Strong willed parent!

Raise them UP,Raise them UP,
Don’t Crush them Down!Don’t Crush them Down!
&&
The Strong-Willed ParentThe Strong-Willed Parent
By Mark HambyBy Mark Hamby
Lamplighter MinistriesLamplighter Ministries
www.lamplighterpublishing.comwww.lamplighterpublishing.com
1-888-246-77351-888-246-7735

LamplighterLamplighter
PublishingPublishing
Building Character, one story at a time!Building Character, one story at a time!
WWW.LAMPLIGHTER.NET
1-888-A-GOSPEL

My children, ages 14, 12 and 7, are voraciousMy children, ages 14, 12 and 7, are voracious
readers, and it has always been a challenge to findreaders, and it has always been a challenge to find
suitable reading material for them. We've had tosuitable reading material for them. We've had to
content ourselves with books that are merelycontent ourselves with books that are merely
inoffensive, but NOW we can provide them withinoffensive, but NOW we can provide them with
literature that encourages and teaches them in theliterature that encourages and teaches them in the
ways of the Lord, in Truth that will guide their livesways of the Lord, in Truth that will guide their lives
unto godliness!!! After God's teaching in His Word,unto godliness!!! After God's teaching in His Word,
Lamplighter has been the greatest support in ourLamplighter has been the greatest support in our
homeschool, and I can't thank you, and praise ourhomeschool, and I can't thank you, and praise our
Lord, enough.Lord, enough.

LAMPLIGHTER.NET
Character Comprehension Quizzes

Raise them UP,Raise them UP,
Don’t Crush them Down!Don’t Crush them Down!
&&
The Strong-Willed ParentThe Strong-Willed Parent
Meet Jonathan!Meet Jonathan!

He tends his flock like a shepherd;He tends his flock like a shepherd;
He gathers the lambs in his armsHe gathers the lambs in his arms
And carries them close to his heart;And carries them close to his heart;
He gently leads those that have young.He gently leads those that have young.
Isaiah 40:11Isaiah 40:11

Jonathan,
Your posture looks very tired. Please sit
up and
look attentive in God’s house. Please use
Mom’s
Bible. Thanks for listening to my
instruction.
Manhood Lesson #1
A Will To Obey!


Dad,
I am tired. I slept for four hours.
Instead of always finding some
way to “instruct me”, let me listen
and understand in peace.
Thanks,
Jonathan
Trying to help!

JUDGMENT
LISTEN
OBEY
JUDGMENT SHORT LIFE
Dad
Jonathan,
I would love to be sensitive to your tiredness, but
someday you will stand before the living God and
will give an account for your refusal to listen to my
instruction. Like it or not, God has given me the
responsibility to instruct you. Whether you listen or
not is up to you. Just remember, refusal to listen
places you outside the blessing and protection of
God.
B
L
E
S
S
I
N
G
L
O
N
G
L
I
F
E

Dad,
I did sit up. I’m not refusing to listen and I’m
tired of you getting on my case. Do you
actually wonder why I don’t like sitting with
you? C’mon, I am totally exhausted. I’m
doing my best just to stay awake, ok?! 
Jonathan
Listening and Obeying
for there’s no other way!

Jonathan,
I’ve been doing some soul searching lately, and I believe I
have not been a good father to you, but recognize that by
God’s grace, it is never too late. I am truly sorry for the
pain I’ve caused you. May God’s spirit and your
committed dad bring healing ointment to your life. Here
is my shoe oil thing--use it whenever you like.
All that is mine is yours!
Love,
Dad
Ephesians 3:20

Dad,
I’ve been doing some thinking of my
own. I, too, am sorry for the pain I’ve
caused you. However, I disagree with
you in that you have not been a good
father—we’ve just had some rough
spots (more like smooth spots on sand
paper, but who’s looking). Here’s my
tie—wear it whenever you want.  
Jonathan
James 1:2-3

And He shall turn the hearts ofAnd He shall turn the hearts of
the Fathers to the children,the Fathers to the children,
And the heart of the childrenAnd the heart of the children
to their fathers,to their fathers,
Lest I come and smite theLest I come and smite the
earth with aearth with a
CURSE!
Malachi 4:6Malachi 4:6

The results of the curse:The results of the curse:
 serpent – will now crawl on its bellyserpent – will now crawl on its belly
and constant conflictand constant conflict
 Eve – inEve – in sorrowsorrow she will bring forthshe will bring forth
childrenchildren
 Adam – inAdam – in sorrowsorrow he will bring forth thehe will bring forth the
fruit of the groundfruit of the ground
sorrow: intense laborsorrow: intense labor

THETHE GRACEGRACE
OF OUR LORDOF OUR LORD
JESUS CHRISTJESUS CHRIST
BE WITH YOU ALL AMEN.BE WITH YOU ALL AMEN.
Revelation 22:21Revelation 22:21

YOU CANNOTYOU CANNOT
CONTROLCONTROL
ANYTHING WHENANYTHING WHEN
YOU HAVEYOU HAVE
OUTSTRETCHEDOUTSTRETCHED
ARMS!ARMS!

Dear Dad:
I read your gift. Why do you do
that do me? Yes I cried. But don’t get
all suppy and mushy.
I’m forever sorry for not helping you
when you needed it. That will change.
Things can be different now. Thank
you for trying over and over again, to
be the best father that you can be. I
love you. Please hold my hand forever.
Jonathan (the music you are listening to)

““One walking in grace accepts people onOne walking in grace accepts people on
the basis of unconditional acceptance.the basis of unconditional acceptance.
This doesn’t suggest a blanket approval ofThis doesn’t suggest a blanket approval of
all behavior, but grace allows one to loveall behavior, but grace allows one to love
others regardless of their actions. Peopleothers regardless of their actions. People
influenced by the curse set out to changeinfluenced by the curse set out to change
what peoplewhat people do.do. Grace looks beyondGrace looks beyond
what others do and affirms them for whowhat others do and affirms them for who
theythey are,are, encouraging them to live up toencouraging them to live up to
their identity in Christ. People influencedtheir identity in Christ. People influenced
by the curse heap guilt and shame onby the curse heap guilt and shame on
those who fail to measure up. A graciousthose who fail to measure up. A gracious
Christian loves unconditionally.”Christian loves unconditionally.”
Grace WalkGrace Walk by Steve McVeyby Steve McVey

 20 Bill20 Bill
 Recently, the Lord gave me a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate theRecently, the Lord gave me a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate the
power of His awesome grace to one of my sons.power of His awesome grace to one of my sons.

