BackgroundThis PowerPoint presentation contains excerpts from an online parenting seminar—available through Internet links provided on Slide 30.The full seminar describes how: • From the earliest years, parents can lay a foundation for school success. • Through the school years, parents can most effectively guide and support their children.As we began work on the seminar, we were amazed to find a striking array of excellent videos andarticles on these subjects—readily available to anyone on the Internet. It made no sense toreinvent them, and so we decided to incorporate them into our program.For more than a year, we have been been on a mission to: • Identify and catalogue Internet materials that are most effective in teaching important parenting principles related to education. • Organize and sequence them in a meaningful way. • Provide transitions and develop exercises and questions to engage parents and encourage them to apply these principles in their homes.We gratefully acknowledge the contribution that organizations sponsoring the referencedwebsites and materials have made to parents and families everywhere.
Background (continued)We offer this overview of key seminar concepts and materials for two reasons: • First, we hope it will help you to be more focused and effective in raising your children. • Second, we hope it will motivate you to dig into the full seminar.Take a quick look at the overview now. We welcome comments and suggestions—for this shortsampler and the full seminar as well. S. Kent Madsen, Ph.D., Romance Languages, Duke University ( firstname.lastname@example.org ) Ella R. Madsen, M.S., Child Development, University of California, DavisNote on Streaming Videos: In this presentation (and in the full seminar) we make extensive use of YouTubeand other Internet videos. For best results, you will need access to a good Internet connection. If you have nohome connection or if the one you have is not fast enough to play the videos smoothly, try using computers ata local public library, business, church, or friend’s home. To do this without disturbing others, you may have toacquire a set of headphones.Note on Responsibility for Content: We have chosen to offer our personal (Mormon) religious perspective ona few of the topics addressed because we think it is revealing and important. But please recognize that: (1) theseminar is for everyone, (2) we are solely responsible for its content, and (3) we do not represent any particularorganization—religious or otherwise.
Laying a Foundation for Learning— Six Things Parents Can DoFrom the earliest years: 1. Be warm, positive, authoritative, and consistent—expect a lot of your children (and of yourself). 2. Teach work, responsibility, and persistence. 3. Establish routines and structure in the home. 4. Cultivate social skills and emotional maturity. 5. Build academic skills. 6. Embrace moral values and spiritual gifts.Then, as children grow: Guide and support them actively in specific school settings—from elementary school to college.
1. Be Warm, Positive, Authoritative, and Consistent—Expect a Lot of Your Children“Nobody rises to low expectations.” —Calvin Lloyd What kind of parent are you? What is your parenting style? • Uninvolved? • Indulgent? • Authoritarian? • Warm and authoritative? These may seem like abstract terms, but the patterns of behavior they represent have a real impact on the development (or destruction) of attitudes and skills crucial to school success: • Confidence • Openness • Motivation • Self-control
Recognize the Power of a Warm, Authoritative Father or Mother1. View video on parenting styles (launch slide show—from the Slide Show menu—and then click on this link): http://youtu.be/AGHyB9MsMho2. Read articles on authoritative parenting: Parenting Styles http://psychology.about.com/od/developmentalpsychology/a/parenting- style.htm Authoritative Parenting = Balance http://www.extension.umn.edu/specializations/familydevelopment/authpar .html3. Describe the benefits associated with a warm, authoritative parenting style_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________4. Reflect on ways of demonstrating warmth and interest and maintaining credibility: • Give time, attention, and respect • Communicate, teach, and listen • Set a good example; be steady and consistent
Build ConfidenceYour children’s confidence can be built up by the tone ofeveryday conversations in the home. • If you focus on the positive—giving children honest praise for the good things they do and for their hard work—they will be more inclined to work, achieve, and embrace a positive view of themselves and their future. • On the other hand, if you flood their minds with negative comments and criticism, they are likely to become hesitant, listless, fearful, shallow, and self- indulgent—unwilling to embrace life’s challenges and take the risks crucial to learning, growth, and progress. Your goal as a parent should be to notice and praise your children’s real accomplishments—to catch them doing good things every day.
