Library Research:“Looking Through The Key Holes of Love & Infatuation” English02 Defense: March 17, 2012 Presented by: De Villa, Sherylen Gran, Ma. Angelica Marcos, Ilonah Marie Presented to: Soria, Racquel Kae Ms. Sybil Agreda
Love, love, love? This is the phrase we usually hear and it is most commonly known as a sensationthat we magically feel whenever the right person comes along. But do we really knowwhat love is. It is one of the most difficult questions for mankind. Many years havepassed by, relationships have blossomed and so has love. But no one can determinethe truth behind the meaning of love. To some, love is friendship set on fire that takesroot and grows, one day at a time. For others, maybe love is a pure leap of fate. It iswhere at the most unexpected moment it just suddenly comes around or sometimesyou even have to go all the way to find it. No matter how you define it or feel it, love isthe most essential act of the human person. All our knowledge of being and willing ofanything are based on this prehistoric act of loving.
Just like any other teenager, we have this moment in our lifewhere we get the feeling of havingthat one person we knew as Mr. orMrs. Right. It is an extreme emotionof ecstasy where your heart pound,made the sun brighten, and takenover all reasonable thought thatyou have in your dreams. It is whenreality is much better than yourdreams.
This intense feeling of love is somehow mistaken by manyof us. It is crazy little thing called love that everyone so desperatelyneeds. For some guys, they like girls because of their pretty facesand for the girls, they like guys because he is handsome or good-looking but this kind of “Cinderella Syndrome” when the girl iswaiting for her prince charming to come is not real love at all. It isbetter known as “Infatuation”, the state of being completely carriedaway by unreasoned passion or an addictive love where there iskeyhole between it and real love.
•We, the researchers hoped that the findings of thisstudy would enable the boys and girls to understand thedifference between love and infatuation.•Understanding this matter served as a guide to young people tobe open to the possibility that more good may be accomplishedby informing them of the facts and not by keeping them ignorantwith this matter. This study aims to present, in an open andforthright manner the differences between love andinfatuation. It will specifically answer the question onhow and why the two emotions differ.
Related literature A young person named Abigail Van Buren, the famous newspaper columnist said, when love hits you, you won’t just know for it can either be love or just mere infatuation. Infatuation is a strange mixture of sex and emotions. It is defined in the dictionary as “completely carried away by unreasoning passion or attraction”. It comes from the Latin word that means “silly or foolish”.
Related literature Clifford H. Swensen, has developed an instrumentthat assesses how love is manifested and to what extent itis expressed. Of course, love itself cannot be measureddirectly but the manifestations of love can be studied andgauged. He named this process of research as the loveinventory.
Argument The pendulum on the clock swung backand forth much like our mind does, which wasswinging between two possibilities – Was I inlove or was I just infatuated?
Stages of LOVE There are five stages of love. In order to know deeply whatlove is we have to know the stages that it undergoes. Infantile Love Filial Love Pre-adolescent Love Peer Love Mature Love
Types of LOVE There are 4 types of love: security love, friendship love,romantic love, and unconditional love. These types of love canalso be a basis in order for a person to know if it really is love thathe or she is currently feeling. 2. Friendship Love 3. Romantic love1. Security Love
4. Unconditional Love Lastly, the unconditional love is the sincerelove, the love that lasts forever. This kind oflove comes when you have found the personyou are destined to be with; this love is alsowhat we call true love.
Statistics •Research shows that the average college student willexperienced infatuation six to seven times and love once or twice. •One researcher conducted a study asking 500 young women ifthey felt they were in love right at that moment. •72% said they thought to some degree they were. •27% said they probably or certainly were not. • While most youth think they are in love, many express realdoubts about it. •In other words more than half felt unsure. And we canreasonably assure that many of those who reported they were inlove were actually experiencing infatuation.
FACTS Love and infatuation do have one thing incommon – strong feelings of affection for amember of the opposite sex, whichcomplicates the matter of sorting out thedifferences. The difference between thetwo is not found in its definition but insteadit is found on its degree.
Common Between Love and Infatuation• Love and infatuation share three similar symptoms: passion, nearness, and strange emotions.• Passion may be present without genuine love. It is entirely possible to feel passionate or to have strong sexual feelings for a person you have not even met.
Common Between Love and Infatuation• Likewise, the desire to be near one another constantly can be just as overwhelming in infatuation as in genuine love.• Experiencing strange emotions when you think about the other person is not valid either. You may feel like walking on air when everything is going well and downright ill when things go wrong. But this can happen just as frequently with real love as infatuation.
Truth About Love
Love Myth Love RealityTrue love conquers all. Love is not enough to make a relationship work—it needs compatibility and commitmentWhen it’s really true love, you It takes just a moment towill know it the moment you experience infatuation, butmeet the other person true love takes timeThere is only one true love in It is possible to experience truethe world that is right for you. love with more than one person—there are many potential partners you could be happy with.Your partner will fulfill and The right partner will fulfillprovide all of your needs. many of your needs but not all of them
Key holes betweenlove and infatuation
INFATUATIO LOVE NIs often based on nonsensical attributes Looks deeply into the compatibility ofsuch as the way a person walks or laughs. character traits, shared values andLittle things “send” you. common interest.Often depends largely on physical Considers other factors besides physicalattraction-the chills, thrills, heartthrobs attraction. Physical attraction will makeand Goosebumps felt when touching the up a smaller portion of the totalother person relationship.Often has a destructive and disorganizing Brings out the best in you, promotingeffect on the personality, causing you to personal growth, self-respect,ambition,forget the realities of life. and improvement.Often keeps you idealizing the other Takes time to develop and mature. Just asperson so that you are unwilling to admit it takes times to grow, it also takes timeany faults might exist for genuine love to end.
