CHRISTIAN HOME 3 Nirmal Nathan
<ul><li>PREPARATION FOR MARRIED LIFE : </li></ul><ul><li>Chaste life today (2 Tim 2:22, 1 Tim 5:2) </li></ul><ul><li>Marri...
<ul><li>I  ‘ Marriage ’ = Covenant family =  </li></ul><ul><li>LORD + Husband + Wife.  </li></ul><ul><li>II ‘ Adultery ’ =...
FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL
WHERE DO CHILDREN FIT IN ? <ul><li>NEW BOUNDARIES </li></ul>
NEW BOUNDARIES   PARENTS PARENTS IN LAW JOB /  BUSINESS / MINISTRY CHILDREN HUSBAND & WIFE GOD  SEPARATION FROM OLD TIES ‘...
HONOUR YOUR PARENTS
<ul><li>UNDERSTAND INDIVIDUAL DIFFERENCES  </li></ul>REPAIR WORK Men and women are different.   Understanding the differen...
<ul><li>MAN  -  WOMAN </li></ul><ul><li>Logical Thinker  -  Emotional Feeler </li></ul><ul><li>Needs a Good Listener  -  N...
<ul><li>God made woman  </li></ul><ul><li>not from man’s heard - to dominate him; </li></ul><ul><li>nor from his foot - to...
WISE ? SOLOMON !
RESPONSIBILITIES OF HUSBAND
<ul><li>The Priest of the family – the church at home </li></ul><ul><li>Provider for the family </li></ul><ul><li>Lover of...
WIFE THEN & NOW
  RESPONSIBILITIES OF WIFE Role model (Pro 31) ‘ Suitable helper’ =  surrounds husband Encourager Companion Comforter Sobe...
YOU KNOW WHY MEN BECAME BALD !
RESPONSIBILITIES OF WIFE <ul><li>SUPPORTING </li></ul><ul><li>CRITIQUE   </li></ul><ul><li>VS </li></ul><ul><li>NAGGING </...
RESPONSIBILITIES OF BOTH <ul><li>Matthew 19:3-12 </li></ul><ul><li>PERMANENCY - FIDELITY, PURITY   </li></ul><ul><li>Some ...
 
MYSTERY PASSAGE <ul><li>Ephesians 5:21 - 25; 28-32 </li></ul><ul><li>HUSBAND – LOVE ! </li></ul><ul><li>WIFE – HONOUR AND ...
PAY  ATTENTION
Communication & Caring <ul><li>“ Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you,  in order to bring praise to God” ...
Communication & Caring <ul><li>Accept. Do not confuse with “agree.” You can accept without agreeing.  </li></ul><ul><li>Sp...
CONFLICT-SOLVING <ul><li>“ Be ye angry and sin not; let not the sun set upon your wrath” (Eph 4:26, KJV).  </li></ul><ul><...
CONFLICT-SOLVING <ul><li>Recognise the four styles of handling conflict. Which is yours? Your spouse?  </li></ul><ul><li>A...
CONFLICT-SOLVING <ul><li>Work towards “resolve” (win-win),  </li></ul><ul><li>if not possible,  </li></ul><ul><li>then wor...
HOW DO YOU FACE CONFLICTS ? YIELD  RESOLVE  COMPROMISE  WITHDRAW  WIN HIGH IN ACHIEVED NEEDS LOW IN ACHIEVED NEEDS LOW CON...
CONFLICT-SOLVING <ul><li>Use “I” (how I feel) rather than “you” (what you have done) language. “You always…” or “You never...
CONFLICT-SOLVING <ul><li>Deal with the issue; don’t attack the person. Kick the ball, not the leg. Keep the main issue the...
CONFLICT-SOLVING <ul><li>Pray together. Nothing humbles us like coming into the presence of the Lord. Cultivate a habit of...
RESULT – REDEMPTION OF FAMILY <ul><li>Redemption  is experienced - families live the redeemed life of love, forgiveness, r...
RESPONSIBILITIES OF PARENTS <ul><li>BRINGING UP CHILDREN: </li></ul><ul><li>Genesis 1:28   “Be fruitful and multiply”  Chi...