Give Meaningful Praise You might think all praise is of equal power in building confidence and a sense of competence in your children? The people who study these things say no.View the video and article below to find out what the experts have discovered. Takenotes on what you hear and read. Let a day pass, and then review and reflect onyour notes (and perhaps view the videos again). This is veryimportant material. How to Praise Children http://youtu.be/Wqo4c-FlFGE I Think I Can! I Think I Can! http://www.nasponline.org/publications/cq/pdf/ V39N3_FT_Self-Efficacy.pdf
Prize Effort, Growth, and Learning “Every mountain top is within reach if you just keep climbing.” —Barry FinlayLinks to view and ponder What Is a “Growth Mindset” http://mindsetonline.com/whatisit/about/index.html Fostering Growth Mindsets http://youtu.be/o-SaTBg5eIc
Exercise Parental Authority WiselyView video number 2 on “Authority” in this nine-video series onresponsive discipline: http://www.youtube.com/user/casmith46Record ideas on how you might apply principles of authoritativeparenting and responsive discipline in your home._________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Family Rules Definition WorksheetUse this worksheet to consider potential family rules. If you decide a rule is needed in a topicarea, phrase it in the positive, rather than the negative. For example, “Eat only in the kitchen”means the same thing as “No eating in any room with a rug,” but it tends to be more “friendly.”Household responsibility and participation Homework_________________________________________________ _________________________________________________Mealtimes Other school issues_________________________________________________ _________________________________________________Snacking Indoor physical activity_________________________________________________ _________________________________________________Other food concerns Extracurricular activities_________________________________________________ _________________________________________________Privacy Sibling behavior_________________________________________________ _________________________________________________Language Forbidden activities_________________________________________________ _________________________________________________TV and video games Telephone_________________________________________________ _________________________________________________
Family Rules Definition Worksheet (continued)Family Rules Definition Worksheet (contd) Computer and Internet use Permissions _______________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Reading Modesty _______________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Pets and pet care Car _______________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Allowance Smoking, alcohol, and other drugs _______________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Earnings Curfew _______________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Savings Dating _______________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Family functions Sexual activity _______________________________________________ _________________________________________________ Guests _______________________________________________________________________
2. Teach Work, Responsibility, and Persistence“The most important thing parents can teach their childrenis how to get along without them.” —Frank ClarkTeaching responsibility We all want our children to become hard-working, responsible adults: • To be dutiful and independent • To be organized • To do hard things (such as go to college) • To stick with important jobs until they are completed. But in subtle and not so subtle ways, we sometimes deprive them of the experience of doing these very things during the growing-up years. How could that happen? What would motivate it? What would be the likely outcome?
Teach via Chores, Choices, and ConsequencesAs you peruse the material below, take notes and think about how you might giveyour children more experience and encouragement in: • Working hard • Making good choices • Accepting responsibility • Solving problems and overcoming obstacles • Persevering with difficult tasks until they are completedArticles and Videos Age-Appropriate Chores http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/chores-for-children Giving Children Choices http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/character/giving_children_choices.htm How to Motivate Kids to Do Chores http://youtu.be/SU_yWD3poU0 Teaching Middle-Schoolers Responsibility and Independence http://youtu.be/jlmn4zhzcwU
Impart the “Gift of Grit”— Achievement Motivation,Self-Discipline, Persistence “I will is more important than IQ.” —Marva CollinsGritOne quality associated with educational success is "grit,"which has been described as "perseverance and a passionfor long-term goals." Gritty people possess persistence of motive and effort.They are more focused on winning the marathon than the sprint.Individuals with grit are able to maintain their determination and motivation over longperiods of time despite experiences with failure and adversity. Their passion andcommitment to a long-term objective is what provides the stamina required to stay thecourse. But how does a child develop grit? Launch a slide show, and click on the linksbelow for some good ideas: Raising Gritty Kids http://happyfamiliesblog.blogspot.com/2011/06/raising-gritty-kids.html Achievement Motivation http://youtu.be/6Jsui7ppoFw Deferred Gratification Deferred Gratification (Article and Links)
3. Establish Routines and Structure in the Home “A child wants some kind of undisrupted routine or rhythm. He seems to want a predictable, orderly world.” —Abraham MaslowWhat is the value of establishing and maintaining family routines? Routines give children a sense of order, organization, security, control, and predictability. Examples include morning routines, after-school routines, meal times, bed times, and limits on TV or other media. Although children may chafe against schedules and structure from time to time, they reap significant benefits. Children from families with consistent standards and routines do better in school and in other arenas. Routines teach organization and seem to prepare children for the structure of classroom, work, and social environments.
