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Influence SkillsThe Power of Influence                Andrew L. Urich, J.D.            Puterbaugh Professor of            ...
Can I Influence You?    McDonald’s Coffee Case       Is $3 Million Reasonable?                              www.andrewuric...
Idea #1The Facts Don’t Matter………                If No One Believes You The   FACTS don’t matter!            –   Politics ...
Idea #2People Are Annoying   I am a hypocrite.   I play favorites.   I interpret rules in a way that benefits me.   I ...
Idea #2People Are Annoying   I like my ideas better just because they’re mine.   I think it’s fun to say “no” when I hav...
Idea #2People Are Annoying   I like to be “right.”   I love to say “I told you so.”   I hate to admit I’m wrong even in...
Idea #3Conflict Is Underrated Everyone  wants to participate in  decisions that affect them. Dispersion of power causes ...
Idea #4Authority Is OUT – Influence Is IN   Use competence and commitment instead of    position and status.   Team buil...
Idea #5When is “Sucking Up” actually “Sucking Up?” It’s     not what you say….it’s how you make  them feel.          My ...
The Advantage of Ethical Influence“A lie can travel halfway aroundthe world while the truth is puttingon its shoes.”      ...
Keys to Influence &   Informal NegotiationStrategy for Success: Plan in advance! A little preparation saves the day. It...
Keys to InfluenceStrategy for Success: Five Factors for Planning1.   Overcome communication blockers.     (First, get them...
COMMUNICATION BLOCKERSIf They Aren’t Listening…    It Doesn’t Matter What You Say.
Communication BlockersMultiple Choice Question a)   U.S.D.A. b)   A.A.A.E. c)   OSU Ag College d)   K Fed                 ...
Communication BlockersMultiple Choice Question a)   U.S.D.A. b)   A.A.A.E. c)   OSU Ag College d)   K Fed                 ...
Limit the Impact of Your Point of View Areyou impacted by experience? (Driving Rule of Relativity) Are you assuming ever...
Overcome the Bias of Others What   stereotypes might they have about you? How   can you outflank their bias? People can...
Learn to Open Closed Minds Things are exactly as people choose to  see them. Is   it important enough to care? Value   ...
Win/Win OpportunitiesManaging the Impact of Self Interest.
Factor in the Interestsof Both Sides   How will the other person profit from your    relationship?   Can you make the ot...
Win/Win Make the Pie Bigger Instead of Arguing About How to Slice It Win/Win is an attitude.   –   62% believe in the fix...
Win/Win Attitude Ka-shing
Become a Persuasive Manager  Be Likeable and Look the Part!
Learn to Become            EVEN More LikeableWe prefer to comply with the requests of people we like.     We like, trust,...
Learn to Become More LikeableIt’s not fair– but people judge you by your appearance.Well-Dressed People are Perceived As:...
Learn to Become More Likeable   Consistently search for similarities between    yourself and those with which you deal. ...
Learn to Become More Likeable Listening   and taking an interest in the other  person Friendliness Body language – smil...
Avoid Conflict and Confrontations  Make Them Feel Good About You.
You Will Never Prove Them Wrong Have   you ever done it before? Would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?...
Avoid Confrontations What  they say – has a lot to do with what  you already said. Theirlife experience is different tha...
Keys to InfluenceStrategy for Success: Five Factors for Planning1.   Overcome communication blockers.     (First, get them...
Summary of Influence and  Persuasion  The Ten Most Important Things to Remember1. The most important thing – do they like ...
Summary of Influence and Persuasion The Ten Most Important Things to Remember6. You have a point of view.7. Do not underes...
Thank You   Please keep in touch.    aurich@okstate.edu   www.andrewurich.com I Like You!                           www.an...
References   Ailes, Roger. You Are the Message. New York. Doubleday, 1988.   Cialdini, Robert B. Influence: Science and ...
