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Famous Quotation 1 Document Transcript

  • 1. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about WORK (and the Workplace) Chosen and Arranged by Ernie J. Zelinski
  • 2. 1001 Best ThingsEver Said about WORK(and the Workplace)Chosen and Arranged by Ernie J. Zelinski
  • 3. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job COPYRIGHT © 2008 by Ernie J. Zelinski MOST RIGHTS RESERVEDYou have permission to post, e-mail, and pass this valuableE-book along for free to anyone you like, as long as you makeno changes to its contents or format. The right to use materialfrom this E-book in other forms is prohibited. You can havethe movie rights, however, provided that you share half of theprofits with Ernie Zelinski and give him the starring role alongwith Sharon Stone. Direct all other inquiries to: Ernie Zelinski VIP BOOKS P.O. Box 4072 Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, T6E 4S8 Phone 780-434-9202 www.the joyofnotworking.com www.retirement-quotes.com ii
  • 4. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) Introduction"It is a good thing for an educated man," declaredWinston Churchill, "to read books of quotations."Anatole France advised, "When a thing has been saidand said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it."Not to be outdone, George Bernard Shaw onceremarked, "I often quote myself. It adds spice to myconversations." No doubt few things spice up an article, a book, aconversation, or a speech more than a well-chosenquotation. Given that work is one of the most writtenand talked about subjects in Western society, thereshould be a free E-book of great quotations aboutwork and the workplace. This is the book! Organized into over 125 categories for easyreference, this is the ultimate guide about work forthe professional speaker, journalist, author, careeradvisor, life coach, and connoisseur of greatquotations. It also makes great reading for just abouteveryone. This book has it all: Wisdom. Ridicule. Irony.Sarcasm. Paradox. Nonsense. Comedy. Mockery.Social commentary. Valuable insight. All told, youhave in your possession the 1001 best things eversaid about work and the workplace. iii
  • 5. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job Table of ContentsNote: To go directly to any of the subjects listed below, placeyour cursor on the respective subject. Ability ...........................................................................1 Accomplishing the Impossible .................................2 Action...........................................................................4 Aggravations of Work ................................................5 Ambition .....................................................................8 Artists at Work ........................................................ 10 Bad Days at Work ................................................... 12 Boring Work ............................................................. 13 Breaking New Ground ........................................... 15 Bureaucracy............................................................. 16 Busyness ................................................................. 17 Careers..................................................................... 19 Career Advice ......................................................... 20 Change in the Workplace ..................................... 23 Committees.............................................................. 24 Communication in the Workplace ........................ 26 Competence ........................................................... 27 Competition ............................................................. 29 Computers .............................................................. 31 Creativity in the Workplace.................................... 34 Crisis Management................................................. 36 Dating People at Work .......................................... 37 Delegation................................................................ 37 iv
  • 6. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) Table of Contents (Continued)Note: To go directly to any of the subjects listed below, placeyour cursor on the respective subject. Difficulty at Work ..................................................... 39 Diplomacy in the Workplace ................................ 40 Dream Jobs ............................................................ 41 Dress in the Workplace.......................................... 42 Earning a Living ..................................................... 44 Eccentrics at Work ................................................. 45 Education and Training .......................................... 47 Efficiency and Efficient Workers ........................... 50 Enjoyment of Work ................................................. 52 Equality .................................................................... 55 Evils of Work ........................................................... 59 Excellence at Work ................................................. 61 Experience ............................................................... 63 Experts and Specialists in the Workplace........... 64 Failure ...................................................................... 66 Freedom and Work ................................................. 69 Friends and Work.................................................... 70 Fun in the Workplace ............................................. 71 Geniuses at Work ................................................... 73 Getting Employment .............................................. 74 Getting Fired ........................................................... 76 Goals ......................................................................... 78 Government Workers ............................................. 81 Gratitude for Work .................................................. 82 v
  • 7. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job Table of Contents (Continued)Note: To go directly to any of the subjects listed below, placeyour cursor on the respective subject. Happiness in the Workplace ................................ 83 Hard Work ................................................................ 85 Hard Work and Wealth........................................... 87 Haste ......................................................................... 88 Having a Balanced Lifestyle .................................. 90 Health in the Workplace......................................... 93 Hiring the Right People ......................................... 94 Holidays and Vacations ........................................ 97 Housework ............................................................... 99 Humor in the Workplace ......................................100 Ideas .......................................................................103 Idleness ..................................................................105 Ignorance ...............................................................107 Imagination ............................................................107 Incompetence .......................................................109 Innovation ..............................................................110 Integrity in the Workplace ....................................111 Intellectual Work ..................................................112 Intelligence in the Workplace .............................113 Jobs ........................................................................114 Job Security ..........................................................116 Knowledge .............................................................117 Laziness .................................................................117 Leadership .............................................................120 vi
  • 8. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) Table of Contents (Continued)Note: To go directly to any of the subjects listed below, placeyour cursor on the respective subject. Leisure and Work .................................................124 Leisurely Lifestyle .................................................126 Life and Work ........................................................128 Life-Long Career ...................................................129 Loving Your Work .................................................129 Luck.........................................................................132 Management ..........................................................133 Manual Labor ........................................................136 Marriage and Work ...............................................138 Meetings .................................................................139 Mistakes ................................................................140 Morality of Work ....................................................142 Motivation to Work ................................................142 Multi-Tasking ........................................................143 New Ventures ........................................................145 Not Working for a Living ......................................145 Obvious Solutions .................................................146 Opportunity ...........................................................146 Overwork ..............................................................147 Paperwork ..............................................................150 Patience ................................................................151 Perfection ...............................................................152 Persistence ...........................................................154 Plans .......................................................................155 vii
  • 9. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job Table of Contents (Continued)Note: To go directly to any of the subjects listed below, placeyour cursor on the respective subject. Power......................................................................156 Praise and Recognition........................................157 Pride........................................................................158 Problem Solving ...................................................158 Procrastination ......................................................161 Productivity in the Workplace ...........................163 Professions and Professionals ...........................165 Progress ................................................................167 Promotions ............................................................169 Punctuality in the Workplace ..............................170 Purpose of Work ..................................................171 Research and Reports .........................................173 Results ...................................................................174 Retirement from Work ..........................................175 Rewards from Work .............................................178 Risk Taking ............................................................179 Rocking the Boat ..................................................180 Rules in the Workplace .......................................181 Rules of Work .......................................................182 Quitting Work ........................................................183 Salaries and Wages ............................................185 Schedules .............................................................186 Secrets to Success at Ones Work.....................187 Self-Employment...................................................188 viii
  • 10. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) Table of Contents (Continued)Note: To go directly to any of the subjects listed below, placeyour cursor on the respective subject. Shabby Work .........................................................189 Speech Making ....................................................190 Statistics .................................................................192 Stress in the Workplace ......................................193 Success ..................................................................194 Talent .....................................................................197 Teamwork ..............................................................198 Time Management ...............................................200 Unemployment .....................................................202 Unions .....................................................................204 Unusual Ways to Earn a Living .........................205 Vocations ..............................................................207 Wasted Time ........................................................208 Winners and Losers ............................................209 Workaholics ...........................................................211 Working for Free ...................................................213 Working Fools ........................................................213 Worry and Work ....................................................214 Work Ethic .............................................................216 Working Smart and Not Hard..............................217 Writers at Work ....................................................219 Zen at Work ...........................................................221 About the Author ...................................................222 ix
  • 11. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) AbilityThe difference between what we do and whatwe are capable of doing would suffice to solvemost of the worlds problems.— Mohandas GandhiExecutive ability is deciding quickly andgetting somebody else to do the work.— John G. PollardYoure no good unless you are a goodassistant; and if you are, youre too good to bean assistant.— Martin H. Fischer 1
  • 12. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobDo not let what you cannot do interfere withwhat you can do.— John WoodenThere are two kinds of people who neveramount to much: those who cannot do whatthey are told, and those who can do nothingelse.— Cyrus CurtisWith my brains and your looks, we could goplaces.— Actor John Garfield in the movie ThePostman Always Rings Twice Accomplishing the ImpossibleMan is the only creature that strives tosurpass himself, and yearns for theimpossible.— Eric HofferThe difficult we do immediately, theimpossible takes a little longer.— World War II military slogan 2
  • 13. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)The only way of discovering the limits of thepossible is to venture a little ways past theminto the impossible.— Arthur C. ClarkeA great pleasure in life is doing what peoplesay you cannot do.— Walter GagehotMan is always more than he can know ofhimself; consequently, his accomplishments,time and again, will come as a surprise to him.— Golo MannAccomplishing the impossible means only thatthe boss will add it to your regular duties.— Doug Larson 3
  • 14. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job ActionThe great end of life is notknowledge but action.— Thomas Henry HuxleyAction should culminate inwisdom.— Bhagavad GitaInaction may be the highestform of action.— Jerry BrownThere is nothing brilliant nor outstanding in myrecord, except perhaps this one thing: I do thethings that I believe ought to be done .... Andwhen I make up my mind to do a thing, I act.— Theodore RooseveltSo many worlds, so much to do,So little done, such things to be.— Lord Tennyson 4
  • 15. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) Aggravations of WorkIf you have a job without aggravations, youdont have a job.— Malcolm ForbesBoy, the things I do for England.— Prince Charles (on sampling snake meat)You are no bigger than the things that annoyyou.— Jerry BundsenIts only work if somebody makes you do it.— Calvin in Calvin and Hobbes cartoonEmployees who think they know everythingare very irritating to those of us who do.— Unknown wise personNever complain about your troubles; they areresponsible for more than half of your income.— Robert Updegraff 5
  • 16. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobWhen you go in search of honey you mustexpect to be stung by bees.— Kenneth KaundaLittle things affect little minds.— Benjamin DisraeliYou can and you must expect suffering.— Mother TeresaWhen youre going through hell, keep going.— Albert EinsteinMen are disturbed not by things that happen,but by their opinion of the things that happen.— EpictetusFew things are harder to put up with than agood example.— Mark TwainNothing is troublesome that we do willingly.— Thomas Jefferson 6
  • 17. Retired Happy, Wild, and Free!The Worlds Best Retirement Book Shows You How • A Classic by Ernie Zelinski • Over 100,000 Copies Sold Purchase How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free at Fine Bookstores or Through These Direct Links: www.Amazon.com www.BarnesandNoble.com
  • 18. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job Ambition At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since. — Salvador DaliAmbition often puts men upon doing themeanest offices; so climbing is performed inthe same position with creeping.— Jonathan SwiftGod is not dead but alive and well andworking on a much more ambitious project.— GraffitiAmbition — it is the last infirmity of nobleminds.— J. M. BarrieAmbition is the last refuge of the failure.— Oscar Wilde 8
  • 19. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Ambition if it feeds at all, does so on theambition of others.— Susan SontagThe slave has but one master, the ambitiousman has as many as there are persons whoseaid may contribute to the advancement of hisfortunes.— Jean de La BruyèreNo bird soars too high, if he soars with hisown wings.— William BlakeAmbition is a Dead Sea fruit, and the greatestperil to the soul is that one is likely to getprecisely what he is seeking.— Edward DahlbergIf men cease to believe that they will one daybecome gods then they will surely becomeworms.— Henry Miller 9
  • 20. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job Artists at Work I dont know anything about music. In my line you dont have to. — Elvis Presley Working in the theater has a lot in common with unemployment. — Arthur GingoldYou can make a killing as a playwright inAmerica, but you cant make a living.— Sherwood AndersonI always suspect an artist who is successfulbefore he is dead.— John Murray FitzgibbonIt is very good advice to believe only what anartist does, rather than what he says about hiswork.— David Hockney 10
  • 21. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)When actors begin to think, its time for achange. They are not fitted for it.— Stephen LeacockIndividuality of expression is the beginningand end of all art.— Johannes Wolfgang von GoetheModern art is when you buy a picture to covera hole in the wall and then decide that thehole looks much better.— Unknown wise personExtraordinary how potent cheap music is.— Noël CowardNo one has ever written, painted, sculpted,modeled, built, or invented except literally toget out of hell.— Antonin ArtaudIf more than ten percent of the public likes apainting, it should be burned.— George Bernard Shaw 11
  • 22. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job Bad Days at WorkThere are days when ittakes all youve got justto keep up with thelosers.— Robert OrbenSmile. Tomorrow will beworse.— Unknown wise personIf a project is going wrong, always blame oneof your colleagues — but not an intelligentone.— Joep SchrijversSwallow a toad in the morning if you want toencounter nothing more disgusting the rest ofthe day.— Nicolas ChamfortA bad workman always blames his tools.— French proverb 12
  • 23. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Its a good rule to follow the first law of holes:if you are in one, stop digging.— Denis HealeyIt is always with the best intentions that theworst work is done.— Oscar Wilde Boring Work If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches. — Rainer Maria Rilke A tremendous number of people in America work very hard at something that bores them. Even a rich man thinks he has to go down to the office everyday. Not because he likes it but because he cant think of anything else to do. — W. H. Auden 13
  • 24. RETIRE TODAY! You Must Fire Your Boss and Take Control of Your Destiny. To Do This, You Need The World’s Best Retirement Book — Which Will Inspire You to:LEAVE CORPORATE LIFE — FOREVER! You . . . Can Take Back Your Life! CLICK HERE NOW to Purchase How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free on Amazon.com Above all, being rich is having your freedom. This is what How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free is all about.
