Worship wars. One or more factions in the church want the music just the way they like it. Any deviation is met with anger and demands for change. The order of service must remain constant. Certain instrumentation is required while others are prohibited. Prolonged minutia meetings. The church spends an inordinate amount of time in different meetings. Most of the meetings deal with the most inconsequential items, while the Great Commission and Great Commandment are rarely the topics of discussion. Facility focus. The church facilities develop iconic status. One of the highest priorities in the church is the protection and preservation of rooms, furniture, and other visible parts of the church’s buildings and grounds. Program driven. Every church has programs even if they don’t admit it. When we start doing a ministry a certain way, it takes on programmatic status. The problem is not with programs. The problem develops when the program becomes an end instead of a means Anger and hostility. Members are consistently angry. They regularly express hostility toward the church staff and other members. Evangelistic apathy. Very few members share their faith on a regular basis. More are concerned about their own needs rather than the greatest eternal needs of the world and community in which they live. Rainer, Thom S. (2013-04-04). I Am a Church Member: Discovering the Attitude that Makes the Difference (p. 38). B&H Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
James 4:1-2What is causing the quarrels and fightsamong you? Don’t they come from the evildesires at war within you? 2You want whatyou don’t have, so you scheme and kill toget it. You are jealous of what others have,but you can’t get it, so you fight and wagewar to take it away from them.
Things we fight about…1. Worship wars.2. Prolonged minutia meetings.3. Facility focus.4. Inwardly focused budget.5. Greater concern about change than thegospel.6. Inordinate demands for pastoral care.7. Program driven.8. Anger and hostility.9. Evangelistic apathy.Thom Rainer: I Am a Church Member (p. 38).
Five reactions to conflict1.Silence.2.Direct agression.3.Indirect agression.4.Escape.5.Assertive.
The objective is not to stopfighting, but to fight fair whenwe do fight.
Three tips for conflict resolution:1.Ask, dont interpret, assumeor take for granted.2. Pray before. (We end fightslike we start them.)3. Concentrate. Stick to the realproblem and stick to oneproblem at a time.
Proverbs 18:19 (NLT)An offended friend isharder to win back than afortified city. Argumentsseparate friends like a gatelocked with bars.
John 8:36So if the Son setsyou free, you aretruly free.