Using Non-Violent Communication Skills for Managing Team Conflict

807 views

Published on

“Going agile” has transformed thousands of workplaces into groups of self-directed teams, more engaged and increasingly more productive. Knowledge workers report increased job satisfaction, strong team identity, and camaraderie. One of the secrets of high performing teams is their ability to manage conflict in ways that support team cohesion, deepen trust, and reinforce commitment to team greatness. Agile practices value individuals and interactions over processes and tools. Sounds great on paper! How do you live that? How do you work effectively with “difficult people” whether teammates, your boss, or stakeholders in your project? Pat Arcady identifies what is at the core of disagreement, presents a simple four-step protocol for managing conflict, and introduces three key distinctions to make for converting an argument into a meaningful discussion. Practice applying these concepts to your own work situations. This is an experiential session, focused on practical applications for you at your job.

Published in: Technology, Business
0 Comments
0 Likes
Statistics
Notes
  • Be the first to comment

  • Be the first to like this

No Downloads
Views
Total views
807
On SlideShare
0
From Embeds
0
Number of Embeds
27
Actions
Shares
0
Downloads
47
Comments
0
Likes
0
Embeds 0
No embeds

No notes for slide

Using Non-Violent Communication Skills for Managing Team Conflict

  1. 1.   AT3 Concurrent Session  11/14/2013 10:15 AM        "Using Non-Violent Communication Skills for Managing Team Conflict"       Presented by: Pat Arcady FreeStanding Agility               Brought to you by:        340 Corporate Way, Suite 300, Orange Park, FL 32073  888‐268‐8770 ∙ 904‐278‐0524 ∙ sqeinfo@sqe.com ∙ www.sqe.com
  2. 2. Pat Arcady FreeStanding Agility Pat Arcady, EdD, is an executive consultant and agile coach with a specialty in work team conflict resolution. Consistent with the Agile Manifesto which values individuals and interactions over processes and tools, Pat’s work teaches busy professionals the “how to” of that value— how to interact with colleagues and customers in ways that best serve to achieve the successful outcomes work teams seek. A former manager at Verizon, college administrator, and trainer in the Nonviolent Communication System of conflict resolution, Pat is an expert in creating environments that foster high levels of productivity, collaboration, and positive morale. Learn more atfreestandingagility.com or email pata@freestandingagility.com.
  3. 3. 9/6/13& Scrum Master Skills 1 WELCOME TO USING NVC FOR MANAGING CONFLICT ON YOUR AGILE TEAM AGILE DEVELOPMENT & BETTER SOFTWARE EAST CONFERENCE, 2013 PAT ARCADY pata@freestandingagility.com w 617-623-9026 c 617-947-1440 © FreeStanding Agility 2012-2013 Scrum Master Skills 2 PURPOSE Share core concepts of NVC that agile teams find useful for managing conflicts that inevitable arise. AGENDA What is your burning question? Large group exercise Stimulus vs. Cause 4 step NVC protocol Four key distinctions Small group practice Wrap up © FreeStanding Agility 2012-2013 1&
  4. 4. 9/6/13& 3 Scrum Master Skills A PARADIGM FOR MANAGING CONFLICT ON AGILE TEAMS Based on the work of Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication © FreeStanding Agility 2012-2013 Scrum Master Skills 4 AN EXERCISE: LUNCH WITH THE SCRUM MASTER © FreeStanding Agility 2012-2013 2&
  5. 5. 9/6/13& 5 Scrum Master Skills SITUATION (OBSERVATION) THOUGHTS FEELINGS NEEDS 12 NOON You arrive at restaurant. No SM. 12:20 Still no SM. © FreeStanding Agility 2012-2013 6 Scrum Master Skills Assumptions 1. Everything someone says or does is an attempt to meet one or more universal needs. 2. We all have the same universal needs (not necessarily up at the same time) and all our needs matter. 3. Universal needs are never in conflict. Strategies for meeting those needs are what lead to conflict. 4. Value maintaining a connection with the other over finding a quick solution. © FreeStanding Agility 2012-2013 Source: Marshall Rosenberg- Nonviolent Communication 3&