  • 25. An Unsolicited Testimonial for The World’s Best Retirement Book A truly upbeat read! The author, who semi-retired at age 30 and in debt, claims you are never too young to retire. He paints a picture that is so appealing you will wish you had retired years ago. He hits topics such as lifelong learning, relocation, the importance of friendships, and creative travel options. His seven- page list of “activities for your get-a- life tree” will help you start and keep you active for a very long time. — Life Planning NetworkPurchase How to Retire, Happy, Wild, and Free atthese direct links: www.Amazon.com www.BarnesandNoble.com
  • 26. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobWork is not a curse, but drudgery is.— Henry Ward BeecherTo do the same thing over and over again isnot only boredom; it is to be controlled byrather than to control what you do.— HeraclitusI had a boring office job. I cleaned thewindows in the envelopes.— Rita RudnerYou are what you do. If you do boring, stupid,monotonous work, chances are youll end upboring, stupid, and monotonous.— Bob BlackThe less of routine, the more of life.— A. B. AlcottNothing is interesting if youre not interested.— Helen MacInness 14
  • 27. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) Breaking New GroundFaced with having to change our views orprove that there is no need to do so, most ofus immediately get busy on the proof.— John Kenneth GalbraithIf people knew what they had to do to besuccessful, most people wouldnt.— Lord Thomson of FleetThe man who follows the crowd will usuallyget no further than the crowd. The man whowalks alone is likely to find himself in placesno one has ever been.— Alan Ashley-PittWe know that the nature of genius is toprovide idiots with ideas twenty years later.— Louis AragonIt takes a strong fish to swim against thecurrent. Even a dead one can float with it.— John Crowe 15
  • 28. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobThe difficult and risky task of meeting andmastering the new . . . is not undertaken bythe vanguard of society but by its rear. It is themisfits, failures, fugitives, outcasts and theirlike who are among the first to grapple withthe new.— Eric HofferSome men see things as they are and ask,"Why?" I see them as they have never beenand ask, "Why not?"— George Bernard Shaw BureaucracyGuidelines for Bureaucrats: 1. When incharge, ponder. 2. When in trouble, delegate.3. When in doubt, mumble.— James H. BorenBureaucracy defends the status quo long pastthe time when the quo has lost its status.— Laurence J. Peter 16
  • 29. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Bureaucracy is a giant mechanism operatedby pygmies.— Honaré de Balzac BusynessSome folks can look so busy doing nothin thatthey seem indispensable.— Kin HubbardThe curse of me and my nation is that wealways think things can be bettered byimmediate action of some sort, any sort ratherthan no sort.— Ezra PoundBeing busy does not always mean real work.The object of all work is production oraccomplishment and to either of these endsthere must be forethought, system, planning,intelligence, and honest purpose, as well asperspiration. Seeming to do is not doing.— Thomas Edison 17
  • 30. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job The trouble with life in the fast lane is that you get to the other end in an awful hurry. — John Jensen So little time and so little to do. — Oscar LevantIt is not enough to be busy . . . . the questionis: what are we busy about?— Henry David ThoreauA great many people have come up to me andasked how I managed to get so much doneand still look so dissipated.— Robert BenchleyThe writing of more than 75 poems in anyfiscal year should be punishable by a fine of$500.— Ed Sanders 18
  • 31. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) Careers A career is a job that has gone on too long. — Jeff MacNelly People dont choose their careers; they are engulfed by them. — John Dos PassosSometimes you wonder how you got on thismountain. But sometimes you wonder, "Howwill I get off?"— Joan ManleyWhen I was a boy I was told that anybodycould become President: Im beginning tobelieve it.— Clarence DarrowMy uncle was the town drunk — and we livedin Chicago.— George Gobel 19
  • 32. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobThe difference between a job and a career isthe difference between forty and sixty hours aweek.— Robert Frost Career Advice Find a calling you love and you will never work a day in your life. — Confucius Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because theyre looking for ideas. — Paula Poundstone The world is divided into people whodo things and people who get the credit. Try, ifyou can, to belong to the first class. Theresfar less competition.— Dwight MorrowIn politics stupidity is not a hardship.— Napoleon 20
  • 33. HERE IS GREAT NEWS FOR YOU!A much happier you and a moresatisfying life are just around the corner.This is your chance to live a life ofretirement that many people miss out on.Not 10 years from now! NOW!It is a mistake to retire too late in lifebecause you don’t get another chance todo it right! CLICK HERE NOW to Purchase How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free on Amazon.com
  • 34. My Guarantee If You Purchase How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free If you are not thrilled with How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free, just send your copy back to me along with your proof of purchase within 60 days and I will return your money promptly. (My address is in the book and in the front of this E-book.) I can make this guarantee because of all the great testimonials that I have received about How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free. Alternatively, I can send you an autographed copy of my new book 101 Really Important Things You Already Know, But Keep Forgetting (over 35,000 copies sold already and published in 5 languages). If you are not entirely satisfied with this book either, you can return it to me as well and I will return double your money.
  • 35. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobDont waste time learning the "tricks of thetrade." Instead learn the trade.— H. Jackson Brown, Jr.A musician must make music, an artist mustpaint, a poet must write, if he is to beultimately at peace with himself.— Abraham MaslowNever get married while youre going tocollege; its hard to get a start if a prospectiveemployer finds youve already made onemistake.— Kin HubbardThe deepest personal defeat suffered byhuman beings is constituted by the differencebetween what one was capable of becomingand what one has in fact become.— Ashley MontaguIf you dont like your job you dont strike. Youjust go in every day and do it really half-assed.Thats the American way.— Homer Simpson 22
  • 36. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) Change in the WorkplaceOnly man is not content to leave things asthey are but must always be changing them,and when he has done so, is seldom satisfiedwith the result.— Elspeth HuxleyIf you want to make enemies, try to changesomething.— Woodrow WilsonWhat we would like to stay the same ischanging and what we would like to changeinsists on staying the same.— Unknown wise personYou think that you understand the situation,but what you dont understand is the situationhas just changed.— Workplace graffitiThe more things change, the more they staythe same.— French proverb 23
  • 37. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobThings are bad enough around here withoutsome management guru coming around tochange things.— Workplace graffiti CommitteesHaving served on various committees, I havedrawn up a list of rules: Never arrive on time;this stamps you as a beginner. Dont sayanything until the meeting is half over; thisstamps you as wise. Be as vague as possible;this avoids irritating the others. When in doubt,suggest a subcommittee be appointed. Be thefirst to move for adjournment; this will makeyou popular; its what everyone is waiting for.— Harry Chapman 24
  • 38. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)A committee of three gets things done if twodont show up.— Unknown wise personWhat is a committee? A group of the unwilling,picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.— Richard HarnessA committee is a group of importantindividuals who singly can do nothing but whotogether agree that nothing can be done.— Fred AllenA committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideasare lured and quietly strangled.— Sir Barnett CocksIf you see a snake, just kill it — dont appoint acommittee on snakes.— H. Ross PerotA committee should consist of three men, twoof whom are absent.— Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree 25
  • 39. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobCommunication in the Workplace No one ever listened himself out of a job. — Calvin Coolidge Its not what you say but the way you say it. — French proverbWords that do not match deeds are notimportant.— Ernesto Che GuevaraI wish people who have troublecommunicating would just shut up.— Tom LehrerI dont want any yes-men around me. I wanteverybody to tell me the truth even if it coststhem their jobs.— Samuel GoldwynWhen your work speaks for itself, dontinterrupt.— Henry J. Kaiser 26
  • 40. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)When angry, count ten, before you speak; ifvery angry, a hundred.— Thomas JeffersonDrawing on my fine command of the Englishlanguage, I said nothing.— Robert BenchleyIf you have something of importance to say,for Gods sake start at the end.— Sarah Jeannette DuncanIf you have any problems at all, dont hesitateto shut up.— Robert Mankoff CompetenceHe who knows best knows how little heknows.— Thomas Jefferson 27
  • 41. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobIf at first you dont succeed, you may be atyour level of incompetence already.— Laurence J. PeterIf theres one pitch you keep swinging at andkeep missing, stop swinging at it.— Yogi BerraThe trouble with the world is that the stupidare cocksure and the intelligent full of doubt.— Bertrand RussellHe mastered whatever was not worth theknowing.— James Russell LowellEven a thief takes tenyears to learn his trade— Japanese proverbCompetence, like truth, beauty and contactlenses, is in the eye of the beholder.— Laurence J. Peter 28
  • 42. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)It is easier to appear worthy of a position onedoes not hold, than of the office which onefills.— François, Duc de La RochefoucauldIn most hierarchies, supercompetence is moreobjectionable than incompetence.— Laurence J. Peter and Raymond Hull CompetitionThe price which society pays for the law ofcompetition, like the price it pays for cheapcomforts and luxuries, is great; but theadvantages of this law are also greater stillthan its cost- for it is to this law that we oweour wonderful material development, whichbrings improved conditions in its train.— Andrew Carnegie 29
  • 43. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobChoose the right moment to bad-mouth yourrivals. A "good" rat will attack only three timesa month, for up to five minutes at a time.— Joep SchrijversNobody talks more of free enterprise andcompetition and of the best man winning thanthe man who inherited his fathers store orfarm.— C. Wright MillsNever battle with a man who has nothing tolose, for then the conflict is unequal.— Baltasar GracianThe general fact is that the most effective wayof utilizing human energy is through anorganized rivalry, which by specialization andsocial control is, at the same time, organizedco-operation.— Charles Horton CooleyThe Way of the sage is to act but not tocompete.— Lao Tzu 30
  • 44. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) ComputersThe best computer is a man,and its the only one that canbe mass-produced byunskilled labor.— Werner von BraunA computer will do what youtell it to do, but that may bemuch different from what youhad in mind.— Joseph WeizenbaumTo err is human, but to really foul things uprequires a computer.— from 1978 Farmers AlmanacWhy shouldnt a PC work like a refrigerator ora toaster?— Walter MossbergSome things were never meant to be solved.— Unknown wise person in response 31
  • 45. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobTo err is human — and to blame it on acomputer is even more so.— Robert OrbenComputers make it easier to do a lot of things,but most of the things they make it easier todo dont need to be done.— Andy RooneyBefore we work on artificial intelligence whydont we do something about naturalstupidity?— Steve PolyakIn a few minutes a computer can make amistake so great that it would take many menmany months to equal it.— Merle L MeachamComputers can solve all kinds of problemsexcept the unemployment problem theycreate.— Laurence J. Peter 32
  • 46. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)The computer is a moron.— Peter DruckerThe real danger is not that computers willbegin to think like men, but that men will beginto think like computers.— Sydney J. HarrisThe bigger the bore, the greater theknowledge of computers.— Unknown wise personComputers are useless. They can only giveyou answers.— Pablo Picasso 33
  • 47. Warning! Warning! Warning! What you dont know about what makes people happy in retirement can greatly hurt you! Retirement is a double-edged sword. You either make it work for you — or it will cut your happiness in half. The more you know about the secrets to a successful retirement, the happier you will be once you retire. Thats why you need The Worlds Best Retirement Book by Ernie Zelinski. How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free: Retirement Wisdom That You Won’t Get from Your Financial Advisor is a provocative, entertaining, down-to- earth, and tremendously inspiring book that will help you get more joy and satisfaction out of all your retirement activities.Purchase How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Freeat fine bookstores throughout the universe orthrough this direct link: www.Amazon.com
  • 48. A Retirement Letter from a Reader of How to Retire Happy, Wild, and FreeDear Ernie.I enjoyed your book How to Retire Happy,Wild, and Free.It sure is “Retirement Wisdom That YouWont Get from Your FinancialAdvisor.” Published in 7I am going to give it to my Foreign Languagesfinancial advisor to read next. PurchaseI cant wait for another book by The World’s Bestyou. Retirement BookHave a great fall and winter. (240 pages) at www.amazon.comThanks, or www.barnesandnoble.com with the direct links.Mavis MarkoSaskatoon, Saskatchewan
  • 49. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job Creativity in the WorkplaceCreativity is the suddencessation of stupidity.— Dr. E. LandIts not enough to be the best atwhat you do. You must beperceived as the only one whodoes what you do.— Jerry GarciaYou have to be original. Ifyoure like everyone else, whatdo they need you for?— B. PetersWhen all is said and done, monotony mayafter all be the best condition for creation.— Margaret SackvilleThe human mind treats a new idea the waythe body treats a strange protein; it rejects it.— P. B. Medawar 34
  • 50. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)People will accept your idea much morereadily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklinsaid it first.— David H. CominsThe difference between genius and stupidity isthat genius has its limits.— Unknown wise personRULE 1: Break every company rule exceptthis one if you want to be creative. RULE 2:Ignore Rule 1 if you want to continue workinghere.— Workplace graffitiIn an industrial society which confuses workand productivity, the necessity of producinghas always been an enemy of the desire tocreate.— Raoul VaneigemIts not creative unless it sells.— Motto of Benton & Bowles Advertising Agency 35
  • 51. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job Crisis ManagementIts easier to stay out oftrouble than get out oftrouble.— Unknown wise personAlways take anemergency leisurely.— Chinese proverbIf you keep your head when all about you arelosing theirs, you dont understand theproblem.— Unknown wise personThere cant be a crisis next week. Myschedule is already full.— Henry KissingerOf all the thirty-six alternatives, running awayis best.— Unknown wise person 36
  • 52. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) Dating People at Work Employees make the best dates. You dont have to pick them up and theyre always tax deductible. — Andy Warhol Stay away from girls who cry a lot or who look like they get pregnant easily or have careers. — P. J. ORourkeThere is nothing so awkward as courting awoman whilst she is making sausages.— Laurence Sterne DelegationYou call this a script? Give me a couple of5,000-dollar-a-week writers and I will write itmyself.— Joe Pasternak (movie producer) 37
  • 53. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobWhat is worth doing is worth the trouble ofasking somebody to do it.— Ambrose BierceNothing is impossible for the man who doesnthave to do it himself.— A. H. WeilerOne of the best ways of avoiding necessaryand even urgent tasks is to seem to be busilyemployed on things that are already done.— John Kenneth Galbraith 38
  • 54. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)I made up my mind long ago that life was tooshort to do anything for myself that I could payothers to do for me.— W. Somerset MaughamNever learn to do anything: ifyou dont learn, youll alwaysfind someone else to do it foryou.— Mark TwainI dont even butter my bread. I consider thatcooking.— Katherine CebrianSuccess means only doing what you do well,letting someone else do the rest.— Goldstein S. Truism Difficulty at WorkThe brain is a wonderful organ. It startsworking the moment you get up in the morningand does not stop until you get to the office.— Robert Frost 39