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Influence Skillls

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Influence Skills Friday April 5, 2013

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  • Transcript of "Influence Skillls"

    1. 1. Influence SkillsThe Power of Influence Andrew L. Urich, J.D. Puterbaugh Professor of Ethics & Legal Studies Oklahoma State University aurich@okstate.edu www.andrewurich.com 405.744.8619
    2. 2. Can I Influence You? McDonald’s Coffee Case Is $3 Million Reasonable? www.andrewurich.com
    3. 3. Idea #1The Facts Don’t Matter……… If No One Believes You The FACTS don’t matter! – Politics – Marketing vs. Finance Literally a matter of life and death. Ability to influence is a key to success. www.andrewurich.com
    4. 4. Idea #2People Are Annoying I am a hypocrite. I play favorites. I interpret rules in a way that benefits me. I have been known to ignore rules that get in my way. I like people better if they like me. www.andrewurich.com
    5. 5. Idea #2People Are Annoying I like my ideas better just because they’re mine. I think it’s fun to say “no” when I have the power to do so. You cannot change how I see the world. It is important to me to look good in the eyes of others. I don’t even know 1/10th of 1% about anything, but I think I know everything. www.andrewurich.com
    6. 6. Idea #2People Are Annoying I like to be “right.” I love to say “I told you so.” I hate to admit I’m wrong even in those rare situations when it looks like I might be. Here’s how I make decisions: I decide what I want the answer to be – and then make up the logical reasons to support my decision. www.andrewurich.com
    7. 7. Idea #3Conflict Is Underrated Everyone wants to participate in decisions that affect them. Dispersion of power causes conflict and growing pains. Conflict identifies opportunities for improvement. www.andrewurich.com
    8. 8. Idea #4Authority Is OUT – Influence Is IN Use competence and commitment instead of position and status. Team building and leadership are not based on authority. We are influencing all of the time – positively or negatively.  The sign in PS 101  My daughter wants to go to Vegas  Authority at Tinker Air Force Base www.andrewurich.com
    9. 9. Idea #5When is “Sucking Up” actually “Sucking Up?” It’s not what you say….it’s how you make them feel.  My neighbor’s pictures  Baby pictures  The IT people www.andrewurich.com
    10. 10. The Advantage of Ethical Influence“A lie can travel halfway aroundthe world while the truth is puttingon its shoes.” -- Mark Twain www.andrewurich.com
    11. 11. Keys to Influence & Informal NegotiationStrategy for Success: Plan in advance! A little preparation saves the day. It’s not always what you do say – it’s often what you don’t say. www.andrewurich.com
    12. 12. Keys to InfluenceStrategy for Success: Five Factors for Planning1. Overcome communication blockers. (First, get them to listen)2. Look for win/win opportunities (manage self-interest).3. Become a persuasive messenger. (Be likeable and look the part)4. Don’t create conflicts and confrontations. (Make them feel good about you)5. Get control of information and misinformation. (It’s not all about the facts…but facts are important) www.andrewurich.com
    13. 13. COMMUNICATION BLOCKERSIf They Aren’t Listening… It Doesn’t Matter What You Say.
    14. 14. Communication BlockersMultiple Choice Question a) U.S.D.A. b) A.A.A.E. c) OSU Ag College d) K Fed www.andrewurich.com
    15. 15. Communication BlockersMultiple Choice Question a) U.S.D.A. b) A.A.A.E. c) OSU Ag College d) K Fed www.andrewurich.com
    16. 16. Limit the Impact of Your Point of View Areyou impacted by experience? (Driving Rule of Relativity) Are you assuming everyone should think like you? Could you be wrong? www.andrewurich.com
    17. 17. Overcome the Bias of Others What stereotypes might they have about you? How can you outflank their bias? People can only hear and incorporate things they understand. www.andrewurich.com
    18. 18. Learn to Open Closed Minds Things are exactly as people choose to see them. Is it important enough to care? Value diversity. www.andrewurich.com
    19. 19. Win/Win OpportunitiesManaging the Impact of Self Interest.
    20. 20. Factor in the Interestsof Both Sides How will the other person profit from your relationship? Can you make the other person’s job easier? Can you help the other person appear better in the eyes of his/her superiors? www.andrewurich.com
    21. 21. Win/Win Make the Pie Bigger Instead of Arguing About How to Slice It Win/Win is an attitude. – 62% believe in the fixed pie fallacy. – Pay close attention to their concerns. – Use creativity, diligence and enthusiasm to identify new options. www.andrewurich.com
    22. 22. Win/Win Attitude Ka-shing
    23. 23. Become a Persuasive Manager Be Likeable and Look the Part!