One Routine That Really Matters: Regular Family Dinners“. . . family meals . . . are the single most important activity. . . to enhance the life of children.” --Dr. William DohertyRonald Reagan once said: “All great change . . . begins at the dinner table.” Family researchers agree. Laurie David, producer and author of “The Family Dinner: Great Ways to Connect with Your Kids,” (2010) claims that: “Basically, everything a parent worries about can be improved by the simple act of sitting down and sharing a meal.” Miriam Weinstein, author of “The Surprising Power of Family Meals,” (2005) writes: “Better grades, healthier eating habits, closer relationships to parents and siblings, ability to resist negative peer pressure, resilience in the face of lifes problems — all these are outcomes of simply sharing dinner on a regular basis . . . . Experts everywhere agree: sharing meals helps cement family relationships [and build skills of many different kinds]
Why Are Family Dinners So Important?View the following videos and read the article. Make notes on what you learn. The Value of Family Dinner (Part 1) http://youtu.be/9ETtdZZS6iw The Value of Family Dinner (Part 2) http://youtu.be/aHOEddf9fv0 The Importance of Eating Together thefamilydinnerproject.org/resources/faq/Notes on the importance of family dinners____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Establishing Other Family RoutinesAre there other routines that would be good for your children? • Set meal times? • Bed times? • Study times? • Chore times? • Play times? • Reading times? • Family meeting and activity times?Take a look at this excellent article for ideas. http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/character.htm
Schedule Regular Family Activities, Field Trips, and OutingsBuild curiosity, confidence, unity, and a culture oflearning by exploring the world as a family. Here are some ideas: • Take walks, talk about what you see, welcome questions, and find answers • Read together, and pursue hobbies and personal interests • Visit family and friends, and invite them tell you their stories and describe life lessons • Learn about your ancestors, and put a photo album together • Show your children how things work • Arrange for visits to fire stations, factories, mills, workshops, and interesting local businesses • Attend concerts, shows, plays, and festivals • Visit museums, parks, historic sites, and scenic wonders • Take trips; go on picnics • Find Internet resources that can teach, inspire, and stimulate curiosity
4. Cultivate Social Skills and Emotional MaturitySchool is a social experience. And it requires self control.Children who are quick to make friends and who feel comfortableworking in groups will do better (and be happier) there. Children withemotional intelligence (the ability to recognize, understand, and controltheir own emotions and relate to the emotions of others) will be more successful sociallyand academically.View the following videos and articles, and make notes on what you learn. Helping Kids Build Strong Social Connections http://youtu.be/MzatPjH7bkg Emotional Literacy http://youtu.be/I9xsr4Epd74 Social Skills http://extension.oregonstate.edu/catalog/pdf/ec/ec1317-e.pdf Identifying/Expressing Emotions http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/familytools/teaching_emotions.pdf Dealing with Strong Emotions http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/insight/insight.pdfSummarize the “why’s and how’s” of raising a child’s social/emotional IQ.
5. Build Academic Skills— Reading, Writing, Working with NumbersThe most obvious thing parents can do at home to helpchildren succeed in school is to promote basic academic skills:• Speaking and listening (comprehending spoken language)• Recognizing letters, numbers, and printed words• Reading stories and articles and understanding them.• Counting and working with numbers and math concepts. Children learn spoken language from their parents. And the process begins at birth. Every conversation, every word spoken, every nursery rhyme recited, and every story told adds to vocabulary and understanding that can translate into success at school.Parents who own books, treasure them, give them as gifts, go to the library withtheir children, and read regularly to and with them pass on a priceless legacy.Written language can be taught and reviewed on a daily basis by pointing out wordsand phrases on billboards, signs, cereal boxes, storefronts, etc., as well as inmagazines, newspapers, and books. Counting and math concepts can be taught and reinforced in the context of everyday activities (cooking, sewing, shopping, building, measuring, drawing, doing crafts, etc.).