  • 55. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobIf you cant keep up, drag them down to yourlevel.— Laurence J. PeterIf theres a harder way of doing something,someone will find it.— Ralph E. RossWhen the going gets tough, the smart get lost.— Robert Byrne Diplomacy in the Workplace Diplomacy is letting someone else have your way. — Lester Pearson A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. — Caskie Stinnett 40
  • 56. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) Dream JobsI used to work at The International House ofPancakes. It was a dream, and I made ithappen.— Paula PoundstoneYou have to know exactly what you want outof your career. If you want to be a star, youdont bother with other things.— Marilyn HorneYou are never given a wish without also thepower to make it true. You may have to workfor it, however.— Richard Bach 41
  • 57. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job What I aspired to be And was not, comforts me. — Robert Browning The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play. — Arnold Toynbee I have the same goal Ive had ever since I was a girl. I want to rule the world. — Madonna The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play. — Arnold ToynbeeCLICK HERE IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO WORK ATAN UNREAL JOB OR RUN A FUNKY BUSINESS Dress in the Workplace I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me. — Warren Buffett 42
  • 58. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Being a well-dressed man is a career, and hewho goes in for it has no time for anythingelse.— Heywood Broun Youd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap. — Dolly Parton I was trying to think the other day about what you do now in America if you want to be successful. Before, you were dependable and wore a good suit. Looking around, I guess that today you have to do all the same things but not wear a good suit. I guess thats all it is. Think rich. Look poor. — Andy WarholFashion is a form of ugliness so intolerablethat we have to alter it every six months.— Oscar Wilde 43
  • 59. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job Earning a LivingThere is no more fatal blunderer than he whoconsumes the greater part of his life gettinghis living.— Henry David ThoreauMost people are too busy earning a living tomake any [real] money.— Joe KarboI say to hell with the work you haveto do to earn a living! That kind ofwork does us no honor; all it doesis fill up the bellies of the pigs whoexploit us. But the work you dobecause you like to do it, becauseyouve heard the call, youve got avocation — thats ennobling! Weshould all be able to work like that.Look at me, Saturno — I dontwork. And I dont care if they hangme, I wont work! Yet Im alive! Imay live badly, but at least I donthave to work to do it!— Luis Buñuel 44
  • 60. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Work like you dont need the money. Love likeyouve never been hurt. Dance like nobody iswatching.— Mark TwainDont be a salary slave! If you are going to doanything in this world, you must start beforeyou are forty, before your period of initiativehas ended. Do it now!— Robert CochraneA lot of us are working harder than we want,at things we dont like to do. Why? It figures!In order to afford the sort of existence wedont care to live.— Bradford AngierThat man who knows too many trades . . . .his family starves.— Chinese proverb Eccentrics at WorkThat so few now dare to be eccentric, marksthe chief danger of the time.— John Stuart Mill 45
  • 61. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobEccentricity is not, as dull peoplewould have us believe, a form ofmadness. It is often a kind ofinnocent pride, and the man ofgenius and the aristocrat arefrequently regarded as eccentricsbecause genius and aristocrat areentirely unafraid of anduninfluenced by the opinions andvagaries of the crowd.— Dame Edith SitwellNo one can be profoundly originalwho does not avoid eccentricity.— André MauroisEccentricity has always abounded when andwhere strength of character has abounded;and the amount of eccentricity in a society hasgenerally been proportional to the amount ofgenius, mental vigour, and moral couragewhich it contained.— John Stuart MillThose who are different change the world.Those who are ordinary keep it that way.— Unknown wise person 46
  • 62. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)We are obliged to regard many of our originalminds as crazy at least until we have becomeas clever as they are.— G. C. LichtenbergDo not fear to be eccentric in opinion, forevery opinion now accepted was onceeccentric.— Bertrand Russell Education and TrainingTraining is everything. The peach was once abitter almond; cauliflower is nothing butcabbage with a college education.— Mark TwainWhen a subject becomes totallyobsolete we make it a required course.— Peter DruckerIt dont make much difference whatyou study, so long as you dont like it.— Finley Peter Dunne 47
  • 63. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobTo make headway, improve your head.— B. C. ForbesIts what you learn after you know it all thatcounts.— John WoodenThe dog too old to learn new tricks always hasbeen.— Unknown wise personLearn as if you were going to live forever. Liveas if you were going to die tomorrow.— Unknown wise personA man who has never gone to school maysteal from a freight car; but if he has auniversity education, he may steal the wholerailroad.— Theodore RooseveltAn education obtained with money is worsethan no education at all.— Socrates 48
  • 64. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)You may be a redneck if . . . you have spentmore on your pickup truck than on youreducation.— Jeff FoxworthyEconomics 101 wont get you off welfare, butat least you will know why you are there.— Graffiti at a universityAll intellectual improvement arises fromleisure.— Samuel Johnson I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What the damn good would that do? — Ronnie Shakes A learned blockhead is a greater blockhead than an ignorant one. — Benjamin Franklin 49
  • 65. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobWe all need an education in the obvious.— Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. Efficiency and Efficient WorkersWhen action grows unprofitable, gatherinformation; when information growsunprofitable, sleep.Ursula K. Le GuinWhat I do, I do very well, and what I dontdo well, I dont do at all.— Unknown wise personIt is not worth while to go round the world tocount the cats in Zanzibar.— Henry David ThoreauMost people are such fools that it is really nogreat compliment to say that someone isabove the average.— W. Somerset Maugham 50
  • 66. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Make good use of bad rubbish.— Elizabeth BeresfordNever trouble another for what you can doyourself.— Thomas JeffersonAstronomers, like burglars and jazzmusicians, operate best at night.— Miles KingsonWhen you are doing something difficult,tedious, or extremely time-consuming, askyourself what would happen if you didnt do it.If the answer is nothing, or next to nothing,stop doing it.— from Real Success WITHOUT a Real JobOne principal reason why people are so oftenuseless is that they neglect their ownprofession or calling, and divide and shift theirattention among a multitude of objects andpursuits.— Nathaniel Emmons 51
  • 67. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobThe really efficient laborer will be found not tocrowd his day with work, but will saunter to histask surrounded by a wide halo of ease andleisure.— Henry David ThoreauIf a thing is worth doing, it is worth doingbadly.— G. K. ChestertonNever let your boss know that you exist.— Workplace graffiti Enjoyment of Work Work is work if youre paid to do it, and its a pleasure if you pay to be allowed to do it. — Finley Peter Dunne Find a job you like and you add five days to every week. — H. Jackson Brown, Jr. 52
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  • 70. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)My father taught me to work, but not to love it.I never did like to work, and I dont deny it. Idrather read, tell stories, crack jokes, talk,laugh — anything but work.— Abraham LincolnNo one hates his job so heartily as a farmer.— H. L. MenckenI never thought of achievement. I just did whatcame along for me to do — the thing thatgave me the most pleasure.— Eleanor RooseveltLife without absorbing occupation is hell.— Elbert HubbardNever continue in a job you dont enjoy. Ifyoure happy in what youre doing, youll likeyourself, youll have inner peace. And if youhave that, along with physical health, youllhave more success than you could possiblyhave imagined.— Roger Caras 53
  • 71. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobIf people really liked to work, wed still beplowing the land with sticks and transportinggoods on our backs.— William Feather Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. — Ralph Waldo Emerson I am afraid that the pleasantness of an employment does not always evince its propriety. — Jane AustenIm a free soul who hates paying attention tothings I am not interested in. Consequently, Ihave rarely been comfortable in the role ofemployee.— Steve SolomonId rather be a failure at something I enjoythan a success at something I hate.— George Burns 54
  • 72. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)No longer diverted by other emotions, I workthe way a cow grazes.— Käthe KollwitzThe miracle is not that we do this work, butthat we are happy to do it.— Mother Teresa Equality in the WorkplaceYou cant hold a man down without stayingdown with him.— Booker T. WashingtonAlways suspect any job men willingly vacatefor women.— Jill Tweedie 55
  • 73. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobIn the past a man was expected to give hisseat on a bus to a woman. Today it would bemuch more courteous for that man to give herhis job.— P. J. ORourkeAll this talk about equality. The only thingpeople really have in common is that they areall going to die.— Bob DylanMen now monopolize the upper levels . . . .depriving women of their rightful share ofopportunities for incompetence.— Laurence J. PeterInferiors revolt in order that they be equal, andequals that they be superior.— AristotleEquality is what does not exist among mortals.— e. e. cummings 56
  • 74. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Women now get menswages, but they alwayshave.— Unknown wise personThat all men are equal is aproposition to which, atordinary times, no saneindividual has ever givenhis assent.— Aldous HuxleySometimes the best man for the job isnt.— Unknown wise personIm all for ERA. I want to see women equal tomen — not so damn superior like theyvebeen.— Nipsey RussellMen are vain; but they wont mind womenworking so long as they get smaller wages forthe same job.— Irvin S. Cobb 57
  • 75. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobSome of us are becoming the men we wantedto marry.— Gloria SteinemBeware of the man who praises womensliberation; he is about to quit his job.— Erica JongIdiots are always in favour of inequality ofincome (their only chance of eminence), andthe really great in favour of equality.— George Bernard ShawWhether women are better than men I cannotsay — but I can say they are certainly noworse.— Golda MeirTake your secretary to lunch. Hell appreciateit.— Unknown wise personSix feet of earth make all men equal.— James Howell 58
  • 76. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) Evils of WorkWork is a necessary evil to be avoided.— Mark TwainWork is the curse of the drinking class.— Oscar WildePerpetual devotion to what a man calls hisbusiness, is only to be sustained by perpetualneglect of many other things.— Robert Louis StevensonLet us be grateful to Adam: he cut us out ofthe blessing of idleness and won for us thecurse of labor.— Mark Twain 59
  • 77. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job The Joy of Not Working A Book for the Retired, Unemployed, and Overworked • Its about learning to live every part of your life to the fullest. • Its about being more productive by working less. • It’s about pursuing interesting leisure activities that make a difference in your physical, mental, and spiritual well-being! • It’s about being financially independent with less money. Over 225,000 copies Sold Published in 17 LanguagesPurchase The Joy of Not Working at: www.Amazon.com www.BarnesandNoble.com 60
  • 78. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Nothing makes a man so selfish as work.— George Bernard ShawOne of the saddest things is that the only thingthat a man can do for eight hours a day, dayafter day, is work. You cant eat eight hours aday nor drink for eight hours a day nor makelove for eight hours- all you can do for eighthours is work. Which is the reason why manmakes himself and everybody else somiserable and unhappy.— William Faulkner Excellence at WorkPerfection is our goal, excellence will betolerated.— J. Yahl 61
  • 79. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobI am careful not to confuse excellence withperfection. Excellence, I can reach for;perfection is Gods business.— Michael J. FoxArrogance is too often the companion ofexcellence.— Unknown wise personOnly the mediocre are always at their best.— Jean GiraudouxHe writes so well he makes me feel likeputting my quill back in my goose.— Fred AllenIf my film makes one more person miserable,Ill feel Ive done my job.— Woody AllenHe did nothing in particular, and did it verywell.— W. S. Gilbert 62
  • 80. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)God created man, but I could do better.— Erma BombeckIf you dont do it excellently, dont do it at all.Because if its not excellent, it wont beprofitable or fun, and if youre not in businessfor fun or profit, what the hell are you doinghere?— Robert TownsendIf you want a thing done well, do it yourself.— Japanese proverb ExperienceExperience is one thing youcant get for nothing.— Oscar WildeExperience teaches you torecognize a mistake whenyouve made it again.— Unknown wise person 63
  • 81. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobGood judgment comes from experience; andexperience comes from bad judgment.— Unknown wise personSixty-five is the age when one acquiressufficient experience to lose ones job.— Unknown wise person Experts and Specialists in the WorkplaceThe expert: an ordinary man, away fromhome, giving advice.— Unknown wise personMake three correct guesses consecutively andyou will establish a reputation as an expert.— Laurence J. PeterIf your mind is empty, it is always ready foranything; it is open to everything. In thebeginners mind there are many possibilities;in the experts mind there are few.— from Zen, Beginners Mind 64
  • 82. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)An expert is one who knows more and moreabout less and less [until he knows a lot aboutnothing].— Nicholas Murray ButlerAlways listen to experts. Theyll tell you whatcant be done and why. Then do it.— Robert HeinleinNo man can be a pure specialist without beingin the strict sense an idiot.— George Bernard ShawAn expert is a man who hasstopped thinking. Why shouldhe think? He is an expert.— Frank Lloyd WrightThe function of the expert isnot to be more right thanother people, but to be wrongfor more sophisticatedreasons.— Dr. David Butler 65
  • 83. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job FailureWe live in an age of publicity and hype.Theres something about success thatdehumanizes you, whereas failure remindsyou of who you really are.— Norman JewisonIf at first you do succeed — try to hide yourastonishment.— Harry F. BanksWe are all failures — at least the best of usare.— James M. BarrieAn essential aspect of creativity is not beingafraid to fail.— Dr. Edwin LandIf you get on the train today, youll overpayyour fare. But if you dont, youll be left behindin the dust.— Chinese proverb 66
  • 84. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Many of lifes failures are people who did notrealize how close they were to success whenthey gave up.— Thomas EdisonHe that fails in his endeavors after wealth orpower will not long retain either honesty orcourage.— Samuel JohnsonI dont measure a mans success by how highhe climbs but how high he bounces when hehits bottom.— George PattonThere are two kinds of failures: those whothought and never did, and those who did andnever thought.— Laurence J. PeterBe willing to lose a battle in order to win thewar.— H. Jackson Brown, Jr. 67
  • 85. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job When a man blames others for his failures, its a good idea to credit others with his successes. — Howard W. Newton If at first you dont succeed, youre about average. — Unknown wise person Failure has gone to his head. — Wilson MiznerA failure is a man who has blundered, but isnot able to cash in the experience.— Elbert HubbardAnybody seen in a bus over the age of 30 hasbeen a failure in life.— Loeila, Duchess of WestminsterIf at first you dont succeed, try, try, again.Then quit. Theres no use being a damn foolabout it.— W. C. Fields 68
  • 86. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Only those who dare to fail greatly can everachieve greatly.— Robert F. KennedyNo man is a failure who is enjoying life.— William FeatherI have not failed. Ive just found 10,000 waysthat wont work.— Thomas Edison Freedom and WorkTo be at ease is better than to be at business.— Baltasar GraciánA [typical] worker is a part-time slave.— Bob BlackIf a man does only what is required of him, heis a slave. If a man does more than is requiredof him, he is a free man.— Chinese Proverb 69
