Goldweaver Family Legacy Chapter 15: Nightime Thoughts
Goldweaver Family Legacy: Chapter 15
Dear Journal, I went home for my cousin’s birthday a few days ago. I found mother playing with the rabbit head. It looks like Aunt Maya’s outgoing streak lives on in little Jeff.
It was wonderful to see my little sister again too. I’ve missed Silvana while I’ve been in Waterfall Springs. I know that she’s always with me in spirit, but nothing beats a one on one conversation.
It was just the Vijayakar clan around for Jeff’s big day. I’m not really sure why though. I figured Aunt Maya would have thrown a huge party for him. Everyone kept shooting father these odd looks. And to be honest father and I barely spoke while I was home. Actually he hardly spoke at all.
It seems that Jeff has taken after his mother in looks, but I can’t help but wonder if he’s different like us. His father was a son of the night too after all.
But I didn’t notice anything unusual while I was home. My gift showed itself almost the minute I turned seven. It was the same way for Silvana. I still don’t think she’s mentioned that she’s special to anyone else in the family besides me. My sister is unsure about her gift, and I can understand that. I didn’t want to tell anyone at first either.
Before I left I got a hug from Aunt Maya. She said something before I left which sounded innocent enough, but for some reason it felt like she was saying a lot more once I arrived back at the safe house. “Be sure to keep in touch.” I wonder if my gift makes me read too much into things or if I really should come home more often?
I went back to the safe house and settled back into my life in Waterfall Springs. I still have a love for chess and I’ve been quite pleased to find that several of my housemates enjoy the game as well.
Grandfather instructed me to find ways to calm my mind before bed in order to control the dreaming. Chess is one of the tools I use to keep the dreams from tormenting my sleep, though I admit it is not always effective.
Music calms me during the day. I’ve found as I age that visions come more often during the daylight as well, though I still primarily see my visions at night. When my head is clear, it is said the visions are clearer and will make more sense. But I’m finding this is not always the case, but that may be due to a lack of proper training.
One of my new housemates of gypsy descent caught my attention yesterday morning. I’ve spoken with her before, but not extensively. She was trying to walk across the floor when she tripped over her own feet and nearly fell over. I’ve seen her tripping several times in the past. She’s not very light on her feet it would seem.
I helped her to her feet and then the two of us started dancing the morning away. I was surprised to find that she didn’t know the smustle. It’s a gypsy dance or at least that’s what everyone has always led me to believe. It took her some time to learn the steps, but she caught on eventually. We were laughing and having a good time and so naturally, my younger sister chose that moment to put her gift to use. Toren
Little Sis to Toren. Giving you the home front update. Harmonious Haven is officially open. Dad played chess all morning the first day. Mom played darts and I’ve decided a family business is bad for an untrained telepath. I swear some people can think of the strangest things.
Dear Journal, Having a telepathic sister can have it’s benefits, but there are times you’d rather not have your day interrupted by a long distance mental communication from your baby sister.
As far as I know, only Silvana can speak through a person’s mind. If I can talk back, I haven’t learned how. So our conversations are all one sided. If I want to respond to a mental update, I still have to either call home or visit with her in person. And after that interruption, I gave Si a call.
Silvana tries not to use her mind reading ability, but sometimes it’s inevitable that she’ll pick something up. She finds the idea that she can hear what others are thinking a little bit creepy. I have to agree with that assessment. There are just some things you don’t really want to know about another person.
Most of the mental updates now come between the hours of 7 and 9 p.m. After the interruption the other day, we set up a time for her to send in regular updates. I usually get them now when I’m doing my nightly paranormal research. Toren
Little Sis to Toren. Another home front update. Cousin Gallia turned seven years old yesterday Dad didn’t attend party. Wouldn’t say why. Maybe you could talk to him?
Dear Journal, I don’t know why she always ends a mental communication with a question. She knows I can’t answer her. I suppose it’s a habit. In safe house news, I’ve met two new residents of Waterfall Springs who have some knowledge on the “gifts” often associated with our kind. Although Silvana and I are the first two individuals in ages who have “gifts” that aren’t members of the order itself. It’s been interesting reading about others like myself and still overwhelming. However, neither of the two gentlemen know where the order currently hold meetings. Toren
Little Sis to Toren. Home front update. I accidentally used my gift. Need help call soon.
Dear Journal, The last home front update as we’ve come to call them came right after a vision or possibly during a vision. I couldn’t really tell. My visions are extremely disorienting at times. I have a hard time returning to reality after they are over. My mind was a mess for about half an hour and I had to clear my head before I could even think about having a coherent conversation with Silvana.
