LOST- This Place is Undead
Previously on LOST

          I did it I killed the smoke
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             Hello? Is anyone sti...
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             Shut up!

Kate mak...
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             Eww, how would that ...
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             Thank you, Jack.
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             Yes. You say it as t...
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             Hey where are you g...
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             Hey, Benben!
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             I am not! Ok, so I’m...
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             Straume? What is ...
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             What I like and do...
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             Tell me James, how...
CONTINUED:                                            14.

             You son of a bitch!...
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Lost this place is undead

  1. 1. LOST- This Place is Undead
  2. 2. LOST-THIS PLACE IS UNDEAD Previously on LOST JACK I did it I killed the smoke monster! Hurray hurra! KATE Hey, what is that a list of? JACK It’s a list of people who’ve died that I want to bring back. KATE Jack, you can’t, it was their time to go. JACK Don’t tell me what I can’t do! Once I die they’ll come back and so will I. KATE You’re scaring me! JACK Kill me Kate. KATE Never! SAWYER I’ll do it doc. Sawyer shoots Jack. The episode starts: 1. INT. LIVINGROOM- MORNING A moldy hand puts on a CD in a CD player. "Viva la vida" by coldplay starts playing. A bug eyed MAN(45) with brown hair, red eyes and a pale and greenish face sees his own reflection in the mirror, he smiles and starts swaying back and forwards. Suddenly a noise comes from outside the room, the man grunts and walks towards the door. 2. EXT. OTHERVILLE- MORNING A sad Kate is walking around Otherville and seems to be looking for someone or something. (CONTINUED)
  3. 3. CONTINUED: 2. KATE Hello? Is anyone still alive? The man approaches the woman carefully. MAN Hello Kate turns around, and suddenly looks horrified and lets out a scream. KATE What..? Who are you? MAN Don’t you recognize me? It’s me, Ben. KATE What happened? BEN Why don’t you come on in, so I can tell you. KATE No! Where’s Jack? BEN He’s fine, Kate, he’s one of us, I’m sure he’d be happy to see you. Kate considers him for a moment, still looking frightened and then she starts running. Ben runs after her, and is much faster. He grabs her head and they start fighting. Kate punches him, but Ben still manages to bite her throat. Blood starts pouring, and Ben walks away from Kate’s lifeless body. LOST INTRO 3. EXT. OTHERVILLE- MORNING Close-up of a red eye in the jungle. It’s Kate and her face is bloody, pale and greenish, with dark circles around the eyes. Behind one of the bushes there’s a man, Hurley. He’s staring at Kate with a face filled with shock and fear. Right beside him is Miles, he too is looking scared. HURLEY ZOMBIES! (CONTINUED)
  4. 4. CONTINUED: 3. MILES Shut up! Kate makes a grunting sound and walks towards one of the DHARMA barracks. HURLEY Dude, we have to do something. MILES There’s nothing to do, tubby. I don’t want to end up like that. Our friends are dead, they’re gone, that’s not them in there. HURLEY But, Sayid was all zombieish and he changed in the end. MILES Hurley, we’re not going in there, just forget about it. HURLEY So what do we do now? MILES We find a way to leave the island, before they get to us. 4. INT. OTHERVILLE-LIVINGROOM- MORNING A zombie version of Jack and a zombie version of Desmond are sitting in a corner. Kate enters the room. KATE Hello, Jack! JACK Rahhlo! KATE What? JACK Are you deaf? Hello! Get off my back woman! KATE That’s not what you said last night. Kate gives him a seductive look. (CONTINUED)
