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Today’s Mind Menu <ul><li>A philosophy of communication (we are not born communicators) </li></ul><ul><li>Character and pe...
A Philosophy of Courageous Communication <ul><li>Self – critical analysis </li></ul><ul><li>Listening, the most used and l...
Courageous Communication <ul><li>We sometimes teach people to lie, based on how we respond when they speak the truth </li>...
Character vs. Personality Ethics <ul><li>Character ethic - people experience true success and enduring happiness as they l...
Character vs. Personality Ethics <ul><li>In character based ethic, others come to rely on our strong character and dependa...
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Stephen R. Covey <ul><li>An approach to personal and interpersonal effectiveness...
A View from the Inside Out <ul><li>When we want to change a  situation , we must first change ourselves </li></ul><ul><li>...
Habits Become Character <ul><li>Be proactive – response-ability </li></ul><ul><li>Begin with the end in mind - collaborati...
Empathetic Listening <ul><li>Sympathy, Apathy, Empathy, Monologue, Dialogue </li></ul><ul><li>Empathetic listening </li></...
“ Paths” in Communication <ul><li>Sympathy – feeling an emotion for or about another person “I feel ___ for you.” </li></u...
Empathetic Listening <ul><li>Listening to help another person empower themselves to work through (find resolution) their o...
The Empathetic “Hand-up” <ul><li>Define the issue </li></ul><ul><li>Analyze the issue </li></ul><ul><li>Generate solutions...
Empathetic Skills and Challenges <ul><li>“ Paraphrase plus” – listen reflectively </li></ul><ul><li>Support disclosure </l...
Confirming Communication <ul><li>People know that we value them and the relationship </li></ul><ul><li>People feel acknowl...
Dia-logic <ul><li>Reasoning together to produce solutions </li></ul><ul><li>Dialogue – a discussion between two people </l...
What Creates Conflict? <ul><li>Interdependent people perceive incompatible goals and interference from the other in achiev...
Nature of Conflict—True or False? <ul><li>If two people engage in relationship conflict, it means their relationship is in...
Types of Conflict <ul><li>Pseudo </li></ul><ul><li>Ego </li></ul><ul><li>Issue </li></ul>
The Dialogic “Hand-shake” <ul><li>Both people describe perceptions of problem as well as their feelings about it </li></ul...
Dialogic Skills and Challenges <ul><li>Try to address problems in the present </li></ul><ul><li>Be clear about the intent ...
Dialogic Skills and Challenges <ul><li>Support disclosure </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t interrupt </li></ul><ul><li>Ask for clar...
Defensive Climate <ul><li>Evaluation vs. description </li></ul><ul><li>You and I statements </li></ul><ul><li>Control vs. ...
Defensive Climate <ul><li>Neutrality vs. empathy </li></ul><ul><li>Uninvolved with other’s views, instead  of seeing their...
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Transcript of "2062.ppt"

  1. 1. Today’s Mind Menu <ul><li>A philosophy of communication (we are not born communicators) </li></ul><ul><li>Character and personality ethics </li></ul><ul><li>Turning behaviors into character </li></ul><ul><li>Empathetic Listening </li></ul><ul><li>Supportive/Defensive Communication </li></ul><ul><li>Conflict – the bright side </li></ul><ul><li>Dialogic Listening </li></ul>
  2. 2. A Philosophy of Courageous Communication <ul><li>Self – critical analysis </li></ul><ul><li>Listening, the most used and least taught communication skill </li></ul><ul><li>Kaizen </li></ul><ul><li>Honesty with self and others </li></ul>
  3. 3. Courageous Communication <ul><li>We sometimes teach people to lie, based on how we respond when they speak the truth </li></ul>
  4. 4. Character vs. Personality Ethics <ul><li>Character ethic - people experience true success and enduring happiness as they learn and integrate sound principles into basic character </li></ul><ul><li>Personality ethic - success is a matter of personality, public image, attitudes and behaviors, skills and techniques that lubricate interaction </li></ul>
  5. 5. Character vs. Personality Ethics <ul><li>In character based ethic, others come to rely on our strong character and dependability </li></ul><ul><li>In personality ethic people may only know us based on a given situation, or how we present ourselves rather than who we are </li></ul>
  6. 6. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Stephen R. Covey <ul><li>An approach to personal and interpersonal effectiveness that is: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Principle centered </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Character based </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Inside-out </li></ul></ul>
  7. 7. A View from the Inside Out <ul><li>When we want to change a situation , we must first change ourselves </li></ul><ul><li>Who/what we are communicates far more than what we do </li></ul><ul><li>The way we actually see the problem might be the problem </li></ul>
