The Sunday school teacher was carefullyexplaining the story of Elijah the Prophet andthe false prophets of Baal. She explainedhow Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it,cut a steer in pieces, and laid it upon thealtar. And then, Elijah commanded the peopleof God to fill four barrels of water and pour itover the altar.He had them do this four times “Now,” askedthe teacher, “Can anyone in the class tell mewhy the Lord would have Elijah pour waterover the steer on the altar?”A little girl in the back of the room startedwaving her hand, "I know! I know!" she said,"To make the gravy!"
The Sunday School teacher wasdescribing how Lot s wife lookedback and turned into a pillar ofsalt, when little Jason interrupted,"My Mummy looked back once,while she was driving," heannounced triumphantly, "and sheturned into a telephone pole!"
A Sunday school teacher was telling herclass the story of the Good Samaritan,in which a man was beaten, robbed andleft for dead.She described the situation in vividdetail so her students would catch thedrama.Then, she asked the class, "If you saw aperson lying on the roadside, allwounded and bleeding, what would youdo?" A thoughtful little girl broke thehushed silence, "I think Id throw up."
A Sunday school teacher asked,"Johnny, do you think Noah did alot of fishing when he was on theArk?““No,” replied Johnny."How could he, with just twoworms?"
A Sunday school teacher said to herchildren, " We have been learninghow powerful kings and queens werein Bible times. But, there is a higherpower.Can anybody tell me what it is?"One child blurted out, "Aces!"
Her Sunday Schoolteacher asked aten-year-old howSolomon happenedto be so wise."Because," sheanswered, after duemeditation, "he hadso many wives toadvise him."
Nine-year-old Joey, was asked by his mother what hehad learned in Sunday school. "Well, Mom, ourteacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemylines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out ofEgypt . When he got to the Red Sea , he had his army builda pontoon bridge and all the people walked acrosssafely. Then, he radioed headquarters forreinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.""Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked."Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, youd never believe it!"
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one ofthe most quoted passages in the Bible; Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters amonth to learn the verse. Little Rick was excited about the task -- but, he justcouldnt remember the Psalm.After much practice, hecould barely get past thefirst line. On the day thatthe kids were scheduledto recite Psalm 23 infront of the congregation,Ricky was so nervous.When it was his turn, hestepped up to themicrophone and saidproudly, "The Lord is myShepherd, and thats all Ineed to know."
Sunday after church, a Mom asked hervery young daughter what the lesson wasabout.The daughter answered, "Dont be scared,youll get your quilt."Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed.Later in the day, the pastor stopped by fortea and the Mom asked him what thatmornings Sunday school lesson wasabout.He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter iscoming."
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