The Pregnant Goldfish’s Guide to
http://www.somatica.co.uk

Are you a
The Pregnant Goldfish’s Guide to
Pregnant Goldfish?
What’s ?
Getting Started
Tips, tricks and lingo
http://www.somatica.co.uk

The Concept
http://www.somatica.co.uk

The Concept
Look at me
and all my
followers
...said the Pregnant Goldfish
http://www.somatica.co.uk

The Concept, on a much grander “scale”
(this wasn’t just thrown together you know! Fish...scale.)
http://www.somatica.co.uk

The Concept, on a much grander “scale”
(this wasn’t just thrown together you know! Fish...scale.)
Look at me
and all my
Look at me followers
Look at us!
and all my
followers
e
at m
L o o k a ll m y
a n d we rs
e
at m f o ll o
L o o k a ll m y
a n d we rs
o
f o ll
e
at m
L o o k a ll m y
a n d o we rs
e
at m
f o ll
L o o k a ll m y
a n d o we rs
f o ll
Look at me
and all my
followers
e
at m
L o o k a ll m y
Look at me
a n d we rs
and all my
o
f o ll
followers
Look at me
and all my
e
at m followers
L o o k a ll m y
a n d we rs
o ll o
f
e
at m
L o o k a ll m y
e
at m
L o o k a ll m y a n d we rs
o
a n d o we rs f o ll
f o ll
e
at m
L o o k a ll m y
a n d o we rs
o ll
f
e
at m
L o o k a ll m y
a n d o we rs
f o ll
...said the Pregnant Goldfishes
http://www.somatica.co.uk

Are you a pregnant goldfish?
Reasons for a Pregnant Goldfish joining
• To get loads and loads of followers
• To become famous
• To talk directly with the “stars”
• To tell their friends they are on
http://www.somatica.co.uk

Are you a pregnant goldfish?
Reasons for a Pregnant Goldfish joining
• To get loads and loads of followers
• To become famous
• To talk directly with the “stars”
• To tell their friends they are on
An interesting quote, which may apply to Pregnant Goldfish
“Using Twitter suggests a level of insecurity whereby, unless
people recognise you, you cease to exist.”
Dr David Lewis, Cognitive Neuropsychologist
http://www.somatica.co.uk

Reality Check!
http://www.somatica.co.uk

Reality Check!
• If you’re not famous already, the chances are you
won’t become famous by using
• Although thousands of people are trying really hard
• So what is all the fuss about?
• What is ?
http://www.somatica.co.uk

What is ?
http://www.somatica.co.uk

What is ?
• It’s a bunch of people talking to each other
• Using a maximum 140 Characters at a time
• Everyone has a unique name
• To see what people are saying you have to find them
and follow them
• People can find you and follow you
• If you’re both following each other you can have a
conversation via t witter
• Publicly or Privately
http://www.somatica.co.uk

What is ?
http://www.somatica.co.uk

What is ?
• It’s officially called a “micro-blog”, which is a fancy
title for something which is like:-
• The status update in
• Mobile phone SMS/Texting
• Chat rooms/Forums/Blogs
• MSN Messenger/Instant Messenger IM
• Twitter can be used in the same way as all of the
above
http://www.somatica.co.uk

How do I get Started?
http://www.somatica.co.uk

How do I get Started?
Go to http:/ witter.com
/t
Click on “Get Started-Join!”
Find a name (Best if it represents your own!)
Then complete the other stuff
You’re in.
http://www.somatica.co.uk

Now what do I do?
http://www.somatica.co.uk

Now what do I do?
• At this point you will have :-
• 0 Followers; 0 Following; 0 Updates
• Your profile will be blank
• You will have no picture other than this
• To be “
attractive” and “interesting” to others you need to
think very carefully about your profile
• Make it relevant with key terms (You will appear in the Twitter
search results for such terms)
• Load a decent picture (be careful, some picture raise an alarm and
can cause your account to be suspended)
• Then...
http://www.somatica.co.uk

Find People You Like
http://www.somatica.co.uk

Find People You Like
• You can do this a number of ways:
• Invite your friends by email or contacts you have in other online
locations
• Be adventurous and search for people you may know; may want
to know, famous people you like; even organisations you like
• You’ll be surprised at who pops up
• Twitter also recommends a number of people and organisations
you may/may not find interesting
http://www.somatica.co.uk

What does this do?
http://www.somatica.co.uk

What does this do?
• You can see what the people you choose to follow
are saying.
• Directly from their finger tips, even very famous people
(if it is them doing it...but that’s a different story)
• By following others, you will become more visible as
your picture will be displayed in their followers list
• Usually, but not always, so please don’t be offended,
if you follow someone they will follow you back.
• Your profile plays a key part in this decision process
• Be aware, some people have big ego’s and like to be akin
to the Pied Piper of Hamelin
http://www.somatica.co.uk

