@ImNickArmstrong
  Marketing is For the Dogs
What if all your
   customers..
...were canines?
Quick Comparison

            People                             Dogs

* Are Rude                          * Are Awesome
*...
Consumer Behavior
          People

   Decision



       Will it
   get me laid or
                    Yes Awesome.*
    ...
Canine Behavior
            Dogs

   Decision



       Will it
   get me laid or
                    Yes Awesome.
       ...
Bad Business Behavior
        Cubicles
   9+ hour Work Day
     Shorter Breaks       Employees and Customers
             ...
Bad Pet Owner Behavior
     No Attention
      No Affection
       No Treats             Dogs Just Take It.
       No Walk...
What the holy hell are we doing?

          *cue Sarah McLachlan
I’m mad as hell.

      I’m a human being.

       My life has value.

I’m not going to take this anymore.
Comparison of Needs

         Dogs                  People

        Exercise               Exercise
         Food         ...
Consumer Motivations
      Dogs              People

      Treats            Money
       Food              Food
       Se...
Business Motivations
                  Profit

            Greed (for profit)

            Fame (for profit)

        Generos...
Laurie
     Ron Z
       Ava
     Viveka
      Steve
      Angel
        Liz
     Katrina
       Julie
      Kevin
       ...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/timdorr/2096272747/sizes/o/
Being polite is
no substitute for
actually caring.
Thank You.
@ImNickArmstrong
IAmNickArmstrong.com
Marketing is for the Dogs :: Nick Armstrong at Ignite Fort Collins #4
Marketing is for the Dogs :: Nick Armstrong at Ignite Fort Collins #4
Marketing is for the Dogs :: Nick Armstrong at Ignite Fort Collins #4
Marketing is for the Dogs :: Nick Armstrong at Ignite Fort Collins #4
Marketing is for the Dogs :: Nick Armstrong at Ignite Fort Collins #4
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Marketing is for the Dogs :: Nick Armstrong at Ignite Fort Collins #4

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Nick Armstrong's Ignite Fort Collins #4 presentation - Marketing is for the Dogs

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Marketing is for the Dogs :: Nick Armstrong at Ignite Fort Collins #4

  1. @ImNickArmstrong Marketing is For the Dogs
  2. What if all your customers.. ...were canines?
  3. Quick Comparison People Dogs * Are Rude * Are Awesome * Suck * Love Unconditionally * Fart * Fart * Live for f*ckin ever (if jerks) * Don’t live long enough
  4. Consumer Behavior People Decision Will it get me laid or Yes Awesome.* paid? No *note: some people are whores for money. **note: some people are just whores. F#^% that.
  5. Canine Behavior Dogs Decision Will it get me laid or Yes Awesome. paid? No *note: dogs are whores for happiness. Awesome.
  6. Bad Business Behavior Cubicles 9+ hour Work Day Shorter Breaks Employees and Customers Just Take It. Lower Wages They Don’t Know Better or Eliminate Benefits Can’t Find Better or Can’t Eliminate 401k Get Help. No Refunds Community Suffers and Dies. Disrespect Community Don’t Listen
  7. Bad Pet Owner Behavior No Attention No Affection No Treats Dogs Just Take It. No Walks Dogs Don’t Know Better or Bark Collars Can’t Find Better or Can’t Get Help. Chained Up All Day Left In Hot Car Dog Suffers and Dies. No Water No Food
  8. What the holy hell are we doing? *cue Sarah McLachlan
  9. I’m mad as hell. I’m a human being. My life has value. I’m not going to take this anymore.
  10. Comparison of Needs Dogs People Exercise Exercise Food Food Attention Attention Love Love Work Hard, Play Hard Work Hard, Play Hard Squeaky Toy Ben + Jerry’s
  11. Consumer Motivations Dogs People Treats Money Food Food Sex Sex Love Fame Love Generosity Love Love Squeaky Toy Fun
  12. Business Motivations Profit Greed (for profit) Fame (for profit) Generosity (to hide profit) Serve The Community (rare!)
  13. Laurie Ron Z Ava Viveka Steve Angel Liz Katrina Julie Kevin Si Ron M Chris Cali (and many more)
  14. http://www.flickr.com/photos/timdorr/2096272747/sizes/o/
  15. Being polite is no substitute for actually caring. Thank You. @ImNickArmstrong IAmNickArmstrong.com

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