PARENTING
CHILDREN <ul><li>God’s  and not yours </li></ul><ul><li>Prayer of Manoah </li></ul><ul><li>Instructions ‘in the LORD’ </li...
DANGER  <ul><li>CAUTION: </li></ul><ul><li>Ministry first to the family.  If not </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Family may be  hurt...
ESSENTIAL FOR BLESSING   OF THE FAMILY   (PS 128): <ul><li>Meaningful touch </li></ul><ul><li>Encouraging words </li></ul>...
KEY QUESTION <ul><li>Relationship – Does the way we relate to our spouse and to our children reflect God’s characteristics...
TELL YOUR WIFE / HUSBAND   <ul><li>Next to God, you are the most important person in my life.  </li></ul>
TELL YOUR WIFE / HUSBAND <ul><li>2. I accept you as you are, and forgive you any wrong you do.   (“Accept one another… jus...
TELL YOUR WIFE / HUSBAND <ul><li>I share your burden and  </li></ul><ul><li>listen to your heart.  </li></ul><ul><li>(“Car...
TELL YOUR WIFE / HUSBAND <ul><li>I am your servant-leader, and work for your best interests.  </li></ul><ul><li>(“Submit t...
TELL YOUR WIFE / HUSBAND <ul><li>I am committed to you for as long as I live.  </li></ul><ul><li>(“Therefore what God has ...
TELL YOUR WIFE / HUSBAND <ul><li>6. Next to God, you are the most important person in my life.  </li></ul>
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Christian family life 3 of 4

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Covenant relationship of a Christian family

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  1. 1. CHRISTIAN HOME 3 Nirmal Nathan
  2. 2. <ul><li>PREPARATION FOR MARRIED LIFE : </li></ul><ul><li>Chaste life today (2 Tim 2:22, 1 Tim 5:2) </li></ul><ul><li>Marriage only to a ‘Believer’ (2 Cor 6:14-18) </li></ul><ul><li>Choice of God Vs Choice of man, ABCDEF ….. G </li></ul><ul><li>Compatible appropriate age </li></ul><ul><li>Caste (Gal 3:28) </li></ul><ul><li>Dowry- the example of Abraham ( Gen 24) </li></ul><ul><li>Priority of character (Pro 31:10-31) </li></ul><ul><li>Inner beauty Vs external beauty (Pro 30) </li></ul><ul><li>True beauty (1 Pet 3:3-4) </li></ul>BLESSINGS OF PSALM 128
  3. 3. <ul><li>I ‘ Marriage ’ = Covenant family = </li></ul><ul><li>LORD + Husband + Wife. </li></ul><ul><li>II ‘ Adultery ’ = </li></ul><ul><li>Relationship in contravention of covenant </li></ul>CHRISTIAN HOME / LIFE STYLE
  4. 4. FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL
  5. 5. WHERE DO CHILDREN FIT IN ? <ul><li>NEW BOUNDARIES </li></ul>
  6. 6. NEW BOUNDARIES PARENTS PARENTS IN LAW JOB / BUSINESS / MINISTRY CHILDREN HUSBAND & WIFE GOD SEPARATION FROM OLD TIES ‘ FOR THIS REASON MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS PARENTS…’ (tho’ not severance). NO ENCROACHMENT !
  7. 7. HONOUR YOUR PARENTS
  8. 8. <ul><li>UNDERSTAND INDIVIDUAL DIFFERENCES </li></ul>REPAIR WORK Men and women are different. Understanding the differences helps men understand their wives, and vice-versa. Some differences are:
  9. 9. <ul><li>MAN - WOMAN </li></ul><ul><li>Logical Thinker - Emotional Feeler </li></ul><ul><li>Needs a Good Listener - Needs Response </li></ul><ul><li>Needs to be Admired - Needs to be Loved </li></ul><ul><li>Tends to Forget - Tends to Remind or Nag </li></ul><ul><li>Gives Generalities - Gives Details </li></ul><ul><li>Tends to be insensitive - Tends to Take Things Personally </li></ul><ul><li>Stands Back and Evaluates - Reacts Intuitively </li></ul><ul><li>Can be Nomadic - Must have Roots for Security </li></ul>CHRISTIAN HOME
  10. 10. <ul><li>God made woman </li></ul><ul><li>not from man’s heard - to dominate him; </li></ul><ul><li>nor from his foot - to be subservient to him </li></ul><ul><li>but from his side - to be loved and cherished by him. </li></ul>RESPONSIBILITIES OF HUSBAND
  11. 11. WISE ? SOLOMON !
