The best web language: LOLCODE!!!

The best web language. language Which is the best programming language for you? Perl? PHP? OR Python? Ruby? ASP?

The one true answer is: LOL Code!!1one LOLCode is an esoteric language by geeks with too much free time. There are multiple lolcode interperters, parsers, and even compilers. “Laser Cats”

I wrote the first working lolcode parser And the first lolcode powered website. I am one of those geeks. “LOLCode By O'RLY”

Basic Usage CODE SNIPPET !BEWARE! HAI <- Opening tag MUST HAS STDIO <- Require File VISIBLE quot;HAI WORLD!quot; <- Print KTHXBYE <- Closing Tag

Variables CODE SNIPPET !BEWARE! I HAS COLOR1 <- Initiate Variable I HAS COLOR2 IZ GREEN ^- Initiate and Set Var COLOR1 IZ RED ^Set existing var

More Variables CODE SNIPPET !BEWARE! VISIBLE “COLOR IS &COLOR1&” ^- Print with Var replacement. IVAR IZ 1 < Set var to 1. IVAR UPUP!< Increment twice. IVAR UPUP! < IVAR is 3. BTW THIS IS A COMMENT ^- Use BTW to comment line.

Control Structures CODE SNIPPET !BEWARE! IZ &IVAR& == 1 < IF. BTW IF VISIBLE quot;YEAH RLYquot; VISIBLE __SKY__ <-Print Constant NOWAI BTW ELSE <- ELSE VISIBLE quot;NOWAIquot; KTHX

IF Control Structure CODE SNIPPET !BEWARE! IZ &IVAR& == 1 < IF. BTW IF VISIBLE quot;YA RLYquot; ORLY &IVAR& == 2 < ELSEIF VISIBLE quot;ORLYquot; ORLY &IVAR& == 2 < ELSEIF VISIBLE quot;ORLY RLYquot; NOWAI <- ELSE VISIBLE quot;NOWAIquot; KTHX

Arrays CODE SNIPPET !BEWARE! ARRAY IZ BUCKET < Create Bucket ^Variable Name 0 FISH quot;zeroquot; !! < Numerical 1 FISH quot;onequot; !! < Keys < String Keys two FISH quot;twoquot; !! BUCKET <- Prints “two” VISIBLE &ARRAY#two&

Multidemensional Arrays CODE SNIPPET !BEWARE! ARRAY IZ BUCKET < Create Bucket ^Variable Name 0 FISH quot;zeroquot; !! three FISH IZ BAG <- Use bag or buckets !! FISH quot;threequot; !! !! FISH quot;twoquot; !! ^New Dimension BAG BUCKET <- Prints “two” VISIBLE &ARRAY#two,1&

BAG Arrays CODE SNIPPET !BEWARE! ARRAY IZ BUCKET < Create Bucket ^Variable Name 0 FISH quot;zeroquot; !! three FISH IZ BAG <Create BAG !! FISH quot;threequot; !! !! FISH quot;twoquot; !! BAG ^BAG uses auto incremented keys. BUCKET <- Prints “two” VISIBLE &ARRAY#two,1&

Looping CODE SNIPPET ARRAY IZ BUCKET !BEWARE! < Create Bucket 0 FISH quot;zeroquot; !! 1 FISH quot;1quot; !! 2 FISH quot;2quot; !! BUCKET <- Foreach IM IN UR ARRAY ITZA NUMBA VISIBLE quot;&NUMBA&!quot; ^Prints “zero!1!2!” KTHX

Functions CODE SNIPPET !BEWARE! SO IM LIKE UPPING WITH VAR VAR2=0 ^Var Name ^Arguments ^Default Value VAR UPUP! <- Increment VAR I FOUND MAH VAR<- Return VAR KTHX <End Function VISIBLE quot;FOUR UP? ITZA quot;.UPPING(4) ^Prints “5”

Advanced Features CODE SNIPPET !BEWARE! THEVAR IZ GOLD VARNAME IZ THEVAR VISIBLE &&VARNAME&& <-Prints “GOLD” ^- Variable Variable ALWAYZ SKY IZ BLUE <- Set Constant VISIBLE __SKY__ <- Print Constant

Embed in HTML CODE SNIPPET <html> !BEWARE! <head> <title>LOL Power</title> <- HTML </head> <body> Subset of XML HAI MUST HAS STDIO VISIBLE quot;nquot; VISIBLE quot;HAI WORLD!quot; KTHXBYE ^ Code in tags is parsed. </body> </html>

SQLite Databases CODE SNIPPET !BEWARE! CAN HAS SQL? <- Include SQL Lib DBASE IZ GETDB('lolz')<-Select DB File FUNNAHS IZ DBUCKET( ^Get Array from DB &DBASE&, quot;CAN I PLZ GET joke ALL UP IN funnahsquot; ) ^LOL-SQL. “Select joke from funnahs”

SQLite Databases, Part Deux CODE SNIPPET !BEWARE! CAN HAS SQL? <- Get Array from DB DBASE IZ GETDB('lolz') FUNNAHS IZ DBUCKET(&DBASE&,quot;CAN I PLZ GET joke ALL UP IN funnahsquot;) < Loop It IM IN UR FUNNAHS ITZA JOKE VISIBLE quot;<P>quot;.&JOKE#joke&.quot;</P>quot; ^Print each joke KTHX (dbucket returns assoc array)

Tetra LOLCode Parser How to make a new lang work? With little to no work? Convert it to PHP! How? preg_replace! function lol_core_parse($code) Takes incoming code and runs through 36 regular expressions /e is your new best friend.

Tetra LOLCode Works with apache! Easiest way to run .lol on apache? Set .lol to parse as PHP Use PHP's prepend/append Output Buffering to catch LOL Parse src Write source to temporary file Include temporary file

More info? http://www.lolcode.com Official Website http://www.tetraboy.com/lolcode/ My LOLCode website, powred by LOLCODE! irc.freenode.net #lolcode Community IRC Channel. (I Hope noone still goes there..) MailChimp LOL Parser Based on my lolcode parser, download their improved version.

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The best web language: LOLCODE!!!

by Jeff Jones

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