 This son phoned me at the bookstore one day and said, "Guess what,This son phoned me at the bookstore one day and said, "Guess what,
mom... I found a $20 bill in the pocket of one of my pairs of shorts."mom... I found a $20 bill in the pocket of one of my pairs of shorts."

 Immediately I discerned that what he was telling me probably wasn't theImmediately I discerned that what he was telling me probably wasn't the
truth. But I congratulated him on finding the lost money and wetruth. But I congratulated him on finding the lost money and we
speculated that it was probably some forgotten birthday money. End ofspeculated that it was probably some forgotten birthday money. End of
phone call.phone call.

 When I hung up the phone with him I tried to remind myself to check inWhen I hung up the phone with him I tried to remind myself to check in
a drawer at home to see if a $20 bill was still there. It is a drawer thata drawer at home to see if a $20 bill was still there. It is a drawer that
the older boys know about... where my husband and I stash extra cashthe older boys know about... where my husband and I stash extra cash
for emergencies.for emergencies.

 That night I forgot to check, but a few days later I remembered and sawThat night I forgot to check, but a few days later I remembered and saw
that it was missing. My husband hadn't taken any money from it... andthat it was missing. My husband hadn't taken any money from it... and
money had never been missing before. I knew I had to talk to my son. money had never been missing before. I knew I had to talk to my son.
 What a flashback to my childhood!!What a flashback to my childhood!!

My son was from my blood, for sure. But he didn't have the desperate,My son was from my blood, for sure. But he didn't have the desperate,
driving need for money that I thought I had as a child... or did he? Idriving need for money that I thought I had as a child... or did he? I
remembered the guilt and shame... and the loss of trust with my parentsremembered the guilt and shame... and the loss of trust with my parents
as I stole time and again and was caught and disciplined for it. Ias I stole time and again and was caught and disciplined for it. I
remembered how it felt... how I knew I lost their trust so I didn't careremembered how it felt... how I knew I lost their trust so I didn't care
after awhile... Oh, no. I don't want my dear son feeling that way orafter awhile... Oh, no. I don't want my dear son feeling that way or
taking that path!taking that path!

 I brought him into a quiet room away from his brothersI brought him into a quiet room away from his brothers
and we sat down together. I told him I wanted to tell himand we sat down together. I told him I wanted to tell him
a story... and I proceeded to tell him about when I was aa story... and I proceeded to tell him about when I was a
little girl and I had taken a $10 bill from my mother'slittle girl and I had taken a $10 bill from my mother's
wallet. My mother found the money missing very shortlywallet. My mother found the money missing very shortly
afterward and was distraught. It was the only money weafterward and was distraught. It was the only money we
had for groceries that week! I felt so terrible... and Ihad for groceries that week! I felt so terrible... and I
really wanted to return the money. But how? I decidedreally wanted to return the money. But how? I decided
to make up a story to cover my sin. I went outside toto make up a story to cover my sin. I went outside to
where the sprinkler was watering the lawn and Iwhere the sprinkler was watering the lawn and I
pretended to find the money under the sprinkler. I wentpretended to find the money under the sprinkler. I went
in the house, triumphant that I had "found" the (now wet)in the house, triumphant that I had "found" the (now wet)
missing money, eager to hand it over to my distraughtmissing money, eager to hand it over to my distraught
mother and make things right again.mother and make things right again.
 Much to my dismay, I was met with an angry parent whoMuch to my dismay, I was met with an angry parent who
vowed that I was lying... that I had stolen the money...vowed that I was lying... that I had stolen the money...
and that I could never be trusted. I sank deeper into myand that I could never be trusted. I sank deeper into my
sin, believing that I might as well be what she claimed Isin, believing that I might as well be what she claimed I
was. It didn't matter anymore.was. It didn't matter anymore.
I knew that I wanted this encounter with my son to beI knew that I wanted this encounter with my son to be
very, very different. So I told him the story while holdingvery, very different. So I told him the story while holding
him in my arms and rubbing his back. Then I let himhim in my arms and rubbing his back. Then I let him
know that I was missing $20 and I asked if it wasknow that I was missing $20 and I asked if it was
possibly the $20 that he had found in his pocket. Hepossibly the $20 that he had found in his pocket. He
immediately said, "No, mom... I did find that in myimmediately said, "No, mom... I did find that in my

 I was so pleased that God was in control!!! It was at this point that I got theI was so pleased that God was in control!!! It was at this point that I got the
awesome opportunity to heal a great wrong in my life... simply by treating myawesome opportunity to heal a great wrong in my life... simply by treating my
son (in his sin) the way that I had only dreamed of being treated.son (in his sin) the way that I had only dreamed of being treated.

I said to him, "I BELIEVE you."I said to him, "I BELIEVE you."

