Interpersonal Skills include communication skills as persuading, listening, and influencing; Leadership skills as prob;em solving, decision making, conflict resolution and finally Team Management as delegating and motivating Diversity and culture competence are factors as well http:/www.saharconsulting.com

1. Maximizing
Interpersonal Skills
Human Synergy at Work
City Of Burbank
Sahar Consulting, LLC
Sahar Andrade, MB.BCh

2. Positive personal Impact
1- Confidence 2- Credibility 3- Competence

3. Creating a Powerful Introduction
Three steps to introducing yourself effectively:
1. Project warmth and confidence.
2. State your first name and your last name.
3. When the other person has given their
name, repeat it in acknowledgment.

4. Interpersonal Skills
Include
• Effectively translating and conveying
information.
• Being able to accurately interpret
other people's emotions.
• Being sensitive to other people's
feelings.
• Calmly arriving at resolutions to
conflict.
• Avoiding gossip.
• Being polite

5. Interpersonal skills

6. Uncivil Behavior-
Difficult People
• Failing to acknowledge another person‟s presence
• Using abusive language
• Gossiping
• Discounting employee contribution
• Bullying and intimidating co-workers
• Sabotaging individual and company efforts
• Discriminating against a particular individual or group
• Practicing insensitivity against co-workers‟ needs
• Practicing poor etiquette in dealing with correspondence

7. What is effective Communications
• Using appropriate understandable
language
• Transmitting a clear message to be
received the way intended.
• Developing relationships with others.
• Avoiding the communication Barriers
• Communication that installs
trust, openness, honesty&
cooperation.
• Providing feedback.

8. Non-Verbal Communications
Silence,
Appearance Body
Time, and
Language
Space
Facial
Expressions
Sound Gesture
Body
Language
Smell Posture
Movement

9. Nonverbal Communication
• Body Movement
– Unconscious motions that provide
meaning
– Shows extent of interest
• Intonations and Voice Emphasis
– The way something is said can change
meaning
– Silence
• Facial Expressions
– Show emotion or not
• Personal Space
– Depends on cultural norms
– Can express interest or status

10. Positive Feedback
1. Kiss- Slap - Kiss
2. Show interest and your willingness to
help
3. Explain the problem and show
solutions
4. Give encouraging suggestions
5. Criticize an issue and not a person.
6. Do not bring out past failures or
problems
7. Avoid the Blame game
8. Be aware of negative criticism
9. Consider the source

11. Active Listening
Active listening is the basis of
effective communications
Noise can get in the way of active
listening by the receiver.
Types of Noise
Steps of Active Listening
The monk and the tea pot

12. Influencing People
Seeing the other side
Build a Bridge
Actively Listen
Same Language
Highlight Similarities

13. What is Conflict?
• Opposition leads to Conflict or
when a solution cannot be found
for a disagreement.
• Is a disagreement where the
parties involved perceive a threat
to their needs, well-
being, interests or concerns.
• Threat perceived can be
physical, emotional, power, statu
s, intellectual, etc.

14. Interpersonal Conflict
Conflict is the
• Needs- ignoring our or others‟ needs
energy (positive
• Values-holding incompatible, unclear values and/ or
• Unresolved Disagreements negative) that
• Feelings and Emotions- Ignoring own or builds up when
others' feelings and emotions individuals or
• Underlying Stress and Tension- demands groups of
exceeds our capacity to deal/ deliver people pursue
• Ego problem- Not admitting own incompatible
mistakes, Personality Clashes goals to meet
• Power- trying to make others change their their needs and
actions or to gain an unfair advantage interests

15. Conflict Styles
Based on Thomas& Kilmann
There is no one best way to deal with conflict. It
depends on the current situation. Here are the
major ways that people use to deal with conflict:
Withdrawing Attacking
Smoothing Compromising Confronting

16. Conflict Resolution
Is a range of processes aimed at alleviating
or eliminating sources of conflict.
Steps:
1. "Know Thyself" and Take Care of Self
2. Clarify Personal Needs Threatened by the
Dispute
3. Identify a Safe Place for Negotiation
4. Take a Listening Stance into the
Interaction
5. Assert Your Needs Clearly and
Specifically
6. Approach Problem-Solving with Flexibility
7. Build an Agreement that Works

17. Ground Rules Statements reflecting people's best
intentions regarding how they wish to
treat one another in civil dialogue.
1) One person speaks at a time.
2) Commitment to listen, understand
first
3) It is confidential, unless otherwise
stated
4) Talk directly with the person and
not involve others in "gossip" or
"alliance building.“
5) Do the our hardest/ best possible
6) Offer safe environment -
harassment free
7) Attack the issues, not the people

18. Tips for conflict resolution
1. Put yourself in the other person's shoes.
2. Don‟t be judgmental. Do not embarrass the
other person.
3. Never accuse anyone
4. Watch your body language as posture, tone
of voice, and facial expressions
5. Do not take it personally in conflicts people
night say things they don‟t mean
6. Let the other person know that you want to
find a win-win resolution
7. Apologize for anything you may have said or
done to offend them.

