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TDC Client Manual
TDC Client Manual
TDC Client Manual
TDC Client Manual
TDC Client Manual
TDC Client Manual
TDC Client Manual
TDC Client Manual
TDC Client Manual
TDC Client Manual
TDC Client Manual
TDC Client Manual
TDC Client Manual
TDC Client Manual
TDC Client Manual
TDC Client Manual
TDC Client Manual
TDC Client Manual
TDC Client Manual
TDC Client Manual
TDC Client Manual
TDC Client Manual
TDC Client Manual
TDC Client Manual
TDC Client Manual
TDC Client Manual
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TDC Client Manual

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This manual creates a distinction between the experience and expression of anger and offers management strategies for both phenomena.

This manual creates a distinction between the experience and expression of anger and offers management strategies for both phenomena.

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  • 1. Bergen & AssociatesCounselling and ConsultingPresents:Anger Management Group TherapyTransformingDestructive IntoConstructive ! 1
  • 2. TDC Client Manual Transforming Destructive into Constructive e nger is likal g onto a t co“Holdin g a hograspin it throwing intent of u are the with the e else; yo n at someo s burned.” t one who geCopyright 2010 by Bergen and Associates Counselling. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Any use of materials, includingreproduction, modification, distribution or republication, without the prior written consent of Bergen and AssociatesCounselling is strictly prohibited. 2010! Bergen & Associates Counselling & Consulting Ltd. 1
  • 3. Day 1 - Anger Experience InterventionsDefine anger and how it functions in our experience Reactive Anger and Secondary AngerIdentify the Experience and Escalation of Anger Anger Thermometer, Somatic ExperienceCouple Conflict Negotiation Safety SkillsRadical Reality Acceptance Interventions Relaxation Exercises, Emotional Vulnerability, Distortions, Misbeliefs Day 2 - Anger Expression InterventionsIdentify Sources of Learned Anger Expression Family History QuestionnaireTake Ownership of Self Within our Complaints Rackets/Resentment TechnologyPros/Cons Analysis of Anger ExpressionAddress non-verbal expression of anger Anger Scripts and Kinetic InfluenceAwareness of Personal Communication Style Aggressive/Passive-aggressive/Passive/AssertiveAssertiveness Training Assertiveness Formula 2010! Bergen & Associates Counselling & Consulting Ltd. 2
  • 4. Table of ContentsDay 1 - The Experience of AngerTypes and Functions of Anger.............................................4-5Toxic Anger Quiz/Goals of Anger Management..................... .....6Identifying the Anger Experience......................................... 7-8Safety Skills in Couple Conflict.............................................9Reality Acceptance.........................................................10-11Land mines of Intense Anger..................................................12Letting Go of Anger: Distraction............................................13Transforming Negatives Into Positives.....................................14Day 2 - The Expression of AngerLearned Anger: Origins....................................................15-16Rackets: Releasing Resentments.............................................17Anger Expression: Short-term Goals.....................................18Anger Expression: Long-term Consequences.............................19Anger Scripts: Changing Anger Expression..............................20Communication Styles: Match Exercise....................................21Obstacles to Assertiveness and Assertiveness Formula.............22Assertiveness Scorecards....................................................23References........................................................................24 2010! Bergen & Associates Counselling & Consulting Ltd. 3
  • 5. Types and Functions of AngerDefining AngerAnger is ________________ about one’s experience and the______________ to do something about it.Anger InfoBody Information - What changes occur in our bodies______________________________ ______________________________ __________________________________________________________ ______________________________ _____________________________What is our anger trying to tell us?Anger is like a ____________________ telling us about what is____________________ to us.Anger is also like an ______________telling us when someone is_____________ or when we are _______________. 2010! Bergen & Associates Counselling & Consulting Ltd. 4