Establish Establish a Family Reading/Writing Time“Children become readers on the laps of their parents.” —Emilie BuchwaldView Videos The Importance of Reading Aloud http://youtu.be/2HThtiOkD2k How to Read Out Loud with Your Preschooler http://youtu.be/sZSlUVrCJRo How to Read Out Loud with Your Preteen http://youtu.be/hBhEsdy6vgY The Importance of Reading to Children http://www.5min.com/Video/Importance-of-Reading--to-Children- 264565128
Use Everyday Activities to Foster Word, Number, and Learning Skills “Smart is just time on task; it’s repetition and support.” —Nicole BlakeView Videos Teaching Moments (Video Series) http://www.scholastic.com/parents/videos
6. Embrace Moral Values and Spiritual GiftsSeek the spirit as a partner in parenting. Learn whatscriptures and church leaders have said about theimportance of family, fatherhood, and motherhood.Recognize the clear connection between religiousprinciples and teachings and school success: • Faith in God builds confidence, hope, and a sense of purpose and potential. • The scriptures teach that learning and growth are central to God’s plans and hopes for man. • Allegiance to moral principles brings power and discipline—to work, serve, study, improve oneself, control impulses, and delay gratification. • Church programs provide many school-like experiences and a strong family support system.Work together as parents: • Follow counsel regarding family prayer, family home evenings, church attendance, moral behavior, love, kindness, and service. • Decide exactly what you are trying to achieve with your children; use this seminar as a catalyst for setting goals and making plans. (The worksheet on the next slide can help.)Above all, set a good example; you are your children’s most important teacher.
What Do You Hope to Accomplish with Your Children (and How)?Your Goals (What?) Your Plans/Strategies (How?) Your Time Frame (When?)For example: To support the education goal, we’ll: For the listed education plans: Help my children to become: --Read together often --Twice a week --Educated/skilled --Communicate/talk regularly --Every day during dinner --Confident/positive --Go to the library --Weekly in summer --Hard-working/steady --Provide a quiet place to study --Today --Honest/moral --Set a time for homework --From 6 to 8 pm weekdays --Socially comfortable/ --Help kids organize materials --This week people-oriented—able --Communicate with teachers --Monthly to make friends, work --Monitor school progress --Weekly well with others, and --Drill math facts for fun --While doing chores maintain positive --Focus on learning new words --On trips/at dinner relationships --Pursue hobbies and interests --On Saturday afternoons --Emotionally mature— --Explore/travel/attend cultural --At least once a month able to manage moods/ and community events practice self control Use charts like this to make plans for each parenting goal—and review progress weekly or monthly.
Summary—Six Things Wise Parents Can Do to Lay a Solid Foundation1. Be Warm, Positive, Authoritative, and Consistent • Expect a lot of your children (and yourself). • Give time, attention, and respect; manage the tone of everyday conversations. • Teach, communicate, listen, and set a good example. • Set limits and make expectations clear.2. Teach Work, Responsibility, and Persistence • Have children share in household chores. • Give children choices and ample experience with natural and logical consequences. • Model self control, a strong work ethic, deferred gratification, and a growth mindset.3. Establish Routines and Structure in the Home • Have dinner together • Schedule regular reading, writing, homework, conversation, work, meal, and bed times • Plan regular family field trips and fun activities4. Cultivate Social Skills and Emotional Maturity5. Build Academic Skills6. Embrace Moral Values and Spiritual Gifts
The Full Seminar Can Help You Guide Children through the School YearsElementary School, Middle School, High School, and College • What to expect? • Making the transitions • Keys to success • Benchmarks for achievement at each grade levelPartnering with Teachers and Becoming Involved with Schools • Parent-teacher conferences • Communicating with schools • Participating and volunteeringHomework and Study Skills • Providing a quiet, comfortable place to study • Coaching children and dealing with common homework problems • Understanding how we learn—brain development and learningPreparing for College in Middle School and High School • Taking the right classes • Exploring interests, careers, and the world of work • Choosing a college or post-high-school technical or job training program • College application procedures and financial aid strategies
There Are Two Ways to Access the Full Seminar1. By viewing PowerPoint files that contain all essential seminar content: • Part 1. From the Earliest Years, Parents Lay a Foundation for Learning— available at: http://www.slideshare.net/SKMadsen/parent-seminar-student-guide-part- 1laying-a-foundation-for-learning-16726108 . • Part 2. Through the School Years, Parents Guide and Support—available at: http://www.slideshare.net/SKMadsen/parent-seminar-student-guide-part- 2the-school-yearsrev-1-167256772. By going to our website (coming soon) and working through the same material in a different format: www.parentingforschoolsuccess.orgEither way, best wishes to you as you embark on this family journey to education andschool success. We would welcome feedback on your experience. Send commentsand suggestions to email@example.com.
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