  12. 12. RESPONSIBILITIES OF HUSBAND
  13. 13. <ul><li>The Priest of the family – the church at home </li></ul><ul><li>Provider for the family </li></ul><ul><li>Lover of family </li></ul><ul><li>Enabler of growth of individual family members </li></ul><ul><li>Wife is his glory (1 Cor 11:7) </li></ul><ul><li>Protects with life </li></ul><ul><li>Equal with wife and yet leader of the family (1 Tim 3:5) </li></ul><ul><li>Role model for the children </li></ul>RESPONSIBILITIES OF HUSBAND
  14. 14. WIFE THEN & NOW
  15. 15. RESPONSIBILITIES OF WIFE Role model (Pro 31) ‘ Suitable helper’ = surrounds husband Encourager Companion Comforter Sobering effect on husband Administrator of family Rejoices at husband’s glory Husband is her glory Equal with husband and yet submits like her husband does
  16. 16. YOU KNOW WHY MEN BECAME BALD !
  17. 17. RESPONSIBILITIES OF WIFE <ul><li>SUPPORTING </li></ul><ul><li>CRITIQUE </li></ul><ul><li>VS </li></ul><ul><li>NAGGING </li></ul><ul><li>FAULT FINDER </li></ul>
  18. 18. RESPONSIBILITIES OF BOTH <ul><li>Matthew 19:3-12 </li></ul><ul><li>PERMANENCY - FIDELITY, PURITY </li></ul><ul><li>Some of the O.T. concepts are reiterated and confirmed by Jesus, with the added emphasis on </li></ul>
  19. 20. MYSTERY PASSAGE <ul><li>Ephesians 5:21 - 25; 28-32 </li></ul><ul><li>HUSBAND – LOVE ! </li></ul><ul><li>WIFE – HONOUR AND SUBMISSION </li></ul>
  20. 21. PAY ATTENTION
  21. 22. Communication & Caring <ul><li>“ Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God” (Rom 15:7) </li></ul><ul><li>Communication is to love what blood is to life. It is the key to sharing of our lives, and resolving of our conflicts. </li></ul><ul><li>Pay attention. Listen to the message, don’t just hear the words. </li></ul>
  22. 23. Communication & Caring <ul><li>Accept. Do not confuse with “agree.” You can accept without agreeing. </li></ul><ul><li>Speak on same wave-length. </li></ul><ul><li>Learn non-verbal communication. Know before you are told. </li></ul><ul><li>Set “sacred time.” Cultivate wide, overlapping interests </li></ul>
  23. 24. CONFLICT-SOLVING <ul><li>“ Be ye angry and sin not; let not the sun set upon your wrath” (Eph 4:26, KJV). </li></ul><ul><li>Do not be surprised, afraid or discouraged by conflicts. It is part of life: the more growth, the more pain. </li></ul>
  24. 25. CONFLICT-SOLVING <ul><li>Recognise the four styles of handling conflict. Which is yours? Your spouse? </li></ul><ul><li>Appreciate that different people handle conflicts differently, e.g. </li></ul><ul><li>one may want to talk about it while conflict is on; </li></ul><ul><li>the other may want to wait till things cool down. </li></ul>
  25. 26. CONFLICT-SOLVING <ul><li>Work towards “resolve” (win-win), </li></ul><ul><li>if not possible, </li></ul><ul><li>then work on “compromise”. </li></ul><ul><li>Note the difference: </li></ul><ul><li>resolve deals with the “root cause”, compromise only with the “symptoms”. </li></ul>
  26. 27. HOW DO YOU FACE CONFLICTS ? YIELD RESOLVE COMPROMISE WITHDRAW WIN HIGH IN ACHIEVED NEEDS LOW IN ACHIEVED NEEDS LOW CONCERN FOR RELATIONSHIP HIGH CONCERN FOR RELATIONSHIP
  27. 28. CONFLICT-SOLVING <ul><li>Use “I” (how I feel) rather than “you” (what you have done) language. “You always…” or “You never…” is accusatory and often provokes denial and argument. </li></ul><ul><li>“ I feel...” or “I am…” expresses how one feels and invites understanding. </li></ul>
  28. 29. CONFLICT-SOLVING <ul><li>Deal with the issue; don’t attack the person. Kick the ball, not the leg. Keep the main issue the main issue, </li></ul><ul><li>e.g. if the issue is finances, don’t attack the in-laws. </li></ul>
