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Parenting an anxious child

Parenting an anxious child



Parenting in itself is a challange, and can be more challangeing if your child suffers from any of the anxiety disorders. This is a part of the fellow lecture series delivered by the author on 3/9/12. ...

Parenting in itself is a challange, and can be more challangeing if your child suffers from any of the anxiety disorders. This is a part of the fellow lecture series delivered by the author on 3/9/12. This presentation discusses the strategies for parenting an anxious child.



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    Parenting an anxious child Parenting an anxious child Presentation Transcript

    • Parenting anAnxious ChildWhat parents should knowFellow Lecture SeriesMarch 9th 2011Pallav Pareek M.D.
    • Freeing Your Child From Anxiety byTamar E Chansky Ph.DHelping Your Anxious Child (A step bystep guide for parents) Rapee et.alYour Anxious Child : John S DaceyHandbook of Clinical Family Therapy
    •  Anxiety is an expected, normal and transient response to stress; it may be a necessary cue for adaptation, and coping What makes it pathological?a) Autonomy: No/minimal recognizable triggerb) Intensity: exceeds pt’s capacity to bearc) Duration: persistent rather than transientd) Behavior: avoidance or withdrawal
    •  NO !!!! Anxiety (abnormal) results from unknown internal stimulus or excessive response to the external stimulus While Fear is sense of dread and foreboding that occurs in response to an external threatening event.
    • Simple Phobia, Social Phobia, AgoraphobiaPanic Disorder, Generalized Anxiety DisorderSeparation Anxiety DisorderPost Traumatic Stress Disorder, OCD
    •  Harder to calm themselves Usually above average creativity, they can’t use this creativity in coping Even with a good plan: get discouraged/quit easily Fail to recognize their success
    •  Reassurance is a natural parental response to a child’s distress No reassurance » alone & insecure Children with anxiety: ask for reassurance far more often » VICIOUS cycle If the heavens are falling: no amount of kisses and hugs are too much, but for an excessive unjustified fear » child learns a wrong message
    •  Often it feels: “They could do it only if they tried a little harder” & it’s not easy NOT to become angry or frustrated on your anxious child Anger More fright & anxiety
    •  COPE method Calming the nervous system Originating an imaginative plan Persisting in the face of obstacles Evaluating and adjusting the plan
    •  Stressful Situation Fight/Flight Hard wired human response We should not elicit the FF response for every trivial situation Ways to calm the nervous sytema) Abdominal Breath Controlb) Sensory awareness :know your orangec) Personal Punching Pillow: Ventd) Know your heart Ratee) Paradoxical Paradigm (witch hairy, scary witch)f) Scale the fearsg) Link it to an ouch (rubber-band around wrist)
    •  Vertical vs. lateral thinking Writing stories (completion) Functional freedom (uses of brick) Mindless activities (don’t use in OCD) You be me Empty Chair Successive approximation
    •  Identify the problems It’s not scary after all. Glorify well intentioned mistakes Model moderate risk taking Negative vs Positive thoughts (write them down) We got your back…
    •  Plans are fluid Let them have feedback on their own (photos/videos) Charting success Pretest vs post test
    •  Pass on your own fears. Letting them face challenges is better than overprotection Leave perfectionism for your own self ALWAYS REMEMBER Reflective listening is the key !!!!
    •  Based on the Cool Kids Program, developed by Ronald Rapee Ph.D. and group at Macquarie University Sydney AUS.
    •  Based on Cognitive therapy principles Event “Iam waiting to be picked up from school, mom is late” Thought : She could be dead Evidence: its been only 10 minutes, (?) traffic, she was late twice before (never died), other kids are still there (not all parents could be dead) Reorganized Realistic thought: She is running late, and will arrive soon
    •  Rewarding Brave, non anxious behavior (no matter how small a bravery: start from there) Ignoring behaviors you don’t want Modeling brave, non-anxious behavior
    •  Be Consistent (more so for an anxious child) Keep your emotions in check Distinguish between anxious and naughty: even if anxious some behaviors are not pardonable Removal of privileges Natural consequences are sometimes the best teachers
    •  The MASTERPLAN1) Empathize what your child is feeling2) Re-label the problems (anxieties) as the worry brain3) Rewire, act with smarts not with fears4) Get body on board: deactivate alarms5) Refocus: on what we need to do6) Reinforce your child’s efforts at fighting
    •  Anxiety Disorders Association of America http://www.adaa.org/ Worry Wise Kids : http://www.worrywisekids.org/parents/paren ting_child.html The Child Anxiety Network http://www.childanxiety.net/ Cool Kids Program Sydney Australia: http://www.kidsmatter.edu.au/primary/progr ams-guide/cool-kids-school-version/
    •  St. Louis Behavioral medicine Institute : 1129 Macklind Ave. Phone: 314-534-0200 http://www.slbmi.com/ Dr. Jennifer L Abel (Psychologist specializing in Anxiety disorders) 314 -721-7201 http://www.anxietystlouispsycholog ist.com/ Family Resource center 3rd floor in St. Louis Children’s Hospital : 314- 454-2350 http://www.stlouischildrens.org/con tent/familyresourcecenter.htm Center for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, St. Louis, Inc 314-576- 4900 http://site.cbt-stl.com/
    • When I wasyoung, Iadmired cleverpeople. Nowthat I am old, Iadmire kindpeople.~AbrahamJoshua Heschel