About I was born with the lyrics to all Dire Straits songs in my head.
I was so ugly as a child I wasn’t allowed to play in sand pits because big cats used to try to cover me up.
My teeth were so big as a kid the tooth fairy had to leave me IOU’s.
It took me 18 years to grow into my head... I once wore the same jumper for an entire week because I couldn’t get it off.
If there’s 50/50 choice to be paid I’ll get it wrong most of the time.
I can bluff at poker but I can’t lie convincingly.
For the last year I’ve averaged 1.5 parking tickets per month.
I like corn on the cob but I can’t stand sweet corn from a tin.
1986 is still the best year of my life so far.
Throwing a F