Conflict Management and
4 Jan 2014
What is conflict?
Constructive or destructive?
Good or Bad?
Does it result in winners or losers?
Is it unnatural?
Should it be expressed out in the open?
Is it inevitable?
Sources of Conflict
Short term pressures vs long term goals
Differing perceptions, values, cultural
Lack of clarity
Power, status etc
Ways to deal with common
Both parties talk things out and decide on a solution
that pleases both (Collaboration)
Both parties sort things out and each side makes a
One party gives in to the other party(Avoidance)
Both parties underplay the conflict(smoothing)
Someone who is not part of the conflict helps them to
talk things out and reach a solution(Mediation)
Both parties decide to talk things out with a third
party- third party determines a binding solution(
Both parties take the legal route( Adjudication)
My father said: "You must never try to make all the money
that's in a deal. Let the other fellow make some money too,
because if you have a reputation for always making all the
money, you won't have many deals.”
J. Paul Getty
Negotiation – What is it?
‘The process by
which we search for
the terms to obtain
what we want from
Confer with others to
reach a compromise or
Concise Oxford Dictionary
‘Negotiation is an
between people who
want something from
is to trade
When do we Negotiate?
When we need someone’s consent
When the time and effort of negotiating are
When the outcome is uncertain
Source: The Negotiate Trainers Manual 1996 p6.
Types of Behaviour in
RED- aggressive , demanding
BLUE- relational, cooperative
PURPLE- tit for tat strategies, problem
Determine what you want and what they want
Determine what you will trade- know your
Assess own strengths and weaknesses and
that of the other party
Positive powerful opening- remember that both
sides are under pressure.
Cover- why we are here, what we are going to
do how long it will take
Emphasize on the need for agreement
Do not feel intimidated
Use neutral tone- listen actively
Use purple behaviour at all times
Full disclosure of proposal?
Be prepared to make concessions
Do not ignore issues to speed up
Record fully all agreements finalized
ASSSERTIVENESS IS A SET OF COMMUNICATION SKILLS, NOT A PERSONALITY TYPE
LIKE ANY OTHER BEHAVIOR, ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION CAN BE LEARNED.
COMMUNICATE ASSERTIVELY IS TO COMMUNICATE YOUR THOUGHTS AND
HONESTLY AND APPROPRIATELY.
REQUIRES SELF-AWARENESS AND SELF-CONFIDENCE -KNOWING WHAT YOU
WANT AND BELIEVING THAT YOU DESERVE IT.
MEANS TREATING YOURSELF WITH THE SAME RESPECT THAT
YOU WOULD USUALLY DEMONSTRATE TOWARD OTHERS
INTENTIONALLY HURTING ANYONE'S FEELINGS.
DIRECT COMMUNICATION CAN REDUCE CONFLICT, BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE,
AND ENHANCE PERSONAL AND WORK RELATIONSHIPS.
A union leader interviewed on television made a passionate case that if only
the management would return to the negotiation table and ‘show some
flexibility’, he had no doubt that the bitter strike ‘would be settled in a
matter of hours’. Did he mean that:
The union was ready to make some concessions?
The management must make some concessions?
If the management made some concessions then the union would too?
The financial director of a large customer is an abusive and domineering
person, who has a repertoire of swear words and will not accept
‘No’ for an answer. She expects you to sit there and take it and
theatrically waves her arms about and throws papers around when
she wants to make a point. Do you:
a. Behave in a contrasting manner and keep your cool?
b. Agree to what she wants?
c. Wait to say your piece?