    24. 24. Learn to Become EVEN More LikeableWe prefer to comply with the requests of people we like.  We like, trust, and believe people who like us. www.andrewurich.com
    25. 25. Learn to Become More LikeableIt’s not fair– but people judge you by your appearance.Well-Dressed People are Perceived As: – More productive – Responsible – Personally acceptable – More intelligent – More honest – Hardworking – Taking their job seriously www.andrewurich.com
    26. 26. Learn to Become More Likeable Consistently search for similarities between yourself and those with which you deal. Develop the habit of giving sincere compliments. Familiarity and contact enhance liking. www.andrewurich.com
    27. 27. Learn to Become More Likeable Listening and taking an interest in the other person Friendliness Body language – smiling, nodding, leaning in, eye contact People like optimistic and enthusiastic people. www.andrewurich.com
    28. 28. Avoid Conflict and Confrontations Make Them Feel Good About You.
    29. 29. You Will Never Prove Them Wrong Have you ever done it before? Would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy? How would you feel if someone proved you wrong? www.andrewurich.com
    30. 30. Avoid Confrontations What they say – has a lot to do with what you already said. Theirlife experience is different than yours. Focus on the issue – don’t make it personal. Be very considerate. www.andrewurich.com
    31. 31. Keys to InfluenceStrategy for Success: Five Factors for Planning1. Overcome communication blockers. (First, get them to listen)2. Look for win/win opportunities (manage self-interest).3. Become a persuasive messenger. (Be likeable and look the part)4. Don’t create conflicts and confrontations. (Make them feel good about you)5. Get control of information and misinformation. (It’s not all about the facts…but facts are important) www.andrewurich.com
    32. 32. Summary of Influence and Persuasion The Ten Most Important Things to Remember1. The most important thing – do they like you?2. The other most important thing – break through communication blockers.3. Authority is out – influence is in.4. Planning influence opportunities in advance can lead you to great success.5. Look for Win/win opportunities. www.andrewurich.com
    33. 33. Summary of Influence and Persuasion The Ten Most Important Things to Remember6. You have a point of view.7. Do not underestimate self-interest.8. You will never prove them wrong.9. It’s not what you say….it’s how you make them feel.10. Good relationships provide power, security and success! www.andrewurich.com
    34. 34. Thank You Please keep in touch. aurich@okstate.edu www.andrewurich.com I Like You! www.andrewurich.com
    35. 35. References Ailes, Roger. You Are the Message. New York. Doubleday, 1988. Cialdini, Robert B. Influence: Science and Practice. 3rd Ed. New York: Harper Collins, 1993. Cohen, Herb. You Can Negotiate Anything. Secaucus, N.J.: Lyle Stuart, 1980 Covey, Stephen R. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1989. Dayton, Doug. Selling Microsoft. Holbrook, MA., Adams Media Corporation, 1997. Fisher, Roger and William Ury. Getting to Yes. New York: Viking Penguin, Inc., 1981. Forsyth, Patrick. The Negotiators Pocketbook. London: Alresford Press Ltd., 1993. Johnson, Spencer. The One Minute Sales Person. William Morrow, N.Y, 1984. Karrass, Chester L. Give and Take. New York: Harper Collins, 1993. Karrass, Chester L. The Negotiating Game. New York: Harper Collins, 1992. Kozicki, Stephen. The Creative Negotiator. Pyrmont, Australia: Gower, 1993. Lewicki, Roy J., et.al. Negotiation. 2nd Edition. Burr Ridge, Il.: Irwin, 1994. Nierenberg, Gerald 1. The Art of Negotiating. New York: Barnes & Noble, 1995. Paul, Richard. Critical Thinking. Santa Rosa, CA: Foundation for Critical Thinking, 1993. Schoonmaker, Alan N. Negotiate to Win: Gaining the Psychological Edge. Englewood Cliffs, N.J.: Prentice Hall, 1989. www.andrewurich.com
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