The long story short, is that Silvana accidentally let it slip out of the bag that she is telepathic to Tala. I’ve told her that she wasn’t going to be able to hide this forever, and I think she knew that. But it didn’t make it any easier on her when it all came out. She’s been so worried about how everyone else would react. But Tala’s taken the news fine, and in fact the revelation seems to have drawn the two closer.
I think now that it’s all out in the open things will be easier. It was getting hard to look mother and father in the eyes knowing I was keeping that large a secret from them. From what I’ve heard from home front updates, Silvana goes over to Uncle Christian and Aunt Alfhild’s everyday after school.
She’s been spending not only a great deal of her time with Tala, but apparently a good portion is also spent with Kaya. I’m glad our cousins are taking our differences so well.
Whenever Cousin Iruviel comes home with Kaya, the two are inseparable. Plus if the two girls are playing dolls, or whatever Silvana is free to spend time with Tala.
As for me, I’ve been continuing my research on my ability. It’s slow going and I fear that I’ve learned as much as I can on my own. I’m realizing I am going to need to become more proactive in my search for the order of the night if I’m ever going to master my dreams. Toren
Little Sis to Toren. Home front update for you. Still getting along with Tala and Co. Uncle Cinaed is throwing a party for Arden’s seventh birthday. Dad’s still moody. He’s stopped telling me stories at night. He spends most of his time in the study or at Harmonious Haven. I miss the dad that would smile and laugh. Even mom’s been quiet lately. Do you think they’re mad at me? I’m so confused.
Dear Journal, After the last home front update, I felt I should take a trip home. Silvana sounded extremely upset through our mental bond. I’ve also been having troubling dreams about father recently. I felt the need to check in with him and see I could bring some life back into him. Father hasn’t been the same since we left Lorian, but it worries me how he has progressively become more and more isolated in recent seasons.
Silvana’s emotional state must be more unstable than I anticipated. It is not often that I find her in need of her relaxation tools. But she spent most of my visit home on the piano or painting a sign her ability was giving her problems.
I found father at Harmonious Haven spending most of the time discussing the inhabitants of Lorian. I know father has always taken his role as protector of Lorian very seriously, and that the plight of those men and women has always affected him, but it seems that since our exile he cannot stop blaming himself for what occurred. I have no doubt that my father did all that he could to protect our people, and I intend to do my part to continue what he and the others before me started.
The second day of my stay was Arden’s birthday. There are only three males this generation, and Arden and Jeff are both fine boys, but I am not particularly close to them. We arrived at the Ceberlandon house and I found Iruviel Ceberlandon and Kaya engaged in a game of Red hands.
It was a true family get together. Every branch of the family tree was there to celebrate the Ceberlandon heir’s childhood transition. Father did not crack a smile the entire time. According to Silvana, he was physically present, but his mind was far away. I tried to speak with him, but I had no luck.
All the children decided to spend the evening with one another. Jeff smacked Kaya’s head off with pillows, showing he’s been taking lessons from his mother.
Arden spent most of the evening sitting outside looking at the stars, though he did spend some time with Jeff. However, from what I could tell the two boys are quite different and though a friendship may develop it will take some time.
Iruviel spent her evening with Kaya. Those two are always together. I barely saw either of them without the other.
We eventually went back home. I noted that Silvana really has been painting a lot since I left for my journey. There are portraits all over the walls that weren’t there when I was home during my last visit only a few short months ago. Although they look lovely, it pains me to think how troubled Silvana has been lately. Kaya came over mid-morning on my third and last day at home. She agreed to play chess with me. I was hoping father would play, but he refused and instead headed into the kitchen.
I saw Silvana trying to engage Father in a conversation. I did not catch what was said, but from what I could see it did not end well.
My suspicions were confirmed when I found Silvana painting in her room as I left. She’d nearly finished yet another portrait, not surprisingly I saw tears in her eyes as she looked upon my father’s face.
I feel that I need to do something, but I’m not sure what it is that I can do. Every time I try and speak with my father, he makes excuses to leave the room. It hurts me to see my father who was once so full of life, so utterly miserable. It’s even worse when I cannot seem to come up with a solution to help. I fear that my sleep will be quite troubled tonight. Toren ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Journal, I find that this is the first time in months that I’ve written on your pages. Shortly after Toren’s departure for Waterfall Springs more troubling news reached my ears about conditions in Lorian. I find it impossible not to blame myself for the current state of things. Lately all I seem able to do is come into Harmonious Haven and hope someone from my old home will pass through with better news. I’ve caught myself yelling at my wife and children or otherwise cutting them out of my life. Apparently word reached Pyrrhus and he decided enough was enough.