  5. 5. CONTINUED: 4. JACK Eww, how would that even work? Jack makes something that resembles Jackface. Except a lot uglier. DESMOND Kate? KATE Yeah? DESMOND You look dashing. KATE Enough with your strange language, tell me what you want. DESMOND Where’s Sawyer? KATE I don’t know. JACK How about Hurley? KATE I- A zombie version of Locke enters the room, he’s missing his hands. LOCKE Hello, I see you’ve decided you join us Kate. Kate looks at Jack. KATE What the hell is he doing here? JACK Hey! Don’t you dare talk about him that way, Locke is my leader, he’s the one that made be believe! He’s my magical light cave. KATE Um..? (CONTINUED)
  6. 6. CONTINUED: 5. LOCKE Thank you, Jack. KATE I’m out of here! LAPIDUS Not so fast! KATE Where did you come from? LAPIDUS My mother’s womb! KATE I really wish you’d stop saying stuff like that. LAPIDUS Looks like someone got their whining ability back. KATE I- Good bye! Kate stomps off. 5. EXT. OTHERVILLE- MORNING Kate is walking towards the jungle, looking hungry and tired. She’s in hunter mode. Sawyer, who is still human jumps out. SAWYER Well hello there. So you a zombie now? How’s that working out for you? KATE I feel nothing, except for anger and lust. SAWYER Welcome to my world! Kate stares at him for a moment. SAWYER Are you going to make me into one? (CONTINUED)
  7. 7. CONTINUED: 6. KATE Yes. You say it as though you want me to. SAWYER I ain’t gonna complain about immortality, sweetheart. KATE Well, it’s not really immortality. SAWYER I know. Sawyer makes a frown face, pulls out a gun and shoots her head til there’s smoke coming out of it, or what’s left of it. LAPIDUS Oh, that’s one smoking lady! SAWYER Where the hell did you come from? LAPIDUS My mo- Sawyer puts a bullet through Lapidus’ head too. 6. EXT. JUNGLE- MORNING Miles and Hurley are walking through the jungle. HURLEY So, now we’re in some kind of Zombieland, who would have thought? MILES Just don’t start talking about wanting a twinkie and we’ll be fine. HURLEY Another fat joke, haha, you know, words hurt. MILES Yeah, so does knowing that I’m stuck with you. HURLEY Fine, dude. Hurley starts walking in a different path. (CONTINUED)
  8. 8. CONTINUED: 7. MILES Hey where are you going? Look I’m sorry. Suddenly they hear footsteps coming from behind them. HURLEY Uh-oh. Sawyer comes out of the bushes. HURLEY Sawyer! You’re not gross looking! Hurley runs towards him and they hug. SAWYER It’s nice to see you too. MILES Are we the only ones left? Sawyer gives an approving nod. SAWYER We have to turn the wheel. MILES What wheel? SAWYER The wheel Count Zaroff and Patrick Stewart kept yapping about. HURLEY Um..What? SAWYER Ben and Locke, if we turn it, we’ll move the island, but we’ll also get off it. HURLEY But how can we all leave, if you turn it? SAWYER We’ll all turn it at the same time. 7. INT. OTHERVILLE-LIVINGROOM- MORNING Ben is sitting in a chair staring at a wall. Zombie Juliet enters the room. (CONTINUED)
  9. 9. CONTINUED: 8. JULIET Hey, Benben! BEN Hey, Juljul! JULIET I’m hungry! BEN Me too, I’ve got some rabbits! JULIET I’m more in the mood for a southern meal. BEN Soul food? JULIET More like Sawyer ’food’. No ones found him yet? BEN Oh, we will. JULIET Just remember, he’s mine! And I’m sick of waiting Ben, I’m going out there to find him. BEN I’ll come with you, I’m sure he’s not alone. 8.EXT. Otherville- MORNING Juliet and Ben are walking outside towards the jungle. JULIET Hey, what’s that? They walk over to the corpse of Kate. Juliet looks at Ben. JULIET Did you do that? BEN Hhhwhat? No. JULIET You’re lying. (CONTINUED)
  10. 10. CONTINUED: 9. BEN I am not! Ok, so I’m the one who killed her, but I’m not the one that..um killed her. You know what I mean. JULIET Sawyer..He did this. Jack, Desmond and Locke come out of the house and start walking towards them. JACK Hey! Where are you going? BEN We’re looking for Sawyer. JACK We’re looking for Hurley. LOCKE His meat is quite juicy and is enough to go around. DESMOND Miles must be with him too. JULIET The more the merrier! JACK Who’s Miles? JULIET It’s the guy that was married to that "where’s my husband" chick. BEN No, that that’s Jin, or Moon or something. LOCKE It’s the human being that talks to ghosts. BEN No, that’s Hurley. DESMOND Miles! Miles Straume! Why the bloody hell can’t anyone remember him? He was on the freighter and he’s from Encino. (CONTINUED)