  • 6. Types and Functions of AngerProtective FunctionAnger acts as a way to ____________________ othersaway or to _______________ ourselves when we are hurt.Types of AngerPrimary Anger is a ____________________ emotion toother people or situations.Secondary Anger is a reaction to another____________________ or ____________________ emotion. 2010! Bergen & Associates Counselling & Consulting 5
  • 7. The Toxic Anger QuizQuizHow often during the last week did you become angry?___ not at all ___ 3 to 5 times___ 1 or 2 times ___ 1 or 2 times a day ___ 3 times a day ___ 4 to 5 times a day ___ 6 to 10 times a day ___ more than 10 timesOn average, how intense is your anger?1:2:3:4 5 : 6 : 7 : 8 : 9 : 10How long does your anger typically last?___ less than 5 minutes ___ less than ½ hour___ 5-10 minutes ___ less than an hour ___ 1-2 hours ___ ½ day ___ 1 day ___ more than one dayExperiential GOALS IDENTIFY ONE’S DECREASE LETTING GO/CHANGING OWN EXPERIENCE VULNERABILITY NEGATIVE EMOTIONS TO OF ANGER TO ANGER POSITIVE ONES 2010! Bergen & Associates Counselling & Consulting Ltd. 6
  • 8. Identifying the Anger ExperienceInterventionIn the following exercise take some time to plug the appropriateexperience of anger along side the corresponding numerical values IRKED 10 9 ANNOYED 8 FRUSTRATED 7 6 WRATHFUL 5 AGGRAVATED 4 ANGRY MAD LIVID 3 2 1 SEETHING RAGETry to recall a recent anger episode and identify what how youranger escalated from 1-10 2010! Bergen & Associates Counselling & Consulting Ltd. 7
  • 9. Identifying the Anger Experience WE BLAME OTHERS FOR HOW WE FEEL WE TAKE OWNERSHIP OF OUR FEELINGS2010! Bergen & Associates Counselling & Consulting Ltd. 8
  • 10. Safety Skills for Arguments Rules of Engagement _______________________________________ _______________________________________ _______________________________________ Timeouts _______________________________________ _______________________________________ _______________________________________ ______________________________2010! Bergen & Associates Counselling & Consulting Ltd. 9
  • 11. Reality AcceptanceIntroduction “youHa ve you ever heard badhave been dealt ahand,” and, “shithappens,” etc. intense In order to escape k at wor anger we need to accepting realit y , no ace. matter what we fAutomatic Thoughts Automatic Thought Evidence PresentWhat from the past is similar to How is it similar to the past?the present?In order to accept reality as it is we need confront these automaticthoughts with alternative evidence Alternatives New BeliefWhat now is dissimilar to this Articulate reformed belief ofpast event? the present? 2010! Bergen & Associates Counselling & Consulting Ltd. 10
  • 12. Reality AcceptanceABC Model“Things” that happen to us do not get us mad. Rather, it is ourbelief about the things that happen to us A. B. C. BOSS DOES BELIEF THAT CONSEQUENCE NOT GIVE ME BOSS DOES ANGER AT A RAISE NOT CARE DISRESPECT ABOUT MEInterpreting RealityIf you were stranded in this car... What would you do? 2010! Bergen & Associates Counselling & Consulting Ltd. 11
  • 13. LANDMINES OF ANGERAbsolutizing__________________________________________Catastrophizing__________________________________________MAGNIFICATION__________________________________________OBJECTIFYING__________________________________________ 2010! Bergen & Associates Counselling & Consulting Ltd. 12
  • 14. Letting Go of Anger: DistractionA CRISIS IS THEEMOTIONS THAT COMEFROM A PROBLEM YOUCANT SOLVEAnger that is out of yourcontrol is like a crisis,because you constantlythink about what ismaking you angry. In suchtimes, distraction is neededto minimize suffering. Distraction Skill Personalized ApplicationA - ActivitiesC - CompassionC - ComparisonE - (opposite) EmotionP - Put awayT - ThoughtsS - Sensations 2010! Bergen & Associates Counselling & Consulting Ltd. 13