What next?
http://www.somatica.co.uk

What next?
• As soon as you have some followers, your updates
can be seen by others
• If your updates or “Tweets” as they are known are
interesting and written well (you’ve only got 140 characters) :
• You will have people following you who you have never
heard of before
• You will then check them out and make your own mind up
whether or not you follow them back
• BE AWARE - the more people you follow, the more “noise
management” will be required by you
• You have the option to “unfollow” and “block” if you wish
http://www.somatica.co.uk

So what’s the point
of ?
http://www.somatica.co.uk

So what’s the point
of ?
• It’s conversation - in an online fragmented form
• It’s for sharing
• Common interests
• Points of view
• News
• Organising things (sometimes at very short notice)
• Insider information or “whispers”
• Humour
• Directing/pointing people to interesting places on the web
• Discounts and offers
http://www.somatica.co.uk

is not about?
http://www.somatica.co.uk

is not about?
• How great you are
• What you had for lunch
Me Me Me!
• How drunk you are
• Selling stuff
• Broadcast marketing
• Sharing private conversations in public
• Direct Message is for this...not Replies!
• Pretending to be someone else
That’s what Pregnant Goldfishes do!
http://www.somatica.co.uk

lingo,
tips & tricks
http://www.somatica.co.uk

lingo,
tips & tricks
Some stuff:
• Tweet - A status update
• Tweeter - A member of the Twitter community
• Twittering - Being active on Twitter
• Replies - A PUBLIC reply (all your followers will see it) to a fellow
t weeter. Can be carried out by placing an “ at the beginning
@”
of a t weet, immediately followed by the t weeter’s name
http://www.somatica.co.uk

lingo,
tips & tricks
http://www.somatica.co.uk

lingo,
tips & tricks
More stuff:
• Direct Message - A PRIVATE message to a fellow t weeter.
Can be carried out by placing an “D” at the beginning of a
t weet, immediately followed by the @t weeter’s name. You
can ONLY Direct Message People who follow you.
http://www.somatica.co.uk

lingo,
tips & tricks
http://www.somatica.co.uk

lingo,
tips & tricks
More stuff:
• Ret weet - Transmitting a t weet by someone else. Use “RT”
and the @t weeter’s to spread an interesting t weet, that
you feel may be of interest to your followers.
• Point to note - being RT’d is a bit of a compliment; be careful
how you use it and how you respond to it. Some RT’ers
intentions are purely genuine - others are not so.
http://www.somatica.co.uk

lingo,
tips & tricks
http://www.somatica.co.uk

lingo,
tips & tricks
More stuff:
• Hashtag - Hashtags are a way of grouping conversations
around certain topics. A topic can be an abbreviation; a
word; anything alphanumeric really and is preceded by #.
If you’re a Mac user it can be found by pressing alt 3. They are a great way of joining
communities or TweetGroups
• Point to note - Follow “Hashtags” who will follow you in
return. This will ensure your hashtags are tracked.
http://www.somatica.co.uk

Other Tips
http://www.somatica.co.uk

Other Tips
• If your following/followers gets busy you can use various
applications to help you manage your t wittering. We’d
recommend Tweetdeck
• http://www.t weetdeck.com
• It’s worth keeping tabs on the Twitter blog for all the latest
updates to the application
• http://blog.t witter.com
• To keep up to date with the hashtags; to add yourself to the
community and see who is following what, visit
• http://wefollow.com
http://www.somatica.co.uk

Other Tips
http://www.somatica.co.uk

Other Tips
• It’s worth also noting that Twitter sometimes “creaks” due to
it’s popularity. Stick with it...all websites have issues and the
Twitter guys are very good at fixing stuff quickly
• Twitter Search - (used to be Summize) allows you to search
anything being t weeted. A great way to find conversations
and t weeters. Now added as a search box within your Twitter
homepage
• For more information...and one for the techies/geeks (no
offence), it is worth visiting the Twitter Fan Wiki
• http:/ witter.pbworks.com
/t
http://www.somatica.co.uk

Why ?
http://www.somatica.co.uk

Why ?
• Why not?
• It is the most popular of its kind; it’s free and it’s
easy to use
• Try it! If you don’t like it or don’t understand it stop
using it...simple.
• Word of warning - It can be addictive!
• It’s not for everyone, but a lot more people, from all
walks of life are using it
Don’t be a Pregnant Goldfish!
http://www.somatica.co.uk

We hope that was useful and made sense.
http://www.t witter.com/somatica
http://www.somatica.co.uk
engage-me@somatica.co.uk