Love Addiction


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Love Addiction

  1. 1. Women and Love Addiction Cynthia Vela A-PSYC 4349 June 23, 2010
  2. 2. What is love? As an abstract concept, love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. In the U.S.: •Little girls are taught to dream of finding “the one” that will make her life complete. •Love stories-love at first sight, “Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella”, and tragic love stories where one is willing to die for their love-”Romeo and Juliet”. •Love songs. •A little girl grows and is then bombarded with romance novels and more love songs. She has been taught to search for an ideal, fictional, perfect man.
  3. 3. Love gone wrong What is love addiction? Love addiction is a destructive behavioral pattern that leads to unhealthy and harmful relationships. It is when one person loves another with compulsive intensity and in ways that are not in the best interest of either person. It is a: •Search for love to fill a void. •Search that turns into an obsession to find love that does not hurt, disappoint, or reject. •It turns into a reliance on an idea to try and heal past emotional trauma, fulfill loneliness, and maintain balance. •A woman in love with the idea of love or to the fantasy of romance. •The high experienced during the first stages of romance is what become the drug for the love addicted. •This addiction is an emotional and painful chaos that turns into a vicious cycle causing the addict to never develop real relationships of depth and meaning.
  4. 4. •Low self esteem. They expect their partner to give constant, unconditional love in order to relieve the pain of extremely low self esteem. •Feel worthless when not in a relationship-believe that a relationship makes them whole. •Suffer with other co-occurring disorders: depression, bipolar disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, ADD, ADHD, addiction, post traumatic disorder, and dysthymia. •Have an intense need to control, please others, or both. •Give an unordinary amount of time and attention to their partner- bordering on obsession. •Have a driving, desperate, frantic personality. •Need drama.
  5. 5. •Confuse sexual attraction with “love at first sight”. •Confuse intensity with intimacy. •Relationships start with intense passion then end quickly. •High risk behavior-becomes sexually or emotionally attached without taking the time to get to know a person. •Trade sex for love. • Avoid fear, rejection, and abandonment at all costs. Will tolerate anything to avoid being left-such as all forms of abuse and abuse of children.
  6. 6. 1. Attraction 2. Anxious 3. Obsessive 4. Destructive 5. PAIN-abnormal state of mind takes over and they become powerless over their own behavior. It is in this altered state of consciousness that the love addict will put everything on the line in the name of love. Some love addicts in this condition will even break the law despite all the risks involved. Can lead to stalking, rape, self inflicted harm, physical abuse, suicide, murder and other crimes of passion! Attraction Anxious ObsessiveDestructive PAIN
  7. 7. Love addicts are born into dysfunctional families and suffer from some type of trauma. •A mother whom was unloving and depriving in infancy up to 7 years of age. •Parent/s that suffered from alcohol or chemical addiction. •Physical abuse. •Emotional abuse. •Sexual abuse •These are people that suffered at the hands of those (parents) that were supposed to love and protect them.
  8. 8. 1. Addictive disorder must be brought under control. 2. Cognitive therapy helps to identify addictive triggers. 3. Anti- depressants prescribed. If they are not already suffering from depression they will be after working on family of origin issues. 4. Work on family of origin issues – which is the root of the problem. 5. 12 Step Program such as LAA or Love Addicts Anonymous. 6. Relapse Prevention. This last step is devoted to resolving whatever residual problems there are in the client’s establishing a primary, healthy, love relationship. The client will learn how to build and have a healthy relationship.
  9. 9. Halpern, H.M. (2004). How to break your addiction to a person. New York: McGraw – Hill. Melody, P., Miller, A.W., J.K. (2003). Facing love addiction: giving yourself the power to change the way you love. New York: Harper One. Moore, J.D. (2010). Relationship Addiction. Relationship Addiction. Retrieved June 7, 2010. from Petrie, J., Giordano, J.A., & Roberts, C.S., (1992). Characteristics of Women Who Love Too Much. Affilia, 7(1), 7-20.