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Intro to Conflict Styles
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Intro to Conflict Styles

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Intro to conflict styles presents five styles of dealing with conflict and the value of each in conflict resolution. Suitable for work with Style Matters: The Kraybill Conflict Inventory, the …

Intro to conflict styles presents five styles of dealing with conflict and the value of each in conflict resolution. Suitable for work with Style Matters: The Kraybill Conflict Inventory, the Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, and some other five style inventories.

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  • 1. Introduction to Conflict Styles
    Copyright 2011 Riverhouse ePress
    www.ConflictStyleMatters.com
  • 2. Two factors strongly shape our choice of conflict style:
    How hard do we push for the things we want , our agenda?and…
  • 3. How much attention do we give to the relationship?
  • 4. Relationship
    and
    own Agenda
    When we put the two factors together, we get five different styles of responding to conflict.
    Each has:
    • a special focus
    • 5. a unique set of strengths and weaknesses.
  • We’re doing it my way...
    Let’s just get the job done. (and worry about the relationship later...)
    High focus
    on own agenda
    DIRECTING
    Focus on own agenda: High
    Focus on relationship: Low
    I win/you lose.How?Assert, control, compete.
    Insist, demand, defeat.
    Low focus on relationship
  • 6. High focus on relationship
    HARMONIZING
    Sure, I’m flexible .
    Whatever you’re happy
    with is fine with me....
    Focus on own agenda: Low
    Focus on relationship: High
    I lose/you win.How? Agree, go along, give in, affirm.
    Low focus on
    own agenda
  • 7. Low focus on relationship
    AVOIDING
    Let me out of here…!
    I don’t want to talk about it…
    Conflict? What conflict?
    Focus on own agenda: Low
    Focus on relationship: Low
    I lose/you lose.How? Withdraw, remain silent, walk away,postpone discussion, delay responding.
    Low focus on
    own agenda
  • 8. High focus on
    own agenda
    Let’s talk this through…
    My preference is…..
    And I want to hear and understand yours…..
    COOPERATING
    Focus on own agenda: High
    Focus on relationship: High
    I win/you win.
    How? Dialogue.Agree to talk things through.Assert self and support the other.
    High focus on relationship
  • 9. If we each back off and accept half of what we want, we can get an agreement and move on…
    COMPROMISING
    Focus on own agenda: Medium
    Focus on relationship: Medium
    We both win some/We both lose some.
    How?Bargain, strike a deal, find a little something for everyone.
  • 10. When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything you see is a nail.Mark Twain
    Each style is a valuable tool, essential for particular situations all of us face.
    We handle conflict better when we are equally skilled in all five styles. Then we can choose the response most likely to bring a good outcome.
    Learn the strengths and weaknesses of each style. Grow by experimenting with greater use of styles you use least.
    www.ConflictStyleMatters.com