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Effective Listening
Effective Listening <ul><li>The single most important skill in personal relationships, selling, negotiating, and managing ...
Effective Listening <ul><li>Listening </li></ul><ul><ul><li>60% in most relationships -The minimum </li></ul></ul><ul><ul>...
Effective Listening Listening is an essential component of communication. The Communication Process Source Message Channel...
The Elements of the Communication Process <ul><li>Caring  - The ignition system that starts it and sparks it. </li></ul><u...
Effective Communication  Depends On: <ul><li>Source credibility </li></ul><ul><li>Message strength </li></ul><ul><li>Chann...
Effective Communication <ul><li>Elements that enhance source credibility: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Trustworthiness </li></ul>...
Effective Communication <ul><li>Elements that enhance message strength: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Two-sided argument </li></ul...
Effective Communication <ul><li>Channel effectiveness </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Face-to-face most effective </li></ul></ul><ul...
Effective Communication <ul><li>Receiver characteristics that affect communication: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Intelligence </l...
Effective Communication <ul><li>Effective Listening is the foundation on which effective communication rests. </li></ul><u...
Effective Listening <ul><li>Ask an open-ended question. </li></ul><ul><li>Adopt the proper attitude. </li></ul><ul><ul><li...
Effective Listening <ul><li>Do not step on sentences. </li></ul><ul><li>Do not respond to negatives, objections, concerns ...
Effective Listening <ul><li>Respect the other side’s statements. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Respect and learn about their view ...
Effective Listening <ul><li>Concentrate on the speaker (open body language). </li></ul><ul><li>Acknowledge, don’t always a...
<ul><li>What good listeners  don’t  do: * </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Interrupt </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Respond too soon. </l...
Non-Verbal Communication <ul><li>Non-verbal communication conveys 65% of a message’s meaning. </li></ul><ul><li>Look for i...
Non-Judgmental Listening <ul><li>Listen, understand and   accept other people’s perception of the world. </li></ul><ul><ul...
Non-Judgmental Listening <ul><li>Security creates an atmosphere of openness, honesty, and trust. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Ope...
Non-Judgmental Listening <ul><li>Vary your responses, otherwise listening becomes a monotonous technique. </li></ul><ul><l...
Non-Judgmental Listening <ul><li>Goals: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>To understand the other person’s needs </li></ul></ul><ul><u...
Listening Roadblocks <ul><li>Denying, minimizing,  </li></ul><ul><li>Cheering up, reassuring, encouraging </li></ul><ul><l...
Listening Roadblocks <ul><li>Taking over, rescuing </li></ul><ul><li>Analyzing, probing, playing detective </li></ul><ul><...
Effective Listening <ul><li>Listen carefully, actively to other people. </li></ul><ul><li>Rephrase their position/objectio...
“Feel, Felt, Found” <ul><li>Respond: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>“I understand how you  feel  …” </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>...
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Effective Listening

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Transcript of "Effective Listening"

  1. 1. Effective Listening
  2. 2. Effective Listening <ul><li>The single most important skill in personal relationships, selling, negotiating, and managing is listening . </li></ul><ul><li>You can’t have a successful relationship unless you are firmly committed to listening a majority of the time. </li></ul>
  3. 3. Effective Listening <ul><li>Listening </li></ul><ul><ul><li>60% in most relationships -The minimum </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>80% in some relationships - The maximum </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>If your partner won’t listen at least 20% of the time, it is not a two-way relationship. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>It’s a one-way relationship like in theater, movies, print, broadcasting, or cable -- you are the audience. </li></ul></ul></ul></ul>
  4. 4. Effective Listening Listening is an essential component of communication. The Communication Process Source Message Channel Receiver Listening Understanding Feedback
  5. 5. The Elements of the Communication Process <ul><li>Caring - The ignition system that starts it and sparks it. </li></ul><ul><li>Respect - The generator that creates its own electricity and keeps it going. </li></ul><ul><li>Understanding - The pistons that power it forward. </li></ul><ul><li>Fairness - The cooling system that keeps it from overheating and running smoothly. </li></ul>The Power of Ethical Persuasion, Tom Rusk M.D., Viking, 1993
  6. 6. Effective Communication Depends On: <ul><li>Source credibility </li></ul><ul><li>Message strength </li></ul><ul><li>Channel effectiveness </li></ul><ul><li>Receiver characteristics </li></ul><ul><li>Listening effectiveness </li></ul><ul><li>Responsive feedback </li></ul>
  7. 7. Effective Communication <ul><li>Elements that enhance source credibility: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Trustworthiness </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Competence </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Objectivity </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Expertise </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Physically Attractiveness </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Dynamism </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Similarity </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>“ People like and trust people exactly like themselves.” </li></ul></ul></ul>
  8. 8. Effective Communication <ul><li>Elements that enhance message strength: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Two-sided argument </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Ordering effects </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Primacy and recency </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid) </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>USP (Unique Selling Proposition) </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Focus on benefits to the other person </li></ul></ul>
  9. 9. Effective Communication <ul><li>Channel effectiveness </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Face-to-face most effective </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Full, two-way verbal and non-verbal communication with instant feedback </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Video (film, TV, e.g.) next most effective. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Audio (radio, e.g.) next. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Video and audio can convey emotion and control emphasis, even though they are one-way. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Print least effective unless the message is complex. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Can’t convey emotion, one-way. </li></ul></ul></ul>
  10. 10. Effective Communication <ul><li>Receiver characteristics that affect communication: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Intelligence </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>The receiver can understand and evaluate messages. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Self-confidence </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>The receiver trusts self to evaluate communication and make an assured decision. </li></ul></ul></ul>
  11. 11. Effective Communication <ul><li>Effective Listening is the foundation on which effective communication rests. </li></ul><ul><li>You can improve not only your listening effectiveness but also the listening effectiveness of your partner on the road to agreement. </li></ul><ul><li>The beginning of knowledge, learning, relationships, communication, and conversation is a question -- an open-ended question. </li></ul>
