Assertiveness -
Effectively
Communicating with
Difficult Peers
Tutor Training Developed by
Natasha Ford, Chelsea Shoben & ...
Passive and Aggressive Communication
Preliminary Reflection
Before you read through this
PowerPoint, answer the first 6
qu...
What is it?
 How would you define “Passive”?
 Passive communication is characterized by not
expressing honest feelings, ...
Passive Communication
Common Characteristics
 Passive Communication Characteristics
 Not expressing honest feelings
 Al...
Passive Tutoring
Reflection & Drawbacks of this Communication Style
 How would you describe a passive tutor?
 Passive tu...
What is it?
 How would you define “Aggressive”?
 Aggressive communication is characterized by
standing up for your perso...
Aggressive Communication
Characteristics
 Communication Characteristics
 Standing up for yourself in a way that violates...
Aggressive Tutoring
Reflection & Drawbacks
 What are some scenarios when a tutor
may resort to aggressive behavior?
 Whe...
The Question is…
In a tutoring environment, is it
preferential to be passive or
aggressive?
What about passive aggressive?
Others Needs Your Needs
Assertive Communication
Find a Happy Medium
Assertive Communication
What does it look like?
 Assertive Communication Characteristics:
 Steady even pace
 Sincere an...
Assertive Communication
Keys to Assertiveness
To many of us, assertiveness doesn’t come naturally.
 State the behavior ob...
Assertive Communication
Worksheet Activity
Using the Keys to Assertiveness on the previous
slide, complete the activity on...
Assertive Communication
Keys to Assertiveness
Walking Small “Speedy” Episode
Assertive Communication
Keys to Assertiveness - Handout
Note a few situations from the video that you
recognize one of the...
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  • hi is it possible to view the handout notes and worksheets?
    my email is cherylpatel@hotmail.com
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  • Thefrisky.com
  • Thefrisky.com
  • Important because: Others are less likely to take advantage of youYou appear to be a fair personYou won’t be angry with yourself for not speaking up Others understand you more clearly
  • Assumption: one observation = generalization
  • Assertiveness and effectively communicating with peers independent version

    1. 1. Assertiveness - Effectively Communicating with Difficult Peers Tutor Training Developed by Natasha Ford, Chelsea Shoben & Catherine Siew University of Central Florida’s Student Academic Resource Center 2013
    2. 2. Passive and Aggressive Communication Preliminary Reflection Before you read through this PowerPoint, answer the first 6 questions on your PowerPoint Worksheet.
    3. 3. What is it?  How would you define “Passive”?  Passive communication is characterized by not expressing honest feelings, thoughts or beliefs and allowing others to violate your rights.  What are some characteristics that you would identify with passive communication?  Review the characteristics on the next slide and add them to the Venn diagram on your worksheet.  Would you identify yourself as a passive communicator? What would that look like? Passive Communication
    4. 4. Passive Communication Common Characteristics  Passive Communication Characteristics  Not expressing honest feelings  Allowing others to violate your rights  Non-Verbal Behaviors  Self put-down  Hesitation  Averting gaze when talking  Covering arms  Verbal Characteristics  Hesitant, filled with pauses  Apologize unnecessarily in a soft voice  Frequent justification e.g. “I would not normally say anything but…”
    5. 5. Passive Tutoring Reflection & Drawbacks of this Communication Style  How would you describe a passive tutor?  Passive tutoring may not look like a shy person standing in front of others. Passive tutoring refers more to the chosen style of communication when approaching situations that come up while tutoring. The way you deal with a disruption or difficult student may be passive (“letting it go”). Look on Page 2 of your worksheet. Read the scenario and answer questions 7 and 8.
    6. 6. What is it?  How would you define “Aggressive”?  Aggressive communication is characterized by standing up for your personal rights and expressing your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs in a way that is usually inappropriate and which violates the other person.  What are some characteristics that you would identify with an aggressive communication style?  Review the characteristics on the next slide and add them to the Venn diagram on your worksheet.  Would you identify yourself as an aggressive communicator? What would that look like? Aggressive Communication
    7. 7. Aggressive Communication Characteristics  Communication Characteristics  Standing up for yourself in a way that violates others.  Non-Verbal Behaviors  Crossing arms  Gesturing or staring at specific people  Scowling when angry  Striding around impatiently  Verbal Characteristics  Sarcastic, condescending tone  Fast, abrupt pace  Put downs of others e.g. “Don’t be stupid”  Threatening questions e.g. “Haven’t you finished yet?”
    8. 8. Aggressive Tutoring Reflection & Drawbacks  What are some scenarios when a tutor may resort to aggressive behavior?  When a tutor speaks aggressively towards a student in the group, how do you think this makes the rest of the group of tutees feel? Read the second scenario on Page 2 of the worksheet. Answer Question 9.
    9. 9. The Question is… In a tutoring environment, is it preferential to be passive or aggressive? What about passive aggressive?
    10. 10. Others Needs Your Needs Assertive Communication Find a Happy Medium
    11. 11. Assertive Communication What does it look like?  Assertive Communication Characteristics:  Steady even pace  Sincere and clear attitude  Constructive criticism without blame  A willingness to explore other solutions We should learn to be assertive in our communication so that we can be open and honest without violating the rights of others.  Why else is assertiveness important?
    12. 12. Assertive Communication Keys to Assertiveness To many of us, assertiveness doesn’t come naturally.  State the behavior observed  Do not judge or assume!  How does it affect you and how does it make you feel?  Focus on the behavior rather than the person  Ask for what you want  Put it all together in an assertive statement  When you are late, then I have to wait, and I feel frustrated. Can I count on you to be on time tomorrow?
    13. 13. Assertive Communication Worksheet Activity Using the Keys to Assertiveness on the previous slide, complete the activity on Page 3 by selecting two different difficult peer types. Try using this activity to brainstorm for a real-life scenario since one of these will likely come up while you are tutoring. If you are prepared with an effective assertive statement like the one you have written down, hopefully the situation will not catch you off-guard.
    14. 14. Assertive Communication Keys to Assertiveness Walking Small “Speedy” Episode
    15. 15. Assertive Communication Keys to Assertiveness - Handout Note a few situations from the video that you recognize one of the characters not being assertive. On the handout provided, rewrite the scenes so the character communicates assertively. (Try making an assertive statement as we learned on Slide 12!)
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