I admit that when he first confronted me about my behavior I lashed out at him. I feel extremely guilty about it now, but at the time I just didn’t want to hear that the way I’d been treating Kali, Silvana and Toren was unacceptable. No husband or father wants to hear they have done wrong to their family.
Eventually my common sense has started to return. I’ve felt so many deep emotions since the exile. It has always troubled me that my son was afraid to tell me of his prophetic dreams. This old insecurity rose up once more when I discovered that my daughter had been afraid to tell me she was a telepath even after witnessing how I treated her brother. It’s been difficult not to feel a great sense of pain. I was more hurt than I was angry at them. In my hurt however, I began to push them away from me.
Pyrrhus and Kali both offered to help me run Harmonious Haven. I took them up on their offer after some persuasion. Over the next few weeks they became a constant support. In the end Pyrrhus who knows my stubborn streak all too well, broke through my shields.
Eventually I sought out his advice one evening just before closing. I had been thinking so much about the “intervention” during my journey in the past weeks, and I couldn’t help but remember how instrumental Pyrrhus had been in my courtship with Kali. I told him about Silvana’s recent revelation that she and Tala wanted to join Toren in Waterfall Springs and how I was afraid to let them leave as well as the pain I felt that Silvana had not confided in me about her ability.
Pyrrhus’ solution to my worries? A pillow fight. What were you expecting, a heart to heart talk? Okay so there was a heart to heart talk in there too, it just took place while he was whacking some sense into my thick head with a lot of feathers.
And of course, it was no surprise when Maya showed up the next day to catch up with her older brother. She and Pyrrhus have always been close, so no doubt he tattled on me. Naturally the conversation was one sided and lasted 45 minutes.
I came home from the Haven primarily because Maya refused to leave and stop yakking my ears off. Well that’s one way to get me to go home I suppose. I walked by my daughter’s room and found her painting at the ease I gave her shortly after we moved to Rainbow Valley. For the first time in a long while I actually looked at my daughter. I saw her sad eyes, and my heart broke.
I realized that even if I’m scared to let her go, that it is something I have to do. I can’t hold her hand forever, even though I’d really like too. We had a long talk that night and for the first time in almost a year when she begged me to tell her the bedtime story I couldn’t say no.
All too soon it was time for the girls to leave. As I kissed my baby girl good-bye I couldn’t help but feel the fear rising up inside of me again. What if that is the last time I see her? I’ve lost so many of those I love, I don’t know if I can stand to loose anymore.
And though I worry about my daughter, my worries for Tala are even greater. She is a McCarthy and Edward’s last warning was that some danger may befall one or both of those girls. Toren has so far had no dreams about them, or at least he has not confided any in me. I hugged her tightly and made her promise she would be careful.
Christian took the time to warn his eldest of the dangers Waterfall Springs has to offer and gave his own farewell.
Tala said good-bye to her sister Kaya who will be a teenager in just a few short days. My how the years have flown by us.
It wasn’t long before Toren arrived. As I watched my two children together I couldn’t help but smile.
They saw me watching or else Silvana heard my thoughts, and they soon gave me a hug. As Tala, Kaya, and Christian broke into a game of kicky bag, my children and I cheered them on. As I stood beside my son and daughter, I felt an immense sense of pride.
The girls are now gone, and now it’s just Kali and I at the Vijayakar plot. It’s been so quiet and I’m marking off the days until Silvana and Toren to return home.
I know that Toren will take care of the girls and our family in the years to come. I hope that he and my daughter find the knowledge that they are seeking. And of course I hope that they find someone who can make them as happy as their mother has made me.
I still feel guilty for what has happened. No amount of time will likely erase the pain or anger I feel. But I’ve decided no amount of pain I feel should be enough to pull me away from those that matter the most. I don’t know what the future holds for us, or if I can ever make up for my failings in the past. But I plan to do everything I can to overcome the dark future that has been foreseen by Edward and my son.
And I’m finding that every night around 8 o’clock I find myself retelling “the bedtime story” inside my head for my green eyed baby girl. And I also take the time to play a game of chess every night at 9 so that my son may have pleasant dreams. Glyndwr Vijayakar