I hugged him and sent him on his way.I hugged him and sent him on his way.
 Later that night I mentioned to him that we needed to put the $20 up on hisLater that night I mentioned to him that we needed to put the $20 up on his
"chart." We keep a running account of the younger children's money on a"chart." We keep a running account of the younger children's money on a
chart on the refrigerator. Then we keep the cash for them so they don't losechart on the refrigerator. Then we keep the cash for them so they don't lose
it. They do this by choice, and he had already given me the $20 bill the dayit. They do this by choice, and he had already given me the $20 bill the day
he had called me to say he had found it in his pocket. They usually keephe had called me to say he had found it in his pocket. They usually keep
smaller amounts in their wallets, but the bigger amounts they give back to ussmaller amounts in their wallets, but the bigger amounts they give back to us
and write up on their "account."and write up on their "account."
I had joyfully written the $20 entry on his account. I felt such peace... suchI had joyfully written the $20 entry on his account. I felt such peace... such
joy. Conviction of sin was up to the Holy Spirit alone!! I had done the onlyjoy. Conviction of sin was up to the Holy Spirit alone!! I had done the only
job required of me... I had lavished "prodigal" grace on my son.job required of me... I had lavished "prodigal" grace on my son.

I call it prodigal grace because prodigal means "reckless, lavish, wasteful." I call it prodigal grace because prodigal means "reckless, lavish, wasteful."
The father in the parable of the "prodigal son" was actually the one who wasThe father in the parable of the "prodigal son" was actually the one who was
reckless, lavish, and wasteful!! He "wasted" the fatted calf on his waywardreckless, lavish, and wasteful!! He "wasted" the fatted calf on his wayward
son; he "lavished" an undeserved gift of a robe and a ring. He recklessly ranson; he "lavished" an undeserved gift of a robe and a ring. He recklessly ran
down the road to meet him. He poured out unconditional love. Yes -- that isdown the road to meet him. He poured out unconditional love. Yes -- that is
what I lacked as a child. That is what I wanted my son, yet in hiswhat I lacked as a child. That is what I wanted my son, yet in his
unrepentant sin, to experience.unrepentant sin, to experience.

A few hours later I was preparing to read aloud a book to the boys. MyA few hours later I was preparing to read aloud a book to the boys. My
heartbroken son came into the room and burst into tears at my side. Iheartbroken son came into the room and burst into tears at my side. I
hugged him. I asked him if he would like to tell me something.hugged him. I asked him if he would like to tell me something.
 "Yes...", he stammered, "I.... I did take that money out of your drawer, Mom.""Yes...", he stammered, "I.... I did take that money out of your drawer, Mom."
What joy in my heart to see the Holy Spirit bring about the work ofWhat joy in my heart to see the Holy Spirit bring about the work of
repentance totally unhindered by me!!!repentance totally unhindered by me!!!

 I said this to him...”Oh, my dear son... I LOVE you. I am so proud ofI said this to him...”Oh, my dear son... I LOVE you. I am so proud of
you for telling me the truth. That took SO much courage. I believedyou for telling me the truth. That took SO much courage. I believed
you when you told me that you didn't take the money because I reallyyou when you told me that you didn't take the money because I really
trust you. I'm so glad I can trust you to tell me the truth. I know thattrust you. I'm so glad I can trust you to tell me the truth. I know that
was a hard thing to do.was a hard thing to do.

I do want you to know something. All that I have is yours. If you everI do want you to know something. All that I have is yours. If you ever
feel like you need money you just come and tell me. I don't ever wantfeel like you need money you just come and tell me. I don't ever want
you to feel like you have to steal.you to feel like you have to steal.

And I want you to keep that money... I don't want it back. I'm just soAnd I want you to keep that money... I don't want it back. I'm just so
glad you let the Holy Spirit work in your heart."glad you let the Holy Spirit work in your heart."
 Yes... I wanted him to keep the money. And no one else in ourYes... I wanted him to keep the money. And no one else in our
household knows what happened. I covered over his sin for a very goodhousehold knows what happened. I covered over his sin for a very good
purpose --- so that he will never forget what that kind of love feels like.purpose --- so that he will never forget what that kind of love feels like.
 I don't believe I'll ever deal with this issue with him again. And for thatI don't believe I'll ever deal with this issue with him again. And for that
very reason... it was worth it to be a prodigal mom.very reason... it was worth it to be a prodigal mom.

God's love is so radical toward us... so incredibly unbelievable!! WeGod's love is so radical toward us... so incredibly unbelievable!! We
were ungodly, we were sinners, we were enemies.were ungodly, we were sinners, we were enemies.

One will hardly die for a righteousOne will hardly die for a righteous
man; though perhaps for the goodman; though perhaps for the good
man someone would dare even toman someone would dare even to
die. But God demonstrates His owndie. But God demonstrates His own
love toward us, in that while we werelove toward us, in that while we were
yet sinners, Christ died for us.yet sinners, Christ died for us.
(Romans 5:7-8)(Romans 5:7-8)
 Won't you show a little of that "amazing grace" to your undeservingWon't you show a little of that "amazing grace" to your undeserving
child today,child today,
 HeatherHeather

Does Grace Really Work?Does Grace Really Work?
Dear Mr. Hamby,Dear Mr. Hamby,
……When our first child was born 7 years ago, IWhen our first child was born 7 years ago, I
looked and looked for Christian teaching onlooked and looked for Christian teaching on
discipline and raising godly children. I settled on adiscipline and raising godly children. I settled on a
"first-time obedience" approach that was popular."first-time obedience" approach that was popular.
My husband willingly went along with it, being asMy husband willingly went along with it, being as
uncertain as I was about how to raise godlyuncertain as I was about how to raise godly
children.children.

I carried a lot of anger and resentment toward myI carried a lot of anger and resentment toward my
children. I viewed their disobedience as a personalchildren. I viewed their disobedience as a personal
offense against me. I was exasperated by their lackoffense against me. I was exasperated by their lack
of self-control and emotions. My oldest daughter isof self-control and emotions. My oldest daughter is
very strong-willed, and her temper tantrums werevery strong-willed, and her temper tantrums were
outrageous. The tantrums were not used as a tool tooutrageous. The tantrums were not used as a tool to
get attention in public or to manipulate me, but theyget attention in public or to manipulate me, but they
were always directed at me (rarely her father)… Herwere always directed at me (rarely her father)… Her
behavior outside of the home was impeccable. Itbehavior outside of the home was impeccable. It
made it very hard to talk with anyone about thismade it very hard to talk with anyone about this
problem.problem.

