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Humorous Philosophy

Humorous Philosophy



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Smiles Smiles Presentation Transcript

  • Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  • For every action,, there is an equal and opposite government program.
  • If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
  • A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
  • Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places .
  • You should not confuse your career with your life.
  • Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.
  • You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
  • There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
  • Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
  • It’s easier to get forgiveness than permission.
  • Don’t worry what people think, they don’t do it very often.
  • If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
  • Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
  • Thou shalt not weigh more than thy fridge.
  • A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
  • The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that , deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
  • It’s not the jeans that make your bum look fat ……… it’s the fat
  • Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
  • Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
  • Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.