الهبات الإنسانية الأربعة1- الادراك الذاتي: أن لي حرية اختيار رد الفعل على أي مؤثر خارجي2-الخيال: تصور حدوث أشياء لم تحدث بعد وتأثيراتها.3- الضمير: الإحساس بالمبادئ ، وادراك الصحيح من الخاطئ. واتساق أفعالنا مع هذه المباديء.4-الإرادة الحرة: في اختيار رد الفعل السليم بغض النظر عن المؤثر.
من مركز دائرة التأثير تتكون التصورات الرئيسية، والقيم. هنا نختبر خرائطنا الذهنية وصحة مبادئنا
الارشاد : مرجعية الحياة ومصدر التوجه، الحكمة: منظور الحياة والتوازن وفهم المباديء وربطها ببعضها. القدرة على الفهم والتقييم وإصدار الاحكام. القوة : القدرة على التصرف والطاقة للتنفيذ والتغيير وإنجاز العمل
SECURITYSense of worth, self esteem & personal strength GUIDANCE Source of direction in lifeWISDOM Perspective on lifePOWER Decision making ability الارشاد : مرجعية الحياة ومصدر التوجه، الحكمة: منظور الحياة والتوازن وفهم المبادئ وربطها ببعضها. القدرة على الفهم والتقييم وإصدار الاحكام. القوة : القدرة على التصرف والطاقة للتنفيذ والتغيير وإنجاز العمل
Square 2 is the heart of the effective one.
They’re worst than Win\lose people – they could be considered as their preys – the Win\lose people like the lose\Win ones
The interaction between two Win\Lose people. they become stubborn and seek vengeance. They might thought that if all are losers then lose is not a big deal.
The most Important Habit in interpersonal relations
The Seven Habits
Of highly effective people
The Character Ethic : primary traits
• Absolute principles that exist in all human beings.
• Principles have universal application. Techniques are
only valid for specific situations .
• Examples of such principles are fairness, honesty,
integrity, human dignity, equality, and justice.
Personality Ethic: secondary traits
• Personality Ethic are secondary.
• Secondary traits may help one to play the game to succeed
in specific circumstances
• Ex. Skills, techniques, maintaining a positive attitude, etc
• Long term success requires both.
The Maturity Continuum
we cooperate to achieve something that
cannot be achieved independently.
we make our decisions and take
care of ourselves
relying upon others to take care of us
You could say:
(half-full) OR (half-empty).
Both are right – its only the perception.
The way we see the problem is the problem.
Problems, at times, could be opportunities
If you want small change, work on your behavior; if you want
quantum-leap changes, work on your paradigms
is an art won by training and
We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence, then, is not an act, but a
Seek First to
… Then to be
the End in Mind
Theories of determinism
Three theories of determinism affecting our response to a
1. Genetic determinism (DNA)
2. Psychic determinism (childhood experience)
3. Environmental determinism (boss, spouse, economic situation,
Circle of influence
Circle of Concern
Circle of Influence
Where do you focus your time and energy?
• Proactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Influence.
• Reactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Concern.
HOW PROACTIVE AM I?
. . . the degree to which I take initiative to improve
my current circumstances or create new ones.
The Final image
• To begin with the end in mind is to begin with the
image of the end of your life as the frame of reference
by which everything else is measured.
• We may be busy, we may be efficient, but we will only
be effective if we begin with the end in mind.
• A powerful document that expresses your
personal sense of purpose and meaning in life.
• It acts as a governing constitution by which you
evaluate decisions and choose behaviors.
What’s your life center ?
• Our deepest center
The four life-supporting factors
Sense of worth, self esteem &
Guidance • GUIDANCE
Source of direction in
• WISDOM Perspective on life
• POWER Decision making ability
Be principle centered... Why?
• Creating a solid changeless core, from which flow the four
• Correct principles do not change. And principles are applied
to all If they realize or not.
• A principle-centered puts his values and principles higher
• Have balance between different alternate centers.
Principle of Personal Management
Two Factors to Define Any Activity
• Urgency - An activity is urgent if you or others feel that it
requires immediate attention.
• Importance - An activity is importance if you personally
find it valuable, and if it contributes to your mission
values, and high-priority goals.
Time Management Matrix
Friend gets injured
Late for work/class
Project due today
Planning, goal setting
Paper due in a week
Unimportant phone calls
Other people’s small
Too much TV
Endless phone calls
Say no to Q4
Not urgent but Important (Attach to mission)
• Prevention of problems
• Relationships building
• Recognizing new opportunities
• Planning recreation
• Few crises
Urgent but Not Important (Distraction)
• Interruptions, some calls
• Some mail, some reports
• Some meetings
• Popular activities
• Short-term focus
• Crisis management
• Feel victimized, out of control
• Broken relationships
Not Urgent & Not Important (Time wasters)
• Some mail
• Some phone calls
• Time wasters
• Pleasant activities
• Dependent on others
• Total irresponsibility
• Fired from jobs
Become a self manager in (Q2)
1. Identify roles: (Individual/Parent/Manager/Teacher/….)
2. Selecting goals: related to Q2 activities and to your mission statement.
3. Schedule: selecting time to perform the actions needed to achieve
4. Daily adapting: everyday review to your schedule
The emotional bank account
The amount of trust built up in a relationship
The feeling of safeness that makes
communication easy, instant and effective
Problems create the opportunity to build a
Six major deposits
1.Understanding person: uncover the deep need,
treat him according to it.
