The Humorous Side Of Performance Appraisal

THE HUMOROUS SIDE OF PERFORMANCE APPRAISAL

Ever heard your senior management tell you that you approach difficult problems with logic? Or that you accept new jobs willingly? Or that you display great dexterity and agility?

You smile, pull your collar up and pat yourself on the shoulder congratulating yourself for yet another grand performance appraisal.

Performance appraisal, Performance evaluation and performance reviews. What exactly are they?

Performance appraisal, evaluation or review, whatever you may call it, is an indispensable and valuable process, which provides annual or periodic feedback to staff members in regard to their job effectiveness and career guidance.

It usually is intended to be a fair and balanced assessment of an employee's performance.

PERFORMANCE APPRAISAL TERMS AND THEIR REAL MEANINGS

TERM NO 1
You are an average employee.
Hey You! Sorry, but there is nothing special about you and No you are not the brightest star that you think you are.

TERM NO 2
You are exceptionally well qualified.
It simply means that you have made no major blunders. YET . Beware. We have got our eyes on you.

TERM NO 3
You have a zealous attitude.
You , my friend, have an opinion about everything.

TERM NO 4
You plan for advancement.
Wow. You plan ahead and buy drinks for all the boys. You even socialize well.

TERM NO 5
You are forceful...
We notice that you are argumentative and should learn Who is Boss and Who is NOT!

TERM NO 6
You are a careful thinker.
Buddy, Why won’t make a decision when you need to??

TERM NO 7
You have leadership qualities.
My My, you are super tall and have a very loud voice.

TERM NO 8
You are Career-Minded.
It simply means that you are very focused on your career and do not mind over shining your colleagues to be noticed. Well Done!

TERM NO 9
You are an Independent Thinker.
You actually work on your own and nobody knows what work you do. Sigh!

TERM NO 10
You are a forward thinker.
You love to procrastinate. Get a move on buddy!

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The Humorous Side Of Performance Appraisal

by Stratum Consulting on Sep 22, 2009

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