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Why i loved, loathed and learned from facebook
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Why i loved, loathed and learned from facebook


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  • 1. Love, Loathe And Learn Why I Loved, Then Loathed And Finally Learned From Facebook a real story
  • 2. First I loved Facebook
  • 3. I reveled in the attention,
  • 4. and was engrossed in the gossips.
  • 5. I used to enjoy seeing what others did or posting what I did,
  • 6. You may call it stalking
  • 7. or may be the love of self.
  • 8. Yes, I loved my BIG ego.
  • 9. I could say many things that I couldn’t say on their face and yet go scot free…
  • 10. I was ‘connected’ without really needing to meet or waste time.
  • 11. I loved those surreal experiences and
  • 12. was thrilled with my second world
  • 13. I admired my own posts to no end,
  • 14. and cherished the persona that I created for myself
  • 15. Subtly but surely, Facebook became THE only reality.
  • 16. I was addicted, and I would not admit.
  • 17. My Facebook image larger than the real me and those shoes hard to fill
  • 18. In real world and when I met real people, a false sense of familiarity overpowered the distance
  • 19. Now, I started loathing myself
  • 20. I saw that people’s opinions about ‘me’ was not about me
  • 21. I imagined that they saw ‘me’ as a time waster
  • 22. Even though I compromised 4+ hours of sleep each day
  • 23. They saw ‘me’ as jobless jack, or so I assumed.
  • 24. They were probably calling me an egotist,
  • 25. And I was getting increasingly uncomfortable with such notions
  • 26. I was getting distant with myself, unable to accept that reality
  • 27. Many a time, I saw them as intruding into my private life
  • 28. At other times, I suspected that they were nonchalant
  • 29. I felt terrible when people did not ‘like’ my banal posts
  • 30. I felt let down just because 299 ‘friends’ wished on birthday. (I have all of 943 friends)
  • 31. I started disliking their views and vice versa
  • 32. I started reading too much into what they were posting
  • 33. I made foes out of friends more because
  • 34. I suspected that they knew me more than they should about me.
  • 35. I started getting confused with my innate introversion and supposed exuberant extroversion.
  • 36. There were conflicts with ‘me’ and me
  • 37. My many roles merged into one completely and a confused personality for all to see
  • 38. I experienced incompleteness as everybody seemed to be doing awesome while my life seemed awful
  • 39. Dreadful, hideous, repulsive, vile and upsetting to say the least
  • 40. When I have nothing to write that day, I felt melancholic
  • 41. No ‘like’ in 4 hours was a misery, just as the wait for the next like or next comment was excruciating
  • 42. Sleepless nights and sleeping pills wouldn't work
  • 43. I snapped, slapped myself awake
  • 44. And took a short Facebook Sabbath. I deactivated Facebook
  • 45. And deleted the app from my phone and the iPad.
  • 46. I started running sea ward and ran long distances, alone
  • 47. Meditated by the beach, Rollerbladed on sidewalks
  • 48. Prayed and started to discover the new ‘me’
  • 49. That was in sync with me
  • 50. And hence learned a few lessons
  • 51. Facebook in itself was not bad. It was my own addiction
  • 52. It was not how others saw me. It was how I thought they saw me.
  • 53. They did not ignore me. They had placed importance to themselves.
  • 54. Not that they didn’t ‘like’ me, they just took care of themselves.
  • 55. The real world, real people were intact with their pristine goodness.
  • 56. There still existed real meetings, real friends.
  • 57. Online did not erase off-line identity. They coexisted.
  • 58. There was a lot to learn and a lot more to unlearn.
  • 59. So this is what I did
  • 60. I slashed my friends’ list. All those not regularly adding value or making make me laugh had to go - unfollow or hidden.
  • 61. I set a max limits on people. Less people, less content, less gossip, more time
  • 62. I found a good reader app I use Flipboard to consolidate news and browse once a day for just 20 min.
  • 63. I time boxed my online presence. I check Facebook only during breakfast, taxis or if I am waiting for some one.
  • 64. I minimized the number devices Now my devices now serve specific functions
  • 65. I deleted my phone app Just the way we remove junk food from the fridge to stick to a diet.
  • 66. I turned to reliable content sources I followed useful content from professionals only on twitter, LinkedIn and tech blogs.
  • 67. I use apps like Klout and Buffer to schedule sharing and wolfram alpha , retweet lab tell me on the good times to post.
  • 68. The results are telling
  • 69. I’ve found myself refreshed, focused, and energetic.
  • 70. I re-discovered the beauty of the world beyond inbox, newsfeeds and comments.
  • 71. I was easy to love and loathe, it was arduous to step back, breathe in and to look at one self in the mirror.
  • 72. And the journey continues… #LifeIsOn #FullVolume
  • 73. Love, Loathe And Learn Why I Loved, Then Loathed And Finally Learned From Facebook
  • 74. By a President aspirant, amateur author, doting dad, experimental entrepreneur, passionate photographer, social media evangelist, tireless traveler, happenstance humanoid - Rajesh Soundararajan | @rajeshsound