Tootie asleep and the other two remaining siblings still at work, it was a rather quiet birthday dinner.
“Daddy I wanna birthday elephant!!” Hydrocodone suddenly commanded.
“Are you sure you want a birthday elephant?” Loki asked innocently, “They eat LOTS of elephant food, make
big, ploppy elephant poopies, and sometimes they charge for no reason at all! Ooh, scary!” he continued.
“Yeah daddy I wanna big poopy birthday elephant!!” Hydrocodone exclaimed as she bounced in her chair,
even more excited. Oh nut-buckets.
Loki thought for a moment.
“How about a nice birthday parrot?” He asked.
Hydrocodone glared at him cunningly with her eyes narrowed for a minute, her ginormous chin
threatening to jut out.
“Ummm . . OKAY!” She chirped.
* sigh * Well he DOES beat the birthday elephant, maintenance-wise.
Introducing Rexie, the birthday parrot!(ha-ha, get it? R-xie?)
His cage is also being relocated to an upstairs hallway, where he can't get
stuck and starve, like poor Tiberius.
Annndd Losartan has been promoted to Fast Food Shift Manager, at the
tippy-top of the culinary career track for teens!
With this promotion he ALSO made overachiever, which means he is at the
top of his career, and maintains an A+ grade in school!
While things get re-arranged all over the castle to make room for the
pinball machine, Tootie catches up with Vidcund Curious.
“I spy with my little eye, something that starts with P!” She began.
“I don't get it, is it the window??” Vidcund asked excitedly.
Downstairs, Losartan has beat out his family in the cooking department!
He has cooked a perfect platter of blackened catfish on THREE COOKING POINTS!
“After all, I AM the Fast Food Shift manager!” he said to himself.
It's a snow day for Hydrocodone!
She's spending it beefing up her mechanical skill level.
“Hmm..” She mused, “The Thermodynamics of a Black Hole, and Its
Effects on a Potato Chip in the Microwave- fascinating!” she gushed as
Where has Loki been? Why, he's been down in the basement laboratory, realizing his TRUE passion!
He wants to go from being a Mad Scientist, to Education Minister.
He's starting out in the Education career as a High School Teacher!
Now Loki and Tootie are BOTH going for the top of the education career!
With Tootie's kids so often moving out, it plays havoc with her family-friend count.
She has invited Crystal Vu over to make friends!
She doesn't exactly appear to be the socially graceful type, however.
“Hi there nice to see ya got anything in the fridge?” Crystal breezed past, dodging the
Ain't that just the candy most dandy?
Loki has been promoted to University Guest Lecturer, and he had to run and tell his daughter, who got home when he
“Hey pretty girl! I'm a B.S. Artist now!!” He declared loudly, in front of a school bus full of her classmates.
“I think I'll wait and ride down to the next stop to get off, busdriver,” Hydrocodone replied as she shut the door again.
She did however, let her friend Pong King off there. Her guest shouldn't have to walk as far after all.
“Do we have to keep letting strange kids in our house??” Loki called up to his daughter, who still hid on the
Fluticasone is becoming an adult tonight!
We may let her hang around long enough for Tootie's next promotion, though.
Which one do ya think will pass out from their noise-maker first: Hydrocodone or Loki?
Big surprise, Fluticasone was promoted to Dread Pirate just after her birthday!
Status: FIFTH BORN
Special Honorary Titles:
THE CHILD FATED TO BREAK THE
Rolled: KNOWLEDGE SIM
Turn-Ons: FITNESS & JEWELRY
Turn-Off: BROWN HAIR
Aspiration Lvl Earned
(as a teen): YOUNG GENIUS
Verdict: GIMME EVERYTHING
Fluticasone's adult makeover.. put her right back in the same “street chic” look from her teenage days!
But don't you agree, she looked so pretty before, it broke my heart to see her blonde!
Still celebrating, Loki and Hydrocodone ran crazily outside to take advantage of the lack of moat, and play
Dear ol' dad dodged hers quite deftly, at the same time nailing her in the face!
“Oh my nose!! That wasn't cool at all!!” the little girl giggled after a moment.
Way to bond, dad.
As our lovely couple relaxed together the next day, Tootie waxed philosophical.
Or at least, as philosophical as she ever gets.
“Chicken tenders, am I getting fat like a sumo wrestler?”
Loki was quick to console her, as all good husbands should be.
“No way, you're not fat like a sumo anyway,” he replied gently, batting his eyelashes.
“Humph!” Tootie responded.
“You read too much,” Loki advised her, “it's putting all of these thoughts in your
silly, womanish head.”
“Tell you what, I'll sound the alarm when you reach the stage of 'blueberry daughter' ok?” He asked.
“Umm, ok!” Tootie chirped, “let's make more babies!”
What a romantic couple they are!