No one believed there WAS a problem, or passedNo one believed there WAS a problem, or passed
it off as an isolated incident or a “stage.” And noit off as an isolated incident or a “stage.” And no
one ever, ever challenged me to remove the logone ever, ever challenged me to remove the log
in my own eye. She did not sleep well at nightin my own eye. She did not sleep well at night
since very early on. She was defiant and talkedsince very early on. She was defiant and talked
back a lot. My daughter never completed a choreback a lot. My daughter never completed a chore
without intervention from me. She waswithout intervention from me. She was
determined to have her say when corrected. Itdetermined to have her say when corrected. It
was an uphill battle all the time, and quite frankly Iwas an uphill battle all the time, and quite frankly I
didn't enjoy her at all.didn't enjoy her at all.

……I had found a discipline style that suitedI had found a discipline style that suited meme
early on...early on...butbut I had not truly searched theI had not truly searched the
scriptures to find how to reach my children’sscriptures to find how to reach my children’s
hearts. While I thought I was following God'shearts. While I thought I was following God's
lead, I realize that I had my own agenda and itlead, I realize that I had my own agenda and it
was a self-righteous one that didn't require me towas a self-righteous one that didn't require me to
change. I wasn't willing to consider that mychange. I wasn't willing to consider that my
convictions were selfish ones. I confessed myconvictions were selfish ones. I confessed my
sin to the Lord and began to show moresin to the Lord and began to show more
tenderness and self-control with my daughter. Itenderness and self-control with my daughter. I
still fell into the old ways often, though.still fell into the old ways often, though.

I could have put my name in your place. II could have put my name in your place. I
was ALWAYS correcting my daughter,was ALWAYS correcting my daughter,
ALWAYS finding fault with her endeavors,ALWAYS finding fault with her endeavors,
ALWAYS saying her name in a way thatALWAYS saying her name in a way that
implied disapproval or correction, ALWAYSimplied disapproval or correction, ALWAYS
fussing about undone chores. I had placedfussing about undone chores. I had placed
responsibility over relationship. I had a childresponsibility over relationship. I had a child
who was fearful of my correction - that's thewho was fearful of my correction - that's the
root of the sleep problem, and the reason forroot of the sleep problem, and the reason for
her unwillingness to try so many things. Iher unwillingness to try so many things. I
was not casting out fear with love.was not casting out fear with love.

……I realized that little Sarah had very little chance ofI realized that little Sarah had very little chance of
earning my approval. I stopped getting angry everyearning my approval. I stopped getting angry every
time a simple chore was left undone. I stoppedtime a simple chore was left undone. I stopped
spanking. I stopped lecturing. I started cleaning herspanking. I stopped lecturing. I started cleaning her
toys up outside without asking her to help. I wenttoys up outside without asking her to help. I went
upstairs and made her bed in the morning. Sheupstairs and made her bed in the morning. She
spent a Saturday morning with me to run errands. Ispent a Saturday morning with me to run errands. I
asked her what she wanted to do, and that's whatasked her what she wanted to do, and that's what
we did. The errands got done another day. Shewe did. The errands got done another day. She
loves flowers and gardens; I bought her a ton ofloves flowers and gardens; I bought her a ton of
seed packets and helped her plant them. She lovesseed packets and helped her plant them. She loves
to paint; I started painting with her several times ato paint; I started painting with her several times a
week. I started hanging a butterfly on her closetweek. I started hanging a butterfly on her closet
door at night after she fell asleep, so if she woke updoor at night after she fell asleep, so if she woke up
she would KNOW that I had kept my promise toshe would KNOW that I had kept my promise to
check on her. I started hugging and kissing hercheck on her. I started hugging and kissing her
intentionally.intentionally.

In a matter of days, the most remarkable thingIn a matter of days, the most remarkable thing
happened. I was doing some cleaning, and Ihappened. I was doing some cleaning, and I
asked my youngest to do a small chore, whichasked my youngest to do a small chore, which
she did willingly. Without my asking for help,she did willingly. Without my asking for help,
Sarah set about doing chores—big chores thatSarah set about doing chores—big chores that
required a lot of effort on her part. She dusted,required a lot of effort on her part. She dusted,
swept, and washed dishes. She straightenedswept, and washed dishes. She straightened
up and put things away properly. It was then Iup and put things away properly. It was then I
realized what a different child she had become.realized what a different child she had become.
She sleeps better at night. She laughs more,She sleeps better at night. She laughs more,
and she is not as angry.and she is not as angry.

She takes offenses from her younger sisterShe takes offenses from her younger sister
better. She handles disappointment with gracebetter. She handles disappointment with grace
and not anger. She says “yes ma'am” and “noand not anger. She says “yes ma'am” and “no
ma'am” consistently. She accepts myma'am” consistently. She accepts my
correction willingly and changes her behaviorcorrection willingly and changes her behavior
when necessary. She cleans up her outdoorwhen necessary. She cleans up her outdoor
toys without being told. She wants me to readtoys without being told. She wants me to read
to her now instead of just tolerating it. And bestto her now instead of just tolerating it. And best
of all, she has started talking about the thingsof all, she has started talking about the things
that are in her heart, and she wants ME to hearthat are in her heart, and she wants ME to hear
them.them.

