Etiquette is a set of rules that allow us to interact with others in a civilized manner Etiquette is dependent on culture, you cannot assume that what is excellent etiquette in your society will be excellent etiquette in another society Etiquette can vary widely between different cultures and nations. For example, In China, when a person takes the last item of food from a common plate or bowl without first offering it to others at a table, how would you describe that person? [glutton and insulting the generosity of the host] In North America, this would be seen as a compliment to the quality of the cooking HISTORY: A lot of the formal etiquette that we see today originated in the French royal court during the 1600-1700’s. The nobles who lived at court did not work, and so they developed elaborate social customs so that they could pass the time because they were so bored. These nobles made a list of proper social behaviour and called it ‘Etiquette’. This word came from an old french word meaning ticket. This code of behaviour soon spread to other European courts and eventually was adopted by the upper classes throughout the Western World.
Foreign Language Skills alone are not enough There are aspects of effective intercultural communication that you must pay attention to: You must make sure that messages are communicated accurately You must make sure that messages are communicated appropriately
“Good Morning” is a greeting given to one whom you know only slightly or to anyone that you are passing quickly (explain how when I go on morning walks at home, every person I pass who is walking or walking their dog I say good morning to just out of respect) “How are you?” When you are saying this to someone you are usually not passing them by quickly, you use this phrase when you are not in a hurry because you actually want to know how the person is doing “Hello or Hi” is one of the most common greetings between good friends. Usually this is followed by a the persons name whom you are address. So for example if you were saying Hi to me you would say “Hi Tamara” or “Hello Tamara” (include hey, what’s up, how’s it going)
General Rule is that you introduce other people to the person you wish to honour In General social situations, a man is introduced to the woman first In business situations, the person with the highest rank is introduced first If it is a formal situation you must make sure you use the proper prefixes. For example, “Hi John, I would like to introduce you to Mrs. Thompson” When you are introducing individuals who have official titles, like a Senator or a Director you would introduce them like this: “John, I would like to introduce you to Senator William Brady”; You would also do the same thing if you are introducing an individual with an academic title for example: “John, I would like to introduce you to Doctor William Brady or Professor William Brady” CLASS PARTICIPATION: Do a skit to ensure understanding*** RISING AT INTRODUCTION: (man and host/hostess) A man always rises for an introduction, but it is alright for an elderly man to remain seated when a young man is being introduced to him INTRODUCING YOURSELF: If you want to meet someone, it is better that you ask a friend who knows him to introduce you. FORMALITY: It is always better to start off using the formal name of the person who you have been introduced to. For example, If you are being introduced to Mr. Thompson you should call him Mr. Thompson but if Mr. Thompson insists that you call him Jack instead, you may only then refer to him as Jack. MISTAKES: If the introducer gets your name wrong just simply say, Thank you, but my name is…. (This is a lot more polite than making the introducer feel bad) **ALSO don’t let it go by, much better to correct in the beginning) If you meet someone at a gathering you had previously met, DO NOT say, “Remember Me?” but instead just politely re-introduce yourself.
WHEN TO SHAKE HANDS: When you are greeting a client or host, or anyone you are meeting for the first time When you are renewing an acquaintance When you are concluding a transaction or a business deal When you are leaving a business or social event HOW TO SHAKE HANDS: Stand when you are being introduced and when you shake hands If you are at a party or a social gathering be sure to keep your right hand free as much as possible in order to shake hands Extend your hand grip the other persons hand so that the web of your thumb meets Avoid breaking eye contact in the duration of the handshake because it can be considered suspicious or even rude behaviour Only shake a few times and then end the handshake cleanly before the introduction is complete Make sure your grip is firm but not overpowering If your hands are full as you are being introduced, acknowledge the introduction by nodding your head In some southern states in the USA men may refrain from shaking hands with a woman unless she has first offered hers (well taught manners) FRENCH SPEAKING CANADIANS: shaking hands in a casual context is considered slightly unfriendly, especially between genders. What they do instead is embrace loosely while lightly kissing each others cheeks. This is more appropriate for friends and family. This is common between women and between men and women but it is not the ordinary custom between men, men embracing and kissing on the cheek is seen as unusual Holding hands while walking is done in many cultures but in the west it only has a romantic meaning behind it or the only other time you would see it would be between mothers and small children in large areas like the mall (explain how I used to have that happen to me and hate it)