  • 87. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobThe more I want to get something done, theless I call it work.— Richard BachThe seat of freedom is reserved for the manwho lives by his own work, and in that work,does what he wants to do.— George Robin Collingwood Friends and WorkThe path of social advancement is, and mustbe, strewn with broken friendships.— H. G. Wells When you are young and without success, you have only a few friends. Then, later on, when you are rich and famous, you still have a few . . . if you are lucky. — Pablo Picasso I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one. — Clarence Darrow 70
  • 88. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) Do not keep company with people who speak of careers. Not only are such people uninteresting in themselves; they also have no interest in anything interesting. Keep company with people who are interested in the world outside themselves. The one who never asks you what you are working on; Who never inquires as to the success of your latest project; Who never uses the word career as a noun — he is your friend. — Roger RosenblattFor More Great Quotations on Friends andFriendship Go to: www.Friendship-Heaven.com Fun in the Workplace When work is a pleasure, life is a joy! When work is a duty, life is slavery. — Maxim Gorky Work is either fun or drudgery. It depends on your attitude. I like fun. — Colleen C. Barrett 71
  • 89. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobThe one important thing I learned over theyears is the difference between taking oneswork seriously and taking ones self seriously.The first is imperative and the second isdisastrous.— Margot Fonteyn When youre starting to have a good time, youre doing your job wrong. — Workplace graffiti If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. — Katharine HepburnThe formula for complete happiness is to bevery busy with the unimportant.— A. Edward NewtonWork hard and smart, but have fun as well.The more fun you have the more productiveyou will be.— Abe Bakhsheshy 72
  • 90. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Fun at work means enjoying what you do somuch that the weekends come too soon.— Del Rae GrosePeople rarely succeed unless they have fun inwhat they are doing.— Dale Carnegie Geniuses at Work Whats the use of being a genius if you cant use it as an excuse for being unemployed? — Gerald Barzan The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius. — Sid CaesarMen of lofty genius are most active when theyare doing the least work.— Leonardo da Vinci 73
  • 91. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobWhen a true genius appears in the world, youwill know him by this sign, that all the duncesare in confederacy against him.— Jonathan SwiftOne of the strongest characteristics of geniusis the power of lighting its own fire.— John FosterThe successful people are the ones who canthink up things for the rest of the world to keepbusy at.— Don MarquisIn the republic of mediocrity, genius isdangerous.— Robert Ingersoll Getting EmploymentWe judge ourselves by what we feel capableof doing, while others judge us by what wehave already done.— Henry Wadsworth Longfellow 74
  • 92. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Being a specialist is onething, getting a job isanother.— Stephen LeacockNever turn down a jobbecause you think its toosmall, you dont know whereit can lead.— Julia MorganDo not despise the bottom rungs in the ascentto greatness.— Publilius SyrusThe person who knows "how" will always havea job. The person who knows "why" willalways be his boss.— Diane RavitchDear, never forget one little point. Its mybusiness. You just work here.— Elizabeth Arden 75
  • 93. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobIn the afterlife you dont have to worry aboutlooking for work.— Ed Wood Getting FiredIm a man without a corporation.— Robert Duvall on being fired in the movieNetworkNothing bads going to happen to us. If we getfired, its not failure; its a midlife vocationalreassessment.— P. J. ORourkeI was fired from my last job for being toocreative. I tried to design an off switch for aperpetual motion machine.— Cartoon in The Joy of Thinking BigI slip from workaholic to bum real easy.— Matthew Broderick 76
  • 94. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) If you just got fired, Ernie J. Zelinski says, “Congratulations.” Indeed, in his international bestseller you will read why getting fired can be the best thing that ever happened to you: The Joy of Not Working A Book for Retired, Unemployed, and Overworked • Over 225,000 copies sold • Published in 17 languages • Featured in USA TODAY, The Washington Post, Oakland Tribune, and the Boston HeraldPurchase through these direct links: www.Amazon.com www.BarnesandNoble.com 77
  • 95. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobThere is nothing worse than being a doer withnothing to do.— Elizabeth LaytonGetting fired is natures way to telling you thatyou had the wrong job in the first place.— Hal LancasterWhen I got fired from the government, Ishould have known at the time that I wasdestined for much greater things — indeed, itwas! I now haven’t worked at a real job fortwenty-five years.— from Real Success WITHOUT a Real Job GoalsPerfection of means and confusion of goals seem— in my opinion — to characterize our age.—Albert EinsteinAs long as you are going to be thinkinganyway, think big.— Donald Trump 78
  • 96. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)If you dont set goals, you cant regret notreaching them.— Yogi BeraIf you dont know where you are going, everyroad will get you nowhere.— Henry KissingerI shall make electricity so cheap that only therich can afford to burn candles.— Thomas EdisonI want to put a ding in the universe.— Steve Jobs 79
  • 97. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobI always wanted to be a somebody but Ishould have been more specific.— Lily TomlinThe future belongs to those who believe in thebeauty of their dreams.— Eleanor RooseveltMake no little plans: they have no magic to stirmens blood . . . . Make big plans; aim high inhope and work.— Daniel BurnhamIts just as difficult to reach a destination youdont have, as it is to come back from a placeyouve never been.— Zig ZiglarGive me a stock clerk with a goal and I willgive you a man who will make history. Giveme a man without a goal and I will give you astock clerk.— J. C. Penny 80
  • 98. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Seek above all for agame worth playing.Such is the oracle tomodern man. Havingfound the game, play itwith intensity; play as ifyour life and sanitydepend on it. (They dodepend on it).— D. S. Ropp Government WorkersIf there is anything a public servant hates todo its something for the public.— Kin HubbardThe only essential government worker drivesthe snowplow.— Workplace graffitiI will undoubtedly have to seek what is happilyknown as gainful employment, which I amglad to say does not describe holding publicoffice.— Dean Acheson 81
  • 99. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobGive a civil servant a good case and hellwreck it with clichés, bad punctuation, doublenegatives, and convoluted apology.— Alan Cark Gratitude for WorkThank God every day when you get up thatyou have something to do that day which mustbe done whether you like it or not. Beingforced to work and forced to do your best willbreed in you temperance and self-control,diligence and strength of will, cheerfulnessand content, and a hundred virtues which theidle will never know.— Basil CarpenterThe best way to appreciate your job is toimagine yourself without one.— Oscar WildeThe ugliest of trades have their moments.Were I a grave digger, or perhaps a hangman,there are some people I could work for with agreat deal of pleasure.— Douglas Jerrold 82
  • 100. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) Happiness in the WorkplaceGet happiness out ofyour work or you maynever know whathappiness is.— Elbert HubbardIf happiness is there for the taking why dont Isee it all around me? Ever met a happyemployee? A manager with integrity? A self-motivated and smiling colleague? No. Theonly happy people are the prophets whospread the message.— Joep SchrijversIt is neither wealth nor splendor, but tranquilityand occupation, which give happiness.— Thomas JeffersonIn order that people may be happy in theirwork, these three things are needed: Theymust be fit for it: they must not do too much ofit: and they must have a sense of success init.— W. H. Auden 83
  • 101. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobMost people perform essentially meaninglesswork. When they retire that truth is borne uponthem.— Brendan FrancisTo love what you do and feel that it matters —how could anything be more fun?— Katharine GrahamKill my boss? Do I dare live out the Americandream?— Homer SimpsonSuccess is not the key to happiness.Happiness is the key to success. If you lovewhat you are doing, you will be successful.— Albert SchweitzerIf a man has important work, and enoughleisure and income to enable him to do itproperly, he is in possession of as muchhappiness as is good for any of the children ofAdam.— Richard Henry Tawney 84
  • 102. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)It is your work in life that is the ultimateseduction.— Pablo Picasso Hard WorkI understand. You work very hard two days aweek and you need a five-day weekend.Thats normal.— Neil SimonIve met a few people in my time who wereenthusiastic about hard work. And it was justmy luck that all of them happened to be men Iwas working for at the time.— Bill GoldHard work never killed anybody, but why takea chance?— Charlie McCarthy (Edgar Bergen)Learn young about hard work and manners —and youll be through the whole dirty messand nicely dead again before you know it.— F. Scott Fitzgerald 85
  • 103. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobSometimes I get an irresistible urge to workhard like everyone else, but I just lie downuntil the feeling goes away, and then Im okay.— Cartoon caption in The Joy of Not WorkingThe less effort, the faster and more powerfulyou will be.— Bruce LeeNobody works as hard for his money as theman who marries it.— Kin HubbardA life spent in constant labor is a life wasted,save a man be such a fool as to regard afulsome obituary notice as ample reward.— George Jean NathanHard work pays off in the future. Lazinesspays off now.— Graffiti 86
  • 104. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Im impressed with people from Chicago.Hollywood is hype, New York is talk, Chicagois work.— Michael DouglasNinety-eight percent of the adults in thiscountry are decent, hard-working, honestAmericans. Its the other lousy two percentthat get all the publicity. But then — weelected them.— Lily TomlinHe worked like hell in the country so he couldlive in the city, where he worked like hell so hecould live in the country.— Don Marquis Hard Work and WealthCreating wealth does not require hard work,self-sacrifice or getting up ridiculously early,just quality of thought, imagination, andenthusiasm for what you do.— from Anxiety Culture 87
  • 105. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobEveryone who does not work has a schemethat does.— Unknown wise personI dont want to be the richest man in thegraveyard.— Song by Ben Kerr (Toronto busker) Haste Whoever is in a hurry, shows that the thing he is about is too big for him. — Lord Chesterfield The hurrier we go, the behinder we get. — Old Dutch proverbIf you are in a hurry you will never get there.— Chinese proverb 88
  • 106. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)The feeling of being hurried is not usually theresult of living a full life and having no time. Itis on the contrary born of a vague fear that weare wasting our life. When we do not do theone thing we ought to do, we have no time foranything else — we are the busiest people inthe world.— Eric HofferThree Ways to Handle a Task Fast: 1. Do ityourself. 2. Hire an expert to handle it for you.3. Decide that it isnt worth doing and strike itoff your to-do list.— from Real Success WITHOUT a Real JobNever let a computer know youre in a hurry.— Unknown wise personTher nis no werkman, whatsoevere he be,That may bothe werke wel and hastily.— Geoffrey ChaucerThey stumble that run fast.— William Shakespeare 89
  • 107. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobNo man who is in a hurry is quite civilized.— Will DurantPeople forget how fast you did a job — butthey remember how well you did it.— Howard Newton Having a Balanced Life-StylePeople who know how to employ themselves,always find leisure moments, while those whodo nothing are forever in a hurry.— Jeanne-Marie RolandEmploy thy time well, if thou meanest to gainleisure.— Benjamin Franklin 90
  • 108. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) How to Retire Happy, Wild and Free Retirement Wisdom That You Won’t Get from Your Financial Advisor! • Its about putting money in proper perspective so that you don’t need a million dollars to retire. • Its about taking charge of your mental, physical, and spiritual health. • It’s about, above all, making your retirement years the best time of your life! Over 100,000 copies Sold Published in 7 Foreign LanguagesPurchase How to Retire Happy, Wild and Free at: www.Amazon.com www.BarnesandNoble.com 91
  • 109. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobOne ought, every day at least, to hear a littlesong, read a good poem, see a fine picture,and, if it were possible, to speak a fewreasonable words.— Johann Wolfgang von GoetheLets realize a five-day workweek society.— Poster by the Japanese Ministry of Labor Drive thy business, or it will drive thee. — Benjamin Franklin It is paradoxical but nonetheless true that the nearer man comes to his goal to make his life easy and abundant, the more he undermines the foundations of a meaningful existence. — Franz AlexanderSuccess is important only to the extent that itputs one in a position to do more things onelikes to do.— Sarah Caldwell 92
  • 110. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) If you are losing your leisure, look out! You are losing your soul. — Logan Pearsall Smith Always do one thing less than you think you can do. — Bernard Baruch Health in the Workplace Health is a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity. — Constitution: World Health Organization People who dont know how to keep themselves healthy ought to have the decency to get themselves buried, and not waste time about it. — Henrik Ibsen DON’T CLICK HERE IF YOU ARE IN OPTIMUMHEALTH AND YOUR WORK BLOWS YOU AWAY 93
  • 111. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobThe two best things I ever did for my healthwas quit smoking and get fired from my lastreal job, never to return to another.— from Real Success WITHOUT a Real JobNever hurry. Take plenty of exercise. Alwaysbe cheerful. Take all the sleep you need. Youmay expect to be well.— James Freeman Clarke Hiring the Right People There is something that is much more scarce, something rarer than ability. It is the ability to recognize ability. — Robert HalfRésumé: A written exaggeration of only thegood things a person has done in the past, aswell as a wish list of the qualities a personwould like to have.— Bo Bennett 94
  • 112. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Access to talented and creative people is tomodern business what access to coal and ironore was to steelmaking.— Richard FloridaWhen you hire people that are smarter thanyou are, you prove you are smarter than theyare.— R. H. GrantHire disrespectful people.— Tom PetersDo not hire a man who does your work formoney, but him who does it for love of it.— Henry David ThoreauIf you have a yes-man or yes-woman workingfor you, one of you is redundant.— Unknown former Xerox managerIf nobody dropped out at the eighth grade,who would hire the college graduates?— Unknown wise person 95
  • 113. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobI never hesitated to promote someone I didntlike. The comfortable assistant — the nice guyyou like to go on fishing trips with — is a greatpitfall. Instead I looked for those sharp,scratchy, harsh, almost unpleasant guys whosee and tell you about things as they reallyare. If you can get enough of them aroundyou, and have patience enough to hear themout, there is no limit to where you can go.— Tom Watson, Sr.He’d suck my brains, memorize my Rolodexand use my telephone to find some other guywho’d pay him twice the money.— Ned Dewey (Harvard Business Schoolgraduate, class of ’49, in 1986 speaking aboutrecent graduates)One eagle is worth more than two turkeys.— Former IBM executiveEvery organization has an allotted number ofpositions to be filled by misfits.— Marshall Owen 96
  • 114. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)If each of us hires people smaller than we are,we shall become a company of dwarfs.— David Ogilvy Holidays and Vacations If all the year were playing holidays, to sport would be as tedious as to work. — William Shakespeare A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell. — George Bernard ShawAs to that leisure evening of life, I must saythat I do not want it. I can conceive of nocontentment of which toil is not to be theimmediate parent.— Anthony TrollopeA vacation is over when you begin to yearn foryour work.— Morris Fishbein 97
  • 115. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobTo get away from ones working environmentis, in a sense, to get away from ones self; andthis is often the chief advantage of travel andchange.— Charles Horton Cooley A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in. — Robert OrbenIf some people didnt tell you, youd neverknow theyd been away on a vacation.— Kin HubbardNo man needs a vacation so much as theman who has just had one.— Elbert HubbardEvery man who possibly can should forcehimself to a holiday of a full month in a year,whether he feels like taking it or not.— William James 98