When I started trying to disciple Sarah the wayWhen I started trying to disciple Sarah the way
Jesus would, she bloomed. She is a joy to beJesus would, she bloomed. She is a joy to be
with, and I have lost my anger and impatience.with, and I have lost my anger and impatience.
When those feelings do try and creep to theWhen those feelings do try and creep to the
surface I can label them, confess them, andsurface I can label them, confess them, and
deal with them before they control me.deal with them before they control me.
…God allows us to remember our sins, not so…God allows us to remember our sins, not so
we condemn ourselves repeatedly, but so wewe condemn ourselves repeatedly, but so we
can show others what he has delivered uscan show others what he has delivered us
from. …Our God is a GREAT God.from. …Our God is a GREAT God.

“…“…to turn the hearts of theto turn the hearts of the
fathers to the children, andfathers to the children, and
the disobedient to thethe disobedient to the
wisdom of the just, to makewisdom of the just, to make
ready a people prepared forready a people prepared for
the Lord.”the Lord.”
Luke 1:17Luke 1:17

Jesus looked so wearyJesus looked so weary
From the worries of the dayFrom the worries of the day
But the look of His face lightedBut the look of His face lighted
When the children came his wayWhen the children came his way
But before He could reach out to themBut before He could reach out to them
And join them in their playAnd join them in their play
His grown up band of followersHis grown up band of followers
Told the kids to go away.Told the kids to go away.
Let The Children Come
By Michael Card

Chorus:Chorus:
Let the children comeLet the children come
Don’t dare drive them awayDon’t dare drive them away
In them the kingdom comesIn them the kingdom comes
Hear the holy, foolish things they sayHear the holy, foolish things they say
The springtime of their life decidesThe springtime of their life decides
The adults they’ll becomeThe adults they’ll become
So let the children,So let the children,
Please let the children come.Please let the children come.

A bruised reed he shall notA bruised reed he shall not
break, and smoking flaxbreak, and smoking flax
shall he not quench…shall he not quench…
Matthew 12:20Matthew 12:20
 (prisoners)(prisoners)

The golden gift of childhood lastsThe golden gift of childhood lasts
A lifetime if you tryA lifetime if you try
The simple trusting faith they ownThe simple trusting faith they own
Keeps the scholars mystifiedKeeps the scholars mystified
And so the Lord adopts usAnd so the Lord adopts us
As His daughters and His sonsAs His daughters and His sons
For the kingdom is for childrenFor the kingdom is for children
So, please let the children come.So, please let the children come.

During the Peloponnesian War,During the Peloponnesian War,
Thucydides wrote,Thucydides wrote,
““There is no need to supposeThere is no need to suppose
that human beings differ verythat human beings differ very
much one from another:much one from another:
but it is true that the ones whobut it is true that the ones who
come out on top are the onescome out on top are the ones
who have been trainedwho have been trained
in the hardest school.”in the hardest school.”

““Though he were a son, yetThough he were a son, yet
learned he obedience bylearned he obedience by
the things which hethe things which he
suffered.”suffered.”
Hebrews 5:8Hebrews 5:8

Take my yoke upon youTake my yoke upon you
and learn of me; for I amand learn of me; for I am
meek and lowly in heart:meek and lowly in heart:
and you shall find rest untoand you shall find rest unto
your souls.your souls.
Matthew 11:29Matthew 11:29

Fund DevelopmentFund Development
CounselCounsel
Dear Mr. Hamby,
I just wanted to express my gratitude. Teddy’s Button has
captivated my class of 4th graders like no other book I’ve ever read.
I’ve prayed with two of them that WERE Christians to “become
true soldiers” and it does such a clear job of expressing the true war
we are in. Thank you for finding and restoring this treasure!!
God Bless you, Betsy Linnell
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mark,
I just went through your latest Lamplighter and felt inspired to
write...you! On behalf of my wife and nine children (ranging in
ages from 21 to 2), I would like to thank you for the high quality
(academic, spiritual, and [even] graphic) books you publish.
Please be encouraged in your efforts.
Sincerely, Craig Funston

Two Warnings:
1. Eph 6:4 – provoke not
- proximity, alongside, lit. from side of.
- to be passionate, enrage, to anger
(from root word orgy - violent passions and
perverted sexual relationships) abhorrence,
vengeance, wrath, punishment.
Remedy: bring them up –
to nurture, rearing to maturity, to cherish, train,
nourish, reference to nursing.

Two Warnings:
1.Col 3:21 – provoke not
(root word ) to stimulate, irritate, embitter,
rouse to anger or fight, to be quarrelsome,
perverse, to make resentful, to stir up for combat,
i.e. to excite a bull for the arena.
- a child frequently irritated by over-
severity or injustice to which, nevertheless, must
submit, acquires a spirit of sullen resignation
leading to despair. (Abbott)

Two Warnings:
Lest they be discouraged:
from the root word - passion, fierce
indignation, breathe hard, smoke, slaughter,
sacrifice, kill, slay.
- negative particle that denotes without
passion, spiritless.

Progressive Warning and
Consequence:
In Ephesians, there is a warning with a
remedy.
The child has a spirit to fight back.
In Colossians, there is a warning with
consequences.
The child has lost his spirit.

“Fathers should not, therefore, drive
their children to exasperation or
resentment. This would rule out
excessive discipline, unreasonable
hard demands, arbitrariness, constant
nagging and condemnation, and any
gross insensitivity to children’s
sensibilities that would break their
spirit and make them listless and
unresponsive.”