  12. 12. Effective Listening <ul><li>Ask an open-ended question. </li></ul><ul><li>Adopt the proper attitude. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Optimistic, open, confident, trusting, respecting, non-defensive, and non-judgmental </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Shut up and listen. </li></ul><ul><li>Listen actively : nod, use gestures, smile (Responsive Feedback). </li></ul><ul><li>Concentrate on the speaker . </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Don’t take notes unless it’s absolutely necessary. </li></ul></ul>
  13. 13. Effective Listening <ul><li>Do not step on sentences. </li></ul><ul><li>Do not respond to negatives, objections, concerns too quickly. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>If you do, you appear to be defensive. </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Do not think of a rebuttal. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>If you continually rebut arguments, you’ll stop getting them and won’t learn anything. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>If you think of a rebuttal while trying to listen, you can’t receive 100% of the information you hear. </li></ul></ul>
  14. 14. Effective Listening <ul><li>Respect the other side’s statements. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Respect and learn about their view of the world. </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Listen for themes. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Risk averse, conservative, entrepreneurial, needs recognition, affiliation needs, goal oriented, etc. </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Be very sensitive to emotional cues. </li></ul><ul><li>Listen in synchronization – don’t mimic. </li></ul>
  15. 15. Effective Listening <ul><li>Concentrate on the speaker (open body language). </li></ul><ul><li>Acknowledge, don’t always agree. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>“Oh,” “Uh-Uh,” “I see,” e.g. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Don’t say “Good,” or “You’re right,” – judgmental. </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Do not react emotionally. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Control your emotions. </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Listen with authenticity. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Be yourself, others can tell when you’re not sincere. </li></ul></ul>
  16. 16. <ul><li>What good listeners don’t do: * </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Interrupt </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Respond too soon. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Editorialize in midstream. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Jump to conclusions. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Judge the speaker. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Try to solve the problem too quickly. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Take calls or interruptions in the course of a meeting. </li></ul></ul>* The Trusted Advisor, David Maister et al, Free Press, 2000
  17. 17. Non-Verbal Communication <ul><li>Non-verbal communication conveys 65% of a message’s meaning. </li></ul><ul><li>Look for individual body language. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>No universal body language. </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Use gestures, space, openness, and your body language to: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Give the message you care about and like the other person. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Match their style and pace . </li></ul></ul>
  18. 18. Non-Judgmental Listening <ul><li>Listen, understand and accept other people’s perception of the world. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Spend time in their shoes. </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Develop a non-threatening, non-confrontational attitude so people feel secure in opening up, revealing personal information. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Offer personal information first and then trade it. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Find something you have in common with the other person. </li></ul></ul>Sales Effectiveness Training, Carl Zaiss and Thomas Gordon, Penguin Books, 1993
  19. 19. Non-Judgmental Listening <ul><li>Security creates an atmosphere of openness, honesty, and trust. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Open discussion is now possible. </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Remember, trust is the oil and grease that keeps the communication engine moving along the road to agreement. </li></ul>
  20. 20. Non-Judgmental Listening <ul><li>Vary your responses, otherwise listening becomes a monotonous technique. </li></ul><ul><li>Show genuine concern and caring. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>“I don’t care how much you know until I know how much you care.” </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Never ask “Why?” </li></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>No challenges </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>No obvious, manipulating techniques or leading questions: “Have you stopped beating your wife?” e.g. </li></ul></ul></ul>
  21. 21. Non-Judgmental Listening <ul><li>Goals: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>To understand the other person’s needs </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Often, the other person just needs to talk. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>To understand another person’s unique perception of their world. </li></ul></ul>Sales Effectiveness Training, Carl Zaiss and Thomas Gordon, Penguin Books, 1993
  22. 22. Listening Roadblocks <ul><li>Denying, minimizing, </li></ul><ul><li>Cheering up, reassuring, encouraging </li></ul><ul><li>Sympathy, indignation, me-tooing, story-telling </li></ul><ul><li>Advising, teaching </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Become condescending </li></ul></ul>Sales Effectiveness Training, Carl Zaiss and Thomas Gordon, Penguin Books, 1993
  23. 23. Listening Roadblocks <ul><li>Taking over, rescuing </li></ul><ul><li>Analyzing, probing, playing detective </li></ul><ul><li>Criticizing, moralizing, warning </li></ul><ul><li>Arguing, defending, counterattacking </li></ul><ul><ul><li>All of these responses are judgmental. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>So the point is to shut up and listen and acknowledge unemotionally … like a therapist does. </li></ul></ul>Sales Effectiveness Training, Carl Zaiss and Thomas Gordon, Penguin Books, 1993
  24. 24. Effective Listening <ul><li>Listen carefully, actively to other people. </li></ul><ul><li>Rephrase their position/objection. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>“Let me make sure I understand your position…you feel our prices are too high?” </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Get their agreement that you understand. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>“Is that correct?” </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Respond with a form of an “I understand” statement (vary your responses) </li></ul><ul><ul><li>“I understand…,” </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>“Feel, felt, found.” </li></ul></ul>
  25. 25. “Feel, Felt, Found” <ul><li>Respond: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>“I understand how you feel …” </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Acknowledges their feelings and honors them. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>“Many customers have felt the same way …” </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Reinforces and legitimizes their opinions so they know they aren’t stupid or silly. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>“But we have found that higher prices are based on three things: highly targeted content, high demand, and high response rates. We have a 95% renewal rate.” </li></ul></ul>
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