Maximizing Interpersonal Skills

Maximizing Interpersonal Skills Human Synergy at Work City Of BurbankSahar Consulting, LLCSahar Andrade, MB.BCh

Positive personal Impact1- Confidence 2- Credibility 3- Competence

Creating a Powerful IntroductionThree steps to introducing yourself effectively:1. Project warmth and confidence.2. State your first name and your last name.3. When the other person has given their name, repeat it in acknowledgment.

Interpersonal Skills Include• Effectively translating and conveying information.• Being able to accurately interpret other peoples emotions.• Being sensitive to other peoples feelings.• Calmly arriving at resolutions to conflict.• Avoiding gossip.• Being polite

Interpersonal skills

Uncivil Behavior- Difficult People• Failing to acknowledge another person‟s presence• Using abusive language• Gossiping• Discounting employee contribution• Bullying and intimidating co-workers• Sabotaging individual and company efforts• Discriminating against a particular individual or group• Practicing insensitivity against co-workers‟ needs• Practicing poor etiquette in dealing with correspondence

What is effective Communications• Using appropriate understandable language• Transmitting a clear message to be received the way intended.• Developing relationships with others.• Avoiding the communication Barriers• Communication that installs trust, openness, honesty& cooperation.• Providing feedback.

Non-Verbal Communications Silence,Appearance Body Time, and Language Space Facial Expressions Sound Gesture Body LanguageSmell Posture Movement

Nonverbal Communication• Body Movement – Unconscious motions that provide meaning – Shows extent of interest• Intonations and Voice Emphasis – The way something is said can change meaning – Silence• Facial Expressions – Show emotion or not• Personal Space – Depends on cultural norms – Can express interest or status

Positive Feedback1. Kiss- Slap - Kiss2. Show interest and your willingness to help3. Explain the problem and show solutions4. Give encouraging suggestions5. Criticize an issue and not a person.6. Do not bring out past failures or problems7. Avoid the Blame game8. Be aware of negative criticism9. Consider the source

Active ListeningActive listening is the basis ofeffective communicationsNoise can get in the way of activelistening by the receiver.Types of NoiseSteps of Active ListeningThe monk and the tea pot

Influencing People Seeing the other side Build a Bridge Actively Listen Same Language Highlight Similarities

What is Conflict? • Opposition leads to Conflict or when a solution cannot be found for a disagreement. • Is a disagreement where the parties involved perceive a threat to their needs, well- being, interests or concerns. • Threat perceived can be physical, emotional, power, statu s, intellectual, etc.

Interpersonal Conflict Conflict is the• Needs- ignoring our or others‟ needs energy (positive• Values-holding incompatible, unclear values and/ or• Unresolved Disagreements negative) that• Feelings and Emotions- Ignoring own or builds up when others feelings and emotions individuals or• Underlying Stress and Tension- demands groups of exceeds our capacity to deal/ deliver people pursue• Ego problem- Not admitting own incompatible mistakes, Personality Clashes goals to meet• Power- trying to make others change their their needs and actions or to gain an unfair advantage interests

Conflict Styles Based on Thomas& KilmannThere is no one best way to deal with conflict. Itdepends on the current situation. Here are themajor ways that people use to deal with conflict: Withdrawing AttackingSmoothing Compromising Confronting

Conflict ResolutionIs a range of processes aimed at alleviatingor eliminating sources of conflict.Steps:1. "Know Thyself" and Take Care of Self2. Clarify Personal Needs Threatened by the Dispute3. Identify a Safe Place for Negotiation4. Take a Listening Stance into the Interaction5. Assert Your Needs Clearly and Specifically6. Approach Problem-Solving with Flexibility7. Build an Agreement that Works

Ground Rules Statements reflecting peoples best intentions regarding how they wish to treat one another in civil dialogue. 1) One person speaks at a time. 2) Commitment to listen, understand first 3) It is confidential, unless otherwise stated 4) Talk directly with the person and not involve others in "gossip" or "alliance building.“ 5) Do the our hardest/ best possible 6) Offer safe environment - harassment free 7) Attack the issues, not the people

Tips for conflict resolution 1. Put yourself in the other persons shoes. 2. Don‟t be judgmental. Do not embarrass the other person. 3. Never accuse anyone 4. Watch your body language as posture, tone of voice, and facial expressions 5. Do not take it personally in conflicts people night say things they don‟t mean 6. Let the other person know that you want to find a win-win resolution 7. Apologize for anything you may have said or done to offend them.