Expected Behavior-
Stress & Anxiety-
Boredom-
10
12
14
16
18
20
10 12 14 16 18 20Age
STRESS
BOREDOM

Two JourneysTwo Journeys
Compulsatory
Self Protective
Journey 1
Journey 2
Other Governed Existence
(Problem Focus Approach)
Christ Governed Existence
(Person Focus Approach)
Self Governing
Existence
Christ Centered
Existence

““The Lord is merciful and gracious, slowThe Lord is merciful and gracious, slow
to anger, and plenteous in mercy.”to anger, and plenteous in mercy.”
““He hath not dealt with us after our sins;He hath not dealt with us after our sins;
nor rewarded us according to ournor rewarded us according to our
iniquities.”iniquities.”
““Like as a father has compassion on hisLike as a father has compassion on his
children, so the Lord has compassion onchildren, so the Lord has compassion on
them that fear him.”them that fear him.”
Psalm 103:8, 10, 13Psalm 103:8, 10, 13

Just wanted to let you know I finished reading "Giant Killer" to
my kids last weekend and started Basket of Flowers Sunday
Night. We are really enjoying these books. Last night my kids
had the choice of watching a half an hour of TV, playing video
games for half an hour or having me read an extra half an hour to
them and they chose reading a Lamplighter book. They knew I
was going to read to them at bedtime anyway, but still chose the
extra half hour of "story time". I was very excited to have my 9, 7,
5 and one of our neighbors kids (also 5) all want to sit around my
living room while I read a couple chapters of Basket of Flowers. If
they could have stayed awake, we would have read until
midnight. They love this book and so do I. Your ministry is having
a tremendous, positive effect on me and my family. Grace is
flourishing in our home.
George

Dear Mark:
I will tell you that my children love the lamplighter
books. Thursday, I had a day off from work and we
read most of The Little Lamb together on the couch. I
think I had intended to read a couple chapters, but the
children kept saying “another chapter, please!”, so we
kept reading. It was a wonderful relationship building
day. So, I see the immense value these books hold.
Anything that can keep a 5 year old daughter snuggled
by her daddy on the couch is a wonderful thing!
Jason Southerland

The Hidden Hand reveals every emotion known to
mankind. The reader follows anxiously after the
adventures of Capitola to see what lies ahead.
The saddest part of this book is when you
discover there are no more pages to read!
Mark, I can’t see how a movie based on this book
would not be a big success! Go for it!!
JR

As an avid reader and a professional educator for 35
years, I found myself with a renewed passion for the
impact of great literature. In four days, I read five of
them. I was addicted to these books. I was so inspired
that I called Lamplighter to talk with someone who
could understand what this experience was like.
I find myself unable to stop.
I introduced my 82-year-old mother and she is reading
non-stop. I found myself jealous of her.
It is easy to become spiritually weary in Christian service.
These books have spiritually revitalized me.
Dr. Carolyn Brock,, Houston, TX

June 6, 2005
Dear Mr. Hamby,
In February of this year you visited the CHALC graduating class of Lancaster,
PA. I was so impressed by what you said about your books that I purchased all
fourteen sets. All four of my children have been reading them, but my daughter,
I believe, has been affected by them more than my three sons.
Writing has always been difficult for my daughter because of her dyslexia;
however, depth of thought has always been present. Lately, I have noticed that
her writing has changed. The way she words her thoughts on every
composition piece reminds me of writings of people from way back in the 1800s.
One day I asked her, “This writing is good, Jen, how do you do this?”
Her answer amazed me, and you would have chuckled to see her. With
shoulders square and lifted, she stretched her 17-year-old, five-foot frame, loftily
tiled her nose to the sky, closed her eyes purposefully, and pressed her
fingertips deeply into her chest. With an unquestionable finality, she answered,
“I (and she tossed her head backward) read Lamplighter books!”
I showed Jen’s latest compositioning to her writing teacher. She, too, noticed
the change and became very enthusiastic about guiding Jen to develop this new
found talent. I have no doubt that Jen will take her writing places that no one
ever dreamed she had the ability to go. Thanks, Mr. Hamby!
Jen’s very pleased mother,
Dora Messner

Dear Mark,
My wife and I read The Hidden Hand to each other
over a two-week period, and we both agree that it is one
of the finest books we have ever read. As a follower of
Jesus Christ, I was especially encouraged by the
providence of God that is "seen" throughout the book,
thus the title. The divine appointments of the Spirit-led
life make me smile and give me great joy.
God bless you, Mark, and your ministry. Thank
you for the treasure of The Hidden Hand!
In Christ, Bill Ketts (Jeremiah 10:23)

Sarah Edwards knew how to make her children regard and
obey her cheerfully, without loud angry words, much less
heavy blows. She seldom punished them, and in speaking to
them, used gentle and pleasant words. If any correction was
necessary, she did not administer it in passion; when she had
occasion to reprove and rebuke she would do it in few
words, without noise; she had need to speak but once; she
was cheerfully obeyed because she convinced her children of the
reasonableness of her request; murmuring and answer again were
not known among them. The kind and gentle treatment they
received from their mother, while she strictly and
punctiliously maintained her parental authority, seemed
naturally to…promote a filial respect and affection, and to
lead them to a mild, tender treatment of each other.
Quarrelling and contention, which too frequently take place
among children, were in her family unknown.

She carefully observed the first appearance of
resentment and ill will in her young children…
showed her displeasure and suppressed it to the
uttermost; yet not by angry, wrathful words, which
often provoke children to wrath…Her system of
discipline was begun at a very early age and it was
her rule to resist the first, as well as every
subsequent exhibition of temper or disobedience in
the child…wisely reflecting that until a child will obey
his parents he can never be brought to obey God.
Samuel Hopkins, in Marriage to a Difficult Man, the Uncommon
Union of Jonathan and Sarah Edwards.