  • 15. Transforming Negatives into Positives iseHalf Smile Exerc ions d fac ial expressBoth emotions an e the other to caushave th e ability to le a ng er, the simp occur . Applied to lp -Sm iling can he movem ent of Half e e to the negativ one brin g acceptanc e in. situation they ar PART 1 - DEEP BREATHING EXERCISE • Inhale throug your nose (hold your breathe for a second) • Exhale through your mouth (without making a sound) • In rhythym with your breathing repeat to yourself “JUST THIS ONE BREATH” • Continue this exercise for 5 minutes PART 2 - MUSCLE TENSION/RELAXATION EXERCISE • Notice all of the muscles in your face. • Experience any tension that exists. • Tense up all the muscles in your face (hold it for 30 seconds) • Systematically go through the muscle groups of your body PART 3 - HALF-SMILE EXERCISE • Relax all of the muscles in your face. • Experience how that feels. • Turn the corners of your mouth upward slightly • Notice how this feels. 2010! Bergen & Associates Counselling & Consulting Ltd. 14
  • 16. Learned Anger:Origins Anger is na Violence is tural. . Although been viole anger wit hin our ch learned. . nt . Our ang ildh ood home parents, er may lo may not h b rothers, ok like th av e and sister e actions s when th of our ey were a ngry. QuestionsAs a child, could you tellwhen your mother/father wasangry? What did it look like?What impact did your parents’anger have on you? Others?What toll has your parents’anger taken on your life?What effects has their angerhad on others close to you?Has this learned angercreated problems for you inrelationships? If so, in whatways? 2010! Bergen & Associates Counselling & Consulting Ltd. 15
  • 17. Learned Anger:OriginsQuestionsWhich of your parents’ behaviours that younotice in yourself would you want to “liveon”? Let go of?How would you rather live your life? What dothese intentions say about who you are?Can you think of a time when you were ableto manage your anger?What does it mean to you that you have beenable to do this?What abilities or know-how does it show? 2010! Bergen & Associates Counselling & Consulting Ltd. 16
  • 18. Rackets: Payoff Releasing Resen tment In order to release these resentments we need to understand why we are holding onto them in the first place!Persistent Co_____t _Your_re____nt_____________________ mplain_ __ _ sentme _ Impact _____________________________________ Decision person yo _resent _ _ lf___wa____ar______e ______u _______ut _e _ The _Abo__ S _ y you _ e with th _ Payoff CostRight/Wrong Love/AffinityControl/ FullAvoid Control Self-expressionWin/Lose Vitality/ Well-beingJustify Self/Blame Satisfaction 2010! Bergen & Associates Counselling & Consulting Ltd. 17
  • 19. Short-term Goals If all anger expression is learned, we must have learned what such actions can do for us. In other words, we have learned that, at least in some ways, anger “works.” What are some of the short-term gains of our anger? Area of Benefit Description of BenefitPhysicalPsychologicalSocialOccupational 2010! Bergen & Associates Counselling & Consulting Ltd. 18
  • 20. Long-Term Consequences eThe sayin g “won th r” ost the wa battle, l elevant! yris extremel ome th ere are s tunate Although re are unfor he benefits t es associated with nc conseque tense, and , in frequent odes of a nger. d epis prolonge Area of Description of Consequences Consequence Physical High cholesterol levels, Coronary heart disease, Myocardial infarctions, Stroke, Cancer, Anger-related chronic physical pain Psychological Frequent negative feelings, Increased frequency of revenge fantasies, diminished performance, poor/high-risk decision making, hyper- vigilance Social Occupational 2010! Bergen & Associates Counselling & Consulting Ltd. 19
  • 21. ithin the context of Anger ScriptsAnger occurs wions.particular act e actions anger sWithout the nue escalating. icannot cont e their ho does not hav ot fight a A fireman wannot and will n fire-gear c ire-gear fire. Angry actions are this f The Anger Script The Script Example Opposite Action Raised voice Well beyond the norm for the client Accusatory Blaming others for our content feelings Sarcastic Condemning humour content Harsh tone Showing an attitude in your voice Profanity You Bastard! Gestures Pointing a finger/quick movements Posture Leaning forward/ looking down at target Strong I hate her/I will never/ Words You always Vocal Loud/fast/high pitched Quality 2010! Bergen & Associates Counselling & Consulting Ltd. 20