PRESENTATION: Cards are presented type side up, Read the card carefully (ask how they present cards in China) HOW THEY ARE GIVEN OUT: High Ranking persons ask lower ranking persons for their cards; do not give a card out to a person of a higher rank that you unless you are asked Do not give out your card unselectively (explain what that means)
DISCREET: be discreet in handing out cards at private functions; this should be done in relative privacy Make sure you business cards are up to date and have all the correct information, Do not give out your card if it does not meet these standards Carry a business card with you at all times, you never know when you will need it. Business cards should NEVER appear during meals. If someone requested you business card during a dinner hand out your card discreetly at the close of the meals, during coffee, or as you are leaving the table
STANDING: Back: straight and firm Head: held high Arms: by your side or in front of you DO NOT: slouch, stick your belly out, put your hands in your pocket, or fold your arms SITTING Back: kept straight Legs: in front of you with your knees together or crossed either at the knees or at the ankles DO NOT spread your legs apart INTRODUCTIONS WHILE SITTING: If you are sitting, stand up when you are being introduced and squarely face the person before shaking hands
COME HERE: rarely made to a superior but used commonly among peers or when you are summoning service personnel PEACE SIGN: the peace sign is also known as the V for Victory sign, it is used to signify peace or victory. If it is done with the palm in for the British it is offensive (In business it is likely to be used for its V for victory meaning THUMBS UP: NORTH AMERICA: this means that all is well, or that everything is good. If you put a backwards tilt on it, that gesture is used for hitchhiking OK SIGN: North America: All is well France: Zero or Nothing Denmark or Italy: Insult Brazil, Guatemala and Paraguay: seen as very obscene POINTING: Used to designate an object or a person Pointing at objects: not seen as rude and seen as useful for foreigners (explain how I use it in China) Pointing at people: not polite In many cultures pointing is done with a nod or a shake in order to determine if you like something or not
*make a skit with groups of 3, about one of the topics discussed during the lesson, will be presented next class
Western etiquette. Lesson one.
Western Etiquette Welcome!
Today’s Agenda <ul><li>Introducing Etiquette </li></ul><ul><li>Discussing the Etiquette of Greeting </li></ul><ul><li>Body Language and Gestures </li></ul>
History of Etiquette <ul><li>What is the meaning of etiquette? </li></ul><ul><li>Where did etiquette come from? </li></ul>
Purposes of Etiquette <ul><li>Improves language skills </li></ul><ul><li>Helps you learn more about the cultures and etiquette of Western Nations </li></ul><ul><li>Helps you develop cultural awareness and improve intercultural communication competence </li></ul>
Etiquette of Greeting <ul><li>Greetings </li></ul><ul><li>Different ways of greeting certain individuals </li></ul><ul><li>What does this mean? </li></ul>
Introductions <ul><li>How to introduce people </li></ul><ul><li>General Rule </li></ul><ul><li>Prefixes or address </li></ul><ul><li>How to handle mistakes in introductions </li></ul>
Shaking Hands <ul><li>When to shake hands </li></ul><ul><li>How to shake hands </li></ul><ul><li>Some exceptions </li></ul><ul><li>Cultural exceptions </li></ul>
Business Cards <ul><li>*Do not automatically offer your card and do not expect cards from those you meet* </li></ul><ul><li>How to present your card </li></ul><ul><li>How business cards are given out </li></ul>
Business Cards (Continued) <ul><li>Be Discreet </li></ul><ul><li>Valid business cards </li></ul><ul><li>When to carry business cards </li></ul><ul><li>When you should NOT give out business cards </li></ul>
Body Language and Gestures <ul><li>Proper Body Language when standing </li></ul><ul><li>Proper Body Language when sitting </li></ul><ul><li>Introductions while you are sitting </li></ul>
Finger Gestures <ul><li>The “come here” gesture </li></ul><ul><li>The peace sign </li></ul><ul><li>Thumbs up or Thumbs Down </li></ul><ul><li>The “OK” sign </li></ul><ul><li>Pointing </li></ul>
Discussion <ul><li>What do you think? Let’s discuss! </li></ul>
Homework <ul><li>In groups of 3, make a skit that you will have to present to the class next week </li></ul><ul><li>Set up groups in class right now </li></ul><ul><li>Some of you will do the good and some will do the bad. Groups that do the bad must explain why their way was the wrong way. </li></ul>