Hello Mark,
In January of 2006 I ordered sixteen books to increase our
Lamplighter library. Within a week I read six books. The next
week I read another six. The impact these books had on my life
was astounding. I felt myself draw closer to our Almighty God
and experienced His love and grace through these powerful
stories. My character also became more Christ-like through the
inspiration of the characters in the books. Mary and her father
(The Basket of Flowers), Gertie (The Lamplighter), and Musdale
and Daddy Ragsdale (The Open Door) have inspired me to be a
more devoted Christ follower, more appreciative of my husband
with an increased desire to meet his needs, and more sensitive,
compassionate and loving towards our children. Thank you for
making these books available to us and the countless others in
the world. May God bless you as you forward His Kingdom.
Appreciatively,
Terra

Dear Lamplighter,
I am 12 years old and wanted to express my feelings
towards The Hidden Hand, Ishmael and Self-Raised. The
Hidden Hand is the best book I have ever read. All the
suspense, humor, action and godliness make it #1 on my
list. I was absolutely inspired by this book. I also was
captivated by the purity, humbleness, and servant-heart of
Ishmael. I could not put it down. These three books have
influenced me and my parents greatly. I am sure they will
be in the library in heaven!
One of your many fans,
Michelle
P.S. I lent The Hidden Hand to my grandfather who is
recovering from heart surgery. Reading the book led to a
spiritual renewal in his life. He has since bought 2 copies for
his brother and sister!

Mark,
I just felt the need to drop you a note of thanks today for your and Lamplighter
Publishing's efforts with the Rare Collector books. The first book we ever purchased
was "Teddy's Button" a few years back at the NCHE conference in Winston Salem, NC.
We read this book as a family. As a pastor, I also had many in my church read this
book. For the past several years, my wife and I have been purchasing Rare Collector
books for our children's personal libraries when they are ready to leave home. I have
read many of these books that we purchased for them. I told my wife they are going to
have to leave those books in my home and visit us in order to read them. Two of the
books that I read recently were "Ishmael" and "Self-Raised." I have this morning
finished reading "Self-Raised." I am so glad I bought both of these books together. As
soon as I finished "Ishmael," I began reading "Self-Raised." That book caused a flood
of emotions to arise from my heart. At one point, you find yourself nearly in tears, and
then at other times, you are nearly laughing aloud. Those books are so suspenseful
and at the same time weave a biblical message. To me, it is a story of perseverance as
Ishmael faces adversity, but with God's help, there is absolutely nothing that he cannot
accomplish. Young people today need role models such as Ishmael Worth, who live life
according to the Word of God and depend upon Him for every need.
I have never read a bad Rare Collector book. To be honest, it is hard to label
one as better than the others. I cannot wait to begin another one of these wonderful
books. I am not sure where you guys find such books to publish, but please keep up
the good work.
God bless you and Lamplighter Publishing, ,Pastor Jeff McCann, NC

Susan,
We received the order just this morning, and my son and I
have already read the Hedge of Thorns; we could not wait!
We were so pleased to find the story to be everything we
have heard and read about.   What a blessing!   Additionally,
the embossed book covers are exquisite!   We are looking
forward to collecting more wonderful works of your Christian
literature for our son's library.   Hence, I have also found a
wonderful gift idea for my great nieces and nephews!

What a blessing you are to all of the families who want
character-building literature for their children!   The
contemporary writings found in the local bookstores ( I loathe
to call it "literature") are simply frightening.   Thanks to all of
the staff at Lamplighter for seeking and answering the need
for quality literature for the families of this country, when our
country is so aimlessly wandering further and further from the
teachings of our Great God.   God bless everyone at
Lamplighter Publishing!

Sincerely, Colleen

Dear Mr. Hamby,
I started reading The Hidden Hand last night and stayed up
until three o'clock in the morning reading because I simply
could not put it down. I finished it the next day. The Hidden
Hand is on my top list of favorite books. I would love to be
more like role models in this book. They have also improved
my writing style and my vocabulary…
Rachel
“My wife and I read the Hidden Hand and believe it is the
finest book we’ve ever read!” Bill
“Not only was I profoundly moved, but half way through
Ishmael, I set the book aside so I could savor it a little longer.
I did not have the same self control with its sequel, Self
Raised. Thank you for offering these literary gems. I continue
to recommend these to books to everyone.” Nicole

My 14 year old daughter's life has
been extremely transformed as a
result of "The Lamplighter", House
of Love, The Wide Wide World, and
countless others. We value these
books more than our food. No joke.
Thanks a million!!!
About My Father's Business,
Joan

Dear Mr. Hamby,Dear Mr. Hamby,
I have read a handful of books in the LamplighterI have read a handful of books in the Lamplighter
Rare Collector Series and have not beenRare Collector Series and have not been
disappointed yet! My children also have loveddisappointed yet! My children also have loved
each book we have read. My all-time favorite haseach book we have read. My all-time favorite has
been Helen’s Temper. I have two girls who arebeen Helen’s Temper. I have two girls who are
very similar to Betty and Louisa; this was evidentvery similar to Betty and Louisa; this was evident
after finishing the book when one daughter shedafter finishing the book when one daughter shed
an obligatory tear and the other cried for nearlyan obligatory tear and the other cried for nearly
and hour. It has been a great tool to remind them,and hour. It has been a great tool to remind them,
as well as myself, to check our attitudes. Are weas well as myself, to check our attitudes. Are we
being a Betty or Louisa? As a family we arebeing a Betty or Louisa? As a family we are
enjoying each book tremendously.enjoying each book tremendously.
Sincerely,Sincerely,
J. C.J. C.

Jonathan:
I'll try to keep it short but it will be difficult. To say I am sorry does not express what I would like to
say to you. I do not know a word that can properly reveal my anguish of heart. To treat you as I
have I feel so blind; rather retarded, and totally numb.
That's a good description; insensitive; controlling (nothing new),
miserable (especially during Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I don’t know why! Stress,
pressure…). There are a host of words I can choose. you get the picture.
My desire for you to turn out godly and My desire for you to
succeed, but this has outweighed my unconditional love for you. This is not good and has been the
source of conflict. My desire is also called blind selfishness. Jonathan, if you turn out ok it will be a
miracle! I have been so damaging to you. Someone should have given me a powerful sleeping pill
and woken me up after you had children. Now, before you think I am the only one guilty in all of
this, you know better. Some of your actions and words have been very provocative. However, if
you can begin to see a real change in me, you will know that you too can have victory by God's
grace. Son, I am determined by God's grace that you are about to experience the father that you
dreamed for. Now I know that it is easy to say these things but I am beginning to understanding
something that I didn't understand before. I have been fighting you, when I should have been
praying for you. I have been responding in anger when you needed understanding. I, I, I , I , I have
fallen….but a just man falls down seven times and rises again. I am determined by God’s grace to
rise so you will have a father to follow. May your heart heal and may your spirit experience
unshackled freedom. I am committed to just being there for you when you need me. No judgment,
no nothing (unless you get an earring or tatoo! that might
get things stirred a little!):) In closing one finance lesson: you need to accumulate assetts. The only
assett to your name is your first album. worth about 4,000 today. Do another one and you double
it! simple math. let me know if you want to do this over Christmas.
I love you, Dad