INFATUATIO LOVE NOften keep you idealizing the other Recognizing fine qualities, but alsoperson so that you are unwilling to admit recognizes qualities that are less thanany faults might exist. perfect.Often causes family and friends to Brings approval of family and friends. Theydisapprove of your choice. can see what your relationship does for both of you.Often dies quickly when the other person Can survive a separation.is gone.Often includes frequent quarrels, Reduces tension as you work toward openarguments, and misunderstandings as a discussion for solving problems withoutconsistent part of the relationship. arguing.Is more interested in what you can get Is interested in sharing and giving to bringfrom the relationship. happiness and security to the other.
INFATUATIO LOVE N Often includes frequent and severe Promotes trust and security, which feelings of jealousy. enables you to release the other person. Is generally used to describe past Usually describes present relationships, relationships. Often focuses on unsuitable persons. Is more often directed to suitable persons.Often includes frequent feelings of guilt, Is characterized by feelings of self- insecurity, and frustation. confidence, trust, and security. Is most frequent among young Grows over a period of time with adolescents and immature persons. emotional & biological maturity. Can occur easily immediately after a Will develop slowly following a previousprevious love relationship has just ended. love affair.
INFATUATION LOVEIs often followed by boredom once sexual Produces an ongoing sense of interest andexcitement dies off. joy when together.Requires that the couple must depend on Sparks interest in each other andexternal amusement in order to enjoy commonly shared activities.themselves.Changes your relationship very little even Changes and grows deeper with ongoingthough you go together for a long time. association.Is often accompanied by shallow feelings Provides a climate of deepening feelingsand sensations that simply “send” you. and growing intimacy as you share more of life with your lover.Often lasts only a short time. Tends to last for a long period of time.Often exploits the other person to your Protects, nurtures, and cares for theadvantage. other person.Is always a poor basis for marriage Is enough to build a marriage on—if all other factors are right.
Conclusion Nowadays, people often fall into arelationship full of confusions and doubts.These were the questions being ponderedupon by persons undergoing the 2 puzzlingemotions: Asking how a particular feelingshould be accessed or valued. How they knowthat they are really in love? Or else if they onlyfeel infatuated?
•In this research, the differences betweenlove and infatuation were presented fairly andclearly provided with the review of relatedliterature of each topic. • Love and infatuation are the two puzzlingemotions that a person feels. Based on thesignificant findings of the study, the followingconclusions were made:
Studies shows that majority of the young people are confused of their feelings whether they are in love or not. It is therefore to conclude that in coming up with a decision;each individual should first analyze and take a deep understandingof how he or she feels. It is not always about the physical appearance that matters fora person to jump up with a conclusion and assumed that they arealready in love because you may misinterpret your feelings thatwill result to a ruined relationship.
Factors such as passion, nearness, and strong emotions mustbe well evaluated in order to know the difference between the 2emotions. The list of keyholes and truths about love & infatuation can bea guideline to young people and will truly help them to specificallydifferentiate the 2 puzzling emotions. It is highlighted in this study that love is all about the reality notyour dreams and not how you think about it.
Recommendations/ Tips/ Advices
Define love by its degree for feelings cannot exactlybe defined through words and also be aware ofmoments when you feel love towards anyone oranything.Consider your motives, what are you each gettingfrom the situation, especially if it is progressing tooquickly.Think about whether youd feel the same way if theother persons looks were to change or is it justattraction.
Passion, Intimacy, and Commitment. See to it thatyou understand the meaning behind those 3significant words, for these words would guide youthrough the journey of your relationship.Endure for a time. Time does seem to be the onlyhealer. Have some time for yourself instead of lookingfor love so desperately to avoid having a relationshipthat was founded by false love, which is infatuation.Accept the facts that sometimes love does fail for ithas become its natural cycle.
ReferencesFabella, D. A., & Angel, M. A. (2002). The best of love, courtship, & marriage. Manila: Phillippine Publishing House.Pelt, N. V. (1989). The compleat courtship. Manila: Philippine Publishing House.Anonymous. (2003) The new international webters comprehensive dictionary of the english language. Florida: Typhoon International Corporation.De Angelis, B. (1992). Are you the one for me? New York, New York: Dell Publishing.Ashleyv. (2009, December 1). Love or infatuation – the eternal debate. Retrieved March 16, 2012 from www.authspot.com/thoughts/love-or- infatuation-the-eternal-debate/C, Krystal. (2010). How to define love. Retrieved March 17, 2012 from www.wikihow.com/Define-LoveAnonymous. (2002). What is love. Retrieved March 17, 2012 fromwww.love-sessions.com/whatislove.htm