Be TactfulT = Think before you speakA = Apologize quickly when you blunderC = Converse, don‟t competeT = Time your commentsF = Focus on behavior – not personalityU = Uncover hidden feelingsL = Listen to feedback

Resolving ConflictsDialogue has six rules:1. Be Open& Suspend Judgment2. Keep Dialogue & Decision making separate3. Speak for yourself and not as a representative & Treat all participants as peers4. Listen for understanding with empathy, acknowledge that you heard, and that you care5. Look for common ground& Identify on what you agree6. Search for and disclose hidden assumptions especially in yourself

Emotional Intelligence1. Think intelligently about our emotions to think more intelligently, and regulate others‟ emotions by influencing and engaging and motivating groups2. People resonate to people who connect to them emotionally. Learned ability3. Can reduce stress by decreasing conflict, improving relationships, understanding, increasing stability, continuity and harmony. Start within by self awareness and continues outwardly in how they impact and

IQ (Genetic) VS. EI (Learned)People with EQ, even with averageIQ have been found to be moresuccessful because they are social,empathetic and cheerful‟.IQ is mostly determined by geneticsand so it can not be changeddrastically.But EQ is mostly learned andpeople can be trained.

Having People’s Skills is 1. Effective Communication 2. Understanding People 3. Expressing Yourself clearly 4. Asserting your needs 5. Exchanging Feedback 6. Influencing Others 7. Resolving Conflicts 8. Being a Team player

Emotional IntelligenceThe elements of “EI” include:1. Self-Awareness: Knowing your emotions and their effects.2. Self-Management: Knowing how to manage your emotions, how to keep disruptive impulses in check. Being flexible and comfortable with new ideas.3. Social Awareness: Ability to listen, to be persuasive, to nurture relationships.4. Relationship Management: Ability to influence others, handle conflict, develop, lead and work with

Five stages:How can you develop 1. Identify your ideal self 2. Identify your real self EI skills? 3. Specify any gaps, establish your goals and establish a list of activities to help reach them, 4. Experimentation, practice and reflection 5. Support through trusting relationships

Assertiveness vs. Aggressiveness Assertiveness Your Needs Their NeedsAggressiveness Submission

Assertiveness Assertiveness is a measure of the degree to which you see yourself as tending to ASK or as tending to TELL as you interact with others Equally Ask Assertive Tell Assertive Important Tend to be opinionatedTend to becautious, reserved about & forceful, makessharing statements, declarationopinions, questioning, lo and direct actions ofw key and quiet. others

Assertiveness MEASK Assertive TELL Assertive• Slower Pace • Faster Pace• Fewer Statements • More Statements• Quieter Volume • Louder Volume• Non Directive • Directive• Relaxed use of hands • Points hands for emphasis• Leans Backwards • Leans Forward• Indirect Eye Contact • Direct Eye Contact

Responsiveness (Emotional)Is a measure of the degree to which you seeyourself as tending to control your feelings i.e. keepthem inside or display them to others B Control: Do not show any e feelings publicly h a v i o Emote: Readily share r feelings, express anger, joy& s Hurt feelings

Styles More Controlling More Emoting• Monotone • Inflection• Task Subjects • People Subjects• Tasks/ Data • Opinions/ Stories• Less Use of hands • More use of hands• Rigid Posture • Casual Posture• Controlled facial • Animated facial expression expression

Control Monotone, Task Subjects, Tasks/ Data, Less Use ofTheory hands, Rigid Posture, Controlled facial expression ASK TELL Assertive Assertive Slower Pace, Fewer Faster Pace, More Statements, Quieter Statements, Louder Volume, Non Directive, Volume, Directive, Relaxed use Of Hands, Use Of Hands, Leans Leans Backwards, Forward, Direct Eye Indirect Eye Contact Contact Emote Inflection, People Subjects, Opinions/ Stories, More Use of hands, Casual Posture, Animated facial expression

FrameworkConscientious/ Analytical Dominant/ Driving ASK Assertiveness+ Emotion TELL Assertive+ Emotion Control Control Influential/ Amiable Steadiness/ Expressive ASK Assertive + Emotive TELL Assertive+ Emotive

Conscientious/ Dominant/ Analytical DrivingFramework Thorough, Serious, Sy Efficient, Decisive, Candid stematic, Prudent , Independent Influential/ Steadiness/ Amiable Expressive Cooperative, Supportive, Di Enthusiastic, Spontaneous, plomatic, Patient Outgoing, Persuasive, Fun Loving