2.Attending the little things: don’t underestimate
little kindness or courtesies.
3.Keeping commitments: keep your promises or
explain situation and ask to be released.
Six major deposits
4. Clarify expectations: Conflicts arise form ambiguous
expectations about roles and goals .
5. Show your personal integrity: show loyalty to the
absent people to build trust with the present people.
6. Apologize sincerely when you make a withdrawal:
gentle manner is only expected from strong people.
Principle of Mutual benefit
Two different perceptions
There’re limited opportunities. Limited
There’s enough success for me and
(amount) of success. I must take success
for every one who desire success.
for myself regardless the others.
If I succeeded the others should fail.
If They succeeded I would fail too.
Life is a zero game.
I can succeed as the others can too.
Life is cooperative.
• Seeks for mutual benefit
• Sees life as cooperative, not competitive
• There’s plenty for everybody
• Believes in the third alternative
• Listens more, stays in communication longer, and
communicates with more courage.
• People with this mindset are concerned with themselves first and last.
• They want to win, others to lose. They succeeds at the expense of the
• They are driven by comparison, competition, position, and power.
• Have low trust of the other people.
• Is the authoritarian approach.
• They choose to lose and let others win. Show high
consideration for others, but lack the courage to express
• Strength from public acceptance.
• They’re quick to please or appease.
• Buries a lot of feelings.
• People who have a lose-lose paradigm are low on courage and
• They envy and criticize others.
• They put themselves and others down.
• Is the mindset of a highly dependent person.
• Is a long-term result of a win-lose, lose-win, or win.
• They are personally set on winning. Although they don’t
necessarily want others to lose.
• They think independently in interdependent situations,
without sensitivity or awareness of others.
• Is self-centered. Thinks “me first”.
• Has a Scarcity Mentality”.
6. WinWin or No deal
Win-Win or No Deal is the highest form of win-win.
People who adopt this paradigm seek first for win-win. If they cannot
find an acceptable solution, they agree to disagree agreeably.
• Allows each party to say no.
• They have high consideration for others plus high courage to
express their opinions.
Principle of Mutual Understanding
Four common levels for listening
1. Ignoring: Making no effort to listen
2. Practice pretending: Making believe or giving the appearance
you are listening .
3. Practice selective listening: Hearing only the parts of the
conversation that interest you.
4. Attentive listening: Paying attention and focusing on what the
speaker says, and comparing that to your own experiences.
Principles of Empathic Communication
Fifth level: Empathic listening (most effective level):
• Requires high levels of consideration
• Deep understanding of the problem first
• Requires more than practicing listening techniques
• It’s listening with intent to understand (changing our
Then seek to be understood
• Requires high level of courage
• Equally critical in reaching win/win solutions.
Principle of Creative cooperation
• Deeply understanding each other becomes the stepping
stones to synergy
• Synergy means that the whole is greater than the sum of its
• One plus one equals three or more. (1+1≥ 3)
• Identifying a third synergistic alternative/solution that will
be better for everyone concerned.
Value the differences
Synergy encourages people to respect differences between them,
and see them as opportunities for learning.
The differing opinions of others and their viewpoints, perspectives,
talents and gifts are valuable when seeking solutions.
These differences enable you to discover and produce things
together that you would much less likely discover and produce
Levels of valuing the differences
Principle of Renewal
Process of renewal
• Renewal is a daily process to refresh our nature.
• Renewal is helping us to keep on track.
• Renewal needs time to be assigned (in Q2).
• Renewal is considered as an investment in
The four dimensions of renewal
Value Clarification &
• Care about your body by having good nutrition.
• Have enough relaxation and sleep.
• Exercise regularly.
• Spiritual dimension is the core of your principles. And connects
you with all absolute facts in life.
• You should keep your prays, read Quran.
• Read inspiring books. Observe the universe. Look to creatures.
Leave all distractors.
• Stop wasting time in TV movies. Watch documentaries, learning
shows. Choose what you watch.
• Read books . Literature, history, science, self development, ….etc.
• Write dairies. Take notes. Write your thoughts.
Social (emotional) renewal
• Doesn’t need special time. Make this through your daily
communication with people.
• Apply the public victory habits. Deal Winwin. Understand your
partner first. Accept his difference and cooperate with him.
The Upward Spiral of Growth
• Success is a long
journey, not a
• “ A thousand-mile
journey begins with
the first step”. And
can only be taken one
step at a time.
Paradigm shifts – change your life
I’m a product of environment
I’m a product of my choices and actions
Begin with the end
Society is the source of values
Values is chosen and provide base for
But first things first
Being slave to the urgent matters
comes from environment
I prioritize my works according to its
importance and my mission statement
I must take success before others
I can succeed with others
Seek first to
Strike and run. And compromise in
case of conflict
Empathic communication to understand
others for solving problems
Difference is threat. Independence is
the highest value. 1+1=2
Diverse is advantage. Interdependence is
the highest value 1+1 is bigger than 2
Sharpen the saw
Typical work – burn on the same track
Continuous self improvement and renewal