“Oh lizard-tongue!” she sighed dreamily in her mannish falsetto.
“Mmm, garlic breath!!” Loki slobbered.
And so, clothes and all, they disappeared beneath the sheets.
After their little roll in the hay, it seemed like a good time to play catch.
Too bad it's winter; they almost went out in their underwear, which would have been a better shot :-)
Inside, Fluticasone takes some time to catch up with Kendal Lawson.
“You wore WHAT? And he wore WHAT?” Oh, the green laces. Well yes of course he did!”
Their conversation continued. . .
“The robots?! Are you sure?? They're really coming?! Ooh! I hardly know what to wear!! Let me get my
Fluticasone was so convinced that there was going to be an invasion that she decided to
shape up for when the time came to sprint out of town.
Hey another strange kid!
Hydrocodone brought home Michelle Johnson.
Loki's been promoted to High School Principal, but Tootie's the one who's getting excited.
Cheer up, old bean! You're moving up in the world.
“Humphf,” he replied, “well nobody'd better shoot any spit-balls, is all I'm saying,” Loki grumped.
Looks like that one episode of romper room was all it took! Tootie's preeeeggnant again!
To get her fun and social up, Tootie plays a round of SSSX3 with Hydrocodone in what
used to be the lab.
“Maaa!! You made me loose a point!” Hydrocodone whined.
“Ooh! Coming to the river! Which button was for 'condemn' again?” Tootie replied as
she got further engrossed in the game.
Hydrocodone has just became a teenager! And just like when she became a child, she got antsy about growing
up, and made it THIS CLOSE to her cake before she couldn't stand it any longer, and grew up on us. SHEESH.
I know, girl; it makes me sad, too! And no, growing up in a kooky-printed kimono doesn't help.
That hair sure is familiar, though. :-)
Status: SEVENTH BORN
Special Honorary Titles:
FIRST FRESHNFRUITY CHILD
TO GROW UP BEFORE HER OWN
Rolled: FORTUNE SIM
Aspiration Lvl Earned(as
a child): GIFTED KID
Turn-Ons: MAKEUP & lOGIC
Turn-Off: BLACK HAIR
Verdict: THE CHIN IS NO MORE
Tootie was awoken later that night with a feeling of progression;
a feeling of being . . . watermelon-like.
“Aaaawk! Heal the World!” Rexie squawked.
What you are looking at ladies and gentlemen is the last skill point Loki has to get
before he's maxed out ALL SEVEN SKILLS. Let's wait and watch . . .
There it is! Loki will no longer have to worry about any skill-building for the rest of his days;
life or afterlife! Isn't it exciting boys and girls?
“Aaawwk! You're Safe! Aaaawwk! You're safe!” Rexie chanted, dancing from foot to foot in
Fluticasone has been promoted from Dread Pirate to Warhead Disarmer!
Maybe she'll even get a classier uniform; to go around disarming things in a pirate costume is just plain silly.
Garrett Nanale the Headmaster is here to see if Hydrocodone is going to be approved for private school!
So far he approves of the library's re-arrangement. . .
“WOO!! Freebird! FREE- BIRD!” He cheered at the piano.
Loki eyeballed this very important figure, and tried to think of a way to finesse his words.
“ Piano don't play by itself you twit,” is what came out.
The headmaster also gets a real kick out of the kitchen.
“All-RIGHT!! I smell pickles in herring sauce! It's gonna be a GOOD NIGHT!
About the time the headmaster's visit was going on inside, Losartan returned home with a demotion outside!
He made a bad choice on a wild card, in which he decided to roll up his sleeves and make a lot of burgers.
For that lamentable choice he's been knocked back down to Drive Thru Clerk!
Next we decided to move the coffee bit up, so that we ensure the extra 10 points, and also so that afterwards
the headmaster can focus on dinner.
He had a lovely coffee break while dinner was being prepared, chatting with some lovely girls.
While the headmaster dined, Hydrocodone was down in the basement lab, searching for her dream career.
She wants to go into Business to become a Business Tycoon.
HEY!! Halfway through his lobster dinner, the headmaster declared the family unfit for his school, and left.
Fortunately for the kids that are already in, this doesn't apply. It only means poor Hydrocodone can't go.
But we can try again another night! Just you wait Mr. Nanale; we'll getcha!
It seemed to be a simple case of running out of time, and not getting the points from his rating of his dinner.
On top of the headmaster drama, Tootie's baby has decided to make its way out into the world!
Losartan is too sad about his demotion, for the moment, to do anything more than eat his cheese pancakes in
What a delightful way to wrap things up!
The eighth Freshnfruity child is a girl named Oxycodone!
“Say hello to all the people, doopsy-pooples!” Tootie gushed in her falsetto.
We'll see what happens with her(and the rest of the bunch) when Chapter 5 rolls into town!