19. Be Tactful
T = Think before you speak
A = Apologize quickly when you blunder
C = Converse, don‟t compete
T = Time your comments
F = Focus on behavior – not personality
U = Uncover hidden feelings
L = Listen to feedback

20. Resolving Conflicts
Dialogue has six rules:
1. Be Open& Suspend Judgment
2. Keep Dialogue & Decision making separate
3. Speak for yourself and not as a representative
& Treat all participants as peers
4. Listen for understanding with empathy,
acknowledge that you heard, and that you care
5. Look for common ground& Identify on what you
agree
6. Search for and disclose hidden assumptions
especially in yourself

21. Emotional Intelligence
1. Think intelligently about our emotions to
think more intelligently, and regulate
others‟ emotions by influencing and
engaging and motivating groups
2. People resonate to people who connect
to them emotionally. Learned ability
3. Can reduce stress by decreasing
conflict, improving
relationships, understanding, increasing
stability, continuity and harmony. Start
within by self awareness and continues
outwardly in how they impact and

22. IQ (Genetic) VS. EI (Learned)
People with EQ, even with average
IQ have been found to be more
successful because they are social,
empathetic and cheerful‟.
IQ is mostly determined by genetics
and so it can not be changed
drastically.
But EQ is mostly learned and
people can be trained.

23. Having People’s Skills is
1. Effective Communication
2. Understanding People
3. Expressing Yourself clearly
4. Asserting your needs
5. Exchanging Feedback
6. Influencing Others
7. Resolving Conflicts
8. Being a Team player

24. Emotional Intelligence
The elements of “EI” include:
1. Self-Awareness: Knowing your
emotions and their effects.
2. Self-Management: Knowing how to
manage your emotions, how to keep
disruptive impulses in check. Being
flexible and comfortable with new ideas.
3. Social Awareness: Ability to listen, to be
persuasive, to nurture relationships.
4. Relationship Management: Ability to
influence others, handle
conflict, develop, lead and work with

25. Five stages:
How can you develop
1. Identify your ideal self
2. Identify your real self
EI skills?
3. Specify any gaps, establish
your goals and establish a list
of activities to help reach them,
4. Experimentation, practice and
reflection
5. Support through trusting
relationships

26. Assertiveness vs. Aggressiveness
Assertiveness
Your Needs Their Needs
Aggressiveness Submission

27. Assertiveness
Assertiveness is a measure of the degree to which you see
yourself as tending to ASK or as tending to TELL as you
interact with others
Equally
Ask Assertive Tell Assertive
Important Tend to be opinionated
Tend to be
cautious, reserved about & forceful, makes
sharing statements, declaration
opinions, questioning, lo and direct actions of
w key and quiet. others

28. Assertiveness
ME
ASK Assertive TELL Assertive
• Slower Pace • Faster Pace
• Fewer Statements • More Statements
• Quieter Volume • Louder Volume
• Non Directive • Directive
• Relaxed use of hands • Points hands for emphasis
• Leans Backwards • Leans Forward
• Indirect Eye Contact • Direct Eye Contact

29. Responsiveness
(Emotional)
Is a measure of the degree to which you see
yourself as tending to control your feelings i.e. keep
them inside or display them to others
B Control: Do not show any
e feelings publicly
h
a
v
i
o Emote: Readily share
r feelings, express anger, joy&
s Hurt feelings

30. Styles
More Controlling More Emoting
• Monotone • Inflection
• Task Subjects • People Subjects
• Tasks/ Data • Opinions/ Stories
• Less Use of hands • More use of hands
• Rigid Posture • Casual Posture
• Controlled facial • Animated facial
expression expression

31. Control
Monotone, Task Subjects, Tasks/ Data, Less Use of
Theory hands, Rigid Posture, Controlled facial expression
ASK TELL
Assertive Assertive
Slower Pace, Fewer Faster Pace, More
Statements, Quieter Statements, Louder
Volume, Non Directive, Volume, Directive,
Relaxed use Of Hands, Use Of Hands, Leans
Leans Backwards, Forward, Direct Eye
Indirect Eye Contact Contact
Emote
Inflection, People Subjects, Opinions/ Stories, More Use
of hands, Casual Posture, Animated facial expression

32. Framework
Conscientious/ Analytical Dominant/ Driving
ASK Assertiveness+ Emotion TELL Assertive+ Emotion
Control Control
Influential/ Amiable Steadiness/ Expressive
ASK Assertive + Emotive TELL Assertive+ Emotive