  • 116. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) HouseworkHousework can kill you if done right.— Erma BombeckThe phrase "working mother" is redundant.— Jane Sellman You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again. — Joan Rivers Housework cant kill you, but why take a chance. — Phyllis DillerThe labor of keeping house is labor in its mostnaked state, for labor is toil that neverfinishes, toil that has to be begun again themoment it is completed, toil that is destroyedand consumed by the life process.— Mary McCarthy 99
  • 117. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobHousekeeping aint no joke.— Louisa May AlcottWhy dust the house when you can just wait acouple of years and get a snow blower?— Unknown wise person Humor in the WorkplaceThe best ideas come as jokes.Make your thinking as funny aspossible.— David OgilvyIts an odd job, making decentpeople laugh.— MolièreHumor is an affirmation ofdignity, a declaration of manssuperiority to all that befallshim.— Romain Gary 100
  • 118. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow.— Oscar WildeA civil servant doesnt make jokes.— Eugène IonescoWhat I want to do is to make people laugh sothat theyll see things seriously.— William K. ZinsserEverything is funny as long as it is happeningto somebody else.— Will RogersHe who laughs, lasts.— Mary Pettibone PooleHe who laughs last, thinks slowest.— Unknown wise personNo man with a sense of humor ever founded areligion.— Robert G. Ingersoll 101
  • 119. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobHe deserves Paradise who makes hiscompanions laugh.— The Koran Time spent in laughter is well invested. — Unknown wise person Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. — Victor BorgeTheres no trick to being a humorist when youhave the whole government working for you.— Will RogersDefining and analyzing humor is a pastime ofhumorless people.— Robert BenchleyEven the Gods love jokes.— Plato 102
  • 120. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) Ideas A man with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds. — Mark Twain Throwing away ideas too soon is like opening a package of flower seeds and then throwing them away because theyre not pretty. — Arthur VanGundyIf an idea does not appear bizarre, there is nohope for it.— Niels BohrDont worry about people stealing your ideas.If your ideas are any good, youll have to ramthem down peoples throats.— Howard AikenNothing is more dangerous than an idea whenits the only one you have.— Emile Chartier 103
  • 121. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobAn original idea: That cant be too hard. Thelibrary must be full of them.— Stephen FryThe critical ingredient is getting off your buttand doing something. Its as simple as that. Alot of people have ideas, but there are fewwho decide to do something about them now.Not tomorrow. Not next week. But today. Thetrue entrepreneur is a doer.— Nolan BushnellAn idea that is not dangerous is unworthy ofbeing called an idea at all.— Oscar WildeMake visible what, without you, might perhapsnever have been seen.— Robert BressonIdeas are a dime a dozen and they arentworth a plugged nickel if you dont do anythingwith them.— Unknown wise person 104
  • 122. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) IdlenessI do nothing, granted. But I see the hours pass— which is better than trying to fill them.— E. M. CloranHe lacks much who has no aptitude foridleness.— Louise Beebe WilderHe rides in the Row at ten oclock in themorning, goes to the Opera three times aweek, changes his clothes at least five times aday, and dines out every night of the season.You dont call that leading an idle life, do you?— Oscar Wilde 105
  • 123. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job Far from idleness being the root of all evil, it is rather the only true good. — Søren Aaby Kierkegaard It is better to have loafed and lost than never to have loafed at all. — James ThurberCLICK HERE FOR RETIREMENT PLANNING WISDOM It is the working man who is the happy man. It is the idle man who is the miserable man. — Benjamin Franklin Few women and fewer men have enough character to be idle. — Ed Lucas Yet it is in our idleness, in our dreams, that the submerged truth sometimes comes to the top. — Virginia Woolf 106
  • 124. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) IgnoranceHe was distinguished for ignorance, for hehad only one idea, and that was wrong.— Benjamin DisraeliThe United States has got some of thedumbest people in the world. I want you toknow that we know that.— Ted TurnerIgnorance is never out of style. It was infashion yesterday, it is the rage today and itwill set the pace tomorrow.— Frank DaneEverybody is ignorant, only on differentsubjects.— Will Rogers ImaginationUse your brain. Its the little things that count.— Workplace graffiti 107
  • 125. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobDream no small dreams for they have nopower to move hearts of men.— Johann Wolfgang von GoetheI dont dream at night, I dream all day. I dreamfor a living.— Steven SpielbergI am enough of an artist to draw freely uponmy imagination. Imagination is more importantthan knowledge. Knowledge is limited.Imagination encircles the world.— Albert EinsteinI shall make electricity so cheap that only therich can afford to burn candles.— Thomas EdisonMost people think only once or twice a year. Ihave made myself an international reputationby thinking once or twice a week.— George Bernard Shaw 108
  • 126. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Moderation is the last refuge of theunimaginative.— Oscar WildeThe successful people are the ones who canthink up things for the rest of the world to keepbusy at.— Don MarquisTake the obvious, add a cupful of brains, agenerous pinch of imagination, a bucketful ofcourage and daring, stir well and bring to aboil.— Bernard Baruch IncompetenceThe most ineffective workers aresystematically moved to the place where theycan do the least damage: management.— Scott AdamsIn a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise tohis level of incompetence.— Laurence J. Peter 109
  • 127. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobWhen a fool helps, the more he helps, theworse things get.— Chinese proverb.Even the most useless person can be used asa bad example.— Unknown wise person InnovationEverything that is really great and inspiring iscreated by the individual who can labor infreedom.— Albert EinsteinHe who makes the quickest, coolestprototypes reigns!— Tom PetersSuccessful leaders recognize that greatinnovation comes from observing the sameideas as everyone else and seeing somethingdifferent.— Reed Markham 110
  • 128. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)We believe that if men have the talent toinvent new machines that put men out ofwork, they have the talent to put those menback to work.— John F. KennedyIf you have always done it that way, it isprobably wrong.— Charles KetteringDont follow trends, start trends.— Frank CapraInnovation! One cannot be forever innovating.I want to create classics.—Coco Chanel Integrity in the WorkplaceNothing is illegal if a hundred businessmendecide to do it.— Andrew Young 111
  • 129. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobThe higher the buildings, the lower the morals.— Noel CowardDont steal; thoult never thus competesuccessfully in business. Cheat.— Ambrose BierceThe secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. Ifyou can fake that, you got it made.— Groucho MarxThe poor and ignorant will continue to lie andsteal as long as the rich and educated showthem how.— Elbert Hubbard Intellectual WorkIntellectual "work" is misnamed; it is apleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highestreward.— Mark Twain 112
  • 130. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Machines should work; people should think.— IBM mottoUse your brain. Its the little things that count.— Workplace graffitiEven the woodpecker owes its success to thefact that he used his head.— Unknown wise person Intelligence in the WorkplaceAlways be smarter than the people who hireyou.— Lena HorneBe smart but never show it.— Unknown wise personTo succeed in the world it is not enough to bestupid, you must be well-mannered.— Voltaire 113
  • 131. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobI can put two and two together, you know. Donot think you are dealing with a man who haslost his grapes.— Tom StoppardThe height of cleverness is to be able toconceal it.— François, Duc de La RochefoucauldThe best intelligence test is what we do withour leisure.— Laurence J. PeterThe first method for estimating the intelligenceof a ruler is to look at the men he has aroundhim.— Niccolò Machiavelli JobsWorking at a job you dont like is a lame wayto spend a good portion of your life.— Unknown wise person 114
  • 132. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.— AristotleYou dont resign from these jobs; you escapefrom them.— Dawn SteelWork is for cowards.— U. J. Puckett (pool hustler at the age of 66)With a very few exceptions the world of jobs ischaracterized by stifling boredom, grindingtedium, poverty, petty jealousies, sexualharassment, loneliness, deranged co-workers,bullying bosses, seething resentment, illness,exploitation, stress, helplessness, hellishcommutes, humiliation, depression, appallingethics, physical fatigue and mentalexhaustion.— from Idler magazineCanadians shouldnt come down to SouthernCalifornia and take jobs away from Mexicans.— Stanley Ralph Ross 115
  • 133. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobThe longer the title, the less important the job.— George McGovern Job SecurityPerform your job better than anyone else can.Thats the best job security I know.— H. Jackson Brown, Jr.The only modern fairy tale is the one thatbegins: Once upon a time, there was a securejob.— Unknown wise personWe hear of a silent generation, moreconcerned with security than integrity, withconforming than performing, with imitatingthan creating.— Thomas J. WatsonThe desire for safety stands against everygreat and noble enterprise.— Tacitus 116
  • 134. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)We can create the ultimate job security bybecoming less dependent on the organizationfor which we work and more dependent on ourown resources.— Bo Bennett KnowledgeKnowledge without wisdom is a load of bookson the back of an ass.— Japanese proverbTo know and not to do is not yet to know.— Buddhist proverb LazinessResearchers at Harvard say thattaking a power nap for an hour inthe afternoon can totally refreshyou. They say that by the time youwake up youll feel so good thatyoull be able to start looking for anew job.— Jay Leno 117
  • 135. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobA lazy person gives the workaholic somethingworthwhile to do and someone to feel happilysuperior to.— Julia SwiggumThere are only four types of officer. First, thereare the lazy stupid ones. Leave them alone,they do no harm. Second, there are the hard-working intelligent ones. They make excellentstaff officers, ensuring that every detail isproperly considered. Third, there are the hard-working, stupid ones. These people are amenace and must be fired at once. Theycreate irrelevant work for everyone. Finally,there are the intelligent lazy ones. They aresuited for the highest office.— General von Manstein about the GermanOfficer CorpsThere is no rush. If we think intelligently aboutwhat we can achieve with our time, we can berelaxed, even lazy. In fact, being lazy —having plenty of time to think — may actuallybe a precondition for achieving a great deal.— Richard Koch 118
  • 136. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)It was such a lovely day I thought it was a pityto get up.— Somerset MaughamIf you dont want to do something, one excuseis as good as another.— Jewish proverbFailure is not the only punishment for laziness:there is also the success of others.— Jules RenardI suspect guys who say, "I just send out for asandwich for lunch," as lazy men trying toimpress me.— Jimmy CannonI am the laziest man in the world. I invented allthose things to save myself from toil.— Benjamin FranklinIf you want a faster or easier way to dosomething, give it to a lazy person.— Unknown wise person 119
  • 137. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobThe man who does not betake himself at onceand desperately to sawing is called a loafer,though he may be knocking at the doors ofheaven all the while.— Henry David Thoreau LeadershipI must follow the people. Am I not theirleader?— Benjamin DisraeliIf the blind lead the blind, both shall fall intothe ditch.— The Bible (Matthew 15:14) 120
  • 138. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)A Mission Statement is a dense slab of wordsthat a large organization produces when itneeds to establish that its workers are not justsitting around downloading Internet porn.— Dave BarryCharlatanism of some degree is indispensableto effective leadership.— Eric HofferThe question, "Who ought to be boss?" is likeasking "Who ought to be the tenor in thequartet?" Obviously, the man who can singtenor.— Henry FordI start with the premise that the function ofleadership is to produce more leaders, notmore followers.— Ralph NaderA leader is a man who has the ability to getother people to do what they dont want to doand like it.— Harry S. Truman 121
  • 139. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job"My door is always open — bring me yourproblems.” This is guaranteed to turn on everywhiner, lackey and neurotic on the property.Robert F. Six (President, Continental Airlines)The best way to get on in the world is to makepeople believe its to their advantage to helpyou.— La BruyèreA leader is a dealer in hope.— Napoleon BonaparteIf you want to build a boat, do not instruct themen to saw wood, stitch the sails, prepare thetools and organize the work, but make themlong for setting sail and travel to distant lands.— Antoine De Saint-ExupéryLeadership is action, not position.— Donald H. MacGannonWhat luck for rulers that men do not think.— Adolf Hitler 122
  • 140. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)The world is full of willing people. Some willingto work, the rest willing to let them.— Robert FrostTreat people as if theywere what they ought tobe, and you help them tobecome what they arecapable of being.— Johann Wolfgang vonGoetheWherever I sit is the headof the table.— H. L. MenckenThere go my people. Imust find out where theyare going so I can lead them.— Alexandre Ledru-RollinHere comes the new bossSame as the old boss.— Pete Townshend (in his song Wont GetFooled Again) 123
  • 141. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job Leisure and WorkLeisure is the most challenging responsibilitya man can be offered.— William RussellIf I am doing nothing, I like to be doing nothingto some purpose. That is what leisure means.— Alan BennettFew Americans even know what "leisure"really means, and commonly confuse it withrecreation or time off from work, even if thattime is spent doing chores.— Shannon Mullen 124
  • 142. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Leisure tends to corrupt, and absolute leisurecorrupts absolutely.— Edgar A. ShoaffHe enjoys true leisure who has time toimprove his souls estate.— Henry David ThoreauLeisure consists in allthose virtuous activities bywhich a man growsmorally, intellectually, andspiritually. It is that whichmakes a life worth living.— CiceroIt is impossible to enjoy idling unless there isplenty of work to do.— Jerome K. JeromeLeisure may prove to be a curse rather than ablessing, unless education teaches a flippantworld leisure is not a synonym forentertainment.— William J. Bogan 125
  • 143. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobTo be able to fill leisure intelligently is the bestproduct of civilization.— Bertrand RussellLeisure time is that five or six hours when yousleep at night.— George AllenI have made this letter a rather long one, onlybecause I didnt have the leisure to make itshorter.— Blaise Pascal Leisurely LifestyleDo not mistake a crowd of big wage earnersfor the leisure class.— Clive BellIf you dont want to work you have to work toearn enough money so that you wont have towork.— Ogden Nash 126
  • 144. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Leisure is the time for doing something useful.This leisure the diligent person will obtain, thelazy one never.— Benjamin FranklinIf the soul has food for study and learning,nothing is more delightful than an old age ofleisure.— CiceroThe best test of thequality of acivilization is thequality of its leisure.— Irwin EdmanI would not exchange my leisure hours for allthe wealth in the world.— Comte de MirabeauOnly a person who can live with himself canenjoy the gift of leisure.— Henry Greber 127
  • 145. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job Life and WorkWork is life, you know, and without it, theresnothing but fear and insecurity.— John LennonLive your life, do your work, t en take your hhat.— Henry David ThoreauWork to survive, survive by consuming,survive to consume: the hellish cycle iscomplete.— Raoul VaneigemNormal is getting dressed in clothes that youbuy for work, driving through traffic in a carthat you are still paying for, in order to get tothe job that you need so you can pay for theclothes, car, and the house that you leaveempty all day in order to afford to live in it.— Ellen Goodman 128