  8. 8. Habits Become Character <ul><li>Be proactive – response-ability </li></ul><ul><li>Begin with the end in mind - collaborative </li></ul><ul><li>Put first things first – prioritize </li></ul><ul><li>Think win/win – abundant and creative </li></ul><ul><li>Seek to understand before seeking to be understood – empathy and dialogue </li></ul><ul><li>Synergy – creative collaboration </li></ul><ul><li>Rest </li></ul>
  9. 9. Empathetic Listening <ul><li>Sympathy, Apathy, Empathy, Monologue, Dialogue </li></ul><ul><li>Empathetic listening </li></ul><ul><li>Dialogic listening </li></ul><ul><li>Confirming communication </li></ul>
  10. 10. “ Paths” in Communication <ul><li>Sympathy – feeling an emotion for or about another person “I feel ___ for you.” </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Tends to have “me” orientation </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Apathy – lack of feeling </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Tends to have no orientation </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Empathy - Ability to view and understand issues from another person’s perspective, being other oriented </li></ul>
  11. 11. Empathetic Listening <ul><li>Listening to help another person empower themselves to work through (find resolution) their own issues </li></ul><ul><li>“ Give a person a fish…” </li></ul>
  12. 12. The Empathetic “Hand-up” <ul><li>Define the issue </li></ul><ul><li>Analyze the issue </li></ul><ul><li>Generate solutions </li></ul><ul><li>Pick a solution and visualize how the solution will be achieve </li></ul><ul><li>Evaluate the success </li></ul>
  13. 13. Empathetic Skills and Challenges <ul><li>“ Paraphrase plus” – listen reflectively </li></ul><ul><li>Support disclosure </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t interrupt </li></ul><ul><li>Avoid giving advice </li></ul><ul><li>Self reflection – “what did I do well, what could I have done better” </li></ul>
  14. 14. Confirming Communication <ul><li>People know that we value them and the relationship </li></ul><ul><li>People feel acknowledged and directly respond to </li></ul><ul><li>People know we understand their feelings and thoughts </li></ul><ul><li>People feel supported </li></ul><ul><li>People know we have positive regard </li></ul>
  15. 15. Dia-logic <ul><li>Reasoning together to produce solutions </li></ul><ul><li>Dialogue – a discussion between two people </li></ul><ul><li>Dialogic listening – listening to work through issues that are occurring within a relationship; being “we” oriented and empowering a relationship </li></ul>
  16. 16. What Creates Conflict? <ul><li>Interdependent people perceive incompatible goals and interference from the other in achieving them </li></ul><ul><li>Conflict is fear based </li></ul>
  17. 17. Nature of Conflict—True or False? <ul><li>If two people engage in relationship conflict, it means their relationship is in trouble </li></ul><ul><li>Conflict hurts an interpersonal relationship </li></ul><ul><li>Conflict is bad because it reveals our negative selves (our pettiness, our need to be in control, our unreasonable expectations) </li></ul>
  18. 18. Types of Conflict <ul><li>Pseudo </li></ul><ul><li>Ego </li></ul><ul><li>Issue </li></ul>
  19. 19. The Dialogic “Hand-shake” <ul><li>Both people describe perceptions of problem as well as their feelings about it </li></ul><ul><li>Both describe circumstances in which problem occurs </li></ul><ul><li>Both describe what they would like to see happen; generate solutions to the problem </li></ul><ul><li>Mutually choose solution and visualize the plan to carry it out </li></ul><ul><li>Each describes how they will know the solution has been successful or unsuccessful </li></ul>
  20. 20. Dialogic Skills and Challenges <ul><li>Try to address problems in the present </li></ul><ul><li>Be clear about the intent of the discussion </li></ul><ul><li>Keep problems “between” people rather than “on top” of people </li></ul><ul><li>Learn how to “paraphrase plus” – listen reflectively </li></ul>
  21. 21. Dialogic Skills and Challenges <ul><li>Support disclosure </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t interrupt </li></ul><ul><li>Ask for clarification when necessary, don’t assume </li></ul><ul><li>Try to think “we” rather than “me/you” </li></ul>
  22. 22. Defensive Climate <ul><li>Evaluation vs. description </li></ul><ul><li>You and I statements </li></ul><ul><li>Control vs. problem orientation </li></ul><ul><li>My way, as opposed to our way </li></ul><ul><li>Strategy vs. spontaneity </li></ul><ul><li>Pre-planned communication for outcome, rather than here/now </li></ul>
  23. 23. Defensive Climate <ul><li>Neutrality vs. empathy </li></ul><ul><li>Uninvolved with other’s views, instead of seeing their views </li></ul><ul><li>Superiority vs. equality </li></ul><ul><li>I’m ok, you’re not; rather than we’re ok </li></ul><ul><li>Certainty vs. provisionalism </li></ul><ul><li>Mind is made up, rather than flexibility </li></ul>
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