“Within a week I read six Lamplighter books. The next week I
read another six. The impact these books had on my life was
astounding. Terra”
“I intended to read a couple chapters of Little Lamb, but the
children kept saying “another chapter, please!” It was a
wonderful relationship building day. I see the immense value
these books hold. Anything that can keep a 5 year old
daughter snuggled by her daddy on the couch is pure gold!
Jason”
“Lamplighter books are having a tremendous effect on me and
my family. Grace is flourishing in our home. George”
“My wife and I read the Hidden Hand and believe it is the finest
book we’ve ever read!” Bill

“I was profoundly touched by the book True to the Last. I
COULD NOT put it down. When I finished, I was sobbing.
My prayer after reading this was, “Lord, make me more like
you...”
“Dear Lamplighter: I am at my desk at work and I am in
tears. It’s more than I could describe.
Lamplighter, Every teenager in the world needs to read
Hand on the Bridle…if I had read that when I was a young
teen it would have changed the direction of my life!
The book White Knights is the best book for boys we have
ever found. In fact, we are writing parts of the story on their
bedroom walls! Thank you for supplying us with godly role
models!

“Dear Mark, I wanted you to know that my 7-year-old
daughter prayed that the Good Shepherd would find her
after she listened to A Peep Behind the Scenes. Two
weeks later she came to us and said the Good Shepherd
had found her. So I can say first hand that the Lord is using
the stories to draw people to himself.”
“Dear Mr. Hamby, Lamplighter’s ministry of building
character one story at a time has been greatly used by God.
The Lamplighter books and dramas have had a huge effect
on our family.”
“Mark, we’re listening to Lamplighter Theatre and we’re
hanging on every word as well as moved to tears. We hope
and pray that God provides the resources necessary to
keep this part of your ministry going - it’s a great blessing!”

 Tasting the Miracles Tasting the Miracles
 My brothers and sisters in Christ, I invite you to join me behind the scenes toMy brothers and sisters in Christ, I invite you to join me behind the scenes to
experience the miracles. This is about much more thanexperience the miracles. This is about much more than
books, seminars, dramas, radio, and the Guild. Children are coming to Christ andbooks, seminars, dramas, radio, and the Guild. Children are coming to Christ and
adults are learning to endure adversity as God's assignment for trueadults are learning to endure adversity as God's assignment for true
transformation. Missionaries in Muslim countries are being encouraged, tribes intransformation. Missionaries in Muslim countries are being encouraged, tribes in
Uganda are sitting around the radio hearing the uniqueness of Christ's law of love,Uganda are sitting around the radio hearing the uniqueness of Christ's law of love,
children in Singapore are learning to speak English while at the same time learningchildren in Singapore are learning to speak English while at the same time learning
that they need a Savior, women in India are finding hope as they're rescued fromthat they need a Savior, women in India are finding hope as they're rescued from
despair, parents are learning that humility is the foundation for authority, and sodespair, parents are learning that humility is the foundation for authority, and so
much more . . . so much more! My desire is to keep filling the pots with water andmuch more . . . so much more! My desire is to keep filling the pots with water and
serving our best to the world so that they can learn about the one who is stillserving our best to the world so that they can learn about the one who is still
turning ordinary pots into vessels of celebration. Would you prayerfully considerturning ordinary pots into vessels of celebration. Would you prayerfully consider
serving with us? How, you ask? Here are four ways you can be involved:serving with us? How, you ask? Here are four ways you can be involved:
 Introduce Lamplighter Ministries to your church leadership to see if they wouldIntroduce Lamplighter Ministries to your church leadership to see if they would
make Lamplighter books and audios available for their congregation.make Lamplighter books and audios available for their congregation.
ContactRoger@lamplighter.net. Help us find corporate and individual sponsors toContactRoger@lamplighter.net. Help us find corporate and individual sponsors to
produce the next Lamplighter Theatre drama.produce the next Lamplighter Theatre drama.
Contact Beecher@lamplighter.net. Provide a full or partial scholarship to enable aContact Beecher@lamplighter.net. Provide a full or partial scholarship to enable a
student who needs financial help to attend the Guild.student who needs financial help to attend the Guild.
Contact Beecher@lamplighter.net with questions. Ask about becoming aContact Beecher@lamplighter.net with questions. Ask about becoming a
Lamplighter representative at conferences, churches, schools, bookstores, andLamplighter representative at conferences, churches, schools, bookstores, and
libraries. Contact Roger@lamplighter.net. libraries. Contact Roger@lamplighter.net.

God’s judgment is to theGod’s judgment is to the
33rdrd
and 4and 4thth
generation; hisgeneration; his
mercy is to a 1000mercy is to a 1000
generations!generations!
Ex 34:7; Deut 7:9Ex 34:7; Deut 7:9

Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with
Mom and you. I have been finding real connection with Stacy and she is
so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings',
and the fact that she is much older than I am.
She really is perfect for me and she told me that she would like to start a
family right away.


Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I ready to take on this responsibility.
Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to
know your grandchildren.
                                Love, Your Son,
                                          John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's
house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life
than the report
card, that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.

Perspective

Strong willed parent!

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