  • 22. Communication StylesIn the left column there are the four communication styles. Matchthem with the corresponding examples in the column on the right. Examples A “I felt hurt when you came home late, because I was up all night. I would appreciate if you would Passive call next time.” __ __ __ B A person who gets angry at him/herself as a result of this communication style C A communication style often associated with Passive- revenge or “getting even”Aggressive D A person who takes control of their feelings and __ __ __ the situation, not the other person E Sarcasm is an example of this communication styleAggressive F George confronts Paul and says that he is a “slacker” at work and should not have his job __ __ __ G Margaret tells John that he is not making enough money and that there is nothing he can do toAssertive change her mind __ __ __ H In the above scenario John responds by saying, “Yes dear.” I Pity is a common sentiment of others for those who use this communication style J “The topic is NOT up for discussion!” K A “snake-in-the grass” is an appropriate analogy for this communication style. L The objective of this communication style is to let one’s words to do the talking 2010! Bergen & Associates Counselling & Consulting Ltd. 21
  • 23. Obstacles to Assertivenessidentify the people and situations that you find it most difficult todeal with in an assertive manner(i.e. Parents, spouse/partner, politics, money, sex). Identify your DEFAULT stylein addressing these people or issues People/Issue DEFAULT Style Assertiveness FormulaIn order to be assertive at appropriate times, we need to beprepared prior to these occasions. The following is a way to honoryourself and the other person in the expression of your anger.I felt__________________________________________________________When you__________________________________________________________Because__________________________________________________________I would appreciate it if__________________________________________________________ 2010! Bergen & Associates Counselling & Consulting Ltd. 22
  • 24. Assertiveness ScorecardsUse this scorecard to record your difficult or challenginginteractions with others.Person/situation_______________________________________________________Your Response_______________________________________________________Assertive, Passive, Aggressive, Passive-Aggressive?_______________________________________________________How did it turn out?_______________________________________________________Feelings Afterward?_______________________________________________________Alternative Response_______________________________________________________ 2010! Bergen & Associates Counselling & Consulting Ltd. 23
  • 25. Manual ReferencesKassinove, Howard & Tafrate, Raymond Chip. (2002). Anger Management: The" Complete Treatment Guidebook for Practitioners. CA: Impact Publishers.Landmark Education (2009). The Landmark Forum. Seminar.Leahy, Robert L. (2003). Cognitive Therapy Techniques: A Practitioner’s Guide. NY: The$ Guildford Press.Lineham, Marsha M. (1993). Ski$s Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality" Disorder. NY: The Guildford Press.Maddi, Salvatore R. & Khoshaba, Deborah M. (2005). Resilience at Work: How to Succeed" No Matter What Life Throws at You. NY: American Management Association.Sapolsky, Robert M. (2004). Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers: The Acclaimed Guide to Stress," Stress-Related Disease, and Coping. NY: Owl Books.Schiraldi, Glen R. (2001). The Self-esteem Workbook. CA: New Harbinger Publications. 2010! Bergen & Associates Counselling & Consulting Ltd. 24
  • 26. Bergen & Associates Counselling and Consulting Bergen & Associates is a counselling center that provides individual, couple, and family therapy in addition to TDC.   Carolyn O Bergen Experienced therapists with a variety of Rod MinakerCarolyn’s experience expertise work with clients to help them Rod has been leadingincludes working with reach their goals in their relationships anger managementmen and women as with themselves and others.   groups for men andindividuals, couples women since 2007. www.bergenandassociates.caand families in a Rod’s passion is tocounselling setting.  empower men andShe has 20 years of women to manageexperience working as their anger utilizinga therapist, over 8 evidence-basedyears in her present research to date setting.  Consulting

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