More Facts Conscientious/ Analytical Dominant/ DrivingNeeds to be right, Orientation: Needs: Results, Orientation:Thinking, Back-up: Withdraw Action, Back-up: Take Charge Influential/ Amiable Steadiness/ Expressive Needs Personal Needs Approval, security, Orientation: Orientation: Spontaneity, Relationships, Back-up: Goes Back-up: Confront along

They Need To:Conscientious/ Analytical Dominant/ Driving To Declare To ListenInfluential/ Amiable Steadiness/ Expressive To Initiate To Check

ALL STYLES UsesConscientious/ Analytical Data Dominant/ Driving 1. Historical 1- Cost Data Benefit 2. Doing is Analysis Experience 2- Pushing to conclusion Avoids Takes Risks Risks 1- Relation- 1- Vivid based 2- Dramatic 2- Trust& 3- Testimonies Reassurance Influential/ Amiable Uses Steadiness/ Expressive Opinions

To Develop Better EIUnderstand both your strengths and your weaknessesAttend to detail and complete projectsStay open-minded to change and new ideasIntrinsic motivation and commitmentAlways be optimistic, even in troublePut yourself in others‟ shoesLet customers‟ needs determine how you serve themEnjoy helping co-workers develop their skillsKnow office politics and rulesFind „win-win‟ solutionsWork well on teamsPersuade others

11 Tips To Improve Your Interpersonal Skills1. Set the ground for respectful communication2. Work on your attitude.3. Have reasonable expectations.4. Chose the right time and place5. Watch your body Language, have an open demeanor6. Actively listen and respond periodically.7. Avoid “fire starters” such as: hot words, over- dramatization, blaming, guilt induction, and past events8. Choose to behave assertively. Avoid being aggressive9. Stay focused on the issue10. Reflect upon the interaction and get ready to keep developing the relationship.11. Be ready to change and keep exploring continuously.

DiSC- Pre-Dominant Character

Best way to deal with “D” •D Direct/ Demanding • Results-oriented • Determined  Come prepared • Outspoken  Be specific and stick • Domineering to business • Heavy Authority/ Responsibility  Present facts logically and efficiently • Adventuresome • Decisive/ Confident  Stress “what,” not • Challenging “how” • Competitive  Ask questions to get • Quick opinions • Risk-taker

Best way to deal with “I” •I Enthusiastic • Positive/ Talkative • Generous • Motivational  Engage in stimulating, • Persuasive fast-moving interaction • Friendly  Talk about people and • Self-confident their goals • Trusting/ Poised  Ask for opinions • Sociable/Popular  Put details in writing • Impulsive • Emotional  Leave time for socializing • Self-promoting

Best way to deal with “S” • Dependable/HelpfulS • • • Easygoing Restrained  Present ideas non- threateningly Considerate/ Sympathetic  Stress “what” and “how” • Procedure-oriented • Predictable  Patiently draw out personal goals and • Possessive assist in the • Patient/ Calm/ Steady achievement of those goals • Deliberate • Loyal  Clearly define roles& goals • Team Player/Loyal  Persuade with • Asks “How?” assurances of support

Best way to deal with “C”C • • • Accurate/Precise Controlling Worrisome  Prepare details in advance • Thorough/Prepared  Support ideas with accurate data; list pros • Systematic and cons • Risk-reducing  Be patient; allow for • Conventional changes& criticisms • Cautious/Logical  Jointly schedule • Organized/Neat implementation plans • Perfectionist/ Critical  Persuade with guarantees and • Detail-oriented contingency plans • Asks “Why?”

Workbook• This workbook is the intellectual property of, and is proprietary to Sahar Consulting, LLC and it is not to be disclosed, in whole or in part, without the express written authorization of Sahar Consulting, LLC. It shall not be duplicated or used, in whole or in part, for any purpose other than to be educational material for the “Interpersonal Relationships- Human Synergy at Work” workshop training for the City Of Burbank. The workbook can‟t be used in part of whole in the same program/ similar or different programs if not facilitated by Sahar Consulting, LLC.• The pictures are being used ONLY for educational purposes and are copy righted• Credit to Richard Chang& Associates

Sahar Andrade, MB.BCh Sahar Consulting, LLC www.saharconsulting.com

Maximizing Interpersonal Skills

by Sahar Consulting, LLC on Jun 22, 2012

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