  • 146. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) Life-Long CareerYou want a job where you will never be out ofwork — be a debt collector.— Unknown wise personWork as if you were to live a hundred years,pray as if you were to die tomorrow.— Benjamin FranklinThe secret of long life is double careers. Oneto about age sixty, then another for the nextthirty years.— David Ogilvy Loving Your WorkI like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and lookat it for hours. I love to keep it by me; the ideaof getting rid of it nearly breaks my heart.— Jerome K. JeromeAn artist is never poor.— from the movie Babettes Feast 129
  • 147. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job An Inspirational Book for the Retired, Unemployed, and Overworked By Ernie J. Zelinski • Its a definite cure for the corporate blues! • Its an excellent way to find inspiration to leave corporate life quickly and easily! • Its all about sparking your creativity and putting it to great use on leisure projects! • It’s for anyone who wants to find more joy in their work or enjoy their life to the fullest.Purchase The Joy of Not Working at: www.Amazon.com www.BarnesandNoble.com 130
  • 148. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Music is my mistress and she plays secondfiddle to no one.— Duke EllingtonDont tell my mother I work in an advertisingagency — she thinks I play piano in awhorehouse.— Jacques SeguelaI have never liked working. To me a job is aninvasion of privacy.— Danny McGoortyThere is something wrong with my eyesight. Icant see going to work.— Teddy BergeronMy work is done, why wait?— Suicide note left by Kodak founder GeorgeEastmanOh, you hate your job? Why didnt you sayso? Theres a support group for that. Its calledEVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.— Drew Carey 131
  • 149. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job LuckI am a great believer in luck and I find theharder I work, the more I have of it.— Stephen LeacockBreaks balance out. The sun dont shine onthe same ol dogs ass every day.— Darrell RoyalSuccess is just a matter of luck. Ask anyfailure.— Earl WilsonThe best you get is an even break.— Franklin P. AdamsThe worst cynicism: a belief in luck.— Joyce Carol OatesThose whom fortune has never favored aremore joyful than those whom she hasdeserted.— Seneca 132
  • 150. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)The power of fortune is confessed only by themiserable; for the happy impute all theirsuccess to prudence and merit.— Jonathan SwiftGood luck is a lazy mans estimate of aworkers success.— Unknown wise personOf course I believe in luck. How otherwise toexplain the success of people you detest?— Jean Cocteau ManagementAlways mistrust a subordinate who never findsfault with his superior [you].— John Churton CollinsManagement: an activity or artwhere those who have not yetsucceeded and those who haveproved unsuccessful are led bythose who have not yet failed.— Paulsson Frenckner 133
  • 151. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobSo much of what we call managementconsists in making it difficult for people towork.— Peter DruckerA man is known by the company heorganizes.— Ambrose BiercePeople think that at the top there isnt muchroom. They tend to think of it as an Everest.My message is that there is tons of room atthe top.— Margaret ThatcherBlessed is he who talks in circles, for he shallbecome a big wheel.— Frank DaneThe first myth of management is that it exists.The second myth of management is thatsuccess equals skill.— Robert Heller 134
  • 152. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)You dont need a Harvard MBA to know thatthe bedroom and the boardroom are just twosides of the same ballgame.— Stephen FryDo it my way or watch your butt.— Management philosophy from the movieRaising ArizonaDont say yes until Ive finished talking.— Attributed to many Hollywood executivesLots of folks confuse bad management withdestiny.— Kin HubbardIt is a novel kind of supremacy, the best thatlife can offer, to have as servants by skillthose who by nature are our masters.— Baltasar GraciánSoldiers generally win battles; generals getcredit for them.— Napoleon 135
  • 153. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobThere are an enormous number of managerswho have retired on the job.— Peter Drucker Manual LaborIts important to knowthat words dont movemountains. Work,exacting work movesmountains.— Danilo DolciWhen it comes to gettingthings done, we needfewer architects andmore bricklayers.— Colleen C. BarrettSyzygy, inexorable, pancreatic,phantasmagoria — anyone who can usethose four words in one sentence will neverhave to do manual labor.— W. P. Kinsella 136
  • 154. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) The Joy of Not Working Signs That You Are Smarter Than the Average Worker and Need This Book • You have been fired by corporations two times or more because management was threatened by your creativity and uniqueness. • You can’t even pretend to enjoy company functions. • You consider having to wear a name tag demeaning and disgusting. • You could never experience the freedom in a corporate setting to function at a high level and be happy.Purchase The Joy of Not Working at: www.Amazon.com www.BarnesandNoble.com 137
  • 155. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job Marriage and WorkA liberated woman is one who has sex beforemarriage and a job after.— Gloria SteinemA working girl is onewho quit her job to getmarried.— E. J. KieferWhen a man marrieshis mistress it createsa job opportunity.— Sir James GoldsmithWhen you see what some girls marry, yourealize how they must hate to work for a living.— Helen RowlandMarry money.— Max Shulmans advice to aspiring authors 138
  • 156. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) MeetingsWhoever invented the meeting must have hadHollywood in mind. I think they shouldconsider giving Oscars for meetings: BestMeeting of the Year, Best Supporting Meeting,Best Meeting Based on Material from AnotherMeeting.— William GoldmanMeetings are a great trap. Soon you findyourself trying to get agreement and then thepeople who disagree come to think they havea right to be persuaded. . . . . Meetings areindispensable when you dont want to doanything.— John Kenneth GalbraithI know, of course, howimportant it is not tokeep a businessengagement, if onewants to retain anysense of the beauty oflife.— Oscar Wilde 139
  • 157. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobNo grand idea was ever born in a conference,but a lot of foolish ideas have died there.— F. Scott Fitzgerald MistakesA mistake is simply another way of doingthings.— Katharine GrahamThe doctor can bury his mistakes but anarchitect can only advise his client to plantvines.— Frank Lloyd WrightI learn from my mistakes. I can make thesame mistake with greater ease the secondtime around.— Unknown wise personI make more mistakes than anyone else Iknow, and sooner or later, I patent most ofthem.— Thomas Edison 140
  • 158. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)If two wrongs dont make a right, try three.— Workplace graffitiA life spent making mistakes is not only morehonorable but more useful than a life spentdoing nothing.— George Bernard ShawQuote me if Im wrong.— Unknown wise person.More people would learn from their mistakes ifthey werent so busy denying them.— Harold J. SmithLearn from the mistakes of others — you cantlive long enough to make them all yourself.— Martin VanbeeAlways acknowledge a fault. This will throwthose in authority off their guard and give youan opportunity to commit more.— Mark Twain 141
  • 159. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job Morality of WorkThe morality of work is the morality of slaves,and the modern world has no need of slavery.— Bertrand RussellI have long been of the opinion that if workwere such a splendid thing the rich wouldhave kept more of it for themselves.— Bruce Grocott MotivationYour motivation is your paypacket on Friday. Now get onwith it.— Noel CowardThe idea that to make a manwork youve got to hold gold infront of his eyes is a growth,not an axiom. Weve done thatfor so long that weve forgottentheres any other way.— F. Scott Fitzgerald 142
  • 160. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) There is always the danger that we may just do the work for the sake of the work. This is where the respect and the love and the devotion come in- that we do it to God, to Christ, and thats why we try to do it as beautifully as possible. — Mother Teresa To work — to work! It is such infinite delight to know that we still have the best things to do. — Katherine MansfieldCLICK HERE IF YOU NEED THE MOTIVATION AND INSPIRATION TO LEAVE CORPORATE LIFE Why do men delight in work? Fundamentally, I suppose, because there is a sense of relief and pleasure in getting something done — a kind of satisfaction not unlike that which a hen enjoys on laying an egg. — H. L. Mencken We know nothing about motivation. All we can do is write books about it. — Peter Drucker 143
  • 161. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job Multi-TaskingThe shortest way to do many things is to doonly one thing at once.— Samuel SmilesThink of many things to do — do one.— Portuguese proverbOne principle reason why men are so oftenuseless is that they divide and shift theirattention among a multiplicity of objects andpursuits.— G. EmmonsYou must always work not just within butbelow your means. If you can handle threeelements, handle only two. If you can handleten, then handle only five. In that way theones you do handle, you handle with moreease, more mastery, and you create a feelingof strength in reserve.— Pablo Picasso 144
  • 162. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) Not Working for a LivingThe darkest hour in any mans life is when hesits down to plan how to get money withoutearning it.— Horace GreeleyWomen marry because they dont want towork.— Marry GardenWhen you see what some girls marry yourealize how they must hate to work for a living.— Helen Rowland New VenturesAny new venture goes through the followingstages: enthusiasm, complication,disillusionment, search for the guilty,punishment of the innocent, and decoration ofthose who did nothing.— Unknown wise person 145
  • 163. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job Obvious SolutionsOnly the most foolish of mice would hide in acats ear. But only the wisest of cats wouldthink to look there.— Scott LoveThe obscure we see eventually. Thecompletely obvious, it seems, takes longer.— Edward R. MurrowTo spell out the obvious is often to call it inquestion.— Eric Hoffer OpportunityOpportunities are usually disguised as hardwork, so most people dont recognize them.— Ann LandersDont wait for your ship to come in. Swim outto it.— Unknown wise person 146
  • 164. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)My ship came in the other day but I was at thebus depot.— Unknown wise personThe only place opportunity cannot be found isin a closed-minded person.— Bo BennettIts them who take advantage that getadvantage in this world.— George ElliottYou miss 100 percent of the shots you nevertake.— Wayne Gretzky (former NHL superstar) OverworkA womans work, grave sirs, is never done.— Mrs. Eusden 147
  • 165. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job How to Retire Happy, Wild and Free Retirement Wisdom That You Won’t Get from Your Financial Advisor! • Its about gaining the courage to take early retirement; in fact, the earlier the better. • Its about generating purpose in your retirement life with meaningful, creative pursuits. • It’s about following your dreams instead of someone else’s!Over 100,000 copies SoldPublished in 7 foreign languagesPurchase How to Retire Happy, Wild at: www.Amazon.com www.BarnesandNoble.com 148
  • 166. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)If a womans work is never done, she shouldstart earlier.— Ron Stevens More men are killed by overwork than the importance of the world justifies. — Rudyard Kipling Statistics indicate that, as a result of overwork, modern executives are dropping like flies on the nations golf courses. — Ira WallachWe live in the age of the overworked, and theunder-educated; the age in which people areso industrious that they become absolutelystupid.— Oscar WildeSo much work, so few women to do it.— Unknown wise person 149
  • 167. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobA champion of the workingman has neverbeen known to die of overwork.— Robert Frost PaperworkThe volume of paperexpands to fill the availablebriefcases.— Jerry BrownWe can lick gravity, butsometimes the paperwork isoverwhelming.— Wernher von BraunReading isnt an occupation we encourageamong police officers. We try to keep thepaperwork down to a minimum.— Joe OrtonI love being a writer. What I cant stand is thepaperwork.— Peter De Vries 150
  • 168. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) PatiencePatience: A form of despair, disguised as avirtue.— Ambrose BiercePatience is the art of concealing yourimpatience.— Unknown wise personLack of pep is often mistaken for patience.— Kin HubbardPerhaps there is only one cardinal sin:impatience. Because of impatience we weredriven out of Paradise, because of impatiencewe cannot return.— W. H. AudenPatience is bitter, but its fruits are sweet.— RosseauWho longest waits most surely wins.— Helen Hunt Jackson 151
  • 169. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobI am extraordinarily patient, provided I get myown way in the end.— Margaret Thatcher PerfectionA lot of disappointed people have been leftstanding on the street corner waiting for the busmarked Perfection.— Donald KennedyIf I only had a little humility, Id be perfect.— Ted Turner 152
  • 170. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Have no fear of perfection — youll neverreach it.— Salvador DaliThe pursuit of perfection often impedesimprovement.— George F. WillIve only met four perfect people in my life andI didnt like any of them.— Unknown wise personThere are two perfect men; one dead, and theother unborn.— Chinese proverbDo the right things instead of trying to doeverything right.— Peter DruckerThe man with insight enough to admit hislimitations comes nearest to perfection.— Johanne von Goethe 153
  • 171. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job PersistenceGod Almighty hates a quitter.— Samuel FessendenNever, never, never, never give up.— Winston ChurchillNothing in the world can take the place ofpersistence. Talent will not; nothing is morecommon than unsuccessful men with talent.Genius will not; the world is full of educatedderelicts. Persistence and determination aloneare omnipotent. The phrase press on hassolved and always will solve the problems ofthe human race.— Calvin CoolidgeIve been failing for, like, ten or eleven years.When it turns, itll turn. Right now Im justtrying to squeeze through a very tight financialperiod, get the movie out, and put my things inorder.— Francis Ford Coppola 154
  • 172. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) PlansOur plans miscarry because they have noaim. When a man does not know what harborhe is making for, no wind is the right wind.— SenecaThe best-laid plans of miceand men often go astray— Robert BurnsPlans are only good intentionsunless they immediatelydegenerate into hard work.— Peter F. DruckerWhatever plan one makes, there is a hiddendifficulty somewhere.— Vincent van GoghIn preparing for battle I have always found thatplans are useless, but planning isindispensable.— Dwight D. Eisenhower 155
  • 173. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job PowerPower tends to corrupt, andabsolute power corruptsabsolutely.— Lord ActonPower corrupts, but lack ofpower corrupts absolutely.— Adlai StevensonPower corrupts the few,while weakness corrupts the many.— Eric HofferPower is what men seek, and any group thatgets it will abuse it. It is the same old story.— Lincoln StevensThe greater the power, the more dangerousthe abuse.— Edmund Burke 156
  • 174. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)I shall be an autocrat: thats my trade. And thegood Lord will forgive me: thats his.— Catherine the GreatSlaves would be tyrants were the chancetheirs.— Victor Hugo Praise and RecognitionSoldiers win battles and generals get themedals.— NapoleonDont work for recognition, but do work worthyof recognition.— H. Jackson Brown, Jr.Nothing is harder to resist than a bit of flattery.— Arnold LobelCLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT THE PRAISE THAT AN AUTHOR CAN GET 157
  • 175. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job PrideIts a fine thing to rise above pride, but youmust have pride in order to do so.— Georges BernanosIt aint bragging if you really done it.— Dizzy Dean Problem SolvingIf you have too many problems, maybe youshould go out of business. There is no lawthat says a company must last forever.— Peter DruckerThe first step to problem solving is figuring outwhos got the problem.— Greg BrennemanA problem well stated is a problem halfsolved.— Charles F. Kettering 158
  • 176. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) It isnt that they cant see the solution. It is that they cant see the problem. — G. K. Chesterton Instead of expending time to train yourself not to be afraid of snakes, avoid them altogether. — Richard Koch When you see a snake, never mind where he came from. — W. G. BenhamDont interfere with something that aintbothering you.— Unknown wise personThe biggest trouble maker you will ever meetwatches you shave or put makeup on yourface in the mirror every morning.— Unknown wise personTo do nothing is also a good remedy.— Hippocrates 159