  29. 30. CONFLICT-SOLVING <ul><li>Pray together. Nothing humbles us like coming into the presence of the Lord. Cultivate a habit of praying together at the start and end of the day. It will help in times of trouble. </li></ul>
  30. 31. RESULT – REDEMPTION OF FAMILY <ul><li>Redemption is experienced - families live the redeemed life of love, forgiveness, reconciliation etc. </li></ul><ul><li>“ Marriage itself can be a redemptive experience whereby men and women are redeemed by each other’s love from sickness, isolation, insecurity and selfishness, and healed in the deepest parts of their personalities.” </li></ul>
  31. 32. RESPONSIBILITIES OF PARENTS <ul><li>BRINGING UP CHILDREN: </li></ul><ul><li>Genesis 1:28 “Be fruitful and multiply” Children are praised in Scriptures e.g. Genesis 15:5 Prov 16:, Ps. 127:3-5 </li></ul><ul><li>God’s purpose – </li></ul><ul><li>Mal 2:15 To bring forth a holy race </li></ul><ul><li>we’re to dwell in families. Gen 12:3; Eph 3:15 </li></ul>
  32. 33. PARENTING
  33. 34. CHILDREN <ul><li>God’s and not yours </li></ul><ul><li>Prayer of Manoah </li></ul><ul><li>Instructions ‘in the LORD’ </li></ul><ul><li>Point them to the LORD and not to yourself </li></ul><ul><li>Self fulfilling prophecies (Life and death are at the authority of tongue) </li></ul><ul><li>Chastisement Vs punishment </li></ul>
  34. 35. DANGER <ul><li>CAUTION: </li></ul><ul><li>Ministry first to the family. If not </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Family may be hurt & spoilt </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Ministry outside may be affected </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Children may not grow up as Children of God ( 1 Sam 2:22-25) </li></ul></ul>
  35. 36. ESSENTIAL FOR BLESSING OF THE FAMILY (PS 128): <ul><li>Meaningful touch </li></ul><ul><li>Encouraging words </li></ul><ul><li>Think high of family members </li></ul><ul><li>Stand firm as per marriage oath </li></ul><ul><li>Joy & pride at childbirth should remain throughout </li></ul><ul><li>Active commitment for the joy of the family </li></ul>
  36. 37. KEY QUESTION <ul><li>Relationship – Does the way we relate to our spouse and to our children reflect God’s characteristics of love, patience, gentleness, forgiveness, etc.? </li></ul><ul><li>How do we view our spouse – equal with us under God, or we as superior and they as inferior? As a person or a thing? </li></ul>
  37. 38. TELL YOUR WIFE / HUSBAND <ul><li>Next to God, you are the most important person in my life. </li></ul>
  38. 39. TELL YOUR WIFE / HUSBAND <ul><li>2. I accept you as you are, and forgive you any wrong you do. (“Accept one another… just as Christ accepted you….” Romans 15.7; “…Forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4.32). </li></ul>
  39. 40. TELL YOUR WIFE / HUSBAND <ul><li>I share your burden and </li></ul><ul><li>listen to your heart. </li></ul><ul><li>(“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6.2; </li></ul><ul><li>“… Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak….” James 1.19). </li></ul>
  40. 41. TELL YOUR WIFE / HUSBAND <ul><li>I am your servant-leader, and work for your best interests. </li></ul><ul><li>(“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Ephesians 5.21) </li></ul>
  41. 42. TELL YOUR WIFE / HUSBAND <ul><li>I am committed to you for as long as I live. </li></ul><ul><li>(“Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” Mark 10.9). </li></ul>
  42. 43. TELL YOUR WIFE / HUSBAND <ul><li>6. Next to God, you are the most important person in my life. </li></ul>
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