Intro to Conflict Styles

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Intro to conflict styles presents five styles of dealing with conflict and the value of each in conflict resolution. Suitable for work with Style Matters: The Kraybill Conflict Inventory, the Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, and some other five style inventories.

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Intro to Conflict Styles

  1. 1. Introduction to Conflict Styles<br />Copyright 2011 Riverhouse ePress<br />www.ConflictStyleMatters.com<br />
  2. 2. Two factors strongly shape our choice of conflict style: <br />How hard do we push for the things we want , our agenda?and…<br />
  3. 3. How much attention do we give to the relationship?<br />
  4. 4. Relationship<br />and<br /> own Agenda<br />When we put the two factors together, we get five different styles of responding to conflict. <br />Each has:<br /><ul><li> a special focus
  5. 5. a unique set of strengths and weaknesses. </li></li></ul><li>We’re doing it my way...<br />Let’s just get the job done. (and worry about the relationship later...)<br />High focus <br />on own agenda<br />DIRECTING<br />Focus on own agenda: High<br />Focus on relationship: Low <br />I win/you lose.How?Assert, control, compete.<br />Insist, demand, defeat.<br />Low focus on relationship<br />
  6. 6. High focus on relationship<br />HARMONIZING<br />Sure, I’m flexible .<br />Whatever you’re happy<br />with is fine with me....<br />Focus on own agenda: Low<br />Focus on relationship: High <br />I lose/you win.How? Agree, go along, give in, affirm.<br />Low focus on <br />own agenda<br />
  7. 7. Low focus on relationship<br />AVOIDING<br />Let me out of here…! <br />I don’t want to talk about it…<br />Conflict? What conflict?<br />Focus on own agenda: Low<br />Focus on relationship: Low<br />I lose/you lose.How? Withdraw, remain silent, walk away,postpone discussion, delay responding.<br />Low focus on <br />own agenda<br />
  8. 8. High focus on <br />own agenda<br />Let’s talk this through…<br />My preference is…..<br />And I want to hear and understand yours…..<br />COOPERATING<br />Focus on own agenda: High<br />Focus on relationship: High<br /> I win/you win.<br />How? Dialogue.Agree to talk things through.Assert self and support the other.<br />High focus on relationship<br />
  9. 9. If we each back off and accept half of what we want, we can get an agreement and move on…<br />COMPROMISING<br />Focus on own agenda: Medium<br />Focus on relationship: Medium<br />We both win some/We both lose some.<br />How?Bargain, strike a deal, find a little something for everyone.<br />
  10. 10. When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything you see is a nail.Mark Twain<br />Each style is a valuable tool, essential for particular situations all of us face. <br />We handle conflict better when we are equally skilled in all five styles. Then we can choose the response most likely to bring a good outcome.<br />Learn the strengths and weaknesses of each style. Grow by experimenting with greater use of styles you use least.<br />www.ConflictStyleMatters.com<br />

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