  • 177. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobAlmost anything is easier to get into than toget out of.— Agnes AllenNo one can solve problems for someonewhose problem is that they dont wantproblems solved.— Richard BachThe chief cause of problems is solutions.— Eric SevareidProblems that go away by themselves comeback by themselves.— Marcy DavisThere is a remedy for everything, it is calleddeath.— Portuguese proverbBeing a philosopher, I have a problem forevery solution.— Robert Zend 160
  • 178. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)A solved problem creates two new problems,and the best prescription for happy living isnot to solve any more problems than you haveto.— Russell BakerThere is no such thing as a problem without agift for you in its hands. You seek problemsbecause you need their gifts.— Richard Bach ProcrastinationWork is the greatest thing in the world, so weshould always save some of it for tomorrow.— Don Herold Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today. — Unknown wise person Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. — Mark Twain 161
  • 179. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobNever put off until tomorrow what you can getsome sucker to do today.— Workplace graffitiNever do today what you can do as welltomorrow; because something may occur tomake you regret your premature action.— Aaron BurrNever put off until tomorrow what you can putoff forever.— Workplace graffitiDont put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyedtoday.— Josh BillingsProcrastination is the art of keeping up withyesterday.— Don MarquisIt is better to begin in the evening than not atall.— English proverb 162
  • 180. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)He who hesitates is sometimes saved.— Unknown wise personLet business wait until tomorrow.— Greek proverb Productivity in the WorkplaceUnderstand the difference between being atwork and working.— Unknown wise personDo it big or stay in bed.— Larry Kelly (opera producer) 163
  • 181. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobAfter all is said and done, more is said thandone.— Unknown wise personThe production of too many useful thingsresults in too many useless people.— Karl MarxThe road to hell is paved with the pursuit ofvolume. Volume leads to marginal products,marginal customers, and greatly increasedmanagerial complexity.— Richard KochMany people — and I think I am one of them— are more productive when theyve had alittle to drink. I find if I drink two or threebrandies, Im far better able to write.— David OgilvyIt is vain to do with more what can be donewith less.— William of Occam 164
  • 182. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)One machine can do the work of fifty ordinarymen. No machine can do the work of oneextraordinary man.— Elbert HubbardThere exists above the "productive" man a yethigher species.— Friedrich Nietzsche Professions and ProfessionalsWhen I realized that what I hadturned out to be was a lousy, two-bit pool hustler and drunk, I wasntdepressed at all. I was glad to havea profession.— Danny McGoortyIt is wonderful when a calculation ismade, how little the mind is actuallyemployed in the discharge of anyprofession.— Samuel Johnson 165
  • 183. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobA professional is a man who can do his jobwhen he doesnt feel like it. An amateur is aman who cant do his job when he does feellike it.— James AgateTo depend upon a profession is a less odiousform of slavery than to depend upon a father.— Virginia WoolfAll professions are conspiracies against thelaity.— George Bernard ShawThere is something tragic about the enormousnumber of young men there are in England atthe present moment who start life with perfectprofiles, and end by adopting some usefulprofession.— Oscar WildeEighty-seven percent of all people in allprofessions are incompetent.— John Gardner 166
  • 184. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)It has been said that politics is the secondoldest profession. I have learned that it bearsa striking resemblance to the first.— Ronald ReaganA professional is a person who tells you whatyou know already, but in a way you cannotunderstand.— Unknown wise person ProgressAll progress has resultedfrom people who tookunpopular positions.— Adlai StevensonAll progress is experimental.— John Jay ChapmanProgress is not an illusion, it happens, but it isslow and invariably disappointing.— George Orwell 167
  • 185. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job Invariably, the length of a progress report is inversely proportional to the amount of progress. — Unknown wise person Progress everywhere today does seem to come so very heavily disguised as Chaos. — Joyce GrenfellProgress was all right; it just went on too long.— James ThurberWhat we call progress is the exchange of onenuisance for another nuisance.— Havelock EllisThe reasonable man adapts himself to theworld; the unreasonable one persists in tryingto adapt the world to himself. Therefore, allprogress depends on the unreasonable man.— George Bernard Shaw 168
  • 186. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) PromotionsIve been promoted to middle management. Inever thought Id sink so low.— Tim GouldIt is easier to appear worthy of a position onedoes not hold, than of the office which onefills.— François, Duc de La RochefoucauldBy working faithfully eight hours a day youmay eventually get to be a boss and worktwelve hours a day.— Robert FrostBe nice to people on the way up, becauseyoull meet them on the way down.— Wilson MiznerWhen I give a man an office, I watch himcarefully to see whether he is swelling orgrowing.— Woodrow Wilson 169
  • 187. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job Punctuality in the WorkplaceBut think how early I go.— Lord Castlerosse (when criticized forcontinually arriving late for work)Punctuality is one of the cardinal businessvirtues: always insist on it in yoursubordinates.— Don MarquisPunctuality is the thief of time.— Oscar WildePunctuality is the virtue of the bored.— Evelyn Waugh 170
  • 188. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) Purpose of Work Work is what they try to con you to do so that you will have the money to be able to buy what they try to con you to think you want. — Unknown wise person The end of labor is to gain leisure. — AristotleThe human race is faced with a cruel choice:work or daytime television.— Unknown wise personAdvertising has us chasing cars and clothes,working jobs we hate, so we can buy shit wedont need.— from the movie Fight ClubWork is what you do so that some time youwont have to do it anymore.— Alfred Polgar 171
  • 189. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobIt is God’s gift that all should eat and drink andtake pleasure in all their toil.— Bible: Hebrew, Ecclesiastes 3:13.A man perfects himself by working.— Thomas CarlyleWe work to become, not to acquire.— Elbert HubbardWork to learn. Dont work for money.— Robert KiyosakiIt is not real work unless you would rather bedoing something else.— J. M. BarrieEvery morning I get up and look through theForbes list of the richest people in America. IfIm not there, I go to work.— Robert Orben 172
  • 190. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) Research and ReportsResearch is what Im doing when I dont knowwhat Im doing.— Werner von BraunGet your facts first, and then you can distortthem as much as possible.— Mark TwainWhen the facts are in your favor,flaunt them. When the facts areout of your favor, taunt them.— Workplace graffitiIf facts do not conform to theory,they must be disposed of.— N. R. F. MaierWhat Ive learned so far from researching isthat to win the Stanley Cup, you have to makethe playoffs.— Ted Leonsis (owner of the NHLsWashington Capitals) 173
  • 191. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job ResultsPeople love chopping wood. In this activityone immediately sees results.— Albert EinsteinResults are what you expect, andconsequences are what you get.— Unknown wise personIf I choose to devote myself to certain laborswhich yield more real profit, though but littlemoney, they may be inclined to look on me asan idler.— Henry David ThoreauIf the outcome is good, whats the differencebetween motives that sound good and good,sound motives?— Laurence J. PeterWe didnt lose the game; we just ran out oftime.— Vince Lombardi 174
  • 192. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) Retirement from WorkThe best time to start thinking about yourretirement is before your boss does.— Unknown wise personWhen some fellers decide to retire nobodyknows the difference.— Kin HubbardWhen a man retires and time is no longer amatter of urgent importance, his colleaguesgenerally present him with a watch.— R.C. Sherriff 175
  • 193. Can You Answer These Questions? • Once you retire, what are you going to do about your identity that is so tied to work? • What will you do with your time if you have never learned how to enjoy your leisure? • What should you say to your spouse — and perhaps your parents — if you are retiring before them? • How will you relate to your friends who are still working while you are living the life of an aristocrat? How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free provides you with inspirational answers not to be found in other books. Indeed, it offers Retirement Wisdom That You Won’t Get from Your Financial Advisor. Purchase The World’s Best Retirement Book at fine bookstores and through: www.Amazon.com www.BarnesandNoble.com
  • 194. A Letter from a Reader of How to Retire Happy, Wild, and FreeDear Ernie.I enjoyed your book How to Retire Happy,Wild, and Free.It sure is “Retirement Wisdom That YouWont Get from Your FinancialAdvisor.” Published in 7I am going to give it to my Foreign Languagesfinancial advisor to read next. PurchaseI cant wait for another book by The World’s Bestyou. Retirement BookHave a great fall and winter. (240 pages) at www.amazon.comThanks, or www.barnesandnoble.com with the direct links.Mavis MarkoSaskatoon, Saskatchewan
  • 195. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Retirement is the ugliest word in the language.— Ernest HemingwayTo retire is the beginning of death.— Pablo CasalsI think it [retirement] beats the heck out of lifeafter death, thats for sure.— Martina NavratilovaRetirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When Iwas sixty-five, I still had pimples.— George Burns One of the problems of retirement is that it gives you more time to read about the problems of retirement. — Unknown wise person In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. — Mason Cooley 177
  • 196. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job Retirement can be a great joy if you can figure out how to spend time without spending money. — Unknown wise person Theres one thing I always wanted to do before I quit . . . . retire! — Groucho MarxFor More Great Retirement Quotations Go to: www.Retirement-Quotes.com Rewards from Work Work is much more fun than fun. — Noel Coward 178
  • 197. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)The highest reward that God gives us for goodwork is the ability to do better work.— Elbert Hubbard To get profit without risk, experience without danger, and reward without work, is as impossible as it is to live without being born. — A. P. Gouthey After youve worked hard to get what you want, take the time to enjoy it. — H. Jackson Brown, Jr. Risk TakingDont play for safety — its the mostdangerous thing in the world.— Hugh WalpoleIf you run, you might lose. If you dont run,youre guaranteed to lose.— Jesse L. Jackson 179
  • 198. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobHe that is afraid to shake the dice will neverthrow a six.— Chinese proverbIf you dont risk anything, you risk even more.— Unknown wise personTwenty years from now you will be moredisappointed by the things that you didnt dothan by the ones you did do. So throw off thebowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor.Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore.Dream. Discover.— Mark Twain Rocking the BoatThe nail that sticks up gets hammered down.— Japanese proverbIts better to be a lion for a day than a sheepall your life.— Sister Elizabeh Kenny 180
  • 199. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) Rules in the WorkplaceCreativity comes by breaking the rules, bysaying youre in love with the anarchist.— Anita RoddickWomen have the feeling that since they didntmake the rules, the rules have nothing to dowith them.— Diane JohnsonWe started off trying to set u an anarchist porganization, but no one would obey the rules.— Unknown wise personThere aint no rules around here! Were tryingto accomplish something!— Thomas Alva EdisonWhen policy fails, try thinking.— Unknown wise personTheres a deception to every rule.— Hal Lee Luyah 181
  • 200. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobIf I had permission to do everything, I wouldntwant to do anything.— Joe PalenRules are for the obedience of fools and theguidance of wise men.— David Ogilvy If your company has a clean-desk policy, the company is nuts and youre nuts to stay there. — Tom Peters Rules of Work Always obey your superiors — if you have any. — Mark TwainThree rules of work1. Out of clutter, find simplicity.2. From discord, find harmony.3. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.— Albert Einstein 182
  • 201. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it. — Mark Twain Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first. — Josh Billings If a person offend you, and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures, simply watch your chance and hit him with a brick. — Mark TwainCLICK HERE IF YOU HATE RULES AND WOULD LIKE TO HAVE MORE PERSONAL FREEDOM Quitting Work Is it hot in the rolling mill? Are the hours long? Is $15 a day not enough? Then escape is easy. Simply throw up your job, spit on your hands, and write another "Rosenkavailer." — H. L. Mencken 183
  • 202. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobSome people think its holding on that makesone strong; sometimes its letting go.— Sylvia RobinsonCLICK HERE IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO QUIT CORPORATE LIFE AND LIVE IN STYLEA working girl is one who quit her job to getmarried.— E. J. KieferAnyone who says he isnt going to resign, fourtimes, definitely will.— John Kenneth Galbraith 184
  • 203. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) Salaries and Wages People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up. — Ogden Nash They pretend to pay us and we pretend to work. — Soviet Union worker slogan My take home pay wont get me there. — Workplace graffitiWere overpaying him, but hes worth it.— Samuel GoldwynIf you are only doing what you are getting paidfor, and doing it no better than the averageemployee, then your pay is most likely rightwhere it should be.— Bo Bennett 185
  • 204. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job SchedulesIts amazing how long it takes to completesomething you are not working on.— Unknown wise personThree oclock is always too late or too early foranything you want to do.— Jean-Paul SartreHofstadters Law: It always takes longer thanyou expect, even when you take into accountHofstadters Law.— Douglas Hofstadter 186
  • 205. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)If you dont have enough time to accomplishsomething, consider the work finished onceits begun.— John GageTHE REAL 80-20 PRINCIPLE: The first 80percent of the project takes 80 percent of thetime and the last 20 percent of the projecttakes another 80 percent of the time.— Workplace graffitiSecrets to Success at Ones Work To be successful you have to be lucky, or a little mad, or very talented, or to find yourself in a rapid-growth field. — Edward de Bono The only way to succeed is to make people hate you. — Josef von Sternberg The secret to success is to offend the greatest number of people. — George Bernard Shaw 187
  • 206. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobI owe my success to having listenedrespectfully to the very best advice, and thengoing away and doing the exact opposite.— G. K. ChestertonIf A is a success in life, then A equals x plus yplus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keepingyour mouth shut.— Albert Einstein Self-EmploymentWhat the hell do you want to work forsomebody else for? Work for yourself!— Irving Berlins advice to young songwriterGeorge GershwinSurprisingly, even though I am now self-employed I still have a jerk for a boss.— Unknown wise personI probably couldnt play for me. I wouldnt likemy attitude.— John Thompson 188
  • 207. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) Shabby WorkA little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons ofexplanation.— H. H. MunroA work ill done must be twice done.— Unknown wise personSome men are born mediocre, some menachieve mediocrity, and some men havemediocrity thrust upon them.— Joseph HellerDo the important things in excellence; if youdont find time to the important things right,you will have to find time to do them overagain.— Unknown wise personIt takes less time to do things right than toexplain why you did it wrong.— Henry Wadsworth Longfellow 189
  • 208. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job Speech Making It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. — Mark Twain What orators lack in depth they make up to you in length. — Baron de Montesquieu When both a speaker and an audience are confused, the speech is profound. — Oscar WildeI would tell myself that I was about to addressthe largest mass assembly of idiots evergathered in the history of mankind.— Winston Churchill (when asked how he wasable to make great speeches)The best audience is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk.— Alben W. Barkley 190