33. Conscientious/ Dominant/
Analytical Driving
Framework
Thorough, Serious, Sy Efficient, Decisive, Candid
stematic, Prudent , Independent
Influential/ Steadiness/
Amiable Expressive
Cooperative, Supportive, Di Enthusiastic, Spontaneous,
plomatic, Patient Outgoing, Persuasive, Fun
Loving

34. More Facts
Conscientious/ Analytical Dominant/ Driving
Needs to be right, Orientation: Needs: Results, Orientation:
Thinking, Back-up: Withdraw Action, Back-up: Take Charge
Influential/ Amiable Steadiness/ Expressive
Needs Personal Needs Approval,
security, Orientation: Orientation: Spontaneity,
Relationships, Back-up: Goes Back-up: Confront
along

35. They Need To:
Conscientious/ Analytical Dominant/ Driving
To Declare To Listen
Influential/ Amiable Steadiness/ Expressive
To Initiate To Check

36. ALL STYLES
Uses
Conscientious/ Analytical Data Dominant/ Driving
1. Historical 1- Cost
Data Benefit
2. Doing is Analysis
Experience 2- Pushing to
conclusion
Avoids Takes
Risks Risks
1- Relation- 1- Vivid
based 2- Dramatic
2- Trust& 3- Testimonies
Reassurance
Influential/ Amiable Uses Steadiness/ Expressive
Opinions

37. To Develop Better EI
Understand both your strengths and your weaknesses
Attend to detail and complete projects
Stay open-minded to change and new ideas
Intrinsic motivation and commitment
Always be optimistic, even in trouble
Put yourself in others‟ shoes
Let customers‟ needs determine how you serve them
Enjoy helping co-workers develop their skills
Know office politics and rules
Find „win-win‟ solutions
Work well on teams
Persuade others

38. 11 Tips To Improve Your Interpersonal Skills
1. Set the ground for respectful communication
2. Work on your attitude.
3. Have reasonable expectations.
4. Chose the right time and place
5. Watch your body Language, have an open
demeanor
6. Actively listen and respond periodically.
7. Avoid “fire starters” such as: hot words, over-
dramatization, blaming, guilt induction, and
past events
8. Choose to behave assertively. Avoid being
aggressive
9. Stay focused on the issue
10. Reflect upon the interaction and get ready to
keep developing the relationship.
11. Be ready to change and keep exploring
continuously.

39. DiSC- Pre-Dominant Character

40. DiSC- Pre-Dominant Character

41. Best way to deal with “D”
•
D
Direct/ Demanding
• Results-oriented
• Determined  Come prepared
• Outspoken
 Be specific and stick
• Domineering to business
• Heavy Authority/
Responsibility  Present facts logically
and efficiently
• Adventuresome
• Decisive/ Confident  Stress “what,” not
• Challenging “how”
• Competitive  Ask questions to get
• Quick opinions
• Risk-taker

42. Best way to deal with “I”
•
I
Enthusiastic
• Positive/ Talkative
• Generous
• Motivational
 Engage in stimulating,
• Persuasive fast-moving interaction
• Friendly
 Talk about people and
• Self-confident their goals
• Trusting/ Poised
 Ask for opinions
• Sociable/Popular
 Put details in writing
• Impulsive
• Emotional  Leave time for
socializing
• Self-promoting

43. Best way to deal with “S”
• Dependable/Helpful
S •
•
•
Easygoing
Restrained
 Present ideas non-
threateningly
Considerate/ Sympathetic  Stress “what” and
“how”
• Procedure-oriented
• Predictable  Patiently draw out
personal goals and
• Possessive assist in the
• Patient/ Calm/ Steady achievement of
those goals
• Deliberate
• Loyal  Clearly define
roles& goals
• Team Player/Loyal
 Persuade with
• Asks “How?” assurances of
support

44. Best way to deal with “C”
C •
•
•
Accurate/Precise
Controlling
Worrisome
 Prepare details in
advance
• Thorough/Prepared  Support ideas with
accurate data; list pros
• Systematic and cons
• Risk-reducing
 Be patient; allow for
• Conventional changes& criticisms
• Cautious/Logical  Jointly schedule
• Organized/Neat implementation plans
• Perfectionist/ Critical  Persuade with
guarantees and
• Detail-oriented contingency plans
• Asks “Why?”

45. Workbook
• This workbook is the intellectual property of, and is proprietary to
Sahar Consulting, LLC and it is not to be disclosed, in whole or in
part, without the express written authorization of Sahar
Consulting, LLC. It shall not be duplicated or used, in whole or in
part, for any purpose other than to be educational material for the
“Interpersonal Relationships- Human Synergy at Work” workshop
training for the City Of Burbank. The workbook can‟t be used in part
of whole in the same program/ similar or different programs if not
facilitated by Sahar Consulting, LLC.
• The pictures are being used ONLY for educational purposes and
are copy righted
• Credit to Richard Chang& Associates

46. Sahar Andrade, MB.BCh
Sahar Consulting, LLC
www.saharconsulting.com