  11. 11. CONTINUED: 10. LOCKE Straume? What is that, Norwegian? DESMOND Let’s just get going! They walk off into the jungle. 9.EXT. FAR INTO THE JUNGLE-AFTERNOON Miles, Sawyer and Hurley are still walking through the jungle. MILES You sure this is the right way? SAWYER Yeah, we have go where Locke went to turn the wheel, the orchid something. HURLEY Hey guys? Why don’t we just take the Ajira plane? MILES Unless you took flying lessons while everyone was running around get killed, I don’t see happening. HURLEY How hard can it be? MILES You’re an idiot, and it’s a hell of a lot easier to just turn that wheel. SAWYER Hey, he ain’t an idiot. I’ll tell you who’s an idiot, Jack, Jack is an idiot. 10.EXT. JUNGLE-AFTERNOON Jack, Juliet, Desmond, Ben and Locke are trekking through the jungle. Locke is tracking Sawyer and the gang’s footsteps DESMOND So, John, do you like being alive again? (CONTINUED)
  12. 12. CONTINUED: 11. LOCKE What I like and don’t like is irrelevant, the only thing that matters is what the island likes. Awkward pause. LOCKE Also, that we find these, human beings and do our worst. DESMOND Well, at least you haven’t changed much. LOCKE Everyone, stop. I think I know where they’re headed. JACK What, where? LOCKE They’re going to the wheel, they’re going to move the island. And I know a shortcut. 11.EXT. ORCHID STATION-AFTERNOON Sawyer, Hurley and Miles finally arrive at the Orchid station. Miles looks at Sawyer. HURLEY I think we found the Orchid. MILES Why are you stating the obvious? Miles pauses and looks at Sawyer. MILES So what do we do now, oh great leader? SAWYER We go in. HURLEY But how? SAWYER I guess we have some time to figure that out. (CONTINUED)
  13. 13. CONTINUED: 12. 12.EXT. RIGHT BY THE ORCHID STATION- AFTERNOON LOCKE We’re here. JULIET Finally! Is Sawyer there? Locke is spying at Hurley, Sawyer and Miles while they’re trying to get in. LOCKE Yes, and so is Hurley, and a strange Asian guy I’ve never seen before. Desmond shakes his head in disbelief. DESMOND That’s Miles! LOCKE I thought you said he was Norwegian? DESMOND I nev- lets just get going. 13.EXT. ORCHID STATION-AFTERNOON HURLEY Did you guys hear that? SAWYER Hear what? HURLEY Dude, I think someone’s here. MILES No one is here, there’s no way they could poss- LOCKE Hello there James. HURLEY This is not good. Sawyer pulls his gun out. (CONTINUED)
  14. 14. CONTINUED: 13. LOCKE Tell me James, how many bullets do have left? You’re the only one with a gun. You can’t fight of all of us alone. DESMOND No, but I can help. Desmond pulls out a gun and starts shooting at Locke. HURLEY The head! Aim at his head. Desmond aims at his head, and a bullet goes straight through it. Jack runs towards Desmond and grabs him. JACK What the hell did you do that for!? Jack makes that face. DESMOND Because brotha, I’m not dead,I’m just wearing makeup. Jack pins Desmond to the ground and is about to literally rip his head off, but Sawyer shoots Jack just in time. Juliet and Ben walk towards them from behind the bushes. JULIET Sawyer! Sawyer gets teary eyed. SAWYER Juliet? JULIET We can be together now, you just come over here and let me do what I need to do and everything will be okay. SAWYER Sorry, blondie, but I’m done playing house. Sawyer blows her head off. At the same time Ben attacks Hurley and bites him. (CONTINUED)
  15. 15. CONTINUED: 14. SAWYER You son of a bitch! Sawyer aims his gun at Ben, tries to shoot him, but there are no more bullets left. Desmond looks up and blows Ben’s head off. Meanwhile Zombie Hurley bites Miles, who’s hiding in a corner, and now they’re both walking towards Desmond. But Desmond is too distracted to notice all of this, Sawyer however does. SAWYER Hey Desmond behind you! Hurley throws himself over Desmond just in time and rips one of his arms off. Desmond lies there dying, but tries to say something. DESMOND See you in another life, brotha. L O S T