  6. 6. 9/6/13& 7 Scrum Master Skills PART A: Understanding YOURSELF O 1. OBSERVATION: What did the person say or do? What is a concrete, verifiable description all can agree on? Free of your judgments, evaluations, interpretations. F 2. FEELING: What am I feeling? An emotion, sensation I experience in my body. This is very different from my thoughts – things I tell myself in my head. e.g., I feel mad/upset/hurt vs. I feel disrespected N 3. ** What do I NEED or VALUE in this situation? ** Awareness of my core needs/values in the moment helps me translate my judgment of wrongness of the other into clarity about what my unmet needs are in the moment. (See NEEDS list) R 4. What’s my REQUEST of the other or myself? Is there a strategy, something I am willing to do, that might meet my need and the other’s need? © FreeStanding Agility 2012-2013 8 Scrum Master Skills Key Distinctions to Make OBSERVATION vs. Judgment, Evaluation, Interpretation She came in 15 minutes after the meeting started. vs. She is always late for meetings. He did not attend the meeting. vs. He blew off the meeting again. © FreeStanding Agility 2012-2013 4&
  7. 7. 9/6/13& 9 Scrum Master Skills Key Distinctions to Make FEELINGS THOUGHTS vs. Feeling word (see list) I feel mad/sad/glad I am curious… I’m angry/upset… I feel alarmed… I’m worried… I feel it’s important… I feel you should… I feel disrespected… I feel ignored… I feel criticized… © FreeStanding Agility 2012-2013 10 Scrum Master Skills Key Distinctions to Make NEED (universal) vs. Need/ Value (see list) STRATEGY What to do / Action to take I value having choice/options. I care about including everyone. I really want team work & collaboration… You need to…. I want you to … I believe it is time …. Accountability means a lot to me. Clear communication is really important to me. © FreeStanding Agility 2012-2013 5&
  8. 8. 9/6/13& 11 Scrum Master Skills Key Distinctions to Make REQUEST DEMAND vs. 1.  For Connection a. Would you be willing to tell me what’s going on for you? Hearing NO is not acceptable to you. b. Would you be willing to tell me what you understand I’m saying? 2. For Action Would you be willing to …? © FreeStanding Agility 2012-2013 12 Scrum Master Skills Key Distinctions Recap OBSERVATION VS. EVALUATION, JUDGMENT, INTERPRETATION FEELINGS VS. THOUGHTS NEED VS. STRATEGY REQUEST VS. DEMAND © FreeStanding Agility 2012-2013 6&
  9. 9. 9/6/13& 13 Scrum Master Skills PART A: Understanding YOURSELF O 1. OBSERVATION: What did the person say or do? What is a concrete, verifiable description all can agree on? Free of your judgments, evaluations, interpretations. F 2. FEELING: What am I feeling? An emotion, sensation I experience in my body. This is very different from my thoughts – things I tell myself in my head. e.g., I feel mad/upset/hurt vs. I feel disrespected N 3. ** What do I NEED or VALUE in this situation? ** Awareness of my core needs/values in the moment helps me translate my judgment of wrongness of the other into clarity about what my unmet needs are in the moment. (See NEEDS list) R 4. What’s my REQUEST of the other or myself? Is there a strategy, something I am willing to do, that might meet my need and the other’s need? © FreeStanding Agility 2012-2013 14 Scrum Master Skills PART B: Curiosity About the OTHER O 1. OBSERVATION: What did the person say or do? What is a concrete, verifiable description all can agree on? Free of any judgments, evaluations, interpretations. F 2. FEELING: What might they be feeling? An emotion, sensation experience in their body? EG: Are they feeling mad/upset/hurt? vs. Defensive N 3. ** What might THEY NEED or VALUE in this situation?** (See NEEDS list) © FreeStanding Agility 2012-2013 7&
  10. 10. 9/6/13& 15 Scrum Master Skills Opt-In Small Group Practice Pick one scenario to work with in your group. 1.  “There are too many meetings. I can’t get my work done.” 2.  “The P.O. is so disorganized! I hate these backlog grooming meetings.” ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ a.  Observation or Evaluation? (If evaluation, what might be an observation? b.  What might the speaker be feeling? c.  What would you guess is the speaker’s need? d.  What possible request might the speaker make? © FreeStanding Agility 2012-2013 16 Scrum Master Skills Continue Your NVC Learning © FreeStanding Agility 2012-2013 8&
  11. 11. 9/6/13& 17 Scrum Master Skills Continue Your NVC Learning Center for Nonviolent Communication www.cnvc.org PuddleDancer Press www.puddledancerpress.com Pat Arcady’s blog posts @ www.FreeStandingAgility.com (fixin’ to start) Attend NVC-Agile daylong training class with Pat www.FreeStandingAgility.com © FreeStanding Agility 2012-2013 18 THANK YOU FOR ATTENDING & PARTICIPATING! I APPRECIATE THE CHANCE TO SHARE AND LEARN TOGETHER. © FreeStanding Agility 2012-2013 9&

×