1. Reducing Stress through More
Effective Communication
David Wheeler, MA, MS, CH/FS,
Wellness & Health Recovery Coordinator,
Premier Health & Fitness Center,
Tallahassee, Florida
September 5, 2012

2. True freedom is found in the ability
to pause between stimulus and response
and in that pause to choose.
Rollo May, MD,
Psychiatrist—Philosopher

3.  Limbic system
“Primitive”
“Reptilian”
“Old brain”
Reacts to
stimulus
● emotionally
● without
thought

4. Prefrontal cortex:
“This area of the
brain is thought to
be involved in
planning
complex cognitive
behaviors and in
the expression of
personality and
appropriate social
behavior.”
www.brainexplorer.org/ glossary/
prefrontal_cortex.shtml (italics mine)

5. “appropriate social behavior”
 Tell us an example of a stressful interpersonal
communication when there was a breach in
“appropriate social behavior.”
 Tell us an example of a stressful interpersonal
communication when “appropriate social behavior”
was maintained.
 What was the difference between the two examples?
 What can we learn from this?

6. Can we agree on a few assumptions?
 You cannot not communicate.
 Communication may be emotionally
positive
negative
neutral
emotional content is dependent on both
● the sender: what they meant to convey
● the receiver: what they heard, understood,
interpreted, reacted to

7. more assumptions
 Both the sender and receiver are responsible* for
the clarity
the meaning
the interpretation
the implications
of the message
* to some (varying) degree

8.  Dialogue
Definition of terms
 a conversation between two or more persons
 an exchange of ideas and opinions
 a discussion between representatives of parties to a conflict
that is aimed at resolution
 Diatribe
 archaic: a prolonged discourse
 a bitter and abusive speech or piece of writing
 ironic or satirical criticism
 Monologue: a long speech monopolizing conversation
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary

9. The Dialogic Model
 Reflection
after listening carefully to the sender’s message
● listening, not formulating your response
● listening, not focusing on your reaction to message
“let me see if I got that right”
paraphrase what you believe the other person meant
conclude with, “did I get that right?”
keep the process going until you hear, “yes”

10. The Dialogic Model
 Invitation to Expand
 “Is there more about that?”
 listen to what else they have to say
 repeat the Reflection process
● “let me see if I got that right”
● paraphrase what you believe the other person meant
● conclude with, “did I get that right?”
● keep the process going until you hear, “yes.”
 repeat Invitation to Expand until you hear, “no.”

11. The Dialogic Model
 Empathy
is not sympathy, “I feel sorry for you.”
is not identification, “I understand you because
you’re like me.”
it is, “I understand you because you’re like you.”
“That makes sense because I know you to be a
person who believes A, cares about B, wants C, feels
[emotion] about D, etc.”
Check it out, “Does that fit?”

12. The Dialogic Model
 Empathy, continued
“Does that fit?”
hear their answer
● yes
● no
● sort-of
“is there more about that”
keep process going until you hear that your
empathy statement fits

13. The Dialogic Model
 More about empathy
nothing worse than empathy that’s
● fake
● cheap
● off target
it requires some real personal knowledge of the
person (not likely to work with strangers)
it requires some “emotional intelligence”
don’t be afraid to stop at Reflection & Invitation

14. The Dialogic Model
 Empathy is like Chinese food.
When it’s good, it’s great.
When it’s bad, it’s horrible.
When it’s on target
● stress decreases (psychophysiology research)
● the relationship is strengthened
● people may become more open (two-edged sword)
 It’s strong medicine. Be careful.

15. Activity Break: Brain Gym
“Lazy 8’s” or ∞ “infinity symbol”
Elbow to Knee
Palm to Sole
Lock-Ups

16. The Dialogic Model Reviewed
 Reflection
 “let me see if I got that right”
 “did I get that right?”
 keep the process going until you hear, “yes.”
 Invitation to Expand
 “Is there more about that?”
 Empathy
 “That makes sense because I know you to be a person
who believes A, cares about B, wants C, feels [emotion]
about D, etc.”
 “Does that fit?”

17. Practice, Practice, Practice
 Break up into pairs
take turns sending and receiving
I’ll come around and kibitz
keep it brief
after everyone has had a turn
● come back together
● we’ll process the experience

18. Deep Diaphragmatic Breathing
 Our “default mode” of
breathing
 Associated with
relaxation response
 Chest breathing
associated with stress
response

19. Deep Diaphragmatic Breathing
 Precautions: diabetes, asthma,
COPD
 Assume this position
 Notice as you take a deep
inhalation which expands
chest?
belly?
 Relax muscles of neck, shoulders,
chest, abdomen, hips and pelvis

20. Deep Diaphragmatic Breathing
 Continue slow, deep breaths
 Expand the abdomen as you inhale
 Relax the abdomen as you exhale
 Count slowly 1, 2, 3, 4 as you inhale
 Pause
 Count slowly 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 as
you exhale
 Keep practicing until it becomes
automatic

21. Questions, Comments, Discussion

22. About Well Wise Health Screenings
 Could you be at risk for
heart disease, stroke,
diabetes or other health
threats?
 Our Well Wise health
screenings are designed
to identify health risks so
that action can be taken
to reduce them.

23. About Well Wise Health Screenings
 In five minutes from a simple
finger stick
 total cholesterol
 LDL, HDL
 triglycerides
 glucose
 Plus
 height, weight, BMI
 blood pressure
 pulse
 Personal Wellness Profile™
 online HRA
 personalized report
 employer report
 Online Wellness Center™
 All this for only $45
 For large-enough groups
delivered on-site
 By appointment at Premier
Health & Fitness Center

24. A Word About Me
 American College of Sports Medicine Certified
Health/Fitness Specialist
 Available for health/fitness instruction
 With individuals or pairs
 specializing in
● fit, healthy and want to stay that way
● older, less fit, less healthy, physician
referred
 Health Coaching
 With individuals or small groups
 Complimentary consultation call 431-4835
 Also available for organizational consultation

25. Thank You!
Please complete Program Evaluation
Anonymously
Honestly
Forthrightly