  • 209. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)I know heaps of quotations, so I can alwaysmake quite a fair show of knowledge.— O. DouglasI always have a quotation for everything — itsaves original thinking.— Dorothy L. SayersAn audience is never wrong. An individualmember of it may be an imbecile, but athousand imbeciles together in the dark —that is critical genius.— Billy WilderMost people can tire of a lecture in fifteenminutes, clever people can do it in five, andsensible people dont go to lectures at all.— Stephen LeacockI never failed to convince an audience that thebest thing they could do was to go away.— Thomas Love Peacock 191
  • 210. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job Statistics Statistics: A group of numbers looking for an argument. — Unknown wise person He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts — for support rather than illumination. — Andrew LangThere are three kinds of lies: lies, damnedlies, and statistics.— Benjamin DisraeliThere are two kinds of statistics, the kind youlook up and the kind you make up.— Rex StoutOh, people can come up with statistics toprove anything. 14 percent of people knowthat.— Homer Simpson 192
  • 211. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Statistics are for losers.— Scotty Bowman (former NHL coach) Stress in the WorkplaceOne of the symptoms of anapproaching nervous breakdown isthe belief that ones work is terriblyimportant.— Bertrand RussellThe time to relax is when you donthave time for it.— Sydney J. HarrisIt was Einstein who made the realtrouble. He announced in 1905 thatthere was no such thing as absoluterest. After that there never was.— Stephen LeacockFor immediate stress relief, bang your headon the wall three times.— Workplace graffiti 193
  • 212. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobTo reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spendmore time with your spouse.— Robert OrbenI think that maybe in every company todaythere is always at least one person who isgoing crazy slowly.— Joseph Heller Success QuotesThe play was a great success, but theaudience was a total failure.— Oscar WildeI cannot give you the formula for success, butI can give you the formula for failure – whichis: Try to please everybody.— Herbert Bayard SwopeAll my life people have said that I wasnt goingto make it.— Ted Turner 194
  • 213. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free The World’s Best Retirement Book! • Its about working at your own fun job or operating a fun unconventional business. • Its about gaining courage to escape the corporate world so that you don’t have to spend the rest of your life trapped in a cubicle. • It’s about experiencing true personal freedom in all areas of your life. Over 100,000 copies Sold Published in 7 Foreign LanguagesPurchase How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free at: www.Amazon.com www.BarnesandNoble.com 195
  • 214. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobTo be a success in business, be daring, befirst, be different.— MarchantThe successful men of action are notsufficiently self-observant to know exactly onwhat their success depends.— Joseph JacobsI joined the army, and I succeeded in killingabout as many of the enemy as they of me.— Bill ArpSuccess. I dont believe it has any effect onme. For one thing I always expected it.— W. Somerset MaughamIf you want to sell em fish, sell em big fish.Thats the secret to success.— Jack SolomonsThe worst part of success is trying to findsomeone who is happy for you.— Bette Midler 196
  • 215. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) Success is relative: It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things. — T. S. Eliot You have to be a bastard to make it, and thats a fact. And the Beatles are the biggest bastards on earth. — John Lennon Success is doing what you like and making a living at it. — Greek proverb There is only one success — to be able to spend your life in your own way. — Christopher MorleyFor More Great Inspirational Quotes and Sayings www.Real-Success.ca Talent I dont have a lot of respect for talent. Talent is genetic. Its what you do with it that counts. — Martin Ritt 197
  • 216. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobLook at me. Worked myself up from nothing toa state of extreme poverty.— S. J. PerelmanAnyone who can walk to the welfare office canwalk to work.— Al Capp TeamworkIf you want a track team towin the high jump you mustfind one person who can jumpseven feet, not seven peoplewho can jump one foot.— Unknown wise personTeamwork magically inspiresour group to come up withsolutions that are consistentlyand considerably dumber thanany one of us.— Workplace graffiti 198
  • 217. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)What the crowd requires is mediocrity of thehighest order.— Auguste PréaultA team effort is a lot of people doing what Isay.— Michael WinnerWhen all think alike, no one thinks very much.— Walter LippmannCreativity varies inversely with the number ofcooks involved in the broth.— Bernice Fitz-GibbonI never can understand how two men canwrite a book together; to me thats like threepeople getting together to have a baby.— Evelyn WaughWe have only one person to blame, and thatseach other.— Barry Beck (professional hockey playerwho started a brawl) 199
  • 218. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobTeamwork is essential. It allows you to blamesomeone else.— Finagles Rule Time ManagementThose who make the worst use of their timemost complain of its shortness.— La BruyèreThings that matter most must never be at themercy of things that matter least.— Johann Wolfgang von GoetheRemember that time is money.— Benjamin Franklin 200
  • 219. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Theres never enough time to do all thenothing you want.— Bill WattersonIts simply fantastic the amount of work youcan get done if you dont do anything else.— Unknown wise personWork expands so as to fill the time availablefor its completion. General recognition of t hisfact is shown in the proverbial phrase "It is thebusiest man who has time to spare."— C. Northcote ParkinsonWell-arranged time is the surest mark of awell-arranged mind.— Sir Isaac PitmanThe best way to fill time is to waste it.— Marguerite DurasThe more you think, the more time you have.— Henry Ford 201
  • 220. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobDont say you dont have enough time. Youhave exactly the same number of hours perday that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur,Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo daVinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.— H. Jackson Brown, Jr. Unemployment Unemployment is capitalisms way of getting you to plant a garden. — Orson Scott Card To toil for a hard master is bitter, but to have no master to toil for is more bitter still. — Oscar WildeThe trouble with unemployment is that theminute you wake up in the morning youre onthe job.— Slappy White 202
  • 221. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)When were unemployed, were called lazy;when the whites are unemployed its called adepression.— Jesse JacksonWhat you want to do is not go to work. Yourenot missing a thing. The worst thing I did wasstart work young.— Jimmy BreslinWhen more and more people are thrown outof work, unemployment results.— Calvin CoolidgeDont feel bad about being unemployed, Dad.Ive been unemployed all my life and its fun.— Kid talking to his father in GlasbergonCartoonMy son is now an "entrepreneur." Thats whatyoure called when you dont have a job.— Ted Turner 203
  • 222. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job UnionsIn union there is strength.— LaberiusIn union there are strikes.— Unknown wise personIf capital an labor ever do get together itsgood night for the rest of us.— Kin HubbardTrade Union: A system whereby bad workmenreceive the same wages as good workmen.— Unknown wise personMy uncle is in trouble with his union. Theycaught him working on the job.— Joey AdamsHow could God create Earth in only six days?Simple: There were no union workers to slowthings down.— Workplace graffiti 204
  • 223. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Organized labor still has privileges and legalimmunities that even kings and governmentslost years ago.— Roscoe Pound Unusual Ways to Earn a LivingI cant do no literary work for the rest of thisyear because Im meditating another lawsuitand looking around for a defendant.— Mark TwainI saw a sign at a gas station. It said "helpwanted". There was another sign below it thatsaid "self service". So I hired myself. Then Imade myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. Ipaid myself. Then I quit.— Steven WrightThe avocation of assessing the failures ofbetter men can be turned into a comfortablelivelihood, providing you back it up with aPh.D.— Nelson Algren 205
  • 224. Retired Happy, Wild, and Free!The World’s Best Retirement Book Shows You How • It’s about generating purpose in your retirement life with meaningful, creative pursuits. Purchase How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free at fine bookstores and through these direct links: www.Amazon.com www.BarnesandNoble.com
  • 225. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) VocationsWhere your talents and the needs of the worldcross, there lies your vocation.— AristotleBlessed is he who has found his work. Let himask no other blessedness.— Thomas CarlyleIf you get to be thirty-five and your job stillinvolves wearing a name tag, youve probablymade a serious vocational error.— Dennis Miller 207
  • 226. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobWriting is not a profession but a vocation ofunhappiness.— George Simenon Wasted TimePeople waste more time waiting for someoneto take charge of their lives than they do inany other pursuit.— Gloria SteinemTime is what we want most, but …. what weuse worst.— William PennThe time you enjoy wasting is not wastedtime.— Laurence J. PeterI cannot afford to waste my time makingmoney.— Jean Louis Rodolphe Agassiz (when askedto give a lecture for a large fee) 208
  • 227. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)It is observed that successful people getahead in the time that other people waste.— Henry Ford Winners and LosersAll th world loves a good loser.— Kin Hubbard Show me a good loser and I will show you a [real] loser. — Paul NewmanIts not whether you win or lose, its how youplay the game.— Grantland RiceGrantland Rice can go to hell as far as I’mconcerned.— Gene Autry 209
  • 228. Retired Happy, Wild, and Free!The World’s Best Retirement Book Shows You How • It’s about how you can awaken to the beauty of the world around you. • Above all, it’s about how you can be happier in retirement than you have ever been before. Purchase How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free through this direct link: www.Amazon.com
  • 229. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Have no sympathy for people who claim to be"victims" at work. "They arent victims, butlosers.— Joep SchrijversIt is not whether you win or lose, but who getsthe blame.— Blaine Nye"How you play the game" is for college boys.When youre playing for money, winning is theonly thing that counts.— Leo Durocher WorkaholicsFew people do business wellwho do nothing else.— Lord ChesterfieldThey intoxicate themselves withwork so they wont see how they really are.— Aldous Huxley 211
  • 230. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobAll work and no play makes Jack a dull boy —and Jill a wealthy widow.— Evan EsarA considerable number of persons are able toprotect themselves against the outbreak ofserious neurotic phenomena only throughintense work.— Karl AbrahamWork with some men is as besetting a sin asidleness.— Samuel ButlerIt is seldom that an American retires frombusiness to enjoy his fortune in comfort. Heworks because he has always worked, andknows no other way.— Thomas NicholsWork is the refuge of people who havenothing better to do.— Oscar Wilde 212
  • 231. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) Working for FreeHe charged nothing for his preaching and itwas worth it too.— Mark TwainAsk yourself, "If all jobs paid $2 an hour, whatjob would I want to do?" When you answerthat question, start doing it, even if you haveto do it for free at first.— Greg AldrikI was proud to work with the great Gershwin,and I would have done it for nothing, which Idid.— Howard Dietz Working FoolsAnybody who works is a fool. I dont work, Imerely inflict myself on the public.— Robert MorleyThe wise dont work.— Van Tu 213
  • 232. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobThe ant is knowing and wise, but he doesntknow enough to take a vacation.— Clarence Day Worry and WorkHow much pain have cost us the evils whichhave never happened.— Thomas JeffersonThe reason why worry kills more people thanwork is that more people worry than work.— Robert FrostDont worry if your job is small and therewards few; remember that the mighty oakwas once a nut like you.— Unknown wise personDont worry about the job you dont like.Someone else will soon have it.— Unknown wise person 214
  • 233. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Nothing in the affairs of men is worthy of greatanxiety.— PlatoSometimes I worry about being a success in amediocre world.— Lily TomlinWorry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow;it empties today of its strength.— Corrie Ten BoomStop worrying about the potholes in the roadand celebrate the journey!— Barbara HoffmanRule #1: Dont sweat the small stuff. Rule #2:Its all small stuff.— Michael Mantell 215
  • 234. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real Job Work EthicIf work is so terrific, howcome they have to pay youto do it?— George CarlinIf hard work was such awonderful thing, the richwould have kept it all tothemselves.— Lane KirklandPersonally, I have nothing against work,particularly when performed, quietly andunobtrusively, by someone else. I just donthappen to think its an appropriate subject foran "ethic."— Barbara EhrenreichYoull never succeed in idealizing hard work.Before you can dig mother earth youve got totake off your ideal jacket. The harder a manworks, at brute labour, the thinner becomeshis idealism, the darker his mind.— D. H. Lawrence 216
  • 235. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace) Working Smart and Not HardDont overdo things that shouldnt be done inthe first place.— Unknown wise personDoing a thing well is often a waste of time.— Robert ByrneIf you burn the candle at both ends, you arenot as bright as you think.— Unknown wise person 217
  • 236. Retired Happy, Wild, and Free!The World’s Best Retirement Book Shows You How • It’s about following your own dreams instead of someone else’s. Purchase How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free at fine bookstores and through these direct links: www.Amazon.com www.BarnesandNoble.com
  • 237. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Nothing matters very much, and few thingsmatter at all.— Earl BalfourLearn to distinguish between these three: 1:Some things need doing better than you oranyone has ever done them before. 2: Somejust need doing to get by. 3: Some are notnecessary; they dont need doing and are bestleft to the misfits of this world to pursue.— from Real Success WITHOUT a Real JobDo whats right, the right way, at the right time.— Arnold Glasow Writers at WorkWriting is easy. All you do is stareat a blank sheet of paper until dropsof blood form on your forehead.— Gene FowlerWhy do writers write? Because itisnt there.— Thomas Berger 219
  • 238. Ernie J. Zelinski, Author of Real Success Without a Real JobIt took me fifteen years to discover I had notalent for writing, but I couldnt give it up,because by that time I was too famous.— Robert BenchleyThe books I havent written are better than thebooks other people have.— Cyril V. ConnollyWrite drunk; edit sober.— Ernest HemingwayIm a lousy writer; a helluva lot of people havegot lousy taste.— Grace MetaliousWhen I had got my notes all written out Ithought Id polish it off in two summers, but ittook me twenty-seven years.— Arnold ToynbeeWho am I to tamper with a masterpiece?— Oscar Wilde (on refusing to makealterations to one of his plays) 220
  • 239. 1001 Best Things Ever Said about Work (and the Workplace)Write out of love, write out of instinct, write outof reason. But always for money.— Louis Untermeyer Zen at Work Ultimately nothing matters and so what if it did? — Unknown wise person Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. — Albert EinsteinDo every act of your life as if it were your last.— Marcus AureliusThe obstacle is the path.— Zen proverb 221
  • 240. About the AuthorErnie J. Zelinski is a leadingauthority on early retirement andsolo-entrepreneurship. He is theauthor of Career Success Withouta Real Job, the bestseller How toRetire Happy, Wild, and Free (over100,000 copies sold and published in7 languages), and The Joy of NotWorking (over 225,000 copies soldand published in 17 languages). To date Ernie’s books have soldover 550,000 copies worldwide.Ernie’s latest book is 101 ReallyImportant Things You AlreadyKnow, But Keep Forgetting. Contact Ernie at ez-books@telus.net . Retirement Resources by Ernie Zelinski (Links Work) Retirement Sayings Café Blog Retirement Planning Blog Creative Free E-books The Retirement Quotes Café The Joy of Not Working Sample Retirement Letters Retirement Speeches Where to Retire in the World 1001 Ways to Enjoy Your Retirement Best Retirement Poems and Best Retirement Gifts
  • 241. Free Creative E-books by Ernie Zelinski Available at: The Retirement Gifts Café Also at: Creative Free E-Books